Your Thoughts: Dispute With Neighbor

[PM5K]

So long story shorter, my neighbor comes over to my house and knocks on my door, she asks if she can speak with me and I say yes, she then proceeds to tell me about something that my child (who recently turned five) was doing, she asked me to talk to him or tell him to stop or something like that, and I agreed, she then proceeded to threaten my son by saying that if I didn't (Even though I had already told her I would talk to him) she would escalate the matter with someone else, which annoyed me and I responded by saying something like, whatever, or telling her to go ahead and do it.

Now during that conversation she said she had my son on videotape (she accused him of kicking the fence while the dogs were on the other side) so I went to her house a few minutes later to ask to see the tape, so that I could punish my son appropriately depending on exactly what I saw on the tape.

Now the dispute here isn't about why she came over, it's about the fact that her husband was upset with me for going over to his house while he wasn't there.

I don't agree with his logic that it's okay for his wife to come over here, but it's not okay for me to go over there.

I wasn't rude or threatening when I went over, I simply asked to see the tape, she said no and that she was going to take it up with someone else, and for me to leave, and I said okay and left.

The thing is, she came over here, she's not some frail, soft spoken woman, and to be quite honest I doubt she's afraid of me in the least, and when I went over to her house a few minutes after she came to mine, she freely opened the door after seeing I was out there.

So if you read all this, thoughts?

[admiralsnackbar]

She's in the wrong, but it's best to let that shit go, brother.

[PM5K]

She's in the wrong, but it's best to let that shit go, brother.

It really has been let go, at the end of the conversation I told her husband that while I didn't think it made sense, I would agree not to come over unless he was there. Even though I didn't say it, what I should have said was that if I can't go over when he's not there, that I don't want her coming over at all, and that if they have an issue they need to bring up with me that he's the one that needs to do it.

I never have a problem when I talk to her husband, but whenever I talk to her it winds up turning into more than it should be because of her attitude.

I'm just asking this now because I'm trying to see if there's something I'm missing here, because it generally seems that these people think there should be special rules FOR them, but those same rules don't have to apply TO them.

[tp2021]

Even though I didn't say it, what I should have said was that if I can't go over when he's not there, that I don't want her coming over at all, and that if they have an issue they need to bring up with me that he's the one that needs to do it.


Should have done that. If you still need to see the tape, then you can still do this.

[desflood]

Have them both come over and bring the tape. Invite a neutral third party (maybe another neighbor?). Everybody can view it together and hash out what (if any) discipline would be appropriate.

[CubanMustGo]

Great neighbors. Don't know why some people need to be such pricks about little things like this, obviously he's insecure as hell and doesn't trust his wife.

[tp2021]

Have them both come over and bring the tape. Invite a neutral third party (maybe another neighbor?). Everybody can view it together and hash out what (if any) discipline would be appropriate.

I think that puts the 3rd neighbor in an awkward position if the other 3 adults present can't come to some sort of agreement.

[I. Hustle]

She wants that angry sex dude. The husband knows his wife is a freak that is why he got pissed.

[PM5K]

Hindsight is 20/20. It's something that I had already realized, but that even more obvious as I sat there and discussed the same issue with him that I'd discussed with his wife, and did so without any problems. If I can have that conversation with him, it's clear to me that SHE's the problem, not me and certainly not him. I should have said that but I didn't really think about the whole situation until later.

As for needing to see the tape, I figured I wasn't going to so I punished him based on what I knew. I would have rather known then if it was worse than I imagined or not as bad, but I had to just decide it was in the middle.

[PM5K]

I don't need anyone else to see any tape or agree or disagree with anything, I'm the only person that can decide what punishment is appropriate, I'm assuming you don't have children?

I already punished him, when they are that age you really want to get to it while they still know and remember what they did.

[desflood]

I think that puts the 3rd neighbor in an awkward position if the other 3 adults present can't come to some sort of agreement.
That's a good point, but I was thinking about the third neighbor being more of a witness than moderator. Since the husband and wife obviously have an issue or two, if they become aggressive in any way, it probably wouldn't escalate nearly as far with somebody else present.

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

Who the fuck tapes a 5 year old kicking a fence?

[PM5K]

Who the fuck tapes a 5 year old kicking a fence?

She claims he was doing more than that, but they also claimed a few other things that were hard to nearly impossible to believe, but that's not really the point of the question.

It's really just about if it makes sense that she can come over here, but I can't go over there a few minutes afterwards because her husband wasn't home.

[I. Hustle]

Just tell your life partner to take care of your adopted cambodian kid and go take care of the neighbors wife. Just close your eyes and pretend she's a guy, she might even let you stick it in her pooper to make you feel better.












lol

[Viva Las Espuelas]

So when she came over did she go in your house or did y'all just talk outside? That being said I would never go over to a neighbors house when the husband isn't there. You're just setting yourself up no matter what your intentions are. Better to be safe then sorry.

[PM5K]

Well you're a dick here so I hope the HOA/your neighbors kicks you out on your ass. :)

I don't even know who you are...

[PM5K]

So when she came over did she go in your house or did y'all just talk outside? That being said I would never go over to a neighbors house when the husband isn't there. You're just setting yourself up no matter what your intentions are. Better to be safe then sorry.

She stood outside, I stood in the doorway.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have gone over there first, we're talking about going over there after she'd already been over here, what's the difference?

[I. Hustle]

Well I like dick, so I wish I was your neighbor so you could put it in my ass. :)

Look dude I was kidding about his life partner stuff. PM5K is straight and not into dudes.

[PM5K]

Look dude I was kidding about his life partner stuff. PM5K is straight and not into dudes.

I see what you did there...

[DisgruntledLionFan#54,927]

She claims he was doing more than that, but they also claimed a few other things that were hard to nearly impossible to believe, but that's not really the point of the question.

It's really just about if it makes sense that she can come over here, but I can't go over there a few minutes afterwards because her husband wasn't home.

No, it doesn't, but do you really care?

This makes one less person, the wife, you have to deal with in the future.

Consider it a blessing.

[CosmicCowboy]

You just need to have a beer with them.
http://renovomedia.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/0730beer2.jpg

[Viva Las Espuelas]

She stood outside, I stood in the doorway.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have gone over there first, we're talking about going over there after she'd already been over here, what's the difference?

............but you went inside. Or did you view the tape from the door?

[PM5K]

............but you went inside. Or did you view the tape from the door?

Didn't go inside, never saw the tape.

[I. Hustle]

I will go ahead and ask the question that has been overlooked. Is this bitch hot?

[PM5K]

I will go ahead and ask the question that has been overlooked. Is this bitch hot?

Nope. You think we'd be having this discussion if she was?

[I. Hustle]

Nope. You think we'd be having this discussion if she was?

Then why is hubby all pissed? He should know his wife is a woofer. Next time I would be right next to my kid kicking the fence with him.

[bus driver]

maybe the lady neighbor wanted wanted you to "settle" it with her :eyebrows

but for a small fee we can make sure the dog "runs away" :makemyday

[Viva Las Espuelas]

Didn't go inside, never saw the tape.

Ah. Well then yeah. They're just stupid. No harm no foul. This is when you kill them with kindness.

[RGMCSE]

This thread reminds me of the Deer hunter scene in the movie Jarhead.

"Who's fucking around now?"



Rob

[Soul_Patch]

Who the hell has "tapes" of anything anymore?


"let me pop that shit into my VCR...oh do you mind waiting 20 minutes while it rewinds?"

[PM5K]

Who the hell has "tapes" of anything anymore?


"let me pop that shit into my VCR...oh do you mind waiting 20 minutes while it rewinds?"

Maybe it's like how people tell other people to roll down their window, they do the circular motion, even though most people have power windows nowadays.

Personally I have a tapeless camera but I could see myself saying I had something on tape, rather than say: I have your son on video in AVCHD format in 1080P stored on a 40GB hard drive.

LOL

[Sportcamper]

Does it not occur to anyone that kicking a fence at barking dogs is what a normal healthy young boy is going to do? You punished your son for being a guy? Put your beer down PMK, get off the internet & go play kickball with your son…When the ball rolls to the fence give the fence a good kick yourself...

[RGMCSE]

Does it not occur to anyone that kicking a fence at barking dogs is what a normal healthy young boy is going to do? You punished your son for being a guy? Put your beer down PMK, get off the internet & go play kickball with your son…When the ball rolls to the fence give the fence a good kick yourself...


I agree, who hasnt kicked a fence at barking dogs. It's like a normal thing to do when your a normal boy. It's in our nature. Fuck your geighbors.


Rob

[Bigzax]

you should have asked him if he had video of you at his house.

and if so, you'd like to see it.

[koriwhat]

should've told the bitch to fuck off and told her pos husband the same, then go to their fence and kick the living shit out of it. remember this, their fence is also your fence if it's a divider. yep! kick that shit til it falls down!

[PM5K]

Does it not occur to anyone that kicking a fence at barking dogs is what a normal healthy young boy is going to do? You punished your son for being a guy? Put your beer down PMK, get off the internet & go play kickball with your son…When the ball rolls to the fence give the fence a good kick yourself...

There was more to it than that, at least they claimed, but again that's not the point of the thread. I will say however that they claimed he was grabbing them by their paws through the fence, holding them there, and then kicking them. They also claimed that he broke one of the dogs paws by pulling it down while it was going through the fence.

Now I don't know how true any of that is. This lady is the same person that shit a brick because three times in five years some grass clippings from my yard got on her driveway. Now she claims all of this and not only that but that they've had to spend over 6K in vet bills and they didn't bother to mention it, but they did bitch about grass clippings, yeah right.

She also claimed that a kid was holding my older son and would sort of push him out into the street while still holding him when a car would drive by, she claimed that she told his grandmother and her response was that she didn't want to get involved. Now I've known this woman (my mother in-law) for almost 15 years, she asks her 40 year old son to call her when she gets home to make sure he's okay after he leaves her house. She probably cares about our children almost as much as we do, so that's something she NEVER would have said.

So at the end of the day who knows, but I'm sure he was at least kicking the fence while the dogs were right there on the other side, and I'm not going to say it's a big deal, but I'd rather raise my son to be kind to animals, it's always the psychos that are out there killing cats and shit.

[I. Hustle]

If you want I have a 6 year old and a very tough little 16 month old that will help your kid kick the fance. The 16 month ol dis a terror and she will probably kick the neighbors ass too.

[PM5K]

And I do agree that kicking the fence is normal, even if you're a lot older than having just turned five. That's actually what I told my wife right after, before she made any other accusations. and I surmised that the very reason one would do that is because you aren't really kicking the dog, I've actually done it in fact.

So let's say there's a dog incessantly barking at you, you kick the fence to burn off your irritation at the dog, but it's not a big deal because you're kicking the fence, and not the dog, and fences are generally pretty taught so even if you're a grown man, and not a child, you aren't going to get the fence to move a whole lot anyway.

He had also gotten in trouble before for feeding them. Again not a big deal, regardless of what they try to say they have six dogs and they are all muts, but if someone asks you not to do something, and it's their animal, you should listen and stop feeding them cheetos and shit. So the combination of this, and that, and not being totally sure just how bad it was, he did get into some trouble for it.

[RGMCSE]

This kind of shit drives me fucking bananas dude. So their pissed that your 5 year old is fucking with the dogs. But fuck, you can be just as pissed that their dogs are always provoking your son. It's a two way fucking street. If you really want to nip this shit in the bud, Privacy fence that side of your yard at least. Then they cant claim shit. Not to mention they cant "tape" shit either. Assholes, I could get all kinds of devious on this type of thing. But ultimately you want peace at the home front.


Rob

[I. Hustle]

To be fair your kids do look like troublemakers.
http://www.sojones.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/gangster6.jpg

[mrsmaalox]

Stupid neighbor bullshit. That woman is a manipulative bitch. She went over to have words with you herself, because she has removed her husband's balls and keeps them in her pocket for situations just like this. So when you went back to her house, it PISSED her off that your wife has not neutered you yet. Then when her husband got home, she shreiked for an hour about the nerve of you coming over, knowing that he was not home and how threatening it was to her. Her wimp husband, knows that you are not nearly as scary as this raging psycho bitch but exists in survival mode and will do anything, ANYTHING to shut her up, which he accomplishes by asking to borrow his, er her balls, and then going over to your house to straighten things out.

Ashholes! I live next to them too.

[PM5K]

I did consider putting up a privacy fence, but at the end of the day I'm not trying to piss anyone off even though it seems she's trying her best to piss me off. I considered calling animal control on them because there is a limit of five dogs, and they have at least six. I also considered calling the police and telling them my neighbor is taping my son, I know it's not illegal because he's in public, but I figured I could say I don't know why she's doing it and that I'm concerned for my sons safety. Finally the fence, it would limit their visibility in my direction and I'd imagine they wouldn't be happy about it, so in the end I wouldn't do any of those things because I'm not trying to start shit with people.

[PM5K]

Stupid neighbor bullshit. That woman is a manipulative bitch. She went over to have words with you herself, because she has removed her husband's balls and keeps them in her pocket for situations just like this. So when you went back to her house, it PISSED her off that your wife has not neutered you yet. Then when her husband got home, she shreiked for an hour about the nerve of you coming over, knowing that he was not home and how threatening it was to her. Her wimp husband, knows that you are not nearly as scary as this raging psycho bitch but exists in survival mode and will do anything, ANYTHING to shut her up, which he accomplishes by asking to borrow his, er her balls, and then going over to your house to straighten things out.

Ashholes! I live next to them too.

I'd think you were the neighbor on the other side if I didn't know them too.

[BacktoBasics]

Nothing to see here. If she threatens you again I'd call the cops and possibly file a restraining order for harassment.

I just skimmed but did I read that some other kid was dangling your 5 year old out in the street? You let your kid play outside unattended? Like I said I just skimmed but it didn't sound too good.

[PM5K]

Nothing to see here. If she threatens you again I'd call the cops and possibly file a restraining order for harassment.

I just skimmed but did I read that some other kid was dangling your 5 year old out in the street? You let your kid play outside unattended? Like I said I just skimmed but it didn't sound too good.

No that's the almost twelve year old.

[Soul_Patch]

Maybe it's like how people tell other people to roll down their window, they do the circular motion, even though most people have power windows nowadays.

Personally I have a tapeless camera but I could see myself saying I had something on tape, rather than say: I have your son on video in AVCHD format in 1080P stored on a 40GB hard drive.

LOL

touche

[PM5K]

To be fair your kids do look like troublemakers.
http://www.sojones.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/gangster6.jpg

Nah, this is the troublemaker in question:

http://img718.imageshack.us/img718/3779/1003905.jpg

[mrsmaalox]

Hey do those neighbors have kids? Or are they the ones who hate kids, but bought a house in the middle of a block where every house has kids and the priority of everyone is to raise normal, happy kids?

[PM5K]

Hey do those neighbors have kids? Or are they the ones who hate kids, but bought a house in the middle of a block where every house has kids and the priority of everyone is to raise normal, happy kids?

They do have kids. That's at least part of what puzzles me, you'd think they would understand that children aren't born knowing everything they should and shouldn't do, or knowing the consequences of doing something wrong, and you can't teach them everything at birth, so often times you have to teach them after they've done something wrong, and sometimes, especially at that age, you have to tell them more than once.

They have an eighteen year old daughter, and a nine or ten year old son.

[BacktoBasics]

I think you handled yourself pretty well. I don't respond well to threats and it seems to me that she was using some kind of so called "proof" as leverage to get underneath your skin. Either you show the tape because you're a neighbor with concerns or you simply serve as a notice of whats going on in a non-threatening manor. She choose neither. I would have verbally assaulted her in a way that her husband would have surely been offended.

Then it would be game on.

[Sportcamper]

PMK- Seriously…I applaud you for not losing your temper with this person…It is always better to take the high road…But maybe your neighbor should put up a dog run so your son can have a normal childhood & their dogs will be safe…The husband is obviously just intimated by your manliness & does not want his wife to be alone with you…

Some one posted years ago...I think it was Cosmic Cowboy’s Dad who had this small yipping dog…His neighbor got this huge rooster to harass the dog…The rooster stuck his head through the chain link fence to get at the yipping dog…The dog bit the rosters head off…This has nothing to do with your situation…I just love stories with happy endings…

[PM5K]

So you're saying I should buy Little Jerry, or two?

[mrsmaalox]

I don't know guys, I think that a dog who is in his own yard, behind a fence should not be messed with at all, no matter what he is doing. Kids like to tease dogs ie "kick fences" because they feel safe that the dog cannot get at them. Normal kid behavior that is easily corrected. Seems to me that PM5K gets that point and is acting on it by working with his kid. That's it, no retaliation has to occur because, as they say "You can't fix stupid". These people are idiots and will not stop so escalating the whole thing with more threats and revenge is not gonna help anything. So now PM5K knows what stupidity they are capable of and his best defense is just stay the hell away, teach your kids to stay the hell away. Next time either of them come to the door, step outside to the driveway to talk to them, be reasonable and send them on their way. This woman wants to be able to bully you into reacting on her terms--which are irrational.

[RandomGuy]

It really has been let go, at the end of the conversation I told her husband that while I didn't think it made sense, I would agree not to come over unless he was there. Even though I didn't say it, what I should have said was that if I can't go over when he's not there, that I don't want her coming over at all, and that if they have an issue they need to bring up with me that he's the one that needs to do it.

I never have a problem when I talk to her husband, but whenever I talk to her it winds up turning into more than it should be because of her attitude.

I'm just asking this now because I'm trying to see if there's something I'm missing here, because it generally seems that these people think there should be special rules FOR them, but those same rules don't have to apply TO them.

Sounds like you live next to a couple of idiots.

People love to get all morally outraged about stupid shit like this. I think we as a society are addicted to moral outrage. It's as if we can absolve our own faults somehow by being judgmental assholes.

Blech.

[ploto]

The lady is ridiculous. Your 5 year old did not break some dog's paw.

And what- you are supposed to know whether or not the husband is home before you ring the doorbell??

[pawe]

You live beside idiots who are so stressed out in life that they are even willing to pick a fight over something so natural like a 5 yr old kid just having fun. And they are dumbasses because they have double standards when it comes to rights of people going over other people's houses.

I applaud you for not escalating the problem and not making a mcmountain out of a mcmolehill.

[mookie2001]

Another reason why people shouldn't own so many damn dogs


All they do is cause problems

[Shaolin-Style]

Our neighbors have kids who kicked at our dogs and threw things at them and we taped it a couple of times too. Probably around the same age. So I know how truly irritating it is and how disrespected you can feel especially after you've told the kids and the parents and it continues. We caved in and just built a privacy fence to prevent it from escalating further especially with our new small chihuahua we let in our backyard sometimes.

The husband though reacted like an insecure douchebag. The "Taking it up with someone else" is a baseless threat. Really all she can do is hope you take responsibility and teach your kid not to kick at her dog.


g9fIjYnPazc