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View Full Version : If Evil became a Spur then...



Tommy Duncan
09-17-2004, 11:30 AM
...the Spurs would have to develop a PR strategy to make Evil acceptable to San Antonio de Bexar.

First off, Evil must appear as often as possible in public with Saint David. Evil should join DRob's bible study group. Perhaps Evil would agree to be baptized by DRob at the Arneson River Theater? Full body immersion.

Secondly, Evil should talk about "hard work", "'disciplining kids", "drugs are bad", and how things "just ain't right anymore" to as many reporters as possible. Also, praise the military a lot. That will help to win over Northside.

http://www.kleinpad.com/picture_gallery/Army/images/SFC%20Hyde%20Karl%20Malone%20Darin.jpg

Another way Evil can win over San Antonio is to make a WWF appearance. There's nothing San Antonio loves more than seeing someone beat down, even if it is the 'sport' which Whottt insists is real.

http://www.canoe.ca/WrestlingImagesB/bash3.jpg

Finally, the key for Evil to be accepted by San Antonio de Bexar is to **** around with the Coyote as much as possible. After Saint David, the Coyote is the most revered character in Spurs fandom. This means doing a lot of timeout and end of quarter skits, appearing in ads with the Coyote to sell tickets, and of course,

http://www.spursinfo.com/photos/coyote/coyote_11.jpghttp://www.nrawinningteam.com/9911/malone.jpghttp://espn.go.com/winnercomm/outdoors/hunting/i/P2_h_fea_buck_Malone.jpg

...take the Coyote hunting and have it filmed. That's right. Evil and the Coyote love their guns and they love delicious dead critters. What better way to connect with the season ticket base than by showing your love for spending a weekend out drinking beer, shooting the shit with your buddies, and perhaps even managing to bag something? Perhaps they could invite Greg Simmons along and then conveniently "lose" him. Evil would win over San Antonio in a heartbeat.

http://www.lancasterfontana.com/images/combo01-5.jpg

timvp
09-17-2004, 03:37 PM
I'm sure the Spurs have something like this in mind. His wife would have season tickets next to Saint David and fam.

:shootme

Useruser666
09-17-2004, 03:44 PM
Maybe he could ride into town in a big rig with his name on the side. He could even drive his own here! I think he should invite timvp to dinner at Malone's home. :)

Useruser666 :eyebrow

ducks
09-17-2004, 04:06 PM
maybe timvp and him can get their picture together and put in on tv:wink

timvp
09-17-2004, 04:13 PM
No, I do not want to be a part of the numerous halftime specials dedicated to the Warrior.

T Park Num 9
09-17-2004, 04:28 PM
if the fans cant root for the guy cause bringing him in means bringing home a championship.

Then the fans deserve to be stupid, but Spurs fans are naturally dumb.


Hell, some are probobly still calling up Don Harris wondering when "Pop is gonna play Kerr"

ducks
09-17-2004, 04:45 PM
if he does nothing for the spurs he will not get halftime speeches in his favor. they will be the ones that are playing well.
if dave robinson wants him here then why not fans?

KoriEllis
09-17-2004, 04:50 PM
timvp hating him doesn't have anything to do with David Robinson or Malone being dirty.

Useruser666
09-17-2004, 04:56 PM
We can get one of those cut outs where there is a life size Malone standing next to a guys body with the hole cut out for you to put your head through. Then timvp can stand behind the cut out at put his head through for the "Get your picture with the Spurs' savior!" commemorative photo. I would pay 5 bucks for that.

I still say it would be funny to see Malone in a Spurs jersey. Kori would know what to get him for Christmas! :lol

Useruser666 :eyebrow