One of my best friends killed himself

[Leetonidas]

So since like Monday apparently one of my best friend's has been missing. His mom came by my house looking for him and a couple other people he normally hangs out with called me looking for him...eventually they had missing person posters up with his face on it. I hadn't seen him in awhile, a couple months I guess, and I hadn't talked to him in about that long.

Then I'm at work today when I get a text message saying they found his body in an abandoned house in the Devil's Den with a shotgun and he Cobain'd himself. Pretty fucked up man. Me and this dude were best friends in high school. I hadn't seen him much lately because I'm always working or at school plus my girlfriend lives with me etc...but damn, I feel really bad. I wish I had seen him more. I'm kinda in disbelief I guess, I dunno, doesn't feel like it's settled in.

Has anyone ever gone through this?

[Cry Havoc]

=(

Sorry to hear you have to go through that.

I haven't been through it myself, but damn man, that's rough.

If I lived in the area, I'd buy you some booze and we'd knock back a few.

[spursfan09]

Sorry to hear that. I've always wondered how bad it has to be to take your own life you know?

[TDMVPDPOY]

what was the cause of it? depression?

[Imposter]

How predictable.

[Darrin]

I haven't been through that situation. I have tried to kill myself, however. I felt like I wasn't very good at living, that I hadn't done anything with my life, and evaluating where I was going, I was going to be a drain on society. I was disappointed. I was just supposed to be better than that. I carry a six-inch scar on my right underarm that I put there 2 1/2 years ago.

It was severe depression and they usually go hand-in-hand.

[Darrin]

Sorry to hear that. I've always wondered how bad it has to be to take your own life you know?

Have you ever quit a job after your boss has been a prick? Where it's a hassle just to get out of bed and the paycheck isn't worth it? That's how it felt. It felt like there was no end to this feeling that I would go nowhere and do nothing. "It only gets worse from here." So I wished that it would end. I looked around and counted my blessings, to come out of it, and said "If that goes away...I don't know what I would do." And one day that was taken from me. I had no idea how to deal with it and I thought it was just a continuation of the same problem, the fundamental flaw in me, I wasn't very good at living.

Life is like that job you want to quit. It's just a hassle to continue it. Of course, I wasn't very good at killing myself. I was suicidal for a little over a year and never got as far as I did when I tried the first time. So I don't know what it takes, how deep you have to go emotionally, to be successful at it. I had my knees on a ledge, about 150 feet off the ground in a parking structure with my arm open and I couldn't jump. So, you know, my insight only goes so far.

[spursfan09]

Wow. Where'd did you seek help from?

[Darrin]

Wow. Where'd did you seek help from?

I was stiched up at a hospital, and they had a county-run mental-health evaluator across the street. I was taken over there, and spent a week in a mental hospital where they put me on meds, gave me a diagnosis, and set me up with one of the county's core-mental-health providers. It was, and remains, government help.

[baseline bum]

Damn, glad to hear you didn't do it, Darrin.

[Darrin]

Damn, glad to hear you didn't do it, Darrin.

Me, too. Thanks.

[spursfan09]

I see. Well I'm glad you you're still here, postin at Spurstalk. And I'm hoping you had people around you to help you out as well.

[exstatic]

So since like Monday apparently one of my best friend's has been missing. His mom came by my house looking for him and a couple other people he normally hangs out with called me looking for him...eventually they had missing person posters up with his face on it. I hadn't seen him in awhile, a couple months I guess, and I hadn't talked to him in about that long.

Then I'm at work today when I get a text message saying they found his body in an abandoned house in the Devil's Den with a shotgun and he Cobain'd himself. Pretty fucked up man. Me and this dude were best friends in high school. I hadn't seen him much lately because I'm always working or at school plus my girlfriend lives with me etc...but damn, I feel really bad. I wish I had seen him more. I'm kinda in disbelief I guess, I dunno, doesn't feel like it's settled in.

Has anyone ever gone through this?

You're only 50% responsible for maintaining any relationship. The other 50% lies with the other party. Many times, people who are suicidal will slowly withdraw from those around them. If you're busy with school/work/relationship, it would be easy to miss.

[Chomag]

My condolences man. Death of a friend or loved one is never a good thing no matter what the circumstances of the death was.

Best thoughts, wishes, and Prayers to his family, and yours.

[spursfan09]

^^^

That's true. My niece passed away in Jan, so you just have to find a way to move on. Things can spiral down fast, but if you try to stay positive each day gets easier...

[duhoh]

my prayers are with you and your friend's family sir.

darrin, you're one of the more better posters here. it would be a shame if someone like you weren't here.

[Duff McCartney]

Sucks man. One of my cousins bf/husband whatever, hung himself a few years back. It was very strange to me. They were going through relationship problems and he hung himself.

He wasn't a best friend but we were really good friends. I liked him alot even though we mostly saw each other at family functions he was a good guy.

I found it to just be a confusing time. Death for me is always confusing.

[Darrin]

You're only 50% responsible for maintaining any relationship. The other 50% lies with the other party. Many times, people who are suicidal will slowly withdraw from those around them. If you're busy with school/work/relationship, it would be easy to miss.

I have corrected my thinking. However, at the time, I was aware of my mistakes--my choices. Needless to say, I had done things that I was not proud of. Now, I realize, no matter what I've done there is always the promise of tomorrow, at least until a time I won't be here to complain about it. I didn't commit a crime. While I am still disconnected from people that I love and wish were here, I have to live with it. There's nothing I can't handle--I've been through a lot and draw strength from it--and life isn't about getting everything you want exactly when you want it. Stay vigiliant. Move towards the goal and hopefully, you'll get there. But I'm not a motivational speaker or a pastor. You may not get there. Prep for that possibility. Don't let it destroy you.

The trick is to not take anyone for granted. Don't let your gender stand in the way of expressing an emotion. Don't let skin-color make you think you are fundamentally different and therefore, you'll never understand the culture. Don't let a religion stand in the way of connecting with another human being. And the biggie--don't step on people or consider them irrlevant while you work towards your goal. That, with the exception of a very small percentage (killers and rapists come to mind), there's no one who deserves your guard. No one can become an idea, and when they do, the work needs to be done within you to not deal with the label, but the person standing in front of you. We're all the same. We all make poor choices and have things we do unknowingly, and rough edges and flaws we'd wish away. We all got to eat, wash our clothes, and all of us fear death.

That's what I've learned.


I want to Leetonidas to understand that there isn't a person here who isn't standing with you right now. Here's my wish for you--one moment of pure joy today. It doesn't have to be long, but one moment where you stop thinking about the way your friend died, and remember what made him your friend.

[Creepn]

Leetonidas...its not your fault...its not your fault...

My condolences.

[Leetonidas]

Thanks guys. I'm new to this, it still doesn't feel real yet. I found out some more info. He apparently was planning this for awhile because he went and bought the shotgun himself from a store. His mom found the empty box and receipt in his room and I guess that's when they started searching for him. I still can't believe it, I don't understand why he wouldn't open his mouth or try to talk to me or hell, anyone. I guess Duff said it best...it's confusing.

[j-6]

I want to Leetonidas to understand that there isn't a person here who isn't standing with you right now. Here's my wish for you--one moment of pure joy today. It doesn't have to be long, but one moment where you stop thinking about the way your friend died, and remember what made him your friend.

That's a damn good piece of advice. I'm assuming you're fairly young and you're about to hear a lot of blame and crying and whatnot. Keep your head up because as shocked and sad as you are right now, it will be a hell of a lot worse at a funeral or a burial.

I feel bad for you but for your sake, there's been some distance lately. It'll help.

[RuffnReadyOzStyle]

Sorry to hear about that Lee, but as others have said, it's not your fault.


Thanks guys. I'm new to this, it still doesn't feel real yet. I found out some more info. He apparently was planning this for awhile because he went and bought the shotgun himself from a store. His mom found the empty box and receipt in his room and I guess that's when they started searching for him. I still can't believe it, I don't understand why he wouldn't open his mouth or try to talk to me or hell, anyone. I guess Duff said it best...it's confusing.

He probably didn't talk about it because he was suffering from depression and felt worthless. Go deep enough down the hole and there is no light, no hope. I have suffered from depression (an episode, not chronic, thankfully), and supported others through it, and it's all-consuming. You feel like you are worthless, life is worthless, and you just want it all to end. The last thing that would occur to you is that other people might be able to help you - in fact, you end up going the other way and cutting yourself off from others because you don't want to be a burden. However, that is screwed up thinking and exactly what you should be doing is surrounding yourself with those you love and who love you.

What you are personally describing in your own emotions is a mixture of shock and denial, and it's a normal part of grieving. I'm not trying to reduce your experience to a formula, but it is likely that you'll experience shock/denial, anger, bargaining, self-pity (in some order), and finally acceptance of what has happened. It is natural for the human psyche to go through each of those phases. It might be helpful if you read a bit about the grieving process. All I'd suggest is allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel, don't bottle it up. I've had a friend die and another diagnosed with terminal cancer in the last two months, and if I didn't let it out sometimes I'd be a wreck by now.

All the best.

[Darrin]

Sorry to hear about that Lee, but as others have said, it's not your fault.



He probably didn't talk about it because he was suffering from depression and felt worthless. Go deep enough down the hole and there is no light, no hope. I have suffered from depression (an episode, not chronic, thankfully), and supported others through it, and it's all-consuming. You feel like you are worthless, life is worthless, and you just want it all to end. The last thing that would occur to you is that other people might be able to help you - in fact, you end up going the other way and cutting yourself off from others because you don't want to be a burden. However, that is screwed up thinking and exactly what you should be doing is surrounding yourself with those you love and who love you.

What you are personally describing in your own emotions is a mixture of shock and denial, and it's a normal part of grieving. I'm not trying to reduce your experience to a formula, but it is likely that you'll experience shock/denial, anger, bargaining, self-pity (in some order), and finally acceptance of what has happened. It is natural for the human psyche to go through each of those phases. It might be helpful if you read a bit about the grieving process. All I'd suggest is allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel, don't bottle it up. I've had a friend die and another diagnosed with terminal cancer in the last two months, and if I didn't let it out sometimes I'd be a wreck by now.

All the best.

This rang true to me. It's sad that so many people suffer with this disease. It's like losing your glasses and having to use your broken eyes to find them. You don't have the skills to see your way out of it or you'd never get that far down the in the hole.

[Bukefal]

Damn, that sucks, I know how it feels. But yeah, as the others said, its not your fault and you cant do anything. My condolences and take care. :tu

[Bigzax]

marie osmand's kid jumped out a building yesterday. that's alot of suicides going on.

r.i.p. departed.

[SpursNextRomanEmpire]

sorry to hear that man. hope you are doing alright and just try to focus on something happy.

and I'm glad that Darrin is still here with us

[Frenzy]

So since like Monday apparently one of my best friend's has been missing. His mom came by my house looking for him and a couple other people he normally hangs out with called me looking for him...eventually they had missing person posters up with his face on it. I hadn't seen him in awhile, a couple months I guess, and I hadn't talked to him in about that long.

Then I'm at work today when I get a text message saying they found his body in an abandoned house in the Devil's Den with a shotgun and he Cobain'd himself. Pretty fucked up man. Me and this dude were best friends in high school. I hadn't seen him much lately because I'm always working or at school plus my girlfriend lives with me etc...but damn, I feel really bad. I wish I had seen him more. I'm kinda in disbelief I guess, I dunno, doesn't feel like it's settled in.

Has anyone ever gone through this?

you from SA?

my brother in law is going through the same thing. Maybe the same guy... dunno. Did he at one point work at walmart?

[caribbean_spur]

Had a close friend who killed himself. You need to convinced yourself it is not your fault, because it is not. All you can do is keep your friend in your heart and be there for the your love ones who are still around.

[Termanology]

i see dead people

[Oh, Gee!!]

been thru it myself.

can't remember how I dealt with it except to remember that at least I wasn't a such a big G-D loser to off myself.

[tlongII]

Yes, and it sucks.

[Capt Bringdown]

My condolences. I can't imagine the pain you're going through. I guess we have to accept pain and loss in order to get through it. It's important to remember that you will get through this.

Godspeed.

[The Gemini Method]

My condolences, Lee...

I went through a similar situation in high school, well, twice actually. I had a friend that had begun to experiment with meth and ended up od'ing on a too-strong batch of it he had just came into purchasing. I blamed myself because he was getting out of control and I didn't really stick around to be a good friend. There was too much going on in my life and it seemed I couldn't get caught up in that lifestyle. I tried to be the voice of reason, but as some has said on here--it is 50% the other way in situations. The worst part of it all was when I ran into his mother. She and I had talked for about an hour and when she was about to leave; she said, "I wished Jacob would've spent more time with you and not the other friends that allowed him to do speed." I nearly broke down even further thinking that there was so much I could've done to at least let him know there was alternatives.

The 2nd was a girl I had befriended and really thought was a sweet, vibrant, outgoing girl. She seemed to have a ton of things going for her, but I didn't realize she had a turbulent home life and that she had even deeper demons that ran her life. It is easy to question one's actions when the incident happened, but when she killed herself--it was almost a leery sense that she was most definitely in a better place than she was amongst us. I recall visiting my old high school and seeing her picture and the facade she put up whilst smiling in said photo.

Hopefully you'll find an ease in the struggle sooner than later...

[I. Hustle]

You know what? My bad. Sorry for your loss. I'll keep my opinions to myself and express them at a better time or thread.

[J.T.]

Shit man. That's terrible. A friend of mine died last year, not my best friend by any means but someone I grew up with and hung out with a lot through high school and our first semester in college before he moved out of state. He died of a coke overdose. Another mutual friend of ours was actually with him and his girlfriend when he died and that guy was so paranoid because of all the drugs he had on him that he wouldn't take my friend to the hospital and just let him die because he was afraid of jail. That's what pissed me off the most. I would have carried dude out to my truck and drove him to the hospital if that happened on my watch. Safe to say that asshole who didn't do anything isn't my friend anymore and if I ever see him again it's not going to be cool at all, but yeah.

Shotgun suicide is a lot different so I can't relate on that level, but I know what it's like to lose a friend. You never forget them, that's for sure.

[SA210]

I have corrected my thinking. However, at the time, I was aware of my mistakes--my choices. Needless to say, I had done things that I was not proud of. Now, I realize, no matter what I've done there is always the promise of tomorrow, at least until a time I won't be here to complain about it. I didn't commit a crime. While I am still disconnected from people that I love and wish were here, I have to live with it. There's nothing I can't handle--I've been through a lot and draw strength from it--and life isn't about getting everything you want exactly when you want it. Stay vigiliant. Move towards the goal and hopefully, you'll get there. But I'm not a motivational speaker or a pastor. You may not get there. Prep for that possibility. Don't let it destroy you.

The trick is to not take anyone for granted. Don't let your gender stand in the way of expressing an emotion. Don't let skin-color make you think you are fundamentally different and therefore, you'll never understand the culture. Don't let a religion stand in the way of connecting with another human being. And the biggie--don't step on people or consider them irrlevant while you work towards your goal. That, with the exception of a very small percentage (killers and rapists come to mind), there's no one who deserves your guard. No one can become an idea, and when they do, the work needs to be done within you to not deal with the label, but the person standing in front of you. We're all the same. We all make poor choices and have things we do unknowingly, and rough edges and flaws we'd wish away. We all got to eat, wash our clothes, and all of us fear death.

That's what I've learned.


I want to Leetonidas to understand that there isn't a person here who isn't standing with you right now. Here's my wish for you--one moment of pure joy today. It doesn't have to be long, but one moment where you stop thinking about the way your friend died, and remember what made him your friend.

Great post :toast

Glad you are here.

[Stringer_Bell]

been thru it myself.

can't remember how I dealt with it except to remember that at least I wasn't a such a big G-D loser to off myself.

Nope, you're such a big G-D loser that you just watched while a friend wasted away. It's disrespectful for the living to presume the reasons the dead commit suicide, whether out of depression or cowardice or whatever reason we make up to make ourselves feel better about doing nothing.

People don't randomly decide to commit suicide, and believe me I was always thinking suicide was a joke and for the weak in high school, but when you grow up you start to see that a lot of the times people need help and no one is listening. And just because a friend (or anyone that you think is a good person, but not with the "friend" title) doesn't ask for help or vent, doesn't mean you shouldn't put yourself out there to be a service and talk to them if they need advice on anything. Some people are fucked up by their own choices, but when you call them "friend" and see/feel the decline without doing anything you are the one that's fucking them up.

@ Leetonidas: Be with your friend's family right now, get all your pictures and stories out, and share them. And if you still feel like you let him down and weren't there for him, remember something he was passionate about and make a project of it for a few months so that his memory can live on.

[thispego]

http://www.spurstalk.com/forums/showthread.php?p=4116678#post4116678

I was the last person, at least at school (she killed herself during the 4 o'clock hour), to talk her before she went home and shot herself in the mouth and i did NOT make the situation any better. I just didn't see it coming. I was comforting to her but I said all the wrong things. I agreed it was all bullshit, all the teachers at school were assholes and it was obvious they were coming down on you or had it out for you or something, I mean it really seemed that way. I even agreed with her that sometimes life didn't seem worth livng. Damn, I cried that night like a baby and I have been cogizant of and keen to that type of talk and behavior ever since.

[Phillip]

Yeah, I had a friend about a year ago that hung himself. It still to this day is hard to accept the fact that he is gone. Gotta stay busy to keep your mind off of it, and be sure to learn from it as well, realize how precious life truly is, and how in all reality, suicide is the most selfish thing a human can do, because of the way it negatively affects all those around them, and has those same affects for the rest of their lives. Never take life for granted.

[mookie2001]

Suicide is not selfish although people seem to think it is

arent the people affected selfish? I want myyyyy son back style

if I want to kill myself I'm not going to worry about my mom being sad, that would just make me feel even shittier and want to end it even more

is that what people want? For their love ones to struggle through a life they don't want just to make others happy. What kind of life is that? Just goes back to my mantra, "you do what you want to do, I do what I want do". In the end that's what life is all about

[mookie2001]

Sorry dp

[thispego]

choice theory brah, im DOWN with that shit

[JamStone]

Sorry to hear that. It must really suck. Never had anyone close to me do it. Don't think anyone close to me has ever thought about doing it. I hope not anyway.

But, the way I look at it, it's one of the most selfish things a person can do. I know they're probably not thinking rationally and in many ways we should sympathize them and not try to judge them. But when a person chooses to kill himself or herself, they end up really hurting the people who love them the most. They are theoretically trying to solve their own problem and leave all of their friends and family in a mess and left to question what they could have done, beating themselves up over it, and having to deal with the pain and sorrow. It's such a selfish act.

While I feel bad that your friend felt like his last resort was to take his own life, I feel worse for you and his other friends and his family. You guys are left to deal with it, not him.

[mookie2001]

Selfish?

They beat selfish though, they're dead. Do you think theyre worried about their phone bill or car repairs, or if their girlfriend loved them, anxieties?

They beat verizon, Toyota, love, worries, they're dead. They couldn't give two shits who thinks of them as selfish

move on, they didn't die from terrorism, gang violence, drunk driver. They cashed in their chips, some of yall would like to bride of frankenstein these poor people


Quit being so selfish and worrying about your own feelings, if it's that bad, kill yourself

[Leetonidas]

Selfish?

They beat selfish though, they're dead. Do you think theyre worried about their phone bill or car repairs, or if their girlfriend loved them, anxieties?

They beat verizon, Toyota, love, worries, they're dead. They couldn't give two shits who thinks of them as selfish

move on, they didn't die from terrorism, gang violence, drunk driver. They cashed in their chips, some of yall would like to bride of frankenstein these poor people


Quit being so selfish and worrying about your own feelings, if it's that bad, kill yourself

Really? Really? You're a fag dude.

[mookie2001]

Sigh

I thought this was a serious thread not more "fag" shit

what don't you agree with specifically? you think suicide is selfish, ok

should people not move on or should the verizon guy call the dead selfish for not paying his bill?

[Leetonidas]

Sigh

I thought this was a serious thread not more "fag" shit

what don't you agree with specifically? you think suicide is selfish, ok

should people not move on or should the verizon guy call the dead selfish for not paying his bill?

Specifically, saying if it's that bad to kill yourself. Or just the general point of view you hold. Really man? Tell that to his mom or his little brother or his grandma I guarantee you they don't think that way. It was selfish of him, period. I wouldn't wanna bride of Frankenstein him, he's dead, that's it. But I feel for his family the worst because I've known his mom since I was a kid and she was always a stressed lady who only really had her kids. Having her first born child discovered 5 days after he blew his head off with a shotgun behind her house is pretty disturbing. It's her I feel bad for.

[Phillip]

sorry to hear that. It must really suck. Never had anyone close to me do it. Don't think anyone close to me has ever thought about doing it. I hope not anyway.

But, the way i look at it, it's one of the most selfish things a person can do. I know they're probably not thinking rationally and in many ways we should sympathize them and not try to judge them. But when a person chooses to kill himself or herself, they end up really hurting the people who love them the most. They are theoretically trying to solve their own problem and leave all of their friends and family in a mess and left to question what they could have done, beating themselves up over it, and having to deal with the pain and sorrow. It's such a selfish act.

While i feel bad that your friend felt like his last resort was to take his own life, i feel worse for you and his other friends and his family. You guys are left to deal with it, not him.

+100000000000000000000

[IronMexican]

Killing yourself can definitely be selfish. Just depends the reasons. How many people kill themselves to prove a point?

[mookie2001]

I have sympathy too, but what does calling a dead person "selfish" accomplish?

I knew the girl thispego spoke of, not as well but I knew her. My point is you're mourning because the person is gone, not because they were selfish

if they died from a shooting or drunk driver, you could REALLY blame someone. You could take up a cause or start an organization. You can't protect someone from themselves, especially if you don't see them all that often like you admitted.

Crying selfishness is totally missing the point and putting yourself ahead of others, the definition of selfish

[thispego]

being selfish is probably the last thing someone considering suicide would think of, and rightfully so. i could think of a million reasons not to kill myself and avoiding being considered selfish would not be one of them.

[Suicidal Jack]

They cashed in their chips, some of yall would like to bride of frankenstein these poor people


:tu

Finally an advocate that sees it our way.

[Phillip]

being selfish is probably the last thing someone considering suicide would think of, and rightfully so. i could think of a million reasons not to kill myself and avoiding being considered selfish would not be one of them.

While I can understand and even agree with this, it doesnt change the fact that its still ridiculously selfish.

[Greg Oden]

WEQnzs8wl6E

[thispego]

While I can understand and even agree with this, it doesnt change the fact that its still ridiculously selfish.

Is it not selfish of family members and friends to expect a person to crawl through a miserable existence just so that they don't have to suffer the loss of that person?

[IronMexican]

being selfish is probably the last thing someone considering suicide would think of, and rightfully so. i could think of a million reasons not to kill myself and avoiding being considered selfish would not be one of them.

Yeah, you could think of a million reasons. But some people still only think about themselves. I'm pretty sure a lot of people have killed themselves over something extremely retarded. My cousins cousin killed himself for I don't know what after telling his girlfriend "Give me more sex(Or something of that nature) or I'll kill myself." You don't something like that is extremely selfish? And I'm glad my cousin didn't go to that dude's funeral. It would be impossible for me to respect anyone who offed themselves.

[thispego]

Yeah, you could think of a million reasons. But some people still only think about themselves. I'm pretty sure a lot of people have killed themselves over something extremely retarded. My cousins cousin killed himself for I don't know what after telling his girlfriend "Give me more sex(Or something of that nature) or I'll kill myself." You don't something like that is extremely selfish? And I'm glad my cousin didn't go to that dude's funeral. It would be impossible for me to respect anyone who offed themselves.

people who kill themselves out of spite or with the intention of ruining someone else's life dont even deserve consideration in a discussion like this. Yes people commit suicide for all sorts of reasons and i'd say probably 1% do it out of pure selfishness. I dont think most suicide victims fall into that category, and you don't need to besmirch them further by naming their actions selfish. that's a blanket term that i think has been unfairly associated with suicide.

[Phillip]

Is it not selfish of family members and friends to expect a person to crawl through a miserable existence just so that they don't have to suffer the loss of that person?

What makes their existence so miserable? Because they are too much of a pussy to know how to deal with a break-up? Or because they don't have their priorities right, and don't know how to deal with stress? There are people in this world who deal with a LOT worse, yet dont kill themselves over it. Sorry, but suicide is lame and stupid as hell. I know that some people literally have chemical imbalances and honestly cannot help it and cant think straight, and situations like that are a little more understandable. But I'd put money on it, that the majority of the time, people are just simply being ignorant as hell when they decide to do such a thing.

[Phillip]

people who kill themselves out of spite or with the intention of ruining someone else's life dont even deserve consideration in a discussion like this. Yes people commit suicide for all sorts of reasons and i'd say probably 1% do it out of pure selfishness. I dont think most suicide victims fall into that category, and you don't need to besmirch them further by naming their actions selfish. that's a blanket term that i think has been unfairly associated with suicide.

Of course they arent doing it with the intent to be selfish. That would make no sense at all. It's like when your a kid and you lie to your parents, and they gets pissed as hell over it, and usually deep down are even heartbroken over it. You didnt lie with the INTENT to break your parents heart. It's just a consequence that you obviously didnt think enough about. The only consequence you thought about was the possibility of pissing them off.

[thispego]

i agree that suicide is lame and stupid as hell, but life is tough man, and true, some aren't equipped to deal with it. this world is so tough, in fact, that it may boil down to a survival of the fittest scenario. you have to be mentally fit, as much as you have to be physically fit to have a prosperous existence on this earth. some people just aren't cut out for it and they exacerbate their problems by not fixing old ones while constantly adding new problems. That can put a lot of weight on some people and if you're mentally fragile, that weight can easily break you.

[thispego]

Of course they arent doing it with the intent to be selfish. That would make no sense at all. It's like when your a kid and you lie to your parents, and they gets pissed as hell over it, and usually deep down are even heartbroken over it. You didnt lie with the INTENT to break your parents heart. It's just a consequence that you obviously didnt think enough about. The only consequence you thought about was the possibility of pissing them off.

i was commenting on IM's post:

My cousins cousin killed himself for I don't know what after telling his girlfriend "Give me more sex(Or something of that nature) or I'll kill myself." You don't something like that is extremely selfish?

[mookie2001]

So what Phil if suicide is lame and ignorant? They had the last laugh on ignorance and lameness.


The sad part is the death not the character traits one might have had while causing it


Would you rather the guy have died of cancer? Does that give you anymore peace in death?

[JamStone]

I have sympathy too, but what does calling a dead person "selfish" accomplish?

I knew the girl thispego spoke of, not as well but I knew her. My point is you're mourning because the person is gone, not because they were selfish

if they died from a shooting or drunk driver, you could REALLY blame someone. You could take up a cause or start an organization. You can't protect someone from themselves, especially if you don't see them all that often like you admitted.

Crying selfishness is totally missing the point and putting yourself ahead of others, the definition of selfish

I'm just expressing an opinion. I'm not trying to prevent anyone from committing suicide. I'm not trying to "accomplish" anything more than anyone else in this thread simply expressing an opinion. It's my opinion it's a selfish act. Period. I'm not up on a podium preaching to the dead person to un-kill himself. It's over. I simply feel worse for his family and friends who are left to deal with it while he made the ultimate runaway escape.




being selfish is probably the last thing someone considering suicide would think of, and rightfully so. i could think of a million reasons not to kill myself and avoiding being considered selfish would not be one of them.

Pretty much agree with it. Someone who genuinely wants to commit suicide isn't thinking of the consequences and how it will affect people in his life. For me, that doesn't make it any less selfish an act.

[Cleveland Steamer]

i could think of a million reasons not to kill myself and avoiding being considered selfish would not be one of them.

the fact that you think it's about being "considered selfish" shows you dont have a clue brah.

[Phillip]

So what Phil if suicide is lame and ignorant? They had the last laugh on ignorance and lameness.


The sad part is the death not the character traits one might have had while causing it


Would you rather the guy have died of cancer? Does that give you anymore peace in death?

:wtf

no one argued that the death of another person is sad, just that offing yourself is stupid and selfish.

and yes, i would rather have a friend die of cancer, because at least it wasnt on their own will, and they arent trying to puss out of their problems. completely different situations.

kindly help yourself to a glass of shut the hell up

[tlongII]

I don't think it's necessarily about being "selfish". Some people just can't escape their demons and feel it's their only choice.

[mookie2001]

i would rather have a friend die of cancer, because at least it wasnt on their own will

so who should decide what's best for people if they can't follow their own will?

[da_suns_fan]

So since like Monday apparently one of my best friend's has been missing. His mom came by my house looking for him and a couple other people he normally hangs out with called me looking for him...eventually they had missing person posters up with his face on it. I hadn't seen him in awhile, a couple months I guess, and I hadn't talked to him in about that long.

Then I'm at work today when I get a text message saying they found his body in an abandoned house in the Devil's Den with a shotgun and he Cobain'd himself. Pretty fucked up man. Me and this dude were best friends in high school. I hadn't seen him much lately because I'm always working or at school plus my girlfriend lives with me etc...but damn, I feel really bad. I wish I had seen him more. I'm kinda in disbelief I guess, I dunno, doesn't feel like it's settled in.

Has anyone ever gone through this?

:depressed

Really sorry, man. Death is hard. One second theyre just as here as you and me and then theyre gone.

[The Reckoning]

yall are probably the sort to believe that every single act carried out is a selfish one

[mookie_crew]

yall niggas know what we bump down in the v

rCWH2MmlHQE&

[thispego]

the fact that you think it's about being "considered selfish" shows you dont have a clue brah.

The fact that you said that shows you didn't read the thread brah

[MookieCrew]

yall niggas know what we bump down in the v

rCWH2MmlHQE&

ha! dets wat i woulda done