Why are kids brainwashed into believing that they can do anything. . .?

[Jacob1983]

as long as they work hard and do their best? Why do elders, adults, teachers, and parents brainwash kids into believing that they can do anything as long as they work hard and do their best? What's the logic behind this? I think telling kids that they can do anything or be anything as long as they work hard and do their best will give them a rude awakening later in life. It gives kids an unrealistic outlook on life and gives them false hope if you ask me. I just don't get get why parents lie to their kids like that. It doesn't make sense. Not everyone gets to be what they wanted to be. Your life doesn't always turn like you had imagined it to be.

[Slydragon]

You are correct, we should just give them a gun and tell them life will suck and to end it. :shootme

:stfu

WTF are you going to tell a kid then? Give them some kind of hope, Hell I'll tell my daughter she can go to Saturn if she wanted to. Will that happen? Not really but as a kid she can dream and fantasize about it.

Same shit with Santa and tooth fairy because once you know they are fake the magics gone and Xmas doesn't feel the same. Let me worry about the bills now and let her be a child for as long as she can, Because now a days it's seems cool to act older and that's why we have punk ass 10 + years old doing stupid shit instead of playing in the yard.

[mavs>spurs2]

what the fuck is the OP's problem? :wtf

[marini martini]

as long as they work hard and do their best? Why do elders, adults, teachers, and parents brainwash kids into believing that they can do anything as long as they work hard and do their best? What's the logic behind this? I think telling kids that they can do anything or be anything as long as they work hard and do their best will give them a rude awakening later in life. It gives kids an unrealistic outlook on life and gives them false hope if you ask me. I just don't get get why parents lie to their kids like that. It doesn't make sense. Not everyone gets to be what they wanted to be. Your life doesn't always turn like you had imagined it to be.

mouse's "I need a place for me and Sophie to live" thread!:rolleyes


You are correct, we should just give them a gun and tell them life will suck and to end it. :shootme

:stfu

WTF are you going to tell a kid then? Give them some kind of hope, Hell I'll tell my daughter she can go to Saturn if she wanted to. Will that happen? Not really but as a kid she can dream and fantasize about it.

Same shit with Santa and tooth fairy because once you know they are fake the magics gone and Xmas doesn't feel the same. Let me worry about the bills now and let her be a child for as long as she can, Because now a days it's seems cool to act older and that's why we have punk ass 10 + years old doing stupid shit instead of playing in the yard.

WoW! Awesome Blossom post!!!:toast

/thread

[Jacob1983]

I usually tell kids to enjoy their youth because once they become adults, the fun ends. How does lying to kids about their futures give them hope? It seems like it would give them false hope.

[sabar]

Because its true. If everyone settled and adult life sucked, then I would think that suicides wouldn't be so low among adults (meanwhile its the 3rd leading cause of death in kids).

[Rogue]

to the drastic contrary what worries me more is kids being instilled the thought that they cannot do anything. you need to set a barrier for kids to prevent them doing anything that may cause serious troubles, while within the tolerated radium they should be free and encouraged to do whatever they enjoy IMHO.

[Shaolin-Style]

Because parents believe in their kids and want to encourage them and make them happy and hopeful about their future. They'll come to the realization if their dreams were too extraordinary eventually, and won't think bad of their parents for that. Probably helps them psychologically that their parents believe they can do something that is really hard to do rather than the ops view that kids should shoot low.

[timvp]

And I thought that the Spurs forum was emo right now . . .

[angel_luv]

I think the only time parents fail their kids is to tell the kids they can do anything WITHOUT teaching them skills necessary to succeed- skills like people skills, diligence, committment, respect etc.

A kid should understand that to acheive greatness like David Robinson they will need to have the great character and have the work ethic that David Robinson has.
And kids should know that if they do develop great character and have a great work ethic, that anything IS possible for them.

I also believe that kids need to be raised in the wisdom and knowledge of God because it is through God that all things are possible.

[clambake]

maybe your own, personal situation is a bit off "target".

[I. Hustle]

I usually tell kids to enjoy their youth because once they become adults, the fun ends. How does lying to kids about their futures give them hope? It seems like it would give them false hope.

You must not have kids. You will never understand until you look at YOUR child and see all the potential in the world. When you look into her/his eyes and think to yourself, wow if she/he puts her mind to it they CAN do anything. It's as much for us as it is for them. Why in the world would someone look at their child and say "yeah she's going to be stuck working at WalMart"? You would have to be a moron to not want the very best for your child and help them to believe that if they work hard and do their best that they can do anything.
If it wasn't true then we wouldn't have presidents, astronauts, pro ball players, etc.
So eff you, you emo asshole that is upset because you didn't become a cowboy that worked on the moon as a space policeman.

[Bigzax]

i guess somebody just saw fightclub for the first time...

[I. Hustle]

i guess somebody just saw fightclub for the first time...

:lol

[clambake]

i wonder if david robinson had anything else going for him.

[coyotes_geek]

as long as they work hard and do their best? Why do elders, adults, teachers, and parents brainwash kids into believing that they can do anything as long as they work hard and do their best? What's the logic behind this? I think telling kids that they can do anything or be anything as long as they work hard and do their best will give them a rude awakening later in life. It gives kids an unrealistic outlook on life and gives them false hope if you ask me. I just don't get get why parents lie to their kids like that. It doesn't make sense. Not everyone gets to be what they wanted to be. Your life doesn't always turn like you had imagined it to be.

Because not all kids grow up to be bitter little bitches upset at the world for not giving them some bliss filled life they feel entitled to have. Believe it or not, some kids actually take that message of being able to do anything and turn it into a fulfilling adulthood.

[panic giraffe]

because its true.

hard-work and dedication will make you achieve anything. you just have to be focused enough to get what you want. unless you're born rich, nothing will come easy, just keep trying.

but i think better advise for the young ones is, do what makes you happy and the money will follow, don't just take an hourly and hope that it'll lead to bigger and better things.that shit it is soul sucking. find something that makes you happy, pursue it, and even if you have to start at the bottom, the endgame will be worth it.

now give me a hug.

[Bigzax]

i disagree...

just advising to 'find something that will make you happy' theory leads to alot of college kids graduating with useless art degrees...

find something that your good at that will get you paid.

then find your hobby that will make you happy in your spare time.


work is work...that's why they call it work.

[panic giraffe]

my point is, its hard to be motivated to get good at something unless you like what you do.
if you love what you do, then its not only your paycheck, but hobby as well.

and the useless art degrees happen because theres no voice of reason to say, well don't forget to double major in business management or you'll be a broke artist....

[The Gemini Method]

I only had my parents give me positive reimbursement growing up, and I managed to avoid the pratfalls my fellow neighborhood friends did. I achieved so much though, on the back of doubters saying I wouldn't finish high school or go to college that I believe that sometimes praise isn't the only thing a kid needs to be motivated by. Also, I understand that not many can take a negative and make it into a positive. I can still remember my first counselor telling me that I wouldn't make it in college and that I should really consider learning a trade or joining the military. While I think both those ideas are noble ideas to believe in, I don't like the fact that someone who is supposed to inspire you to reach new heights, would stoop to the level of discrediting the possibilities of a young mind.

[ashbeeigh]

I just think the guy needs to get laid.

[angel_luv]

I only had my parents give me positive reimbursement growing up, and I managed to avoid the pratfalls my fellow neighborhood friends did. I achieved so much though, on the back of doubters saying I wouldn't finish high school or go to college that I believe that sometimes praise isn't the only thing a kid needs to be motivated by. Also, I understand that not many can take a negative and make it into a positive. I can still remember my first counselor telling me that I wouldn't make it in college and that I should really consider learning a trade or joining the military. While I think both those ideas are noble ideas to believe in, I don't like the fact that someone who is supposed to inspire you to reach new heights, would stoop to the level of discrediting the possibilities of a young mind.


It is likely you are able to take negatives and turn them into positives because your parents were such positive influences in your life.
Because your parents built a strong foundation of self confidence in your life, you don't get shaken up or broken down by haters.

Good for them and good for you! :tu

[z0sa]

Kids should just be forced into their father's trade medieval style

[JoeChalupa]

Some work at what they can or have to provide for their families but I'd much rather be doing something at I enjoy than have to do something I don't just for the money but it doesn't always work out that way.
My oldest loves choir and all but she knows that she probably may not find a job that pays her what she wants in that field but I still encourage her in all her choir activities but she hasn't found her true calling yet and probably won't for a few years yet.
I still tell both my girls that they should go for what they want but that yeah, life has setbacks but not to give up.

[baseline bum]

http://site.despair.com/images/dpage/incompetence.jpg

Seriously, I think people's brains are all programmed differently from birth. For example, I have always been pretty good picking up mathematical things and drawing diagrams and such to make things understandable, but no matter how hard I try, I suck at picking up a language. By far, the hardest I ever studied in school was when I took an "easy" Spanish class, and I only got a B+ out of it. So you can be anything with hard work is a bit ridiculous to me, but not you can be something with hard work.

[angel_luv]

So you can be anything with hard work is a bit ridiculous to me, but not you can be something with hard work.

That is a very good point.

[panic giraffe]

I just think the guy needs to get laid.

well help him out then.

[z0sa]

hey ash if you're 'taking callers' let me know :downspin:

[The Gemini Method]

It is likely you are able to take negatives and turn them into positives because your parents were such positive influences in your life.
Because your parents built a strong foundation of self confidence in your life, you don't get shaken up or broken down by haters.

Good for them and good for you! :tu

Yeah, it was an interesting paradigm with my parents. My late father was old school Asian, so failure and fooling around were not allowed. However, as I grew older and was achieving things, he soften up his stance a little bit. He passed away the semester I was going to graduate from college, so he missed out on that in this world--hopefully he saw the end result. My mother, on the other hand, was always the one who kept me chasing the dream. She never went to college and only had a high school diploma (a stay at home mom...), but she was wise in the way of how life is supposed to be lived. For the most part, they both kept installing the idea that being positive and able to succeed is not impossible for anyone. That there are other alternatives to joining a gang or doing the sometimes easy, but wrong things as a child. So I owe alot of gratitude to my parents and I'm a big believer that without some positive reinforcement, a child doesn't have the sense of direction.

[desflood]

I'll tell you why:

I have a son who is a whiz with legos. Buildings, spaceships, neighborhoods, you name it, that boy can design and build it. He's a pretty bright kid, and I'd like to see him in college for engineering or architecture someday. If I didn't tell him he could do it he'd probably end up like my dad, breaking his back in construction for years until his body gives out and leaves him broke and searching for a new career at 40 or 50.

[ashbeeigh]

well help him out then.

Have i ever told you how much I love you?

[ploto]

I understand a little what the OP is saying. I had a parent tell me this week that her daughter is going to be a pediatrician. I am sorry but she made a 20 on the last chemistry test. How is she going to get into medical school?

[0rion]

Hey Juggs, I need some help too.

[Jacob1983]

I just think that if you tell a kid that they can do anything or be anything that it has the possibility of bringing disappointment to them when they're older. Why would you want to disappoint a kid like that? That stuff can mess them up in the head.

[baseline bum]

Think of it this way: when you take your first physics class, they don't throw LaGrangians and the Principle of Least Action at you (even at MIT or IIT). You're not doing variational problems in your first mechanics class. They don't start throwing the more accurate theories like Quantum Mechanics at you right away. You'd die in this hypothetical first class unless you had the IQ of Einstein. They teach it by bits and pieces, because the big picture is way too complex to understand without some experience with the easier things first.

Similarly, you can't tell a kid "well, you'll never be that fighter pilot because of your four-eyes", because he's not going to see the big picture and why he should be getting As in his science class. He's not going to see he could be a kickass electrical engineer pulling 6 figures in 15-20 years if he keeps working hard and doing well. The world is too complex to be able to tell a kid the whole truth right away.

[MannyIsGod]

Completely agree with OP. Its stupid. I don't think there's one reason that people do it but there's several I can think of.

Pride for one. People actually do think their kids can do anything. They can't of course. No amount of hard work is going to make Jeremy into a track star and no amount of hard work is going to make your kid with an IQ of 83 into a physicist. But of course you think they're oh so incredible and your sperm (or egg - whatever) surely made a child capable of inventing the (better) wheel.

I also think people can't deal with telling their kids the truth. Its giving them hope to tell them they can be ANYTHING when in reality they can't. We're not a very honest society - we prefer grandeur. Look at how many people buy into the American dream bullshit or how many people blow money on lotto tickets (OMG I COUDL BE THE ONE OMG WITH HARD WORK I CAN BE BILL GATES).

Actually the more I think about it the more its really just the so called American dream in another form.

[MannyIsGod]

Think of it this way: when you take your first physics class, they don't throw LaGrangians and the Principle of Least Action at you (even at MIT or IIT). You're not doing variational problems in your first mechanics class. They don't start throwing the more accurate theories like Quantum Mechanics at you right away. You'd die in this hypothetical first class unless you had the IQ of Einstein. They teach it by bits and pieces, because the big picture is way too complex to understand without some experience with the easier things first.

Similarly, you can't tell a kid "well, you'll never be that fighter pilot because of your four-eyes", because he's not going to see the big picture and why he should be getting As in his science class. He's not going to see he could be a kickass electrical engineer pulling 6 figures in 15-20 years if he keeps working hard and doing well. The world is too complex to be able to tell a kid the whole truth right away.

Don't think you're giving kids enough credit.

[baseline bum]

Don't think you're giving kids enough credit.

Well, I'm not talking about someone in jr high or high school or something. All that American dream 'you're gonna be a millionaire' horseshit should be long dead by then.

[SpursWoman]

I don't think there's anything wrong with delaying the inevitable bitterness and pessimism that comes with the reality of age and experience. If your 3 year old little girl wants to be a movie star, then that's what she'll be. Kids have the attention span of a gnat ... what they want to be when they grow up is going to change 6463213546320 times.

They are just kids, for crissakes. Humor them.

Now that my little 3 year old movie star is a 14 year old freshman in high school, she has more realistic *dreams* of being an architect or an engineer. With her skill set it's a very attainable goal, that she can achieve with hard work and determination.

If your child is 32 and still living in your basement whose biggest dream is scraping up enough cash for a pizza and an extra wireless controller, I'd very vocally discourage that. :lol

[gatoloco]

completely agree with the OP.

the parenting in this movie is much better.


rx-3jYJkUWQ

[gatoloco]

you tell your kids they can be anything they want to be because you love them.

you also raise them to be aware of the reality of the world.

then you let them make their choices.

[JoeChalupa]

I just think that if you tell a kid that they can do anything or be anything that it has the possibility of bringing disappointment to them when they're older. Why would you want to disappoint a kid like that? That stuff can mess them up in the head.

I think some of you take this too literally or think your kids will. I encourage my kids every single day to strive for their goals and dreams. Will there be disapointment and failures along the way? Sure there will be but that doesn't mean they should give or just settle for less.
I also think too much emphasis these days in all the all mighty dollar and seeing how many figures one can pull in. For me it is never about the money or fame but doing what makes them feel good be happy. I know many couples and individuals who making 6 figures but that doesn't mean they are happy with their lives or where they are in life.
If being disapointed about ones accomplishments or lack of is going to mess with their head that I think they have to learn that life will always have its ups and downs but hope is a good thing...maybe the best of things.
Every parent needs to make their own decisions and no two parents are alike at least that has been my experience.
I've also learned that not giving your child encouragement or hope doesn't help at all. I encourage mine to try their best and if they enjoy it then fine but just because they may not be the next Michael Jordan doesn't mean they shouldn't play basketball or the next Einstein doesn't mean they should not take physics. Learning and growing from ones failures or disapointments is a good thing. Never trying is a bad thing, IMO.

[JoeChalupa]

you tell your kids they can be anything they want to be because you love them.

you also raise them to be aware of the reality of the world.

then you let them make their choices.

I concur. :tu

[JoeChalupa]

I can understand the OP's point of view but don't agree that it is brainwashing. But that is just me.

[exstatic]

as long as they work hard and do their best? Why do elders, adults, teachers, and parents brainwash kids into believing that they can do anything as long as they work hard and do their best? What's the logic behind this? I think telling kids that they can do anything or be anything as long as they work hard and do their best will give them a rude awakening later in life. It gives kids an unrealistic outlook on life and gives them false hope if you ask me. I just don't get get why parents lie to their kids like that. It doesn't make sense. Not everyone gets to be what they wanted to be. Your life doesn't always turn like you had imagined it to be.

Because, unless you're mentally deficient, you can do almost anything, if you work hard enough. That's the part most people forget. They just stop at the dreaming and imagining.

[Whisky Dog]

I see your point, but I've always thought the real crime is what our society programs us with bullshit that fucks up our relationships. Since we're little, (especially women) are programed with all this Disney fairy tale bs about prince charming and all that jazz so they grow up subconsciously expecting a man to cater to their every need and pursue them and bring all this prince charming bs when it just isn't real. Relationships and co-existing peacefully and happily with another person has become the single hardest thing to manage because of all the societal brainwashing that takes place when you're young.

[I. Hustle]

It seems that the people that agree with the OP don't have kids. It's easy to say how you would feel or what you would do when you don't have kids.

I think it's hilarious how people tell you how you should raise kids when they themselves have never been a parent. "Oh but I have a dog and it is like my child" :lol

[spursncowboys]

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:sFAPapXEATUqyM:http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/southpark/images/d/dc/180px-Crab_people2.jpghttp://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/southpark/images/d/dc/180px-Crab_people2.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.neoseeker.com/forums/18/t1448246-loungins-crab-people-society/&usg=__OR9KPIZGT_1tBe_V8hvTJ-N-e8I=&h=214&w=179&sz=12&hl=en&start=3&sig2=xKjwti3mdyzlU7Ricrrwxw&um=1&itbs=1&tbnid=sFAPapXEATUqyM:&tbnh=106&tbnw=89&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dcrab%2Bpeople%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfi refox-a%26rls%3Dcom.ubuntu:en-US:official%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1&ei=PZptS8aWEIuutgeV-u2EBg

[spursncowboys]

It seems that the people that agree with the OP don't have kids. It's easy to say how you would feel or what you would do when you don't have kids.

I think it's hilarious how people tell you how you should raise kids when they themselves have never been a parent. "Oh but I have a dog and it is like my child" :lol
The dog one is always funny. After I say a story about my kids and they say "yeah thats just like my dog.." I just want to laugh.

[leemajors]

It seems that the people that agree with the OP don't have kids. It's easy to say how you would feel or what you would do when you don't have kids.

I think it's hilarious how people tell you how you should raise kids when they themselves have never been a parent. "Oh but I have a dog and it is like my child" :lol

Man, you're sensitive. You can't just tell your kids their dreams are pointless and that life sucks? They may cry, but shit happens.

[ploto]

Because, unless you're mentally deficient, you can do almost anything, if you work hard enough. That's the part most people forget. They just stop at the dreaming and imagining.

Often the dreams that kids are encouraged to hold onto are about natural talent that they simply do not have. I can't be an opera singer no matter how hard I work at it. I can't be a supermodel at 5'2".

[ploto]

It seems that the people that agree with the OP don't have kids. It's easy to say how you would feel or what you would do when you don't have kids.

I have a child. He knows that he can not be a professional athlete. He is fine with it. He knows that everyone has different gifts and that is not his. He can play sports for fun or comradery, but that is not his future.

[exstatic]

Often the dreams that kids are encouraged to hold onto are about natural talent that they simply do not have. I can't be an opera singer no matter how hard I work at it. I can't be a supermodel at 5'2".

Notice the word "almost" in my post. If there are 6 billion things to be, you can probably do 5,999,500,000 of them.

[CosmicCowboy]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with encouraging your kids set set high goals/expectations for themselves as long as you also counsel them on being prepared to do what it will take to live up to those expectations.

When my son was 16 and told me he wanted to be an attorney. I said...great!...but you understand that just being an attorney isn't enough, right? For every wealthy attorney you see there are 10 broke dick attorneys just barely scraping by and you don't want to be that guy. He agreed that he didn't want to be one of those guys scraping by doing wills and divorces...so we kind of laid out a plan to get where he wanted to go...scraping through St. Mary's wasn't gonna cut it...He shot for top Division I undergrad, Top 5 law school, law review, clerk for a federal judge, etc.

And that was great...I never again had to say "I want you to do this" or "I think you should do that"...

From then on, every time he started to get off track I would remind him that it was HIS dream, not mine. He kept the goals in mind with a few minor wobbles off track achieved everything he wanted to do.

[thispego]

you must not have kids. You will never understand until you look at your child and see all the potential in the world. When you look into her/his eyes and think to yourself, wow if she/he puts her mind to it they can do anything. It's as much for us as it is for them. Why in the world would someone look at their child and say "yeah she's going to be stuck working at walmart"? You would have to be a moron to not want the very best for your child and help them to believe that if they work hard and do their best that they can do anything.
If it wasn't true then we wouldn't have presidents, astronauts, pro ball players, etc.
So eff you, you emo asshole that is upset because you didn't become a cowboy that worked on the moon as a space policeman.

:lmao

[thispego]

i only had my parents give me positive reimbursement growing up, and i managed to avoid the pratfalls my fellow neighborhood friends did. I achieved so much though, on the back of doubters saying i wouldn't finish high school or go to college that i believe that sometimes praise isn't the only thing a kid needs to be motivated by. Also, i understand that not many can take a negative and make it into a positive. I can still remember my first counselor telling me that i wouldn't make it in college and that i should really consider learning a trade or joining the military. While i think both those ideas are noble ideas to believe in, i don't like the fact that someone who is supposed to inspire you to reach new heights, would stoop to the level of discrediting the possibilities of a young mind.

:lmao

[thispego]

i'll tell you why:

I have a son who is a whiz with legos. Buildings, spaceships, neighborhoods, you name it, that boy can design and build it. He's a pretty bright kid, and i'd like to see him in college for engineering or architecture someday. If i didn't tell him he could do it he'd probably end up like my dad, breaking his back in construction for years until his body gives out and leaves him broke and searching for a new career at 40 or 50.

:lmao sorry, but legos is not like engineering or architecture. There is not much design that goes into lego building.

[CosmicCowboy]

At the same time, parents have to be realistic. When my horse loving daughter that was just plain awful in math and science decided she wanted to be a Vet, I had to flat out tell her I didn't think she had the horsepower and testing skills to achieve that goal. The competition is just too tough. There are lots of dentists and doctors in Texas that did that because they couldn't get in vet school. Was I wrong? Shit, I don't know. I know I told her the truth.

[lil'mo]

Your daughter loves horses? You think she could ever love a cow? I'd treat her right. :eyebrows

[mavs>spurs2]

:lmao sorry, but legos is not like engineering or architecture. There is not much design that goes into lego building.

Dude you are a fucking DICK. A small child building something impressive is a good indicator that he is very bright and intelligent for his age. Way to shit on someone else for being proud of their kid, asshole.

[Fillmoe]

pull your skiiirt up... SHIRLEY MUUUURDOCK!

[MannyIsGod]

Dude you are a fucking DICK. A small child building something impressive is a good indicator that he is very bright and intelligent for his age. Way to shit on someone else for being proud of their kid, asshole.

LOL

Yeah OK Mr. Homophobe.

[MannyIsGod]

It seems that the people that agree with the OP don't have kids. It's easy to say how you would feel or what you would do when you don't have kids.

I think it's hilarious how people tell you how you should raise kids when they themselves have never been a parent. "Oh but I have a dog and it is like my child" :lol

Thats probably because people without kids tend to know how to do things right. 90% of people with kids failed at using birth control, for one.

[CosmicCowboy]

Thats probably because people without kids tend to know how to do things right. 90% of people with kids failed at using birth control, for one.

You shouldn't talk about your mother that way. Mistakes happen.

[thispego]

Dude you are a fucking DICK. A small child building something impressive is a good indicator that he is very bright and intelligent for his age. Way to shit on someone else for being proud of their kid, asshole.

:lol have you ever played with legos? everything you build is impressive as long as you have enough pieces to yourself. shit, my two cousins and i used to sit there with 200 pieces between the three of us and we were still throwing together some impressive shit on our solo projects but it's not like we were sitting there with blue prints or making sure the lazers and shields were functional.

i'm sure desfloods little boy is super smart but i always laugh when a parent equates lego building with engineering or something. little boys like to stack and build things. it's not just your little one.

[gatoloco]

yeah, maybe legos aren't the best indicator, but they can show a childs creativity and tendency towards the chaotic or uniform...

best indicators for engineering would be more like being good at math, likes math, likes science...and for architecture...maybe likes to draw?

all that said, when the mookie crew has kids, the straight ones anyway, i'm sure they will watch with amazement at the things their kids build with legos and dare to dream as well...

[thispego]

yeah, maybe legos aren't the best indicator, but they can show a childs creativity and tendency towards the chaotic or uniform...

best indicators for engineering would be more like being good at math, likes math, likes science...and for architecture...maybe likes to draw?

all that said, when the mookie crew has kids, the straight ones anyway, i'm sure they will watch with amazement at the things their kids build with legos and dare to dream as well...

watch with amazement? :rofl i will not be amazed at anything my little boy does because i will expect only greatness. if he starts flying or speaking in a foreign language, now that would be amazing. but if is just doing regular baby things, i'm not going to sit here and act like my kid is doing something special that noone else kid is doing.

[CuckingFunt]

Instilling a sense of self-efficacy is good. Instilling an unrealistic sense of entitlement is bad. I think most people would agree with that.

As for why it happens? Lots of reasons. People don't want to disappoint their kids, or they already have that sense of entitlement themselves and just pass it on, or they may not know how to properly balance hopefulness with realism, and on and on.

You'll notice, too, that it's an attitude that is far more prevalent within culturally privileged groups than culturally oppressed groups, which is no accident. By instilling the thought that hard work is all that's needed for great success, it perpetuates the assumption that people who aren't successful are just lazy, which in turn masks all of the systemic ickiness working to keep entire segments of the population unsuccessful. It's pervasive as hell and quite effective.

[SpursWoman]

i'm not going to sit here and act like my kid is doing something special that noone else kid is doing.


What's really cool is when they get a little older, and you discover a talent that they have that most other kids DON"T have. My daughter is a ridiculously good artist ... she can spit out drawings in just a few minutes that never cease to blow my mind. And I'm not talking about paint-by-numbers. She's 14 ... I'm talking free hand, I know exactly what she was trying to draw, drawings. :lol

I'm still trying to figure out what my son is good at that doesn't involve wireless controllers. Good thing I don't have a basement. :lol

But when they are little ... everything they do is a miracle that no one has ever done, and if they have, then yours did it a month earlier than them. So, ha.

[MannyIsGod]

You shouldn't talk about your mother that way. Mistakes happen.

Dude I was obviously the result of a lack of birth control. I'm pretty sure that less than 10% of us here were planned. I wasn't even kidding about that.

[SpursWoman]

I don't know, I might say more than 10% are planned. My dad's family had nothing but boys, and my parents were furiously (:hat) trying for a girl when my mom conceived me ... so I wasn't failed birth control. That's kind of funny, though. :lol

[baseline bum]

Dude I was obviously the result of a lack of birth control. I'm pretty sure that less than 10% of us here were planned. I wasn't even kidding about that.

10%? You can't be serious.

[CosmicCowboy]

Dude I was obviously the result of a lack of birth control. I'm pretty sure that less than 10% of us here were planned. I wasn't even kidding about that.

You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. When the genetic dice get rolled everyone can't be a seven. The world still needs Mannys to supersize our fries.

[MannyIsGod]

You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. When the genetic dice get rolled everyone can't be a seven. The world still needs Mannys to supersize our fries.


ROFL Just because I wasn't planned doesn't mean I'm not awesome bro.

[mrsmaalox]

So sad, some of you guys were apparently raised by some pretty douchy parents. But not as sad as it'll be for your kids. Eeek!

[mavs>spurs2]

LOL

Yeah OK Mr. Homophobe.

I'm glad it bothers you that I don't like homo's.

[I. Hustle]

Thats probably because people without kids tend to know how to do things right. 90% of people with kids failed at using birth control, for one.

Again someone without kids. I waited until almost 30 to have my kiddos so I obviously wasn't a teenage idiot that didn't know what a condom was. Hell I was married before and didn't have kids with her. So how does your logic work with the "10%" that knew what they were doing?
It's kind of retarded saying you "know how to do things right" when it comes to kids but have absolutely no experience raising one. You can't know how to do something right if you've never done it.

[Jacob1983]

Maybe, kids just need to realize that we live in a shitty evil world? We live in a world where not everyone is going to live the good life. A lot of people have struggled their whole lives just to survive. We live in a fucked up world. Not everyone gets to have a happy ending or a happy anything. Some people are going to be poor their whole lives while others will be rich and wealthy and some people will live comfortably and not really ever have to work their entire lives.

[baseline bum]

Maybe, kids just need to realize that we live in a shitty evil world? We live in a world where not everyone is going to live the good life. A lot of people have struggled their whole lives just to survive. We live in a fucked up world. Not everyone gets to have a happy ending or a happy anything. Some people are going to be poor their whole lives while others will be rich and wealthy and some people will live comfortably and not really ever have to work their entire lives.

Dude, if you think the world's shitty, you haven't seen enough of it. Maybe it'd be time to consider living somewhere else for a while. Target's gotta be able to transfer you to a place that might change your outlook on life. Maybe go learn to ski in Colorado or surf in California. Or go to Florida and be a beach bum on your day off. Or go out and ride bikes in the mountains in Oregon. Anything that gives something to look forward to and relieves the stress from working a job you hate. In a way, you have quite a bit of freedom with no serious career and no children tying you down to an area.

[Jacob1983]

baseline bum, you bring up some good points. Props to that. I have actually been tempted to ask for a transfer but a part of me thinks that since I've survived this long at the same Target store then I can probably survive longer there. A transfer to California or Florida would be sweet but I've done the math before and I wouldn't make enough at Target to live on my own especially in California or Florida. If I was gonna transfer to Florida, I probably pick somewhere around Orlando. I went there last year. That area kicks ass. Cocoa beach was the only beach that we went to when we were there but it was awesome. That's one thing that I hate about North Texas. The scenery sucks ass here. Just plains and prairies. No mountains, hills, or oceans.

[Fat Bones]

Re: Hard work pays off - Agree or Disagree?
I think one of the main problems I have is that I didn't realize that the world was a shitty place and that not everyone is a good/nice person until I got out of high school. That's how naive I was when I was younger. I use to honestly think that the world was a good place and that everyone was a good person at heart. As I got out of high school, I realized that the world is an evil place. I also realized that not everyone is a good person. A majority of people on Earth and especially in America are only care about the dollar bill and themselves. I wasn't always a complainer/crying bitch. I try not to let my job get to me because it's retail. I shouldn't let a retail job stress me out and make me such a basket-case but I'm a weak person and let it do that to me. I also was betrayed and burned by a lot of people in my past so it's kind of made me a little paranoid and hostile toward people. I'm the type of person that believes that people will do whatever it takes to get to the top in life and if that means stabbing someone in the back or screwing someone over, they will do it.

The world and the people in it are not evil...except during rush hour. Some people suck, some people swallow, but mostly folks are good natured, if a bit stressed out. My God man, you work retail?! No wonder you're circling the drain. Seriously, work harder at finding a new position away from retail. Now, that you've earned your degree, it's time you started learning and really applying.

As far as hard work leading to success, I know for a fact that a lack of hard will bring failure. Whether the hard work be mental, physical, or a combination, I always work as though I own the company and that my children's lives and my goals depend upon my enthusiastic reliability.

And if you really want to know why all those people blew smoke up your ass in the past, go back and ask the survivors why they told you, "you could do anything, if you worked hard", they probably care more about you personally, than all the combined goodwill of all the internet gurus.

Luck helps too, so... good luck.