Weekend at Bernie's (Madoff, that is...)

[Cyrano]

Last December, officials at the federal prison in Butner, N.C., rebuffed rumors of a prison-yard beatdown involving the facility's most famous inmate, Bernie Madoff—he of the multibillion-dollar Ponzi scheme that crashed to earth so ingloriously in 2008. Yes, the prison’s administrators conceded, Madoff had suffered facial fractures and lacerations, broken ribs and a collapsed lung requiring an extended hospital stay. But the former Wall Street titan had just fallen out of his bunk bed, they insisted.
Today, observers who were skeptical of the odds that one’s lung might collapse after a tumble out of bed were vindicated. The Wall Street Journal confirmed the more plausible version of events today: that Madoff was indeed jumped and beaten up by a fellow inmate, a “beefy” gent who possessed a black belt in judo—and had a personal grievance stemming from a Madoff-contracted debt he believed he was owed.

[TwAnKiEs]

But the former Wall Street titan had just fallen out of his bunk bed, they insisted.........


Madoff was indeed jumped and beaten up by a fellow inmate, a “beefy” gent who possessed a black belt in judo—and had a personal grievance stemming from a Madoff-contracted debt he believed he was owed.



:wow:lmao

Beefy - Thats what HE said

[TDMVPDPOY]

his in t here for 80yrs, what happens if he dies b4 the 80yrs is up? they leave his corpse in jail?

[baseline bum]

Should have cut his throat and finished the job.

[smeagol]

Should have cut his throat and finished the job.

Aren't you against the death penalty? (and killing in general)

[baseline bum]

Aren't you against the death penalty? (and killing in general)

No, I'm not against the death penalty.

[smeagol]

No, I'm not against the death penalty.

:tu

[bigzak25]

Today, observers who were skeptical of the odds that one’s lung might collapse after a tumble out of bed were vindicated.



maybe it was just beefy's bed.

[tlongII]

That was nice to read. Madoff is one of the biggest scumbags in the world.

[boutons_deux]

Bernie Madoff software programmers indicted


http://government.zdnet.com/?p=8122&tag=nl.e539

[Mixability]

No, I'm not against the death penalty.

Weighing their suffering a early death against a long miserable life is something I question too frequently.....

Sometimes, if there is no chance of parole or any good behavior lessening their time, I'd rather them live through "prison life" for many years..... death penalty just seems to much of an easy way out for these scumbags.

[Stringer_Bell]

The Wall Street Journal confirmed the more plausible version of events today: that Madoff was indeed jumped and beaten up by a fellow inmate, a “beefy” gent who possessed a black belt in judo—and had a personal grievance stemming from a Madoff-contracted debt he believed he was owed.

:lmao

No way is the prison nor Madoff's handlers stupid enough to allow anyone with a possible grudge against him put his life in danger. I bet this "beefy" gent doesn't even know how to diversify his portfolio! He probably saw an old dude that look a little "soft" and figured it was time to dish out some punishment.

Or maybe someone from the outside paid him off to do it? He is a judo black belt, that's quite a coincidence. :wow

[z0sa]

Defenseless and broken, he probably got gang raped shortly thereafter.

[thispego]

Defenseless and broken, he probably got gang raped shortly thereafter.

that's how you woulda done it, eh?

[RandomGuy]

. Yes, the prison’s administrators conceded, Madoff had suffered facial fractures and lacerations, broken ribs and a collapsed lung requiring an extended hospital stay. But the former Wall Street titan had just fallen out of his bunk bed, they insisted.

Least.
Credible.
Explanation.
Ever.

[z0sa]

that's how you woulda done it, eh?

I exclusively fuck willing women. Not to say Bernie wouldn't deserve getting gang raped.

[panic giraffe]

that's stupid of the other inmate.

madoff is scum, but i can smell a payday when i see it.

if i was said inmate i would offer him my protection. you know madoff's family has millions hidden in cash, gold, etc. on the outside world.

if he doesn't pay, then fuck him up, if he does, you get the satisfaction of knowing your family is well fed while you're in the pokey.