1369
01-19-2010, 01:27 PM
Link (http://czabe.blogspot.com/2010/01/you-aint-only-one-with-problem.html)
It’s been two weeks since my show “officially” ceased to exist on Fox Sports Radio.
And I have a problem.
I too, need something to listen to in the morning.
After five years of serving the sports radio breakfast, I’m standing in line at the buffet just like the rest of you.
So I spent some time flipping around last week, and I made some notes. So here goes…
My replacement, Steven A. Smith, certainly has his own, ahem, style. I said, he HAS… HIS… OWN… STYLE! The best thing about him I have realized already, is that when he makes a point, he’ll repeat it for you just in case you missed it.
AND LOUDER!
Which I think we can all agree, helps make any point a little better.
I was listening and wondered: “Didn’t he just say that? Oh, wait. Maybe I hit the “8-second jump back” button my car radio TIVO.” Then I realized, I don’t HAVE an in-car radio TIVO, and he DID just say that.
Again.
I remember when I would sometimes wander a bit on a non-sports tangent. I would always get angry text messages about 3-4 minutes into it, imploring me to get back to sports. So usually, at about the 6 minute mark without any sports oxygen, I would realize, I better get back to the sports surface.
Mr. Smith appears to have a much bigger dive tank.
For example, on the Friday before the most glorious four-game orgy of NFL playoff action – in the meaty tenderloin of the 3-hour show, the 7 a.m. eastern hour – Mr. Smith spent the first 19 minutes flirting with his two female co-workers on the air.
He also mentioned (several times) how gorgeous another un-known saleswoman in the office was, a woman I am certain will remain unknown to 99.99% of his audience from now until, um, eternity.
He finally got around to some NFL talk a few minutes before the break. Yet sadly, he only offered a half-hearted thought/prediction/hope on a single game (Cowboys v. Vikings). I listened closely. I couldn’t really tell if he was making a prediction, or not.
Then, he asked his two female co-workers what THEY thought about the game! Awesome! I had been waiting to hear their breakdown all morning, so wow, this was gonna be good!
One said she was rooting for the cowboys. The other said… well, I forgot.
Then, it was time for a break. Whew. Hard work, a solid segment in the books.
I remember that 7 a.m. top of the hour segment during football season. We used to play “You Are Looking Live.” We’d give stats, point spreads, injuries, game angles, announcers, and picks in rapid fire fashion, all with a little Brent Musburger audio love generously ladled on top like a thick warm syrup.
It took a fair amount of prep and chemistry to get all that stuff lined up and ready to go, but I always felt it was worth it when it all clicked.
And to think, I used to feel BAD if I didn’t go fast enough to get all the games in on time!
Ha, silly me! What was I thinking?
So I then heard Smith interview Denzel Washington over lunch (or so it sounded) on tape.
I was impressed!
I don’t know anybody in Hollywood, not even low-level chump actors. And you saw what Drew Brees did to me. Gave me the worst 2 minutes ever, on a bad speakerphone.
Most of the interview was disposable, but I did perk my ears up when Denzel talked about McNabb and the Eagles. Denzel’s take was that the Eagles need a big power back, and that not having one has led to McNabb taking too much blame for things.
Hmm.
Then one of them asked rhetorically: “So do you go with #5, or to you go with #7 next year?” Both men agreed: you gotta stay with #5.
“Um, hellooooo. It’s Kevin Kolb, here, ol’ #4! What am I, a potted plant?”
Nobody mentioned the 4-car, who has been, and still is, #2 on their depth chart, for whatever that’s worth.
Oh well. Fight the power!
Then when it was over, Smith’s lovely partner said she didn’t think Denzel was all that hot. Steven A. sounded ready to eat his foam microphone cover in shock and disgust.
Good times, another break.
I had to go, but I’ll be back periodically just to peek in at my old house and see how the new furniture looks. Not like I hold a grudge against him. He didn’t TAKE my show. I was fired, he just happened to be in line to get it. Besides, I’ll listen to anybody and everybody for at least a few minutes.
Remember, I’m not just a sports talk radio distributor, I’m also a customer!
Then I wandered over to Mike and Mike in the Morning.
Man, those guys can TALK! I swear it wasn’t but about 1 second after one guy stopped talking, that the other guy just jumped right in, and kept it goin!
The show reminds me a little like the movie Speed, where if the bus slows to under 55 miles an hour it blows up. Maybe management has warned them: if you pause for more than 3 seconds to let a point soak in, or just to breathe, the studio collapses, flips upside down, and up pops a new show featuring Trey Wingo and Mark Schlereth.
Serious, though. Very serious. I guess being the morning show at the World Wide Leader it’s all about sports, and sports is very serious stuff, and we’ve got a lot to talk about so, let’s not waste any time dilly-dallying and jacking around!
It was, almost the exact polar opposite of what I heard on Steven A’s show. I swear I have a hunch that somewhere in between that gulf of styles, you could go half-and-half and have a real winner on your hands.
But what do I know?
I listened to their vaunted “Stone Cold Lead Pipe Locks” for the NFL weekend. Great! I need a lock or two! I couldn’t pick the winner in a North Korean parliamentary election, if you forced me to take the communist and the points!
As listened, however, I wasn’t hearing any um, “locks” per se. Not even picks that they THOUGHT were locks. In fact, all I got was a bunch of fence straddling, equivocating, and at the end of it, a selection of a point spread victor by both guys that seemed like it was coerced at bayonet point!
Come on, fellas! You gotta be sure about something! They won’t fire you if you are wrong! Just cut loose, give me something you feel deep inside your sporting bones!
Nah.
But if nothing else with that show, you know you are going to get the full cast of Disney characters. Stink, Mort, Jaws, Dopey, Sneezy, Goofy, Dickie V, and Digger. (How come they never get Suzy Kolber or Erin Andrews? Boooo…..!)
And so, like you my fair sports radio friends, I shall be flipping around the car as I drive around in the morning. My ritual now is a leisurely wake up at 6:30, and a 15 minute country drive past cows and horsies to the nearest 7-11 for a diet Big Gulp (with a dollop of cherry syrup! Yum!) and the Washington Post and USA Today in good old analog format. (People, we gotta keep buying these dead tree editions, because they won’t be with us much longer!)
I pass by the glorious glass case of sprinkled donuts, and fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. I remember in my pre-P90x days how I would lustily suck down a few of those too. No more.
And yeah, I listen to sports talk radio in the car. Let me know if there’s a hungry up and comer who deserves a listen. I’m all ears, and I’ve got the time.
It’s been two weeks since my show “officially” ceased to exist on Fox Sports Radio.
And I have a problem.
I too, need something to listen to in the morning.
After five years of serving the sports radio breakfast, I’m standing in line at the buffet just like the rest of you.
So I spent some time flipping around last week, and I made some notes. So here goes…
My replacement, Steven A. Smith, certainly has his own, ahem, style. I said, he HAS… HIS… OWN… STYLE! The best thing about him I have realized already, is that when he makes a point, he’ll repeat it for you just in case you missed it.
AND LOUDER!
Which I think we can all agree, helps make any point a little better.
I was listening and wondered: “Didn’t he just say that? Oh, wait. Maybe I hit the “8-second jump back” button my car radio TIVO.” Then I realized, I don’t HAVE an in-car radio TIVO, and he DID just say that.
Again.
I remember when I would sometimes wander a bit on a non-sports tangent. I would always get angry text messages about 3-4 minutes into it, imploring me to get back to sports. So usually, at about the 6 minute mark without any sports oxygen, I would realize, I better get back to the sports surface.
Mr. Smith appears to have a much bigger dive tank.
For example, on the Friday before the most glorious four-game orgy of NFL playoff action – in the meaty tenderloin of the 3-hour show, the 7 a.m. eastern hour – Mr. Smith spent the first 19 minutes flirting with his two female co-workers on the air.
He also mentioned (several times) how gorgeous another un-known saleswoman in the office was, a woman I am certain will remain unknown to 99.99% of his audience from now until, um, eternity.
He finally got around to some NFL talk a few minutes before the break. Yet sadly, he only offered a half-hearted thought/prediction/hope on a single game (Cowboys v. Vikings). I listened closely. I couldn’t really tell if he was making a prediction, or not.
Then, he asked his two female co-workers what THEY thought about the game! Awesome! I had been waiting to hear their breakdown all morning, so wow, this was gonna be good!
One said she was rooting for the cowboys. The other said… well, I forgot.
Then, it was time for a break. Whew. Hard work, a solid segment in the books.
I remember that 7 a.m. top of the hour segment during football season. We used to play “You Are Looking Live.” We’d give stats, point spreads, injuries, game angles, announcers, and picks in rapid fire fashion, all with a little Brent Musburger audio love generously ladled on top like a thick warm syrup.
It took a fair amount of prep and chemistry to get all that stuff lined up and ready to go, but I always felt it was worth it when it all clicked.
And to think, I used to feel BAD if I didn’t go fast enough to get all the games in on time!
Ha, silly me! What was I thinking?
So I then heard Smith interview Denzel Washington over lunch (or so it sounded) on tape.
I was impressed!
I don’t know anybody in Hollywood, not even low-level chump actors. And you saw what Drew Brees did to me. Gave me the worst 2 minutes ever, on a bad speakerphone.
Most of the interview was disposable, but I did perk my ears up when Denzel talked about McNabb and the Eagles. Denzel’s take was that the Eagles need a big power back, and that not having one has led to McNabb taking too much blame for things.
Hmm.
Then one of them asked rhetorically: “So do you go with #5, or to you go with #7 next year?” Both men agreed: you gotta stay with #5.
“Um, hellooooo. It’s Kevin Kolb, here, ol’ #4! What am I, a potted plant?”
Nobody mentioned the 4-car, who has been, and still is, #2 on their depth chart, for whatever that’s worth.
Oh well. Fight the power!
Then when it was over, Smith’s lovely partner said she didn’t think Denzel was all that hot. Steven A. sounded ready to eat his foam microphone cover in shock and disgust.
Good times, another break.
I had to go, but I’ll be back periodically just to peek in at my old house and see how the new furniture looks. Not like I hold a grudge against him. He didn’t TAKE my show. I was fired, he just happened to be in line to get it. Besides, I’ll listen to anybody and everybody for at least a few minutes.
Remember, I’m not just a sports talk radio distributor, I’m also a customer!
Then I wandered over to Mike and Mike in the Morning.
Man, those guys can TALK! I swear it wasn’t but about 1 second after one guy stopped talking, that the other guy just jumped right in, and kept it goin!
The show reminds me a little like the movie Speed, where if the bus slows to under 55 miles an hour it blows up. Maybe management has warned them: if you pause for more than 3 seconds to let a point soak in, or just to breathe, the studio collapses, flips upside down, and up pops a new show featuring Trey Wingo and Mark Schlereth.
Serious, though. Very serious. I guess being the morning show at the World Wide Leader it’s all about sports, and sports is very serious stuff, and we’ve got a lot to talk about so, let’s not waste any time dilly-dallying and jacking around!
It was, almost the exact polar opposite of what I heard on Steven A’s show. I swear I have a hunch that somewhere in between that gulf of styles, you could go half-and-half and have a real winner on your hands.
But what do I know?
I listened to their vaunted “Stone Cold Lead Pipe Locks” for the NFL weekend. Great! I need a lock or two! I couldn’t pick the winner in a North Korean parliamentary election, if you forced me to take the communist and the points!
As listened, however, I wasn’t hearing any um, “locks” per se. Not even picks that they THOUGHT were locks. In fact, all I got was a bunch of fence straddling, equivocating, and at the end of it, a selection of a point spread victor by both guys that seemed like it was coerced at bayonet point!
Come on, fellas! You gotta be sure about something! They won’t fire you if you are wrong! Just cut loose, give me something you feel deep inside your sporting bones!
Nah.
But if nothing else with that show, you know you are going to get the full cast of Disney characters. Stink, Mort, Jaws, Dopey, Sneezy, Goofy, Dickie V, and Digger. (How come they never get Suzy Kolber or Erin Andrews? Boooo…..!)
And so, like you my fair sports radio friends, I shall be flipping around the car as I drive around in the morning. My ritual now is a leisurely wake up at 6:30, and a 15 minute country drive past cows and horsies to the nearest 7-11 for a diet Big Gulp (with a dollop of cherry syrup! Yum!) and the Washington Post and USA Today in good old analog format. (People, we gotta keep buying these dead tree editions, because they won’t be with us much longer!)
I pass by the glorious glass case of sprinkled donuts, and fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. I remember in my pre-P90x days how I would lustily suck down a few of those too. No more.
And yeah, I listen to sports talk radio in the car. Let me know if there’s a hungry up and comer who deserves a listen. I’m all ears, and I’ve got the time.