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CuckingFunt
02-24-2010, 10:45 PM
http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/10_08/b4167070046047.htm?chan=magazine%20channel_what%27 s%20next


Caring for Pets Left Behind by the Rapture

For a fee, this service will place your dog or cat in the home of a caring atheist on Judgment Day

By Mike Di Paola

Many people in the U.S.—perhaps 20 million to 40 million—believe there will be a Second Coming in their lifetimes, followed by the Rapture . In this event, they say, the righteous will be spirited away to a better place while the godless remain on Earth. But what will become of all the pets?

Bart Centre, 61, a retired retail executive in New Hampshire, says many people are troubled by this question, and he wants to help. He started a service called Eternal Earth-Bound Pets (http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/) that promises to rescue and care for animals left behind by the saved.

Promoted on the Web as "the next best thing to pet salvation in a Post Rapture World," the service has attracted more than 100 clients, who pay $110 for a 10-year contract ($15 for each additional pet.) If the Rapture happens in that time, the pets left behind will have homes—with atheists. Centre has set up a national network of godless humans to carry out the mission. "If you love your pets, I can't understand how you could not consider this," he says.

Centre came up with the idea while working on his book, The Atheist Camel Chronicles (http://theatheistcamelchronicles.blogspot.com/), written under the pseudonym Dromedary Hump. In it, he says many unkind things about the devout and confesses that "I'm trying to figure out how to cash in on this hysteria to supplement my income."
Whatever motivates Centre, he has tapped into a source of genuine unease. Todd Strandberg, who founded a biblical prophecy Web site called raptureready.com that draws 250,000 unique visitors a month, agrees that Fido and Mittens are doomed. "Pets don't have souls, so they'll remain on Earth. I don't see how they can be taken with you," he says. "A lot of persons are concerned about their pets, but I don't know if they should necessarily trust atheists to take care of them."

This paradox poses a challenge for Centre. He must reassure the Rapture
crowd that his pet rescuers are wicked enough to be left behind but good enough to take proper care of the abandoned pets. Rescuers must sign an affidavit to affirm their disbelief in God—and they must also clear a criminal background check. "We want people who have pets and are animal lovers," Centre says. They also must have the means to rescue and transport the animals in their charge. His network consists of 26 rescuers covering 22 states. "They take this very seriously," Centre says.

One of Centre's atheist recruits is Laura, a woman in her 30s who lives near the buckle of the Bible Belt in Oklahoma, and who prefers not to give her last name. She has two dogs of her own and has made a commitment to rescue four dogs and two cats when—if—the time comes. "If it happens, my first thought will be, 'I've got work to do,'" Laura says. "The first thing I'll do is find out where I need to go exactly."

The rescuers won't know the precise location of the animals until the Rapture arrives, at which time they will contact Centre for instructions. "I've got to get to [the pets] within a maximum of 18 to 24 hours. We really don't want them to wait more than a day." A day she believes will never come.

Centre doesn't think he will ever have to follow through on the service he offers. But he believes in virtuous acts. His Web site directs about $200 a month in proceeds from Google ads to food banks in Minnesota and New Hampshire. And to pet owners, he has already delivered something of great value: peace of mind, for just 92 cents a month. "If we thought the Rapture was really going to happen," Centre says, "obviously our rate structure would be much higher."

Di Paola is a reporter for Bloomberg News.

florige
02-24-2010, 10:57 PM
I have to bookmark everytime you start a thread because it is far and between.

Fpoonsie
02-24-2010, 11:12 PM
:lmao Wooooow.

Reminds me of that bumper sticker response to the popular evangelical "In Case Of Rapture, This Car Will Be Unmanned."

http://rlv.zcache.com/in_case_of_rapture_can_i_have_your_car_bumper_stic ker-p128514565138201647tmn6_210.jpg

exstatic
02-24-2010, 11:37 PM
Perfect. Christians just LOVE being bilked. Just ask any TV preacher.

exstatic
02-24-2010, 11:42 PM
This is just sooooo much win.

My favorite quotes:


Centre came up with the idea while working on his book, The Atheist Camel Chronicles, written under the pseudonym Dromedary Hump. In it, he says many unkind things about the devout and confesses that "I'm trying to figure out how to cash in on this hysteria to supplement my income."

This paradox poses a challenge for Centre. He must reassure the Rapture
crowd that his pet rescuers are wicked enough to be left behind but good enough to take proper care of the abandoned pets.

"If we thought the Rapture was really going to happen," Centre says, "obviously our rate structure would be much higher."
:lmao

Blake
02-24-2010, 11:50 PM
:lmao Wooooow.

Reminds me of that bumper sticker response to the popular evangelical "In Case Of Rapture, This Car Will Be Unmanned."

http://rlv.zcache.com/in_case_of_rapture_can_i_have_your_car_bumper_stic ker-p128514565138201647tmn6_210.jpg

lol

TheThinkingMan
02-25-2010, 12:06 AM
Damn CF, I was thinking the same thing.

symple19
02-25-2010, 12:20 AM
Just...Wow. Hilarious.

Wild Cobra
02-25-2010, 11:42 AM
The newest Get Rich scheme that might actually work...

CosmicCowboy
02-25-2010, 12:03 PM
Angel_luv, I'll beat that deal and take your cats for $100.

angel_luv
02-25-2010, 12:06 PM
Angel_luv, I'll beat that deal and take your cats for $100.

I would hope you and everyone else on here would be unable to care for my left behind pets, since I pray you all go to the Rapture and to Heaven with me and Bo.

But thanks for the offer. :)

Leetonidas
02-25-2010, 12:09 PM
The Rapture? LMAO. That shit ain't real. Didn't some faggot from the middle centuries in England come up with this shit, lead a bunch of people out to fields on multiple days promising that they would be saved and then...nothing happened?

Whisky Dog
02-25-2010, 12:40 PM
I see a market forming:

Why pay a measly amount to have your beloved pet crammed in a small house with an atheist, when for only $9.99 a month you could have them living in luxury in the American country-side with arround the clock care and pampering! Rapture Spa - where your pet will be in their own heaven.

Blake
02-25-2010, 12:44 PM
If I get left behind, I'm going to team up with Kirk Cameron to fight the devil.

Blake
02-25-2010, 12:48 PM
I would hope you and everyone else on here would be unable to care for my left behind pets, since I pray you all go to the Rapture and to Heaven with me and Bo.

But thanks for the offer. :)

do you know anyone that will definitely get left behind?

I can build them a tribulation proof bunker, filled with a 7 year supply canned food. Save your doomed loved ones.

bostonguy
02-25-2010, 12:50 PM
If I get left behind, I'm going to team up with Kirk Cameron to fight the devil.

You should side with Tim Tebow instead.

Trainwreck2100
02-25-2010, 12:51 PM
seriously what would make them keep their word

Fpoonsie
02-25-2010, 12:53 PM
There's gonna be some irate "Raptured" when they get to the pearly gates only to find Fido's waiting there for them. You'd think they coulda saved a couple Benjis (NPI) simply by watching the instructional vid:

http://canigraduate.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/all-dogs-go-to-heaven-disney-animation.jpg

Cats, however, are still fucked.

angel_luv
02-25-2010, 12:54 PM
do you know anyone that will definitely get left behind?

I can build them a tribulation proof bunker, filled with a 7 year supply canned food. Save your doomed loved ones.


Nope. Salvation is a gift that is always available, so long as there is breath in a person's body. I am constant in praying and believing that everyone in my circle of influence will accept Christ.

You are included in those prayers, in case you were wondering. :)

The Gemini Method
02-25-2010, 12:56 PM
You should side with Tim Tebow instead.

Tim Tebow said if he isn't allowed to play QB at the next level, the Rapture will begin after the final preseason game...

Blake
02-25-2010, 01:00 PM
You should side with Tim Tebow instead.

watching Tebow ride in on a white horse to fight Satan will be glorious.

Blake
02-25-2010, 01:04 PM
Nope. Salvation is a gift that is always available, so long as there is breath in a person's body. I am constant in praying and believing that everyone in my circle of influence will accept Christ.

You are included in those prayers, in case you were wondering. :)

Thanks. I've got a few sins I've been wanting to commit first today.......I think I'll wait until after Family Guy tonight before I ask Jesus to come into my heart.

I hope he doesn't mind that I haven't vacuumed the carpet in my heart in a while.

The Gemini Method
02-25-2010, 01:04 PM
watching Tebow ride in on a white horse to fight Satan will be glorious.

Would he tackle Satan like he tackled his mom? And to think, if Tebow's mom woulda had the abortion, we wouldn't be saved from Hell's minions!!!

clambake
02-25-2010, 01:06 PM
the rapture implies that it also will include souls from the grave.

i wonder why.

Fpoonsie
02-25-2010, 01:06 PM
I hope he doesn't mind that I haven't vacuumed the carpet in my heart in a while.

:lol

Blake
02-25-2010, 01:07 PM
And to think, if Tebow's mom woulda had the abortion, we wouldn't be saved from Hell's minions!!!

I heard that three wise men from the Big East Conference tried to bring him gifts.

chode_regulator
02-25-2010, 03:27 PM
Nope. Salvation is a gift that is always available, so long as there is breath in a person's body. I am constant in praying and believing that everyone in my circle of influence will accept Christ.

You are included in those prayers, in case you were wondering. :)

the more posts by you i read the more im convinced youre a troll.