Cancer

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

Just found out that my mother's partner, who has been both one of my best friends in the world for the last 30 years, and a wonderful mentor, has cancer - multiple myeloma, a bone marrow cancer. Seems like they caught it early and he has a chance, although quite rightly no-one will quantify it. He'll fight it to the end though, he's that kind of guy.

On the flipside, I have no idea what to do except offer any help that I can give, and no idea how to feel. Guess I'm in shock.

Dirty Day. :depressed

[FromWayDowntown]

Somehow, anything I try to write on this sounds trite. You and your mother's partner will be in our thoughts and prayers.

I suppose I'd just take heart in the possibility that early detection and a fighter's heart will give him a chance, at least.

[ashbeeigh]

I have no idea what to do except offer any help that I can give, and no idea how to feel. Guess I'm in shock.



That's all most of us can do. My great aunt was just diagnosed with brain cancer (early-stage 2 but still scary) so you'll surely b in my thoughts and prayers.

[marini martini]

A hell of a blow for ya'll. Spend the rest of his day's letting him know how much he meant to you!:toast

[NuGGeTs-FaN]

Mate, i'll be praying for your Mother's partner. My dad has has beaten cancer and had it come back 3 times over the past 18 years. He has seen two of his younger business partners die of cancer during this time.

It is a horrible disease but it can be beaten. Apart from prayer, one of the best things to do is to stay positive and just keep fighting day in and day out. My dad is a warrior and never slowed down or got down in the dumps, even when it came back those various times. Made me even more proud of him and i believe he was the perfect example of how to not give in, even when things look grim.

Obviously the big things for us a family was our faith in God and just continual prayer that he would be healed. The flip side is that his business partners were also believers and they didn't make it. Only God knows why some people survive and some don't, but i just encourage you to be an encouragement to your mum's partner. Nothing lifts people up like encouraging words from others.

[sabar]

Physically, you could offer your bone morrow I suppose. But of course this is about more esoteric things. Regardless of what seems to loom on the horizon, you gotta be there for the people close to you. Don't put on a sad face in front of them. Smile and say that you're there for them. This is a manageable disease and you can tackle it as a group. There is more than just physically attacking it with chemo and marrow transplants. There is also the support of those that you lean on when things are rough, and as long as you are there and strong-willed, it will be fine. When people need you to lend them your strength, you have to endure and not hang your head.

There is no one that can say how one should feel about these things. Shock comes naturally, and so will those other feelings that seem to be missing.

If there is anything to take away, it is that the survival rate is at least measured in years instead of months. There is plenty of time to think and talk with your pal. These are the events that define us. Things will make sense, in time. Best luck to you and your family.

[tlongII]

Good luck. I hope he beats it. Cancer sucks ass.

[angel_luv]

I am praying for your friend, Ruff. I will ask my friends at church to pray for you guys too.

[Frenzy]

When will the nerds in the science labs be rid of this foul beast...cancer. Hits anyone randomly...I hate this shit.

Hope he beats it... how we all do.

[The Gemini Method]

I lost my father to melanoma on Valentine's Day 2004...and know somewhat what you're going through. The best thing I can say is; be there for him and just treat him as if he is normal. Making him feel any different will only remind him constantly of the cancer he is fighting. May he beat it and may your family remain strong in this time of crisis.

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

Thanks everyone for the kind thoughts. :toast


Somehow, anything I try to write on this sounds trite. You and your mother's partner will be in our thoughts and prayers.

I suppose I'd just take heart in the possibility that early detection and a fighter's heart will give him a chance, at least.

Thanks FWD, and yeah, it's really hard to know what to say... I feel the same way.

Yup, caught it early, so he has a decent chance to beat it.


That's all most of us can do. My great aunt was just diagnosed with brain cancer (early-stage 2 but still scary) so you'll surely b in my thoughts and prayers.

I'm sorry to hear that ashbeeigh, all the best to your family from us.


A hell of a blow for ya'll. Spend the rest of his day's letting him know how much he meant to you!:toast

Damn straight. Exactly what I plan to do, whatever the outcome.

Although I have a mother and father (divorced when I was 7) who have been incredible parents, Peter and I have always been extra close, ever since that first night when Mum was studying at a night course and Peter took me to a little French restaurant called Chez Paul (...he must have sensed my sophisticated tastes), then to the gaming arcade up the road (...and my less sophisticated ones :lol ). We've been best of friends ever since without even one major argument, and even passed through SA together in 1999 on a 3-week road trip of the Western US we did together.


Mate, i'll be praying for your Mother's partner. My dad has has beaten cancer and had it come back 3 times over the past 18 years. He has seen two of his younger business partners die of cancer during this time.

It is a horrible disease but it can be beaten. Apart from prayer, one of the best things to do is to stay positive and just keep fighting day in and day out. My dad is a warrior and never slowed down or got down in the dumps, even when it came back those various times. Made me even more proud of him and i believe he was the perfect example of how to not give in, even when things look grim.

Obviously the big things for us a family was our faith in God and just continual prayer that he would be healed. The flip side is that his business partners were also believers and they didn't make it. Only God knows why some people survive and some don't, but i just encourage you to be an encouragement to your mum's partner. Nothing lifts people up like encouraging words from others.

Thanks mate, and thanks for your Dad's story - he does sound like a warrior. Peter is a mentally tough man too, and knowing him he'll fight this with a courage that I know we'll all admire.

On an aside, were you father and his partners in a dangerous industry, or is their cancer a coincidence? Apparently 1 in 3 people have some kind of cancer at some stage, so the latter is not overly unlikely.


Physically, you could offer your bone morrow I suppose. But of course this is about more esoteric things. Regardless of what seems to loom on the horizon, you gotta be there for the people close to you. Don't put on a sad face in front of them. Smile and say that you're there for them. This is a manageable disease and you can tackle it as a group. There is more than just physically attacking it with chemo and marrow transplants. There is also the support of those that you lean on when things are rough, and as long as you are there and strong-willed, it will be fine. When people need you to lend them your strength, you have to endure and not hang your head.

There is no one that can say how one should feel about these things. Shock comes naturally, and so will those other feelings that seem to be missing.

If there is anything to take away, it is that the survival rate is at least measured in years instead of months. There is plenty of time to think and talk with your pal. These are the events that define us. Things will make sense, in time. Best luck to you and your family.

The cancer is multiple myeloma, but there's no need for the bone marrow because they use stem cells instead these days. Basically, they kill off all your bone marrow and replace it with marrow cells cultured from stem cells. Even a few years ago he would have had a far worse chance of beating it, because this is relatively new. If he needs mine though, it's there. As for your advice on positivity, well said, and noted. :tu

Yeah, median survival rate for this kind of cancer is 44months, although that is highly variable depending on the stage you catch it at and the treatment available. Given the cutting edge treatment options, and that he caught ti early, hopefully that time horizon can be extended.


Good luck. I hope he beats it. Cancer sucks ass.

Thanks. Yup, it's the very definition of sucking arse.


I am praying for your friend, Ruff. I will ask my friends at church to pray for you guys too.

Thanks Angel, you're a gem.


When will the nerds in the science labs be rid of this foul beast...cancer. Hits anyone randomly...I hate this shit.

Hope he beats it... how we all do.

Thanks. Yup, it's crap. A random "fuck you!" from the Universe.


I lost my father to melanoma on Valentine's Day 2004...and know somewhat what you're going through. The best thing I can say is; be there for him and just treat him as if he is normal. Making him feel any different will only remind him constantly of the cancer he is fighting. May he beat it and may your family remain strong in this time of crisis.

Good advice, thanks. I'm going to try my utmost to just be as we always have been until he needs something different from me.

[NuGGeTs-FaN]

On an aside, were you father and his partners in a dangerous industry, or is their cancer a coincidence? Apparently 1 in 3 people have some kind of cancer at some stage, so the latter is not overly unlikely.




Nope, that is the strange thing. They were all businessmen who had various businesses but not in one particular industry or environment.

[z0sa]

All of our seconds are numbered. Fight the good fight and never forget the love you share.