One Fan's Spurs Rant...

[roycrikside]

Sorry, just venting...

Tim Duncan: I have no idea what LJ was talking about as far as Tim looking spry and all that. Maybe in the first half. In the fourth quarter he was a fucking GLACIER. Maybe because Pop waited too long to put him back into the game and he got stiff. I don't know what it was. But Tim was slow, kept constantly fumbling the ball, and was just terribly un-decisive with the ball.

Manu Ginobili: I love Manu. I love Manu the way young kids love candy. But holy shit was he terrible in the first quarter. It took him like six minutes to wake up. Then he played awesome for most of the game, but he missed that wide open three at the end. That keeps happening more and more. I'm happy he's going to the basket aggressively again, that's a good sign, but '08 Manu never ever missed an open three. It was money. This one misses them routinely, especially from the corners. Aaaargh.

Tony Parker: Seriously, what the fuck was that was that play in the second quarter? The one where you threw a missile off the backboard and gave them a fast break layup? Were you trying to draw a foul? Was it the worst alley oop gone awry? Or was it just the most retarded play in the history of the NBA? All I know is that Tony was awesome up to that play, and after that play, for the rest of the game and pretty much the entire second half, HE. WAS. CRAP. All that whining from Hollinger and Kori about Pop not calling a timeout and waiting too long to put Tony back in, did any of you people watch the fucking game? Tony was awful in the second half.

Richard Jefferson: I've officially given up on you, dick. We actually call him "Dick" Jefferson at the house now, like every time he launches another brick or misses a defensive assignment, we go, "Way to go, Dick." This guy has the basketball I.Q. of Duck's left testicle and his lame goatee somehow makes him look even stupider than before, which I didn't think was possible. I'm convinced he still doesn't know a single offensive and defensive play in our playbook and that most of the time he probably doesn't even know who we're playing, let alone who his man is. Must be nice to make $15 million a year for doing fuck all.

George Hill: Not sure what George was doing during Pop's halftime speech about making quick decisions with the ball, maybe he was getting another couple of tattoos or taking another picture of his wang, but GOD DAMN is he fucking indecisive in the half court. It wasn't enough we already have one guy who dribbles the air out of the fucking ball every time down the floor in Tony, now Hill's got to emulate him? Hill slows the offense down to a grinding halt (Cure reference, woohoo!) can't throw a decent post entry pass to Tim to save his life, and his defense is way overrated. Also, I think he should take like 20 more corner threes a game, because, you know, that's clearly his shot.

Antonio McDyess: WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? You don't rebound, you don't guard anyone, you can't hit fucking wide open shots, you just listlessly jog from one end of the court to the other holding your dick with one hand and with your thumb up your butt with the other. Why did we sign you? Why? Why? Why? There is no possible way Mahinmi would play worse than you if he got 20 minutes a game. None. Even if Ian fouls out in three minutes, which is very well possible because, let's face it, Ian is a dope, at least for those three minutes we know somebody gave a shit about trying to contest a shot out there. You're lucky Dick Jefferson is on the team asshole, so you get a free pass from people realizing what a washed up has been loser you are.

Matt Bonner: Why don't you write about which sandwich tastes the best after first shoved inside your butt? I'm guessing it'll be Quiznos.

Keith Bogans: I love that we have a "defensive specialist" when we give up like 68% shooting from the floor every night. That's like the Bush administration having a Secretary of Intelligence.

Roger Mason Jr.: You are so fucking terrible at everything besides shooting that Pop can't even put you on the floor, so congratulations. Also, you suck at shooting.

DeJuan Blair: I have absolutely no complaints or criticisms of you at all. I love you. You are, on most nights, our second or third best player. And that reality makes me just want to curl up in to the fetal position and cry myself to death.

Michael Finley: Don't you have an ounce of pride or dignity? Retire already.

Pop: You galactically pompous shithead. You arrogant pockmarked self-righteous, self-important gasbag. You've been mailing it in for the last three years. You want guys to play defense and then you put five offensive-minded midgets on the floor for 68 minutes a night. Somewhere around 2008 you turned into Don Nelson and no one seems to have realized it. I can shit better lineups than you put on the floor. Blair-Bonner-Bogans-Parker-Ginobili? Really? You have your two best penetrators on the floor and you don't have a decent three point shooter like Mason to play with them? You don't have anybody between 6'5 and 6'11 when the Blazers entire roster is like 6'9? Fucking genius. Phil Jackson could coach a better game than you while on the toilet.

How hard is it for you to realize that you should never take out both Tim and Manu at the same time, ever? You've got like three players who don't suck. Figure out a way to have two of the three on the floor at all times. It's not rocket science, asshole.

Try to actually plan ahead for these games once in a while and not do everything on a fucking whim. Okay? Also, it'd be nice if you don't show up to the games looking like some drunk homeless person. Just a thought.

[ElNono]

I guess we need 'The Official Rant Soapbox Thread'...

[arakkus]

If they are all this fun to read I wouldn't mind it. Some exaggeration and he probably should have digged on Blair for at least trying to protect the rim on some of the cuts, but otherwise I agree.

[intothechaos]

Pop a galactic-pompous-arrogant-pockmarcked-self-righteous-self-important-gasbag?? I couldn't have said it better my self. But you left out swag-bellied coxcomb. And gleeking hell-hated vassal..... That's Popo.....

[celldweller]

Sorry, just venting...

Tim Duncan: I have no idea what LJ was talking about as far as Tim looking spry and all that. Maybe in the first half. In the fourth quarter he was a fucking GLACIER. Maybe because Pop waited too long to put him back into the game and he got stiff. I don't know what it was. But Tim was slow, kept constantly fumbling the ball, and was just terribly un-decisive with the ball.

Manu Ginobili: I love Manu. I love Manu the way young kids love candy. But holy shit was he terrible in the first quarter. It took him like six minutes to wake up. Then he played awesome for most of the game, but he missed that wide open three at the end. That keeps happening more and more. I'm happy he's going to the basket aggressively again, that's a good sign, but '08 Manu never ever missed an open three. It was money. This one misses them routinely, especially from the corners. Aaaargh.

Tony Parker: Seriously, what the fuck was that was that play in the second quarter? The one where you threw a missile off the backboard and gave them a fast break layup? Were you trying to draw a foul? Was it the worst alley oop gone awry? Or was it just the most retarded play in the history of the NBA? All I know is that Tony was awesome up to that play, and after that play, for the rest of the game and pretty much the entire second half, HE. WAS. CRAP. All that whining from Hollinger and Kori about Pop not calling a timeout and waiting too long to put Tony back in, did any of you people watch the fucking game? Tony was awful in the second half.

Richard Jefferson: I've officially given up on you, dick. We actually call him "Dick" Jefferson at the house now, like every time he launches another brick or misses a defensive assignment, we go, "Way to go, Dick." This guy has the basketball I.Q. of Duck's left testicle and his lame goatee somehow makes him look even stupider than before, which I didn't think was possible. I'm convinced he still doesn't know a single offensive and defensive play in our playbook and that most of the time he probably doesn't even know who we're playing, let alone who his man is. Must be nice to make $15 million a year for doing fuck all.

George Hill: Not sure what George was doing during Pop's halftime speech about making quick decisions with the ball, maybe he was getting another couple of tattoos or taking another picture of his wang, but GOD DAMN is he fucking indecisive in the half court. It wasn't enough we already have one guy who dribbles the air out of the fucking ball every time down the floor in Tony, now Hill's got to emulate him? Hill slows the offense down to a grinding halt (Cure reference, woohoo!) can't throw a decent post entry pass to Tim to save his life, and his defense is way overrated. Also, I think he should take like 20 more corner threes a game, because, you know, that's clearly his shot.

Antonio McDyess: WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? You don't rebound, you don't guard anyone, you can't hit fucking wide open shots, you just listlessly jog from one end of the court to the other holding your dick with one hand and with your thumb up your butt with the other. Why did we sign you? Why? Why? Why? There is no possible way Mahinmi would play worse than you if he got 20 minutes a game. None. Even if Ian fouls out in three minutes, which is very well possible because, let's face it, Ian is a dope, at least for those three minutes we know somebody gave a shit about trying to contest a shot out there. You're lucky Dick Jefferson is on the team asshole, so you get a free pass from people realizing what a washed up has been loser you are.

Matt Bonner: Why don't you write about which sandwich tastes the best after first shoved inside your butt? I'm guessing it'll be Quiznos.

Keith Bogans: I love that we have a "defensive specialist" when we give up like 68% shooting from the floor every night. That's like the Bush administration having a Secretary of Intelligence.

Roger Mason Jr.: You are so fucking terrible at everything besides shooting that Pop can't even put you on the floor, so congratulations. Also, you suck at shooting.

DeJuan Blair: I have absolutely no complaints or criticisms of you at all. I love you. You are, on most nights, our second or third best player. And that reality makes me just want to curl up in to the fetal position and cry myself to death.

Michael Finley: Don't you have an ounce of pride or dignity? Retire already.

Pop: You galactically pompous shithead. You arrogant pockmarked self-righteous, self-important gasbag. You've been mailing it in for the last three years. You want guys to play defense and then you put five offensive-minded midgets on the floor for 68 minutes a night. Somewhere around 2008 you turned into Don Nelson and no one seems to have realized it. I can shit better lineups than you put on the floor. Blair-Bonner-Bogans-Parker-Ginobili? Really? You have your two best penetrators on the floor and you don't have a decent three point shooter like Mason to play with them? You don't have anybody between 6'5 and 6'11 when the Blazers entire roster is like 6'9? Fucking genius. Phil Jackson could coach a better game than you while on the toilet.

How hard is it for you to realize that you should never take out both Tim and Manu at the same time, ever? You've got like three players who don't suck. Figure out a way to have two of the three on the floor at all times. It's not rocket science, asshole.

Try to actually plan ahead for these games once in a while and not do everything on a fucking whim. Okay? Also, it'd be nice if you don't show up to the games looking like some drunk homeless person. Just a thought.

:lmao Perfect!!!

Worthy of a Pulitzer!!!!!!

[timvp]

:lol Quality rant.

[timtonymanu]

this is great. haha.

[MaNu4Tres]

Simply Amazing

[5in10]

This was awesome!! Blair does miss some easy ones though, and could be better at d, but I agree he doesn't deserve to be shit on.

[easy7]

Pop: You galactically pompous shithead. You arrogant pockmarked self-righteous, self-important gasbag.

Did it for me, thank you. :toast

[poop]

Pop: You galactically pompous shithead. You arrogant pockmarked self-righteous, self-important gasbag. You've been mailing it in for the last three years. You want guys to play defense and then you put five offensive-minded midgets on the floor for 68 minutes a night. Somewhere around 2008 you turned into Don Nelson and no one seems to have realized it. I can shit better lineups than you put on the floor. Blair-Bonner-Bogans-Parker-Ginobili? Really? You have your two best penetrators on the floor and you don't have a decent three point shooter like Mason to play with them? You don't have anybody between 6'5 and 6'11 when the Blazers entire roster is like 6'9? Fucking genius. Phil Jackson could coach a better game than you while on the toilet.

How hard is it for you to realize that you should never take out both Tim and Manu at the same time, ever? You've got like three players who don't suck. Figure out a way to have two of the three on the floor at all times. It's not rocket science, asshole.

Try to actually plan ahead for these games once in a while and not do everything on a fucking whim. Okay? Also, it'd be nice if you don't show up to the games looking like some drunk homeless person. Just a thought.

YES ! YES YES YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS *fwap fwap fwap* OOOOOHOHHHH YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[crc21209]

Sorry, just venting...

Tim Duncan: I have no idea what LJ was talking about as far as Tim looking spry and all that. Maybe in the first half. In the fourth quarter he was a fucking GLACIER. Maybe because Pop waited too long to put him back into the game and he got stiff. I don't know what it was. But Tim was slow, kept constantly fumbling the ball, and was just terribly un-decisive with the ball.

Manu Ginobili: I love Manu. I love Manu the way young kids love candy. But holy shit was he terrible in the first quarter. It took him like six minutes to wake up. Then he played awesome for most of the game, but he missed that wide open three at the end. That keeps happening more and more. I'm happy he's going to the basket aggressively again, that's a good sign, but '08 Manu never ever missed an open three. It was money. This one misses them routinely, especially from the corners. Aaaargh.

Tony Parker: Seriously, what the fuck was that was that play in the second quarter? The one where you threw a missile off the backboard and gave them a fast break layup? Were you trying to draw a foul? Was it the worst alley oop gone awry? Or was it just the most retarded play in the history of the NBA? All I know is that Tony was awesome up to that play, and after that play, for the rest of the game and pretty much the entire second half, HE. WAS. CRAP. All that whining from Hollinger and Kori about Pop not calling a timeout and waiting too long to put Tony back in, did any of you people watch the fucking game? Tony was awful in the second half.

Richard Jefferson: I've officially given up on you, dick. We actually call him "Dick" Jefferson at the house now, like every time he launches another brick or misses a defensive assignment, we go, "Way to go, Dick." This guy has the basketball I.Q. of Duck's left testicle and his lame goatee somehow makes him look even stupider than before, which I didn't think was possible. I'm convinced he still doesn't know a single offensive and defensive play in our playbook and that most of the time he probably doesn't even know who we're playing, let alone who his man is. Must be nice to make $15 million a year for doing fuck all.

George Hill: Not sure what George was doing during Pop's halftime speech about making quick decisions with the ball, maybe he was getting another couple of tattoos or taking another picture of his wang, but GOD DAMN is he fucking indecisive in the half court. It wasn't enough we already have one guy who dribbles the air out of the fucking ball every time down the floor in Tony, now Hill's got to emulate him? Hill slows the offense down to a grinding halt (Cure reference, woohoo!) can't throw a decent post entry pass to Tim to save his life, and his defense is way overrated. Also, I think he should take like 20 more corner threes a game, because, you know, that's clearly his shot.

Antonio McDyess: WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? You don't rebound, you don't guard anyone, you can't hit fucking wide open shots, you just listlessly jog from one end of the court to the other holding your dick with one hand and with your thumb up your butt with the other. Why did we sign you? Why? Why? Why? There is no possible way Mahinmi would play worse than you if he got 20 minutes a game. None. Even if Ian fouls out in three minutes, which is very well possible because, let's face it, Ian is a dope, at least for those three minutes we know somebody gave a shit about trying to contest a shot out there. You're lucky Dick Jefferson is on the team asshole, so you get a free pass from people realizing what a washed up has been loser you are.

Matt Bonner: Why don't you write about which sandwich tastes the best after first shoved inside your butt? I'm guessing it'll be Quiznos.

Keith Bogans: I love that we have a "defensive specialist" when we give up like 68% shooting from the floor every night. That's like the Bush administration having a Secretary of Intelligence.

Roger Mason Jr.: You are so fucking terrible at everything besides shooting that Pop can't even put you on the floor, so congratulations. Also, you suck at shooting.

DeJuan Blair: I have absolutely no complaints or criticisms of you at all. I love you. You are, on most nights, our second or third best player. And that reality makes me just want to curl up in to the fetal position and cry myself to death.

Michael Finley: Don't you have an ounce of pride or dignity? Retire already.

Pop: You galactically pompous shithead. You arrogant pockmarked self-righteous, self-important gasbag. You've been mailing it in for the last three years. You want guys to play defense and then you put five offensive-minded midgets on the floor for 68 minutes a night. Somewhere around 2008 you turned into Don Nelson and no one seems to have realized it. I can shit better lineups than you put on the floor. Blair-Bonner-Bogans-Parker-Ginobili? Really? You have your two best penetrators on the floor and you don't have a decent three point shooter like Mason to play with them? You don't have anybody between 6'5 and 6'11 when the Blazers entire roster is like 6'9? Fucking genius. Phil Jackson could coach a better game than you while on the toilet.

How hard is it for you to realize that you should never take out both Tim and Manu at the same time, ever? You've got like three players who don't suck. Figure out a way to have two of the three on the floor at all times. It's not rocket science, asshole.

Try to actually plan ahead for these games once in a while and not do everything on a fucking whim. Okay? Also, it'd be nice if you don't show up to the games looking like some drunk homeless person. Just a thought.


Wow..Bad read. TP carried the Spurs in the 1st half and Manu in the 2nd half and you bash on them? Wow...:td

[beachwood]

Now this is a quality post. Sums up every Spurs fan's frustration perfectly.

[ffadicted]

Dice played unreal D lol

[duhoh]

RJ is a spearchucker

[raspsa]

Now tell us how you REALLY feel.

[Amuseddaysleeper]

:lol

[silverblackfan]

Very entertaining rant. Don't agree with the assessment, but definitely feel that frustrated with this team at times. I guess I am spoiled. You see all this kind of talent on the team and they still can't do the one thing that all the other Spurs did in the past: work like one well oiled machine.
I hope they break through with the team knowledge before the end of March...

[murpjf88]

Sorry, just venting...

Tim Duncan: I have no idea what LJ was talking about as far as Tim looking spry and all that. Maybe in the first half. In the fourth quarter he was a fucking GLACIER. Maybe because Pop waited too long to put him back into the game and he got stiff. I don't know what it was. But Tim was slow, kept constantly fumbling the ball, and was just terribly un-decisive with the ball.

Manu Ginobili: I love Manu. I love Manu the way young kids love candy. But holy shit was he terrible in the first quarter. It took him like six minutes to wake up. Then he played awesome for most of the game, but he missed that wide open three at the end. That keeps happening more and more. I'm happy he's going to the basket aggressively again, that's a good sign, but '08 Manu never ever missed an open three. It was money. This one misses them routinely, especially from the corners. Aaaargh.

Tony Parker: Seriously, what the fuck was that was that play in the second quarter? The one where you threw a missile off the backboard and gave them a fast break layup? Were you trying to draw a foul? Was it the worst alley oop gone awry? Or was it just the most retarded play in the history of the NBA? All I know is that Tony was awesome up to that play, and after that play, for the rest of the game and pretty much the entire second half, HE. WAS. CRAP. All that whining from Hollinger and Kori about Pop not calling a timeout and waiting too long to put Tony back in, did any of you people watch the fucking game? Tony was awful in the second half.

Richard Jefferson: I've officially given up on you, dick. We actually call him "Dick" Jefferson at the house now, like every time he launches another brick or misses a defensive assignment, we go, "Way to go, Dick." This guy has the basketball I.Q. of Duck's left testicle and his lame goatee somehow makes him look even stupider than before, which I didn't think was possible. I'm convinced he still doesn't know a single offensive and defensive play in our playbook and that most of the time he probably doesn't even know who we're playing, let alone who his man is. Must be nice to make $15 million a year for doing fuck all.

George Hill: Not sure what George was doing during Pop's halftime speech about making quick decisions with the ball, maybe he was getting another couple of tattoos or taking another picture of his wang, but GOD DAMN is he fucking indecisive in the half court. It wasn't enough we already have one guy who dribbles the air out of the fucking ball every time down the floor in Tony, now Hill's got to emulate him? Hill slows the offense down to a grinding halt (Cure reference, woohoo!) can't throw a decent post entry pass to Tim to save his life, and his defense is way overrated. Also, I think he should take like 20 more corner threes a game, because, you know, that's clearly his shot.

Antonio McDyess: WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? You don't rebound, you don't guard anyone, you can't hit fucking wide open shots, you just listlessly jog from one end of the court to the other holding your dick with one hand and with your thumb up your butt with the other. Why did we sign you? Why? Why? Why? There is no possible way Mahinmi would play worse than you if he got 20 minutes a game. None. Even if Ian fouls out in three minutes, which is very well possible because, let's face it, Ian is a dope, at least for those three minutes we know somebody gave a shit about trying to contest a shot out there. You're lucky Dick Jefferson is on the team asshole, so you get a free pass from people realizing what a washed up has been loser you are.

Matt Bonner: Why don't you write about which sandwich tastes the best after first shoved inside your butt? I'm guessing it'll be Quiznos.

Keith Bogans: I love that we have a "defensive specialist" when we give up like 68% shooting from the floor every night. That's like the Bush administration having a Secretary of Intelligence.

Roger Mason Jr.: You are so fucking terrible at everything besides shooting that Pop can't even put you on the floor, so congratulations. Also, you suck at shooting.

DeJuan Blair: I have absolutely no complaints or criticisms of you at all. I love you. You are, on most nights, our second or third best player. And that reality makes me just want to curl up in to the fetal position and cry myself to death.

Michael Finley: Don't you have an ounce of pride or dignity? Retire already.

Pop: You galactically pompous shithead. You arrogant pockmarked self-righteous, self-important gasbag. You've been mailing it in for the last three years. You want guys to play defense and then you put five offensive-minded midgets on the floor for 68 minutes a night. Somewhere around 2008 you turned into Don Nelson and no one seems to have realized it. I can shit better lineups than you put on the floor. Blair-Bonner-Bogans-Parker-Ginobili? Really? You have your two best penetrators on the floor and you don't have a decent three point shooter like Mason to play with them? You don't have anybody between 6'5 and 6'11 when the Blazers entire roster is like 6'9? Fucking genius. Phil Jackson could coach a better game than you while on the toilet.

How hard is it for you to realize that you should never take out both Tim and Manu at the same time, ever? You've got like three players who don't suck. Figure out a way to have two of the three on the floor at all times. It's not rocket science, asshole.

Try to actually plan ahead for these games once in a while and not do everything on a fucking whim. Okay? Also, it'd be nice if you don't show up to the games looking like some drunk homeless person. Just a thought.

Wow, after all that, you neglected to say anything nice about Ratliffe and Mahinmi.