Please don't make me eat the KFC Double Down Sandwich tonight

[Findog]

You see this here?

http://media.canada.com/07594e89-b6a2-4c43-823c-507cf9085fdd/1130-foodbox-kfcbowl.jpg

It's become a painful and artery-clogging tradition to eat a KFC Bowl the night the Mavs are eliminated from the playoffs. This year in conjunction with a new and exciting menu item, I resolved to eat a KFC Double Down Sandwich to commemorate the death of the 2009-10 Dallas Mavericks. Fuck You Bun! Get the fuck out!

http://sweettater.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/kfc-doubledown4.jpg

Then after the KFC I like to masturbate to Jane Fonda exercise videos to complete the cycle of shame and self-abuse that is being a Dallas Mavericks fan.

Only thing is, I've put on a few pounds over the winter from sweets that I haven't worked off yet, and I'm taking my girlfriend to Texas De Brazil this Saturday to celebrate our six-month anniversary (She vetoed my original suggestion of Chili's). My plan this week was to eat nothing but Cheerio's, fruit and low-calorie yogurt to save room for the glorious feasting on Saturday night. But an early exit imperils all of that. I hadn't planned on eating the Double Down until late May when we were supposed to lose to the Lakers in the Conference Finals.

I'll be honest, being a Mavs fan suck balls. We're a walking F. Scott Fitzgerald novel. Derek Harper dribbling out the clock against the Lakers, Roy Tarpley snorting away our status as "The Model Franchise," The Three J's coming apart at the seams when Jason Kidd and Jimmy Jackson fought over Toni Braxton, Dirk wrecking his knee in 2003, the collapses in 2006 (The Great Gatsby) and 2007 (Tender is the Night). How long O Lord, how long? Haven't we suffered enough?

This by the way is the Official Mavs-Spurs Game 5 Blog.

[DazedAndConfused]

Epic post.

[Rogue]

dirge on...

[Rogue]

Epic post.
GTFO Lakers fan of a bitch.

[ElNono]

Wouldn't it be healthier to just shoot yourself? :lol

[in2deep]

how that double down taste???

it's not that bad. as much fat and calories as a big mac

[Greg Oden]

I took a break from my extensive rehab process to indulge in such a fine treat.

I took 2 bites and threw it away. Bar none, the most disgusting fast food item I've ever purchased.

[Findog]

how that double down taste???

it's not that bad. as much fat and calories as a big mac

My friend tried it the other day. He said it's not worth the hype. I would think the lack of carbs offsets some of the fattening aspects of it.

[Muser]

Damn no wonder America has so many obese people, shit looks disgusting.

[Rogue]

Damn no wonder America has so many obese people, shit looks disgusting.
agreed. America doesn't have a good coastline-land area ratio like Britain, so fishery isn't very developed in America compared to other industries and fish seldom appears on American diets. If they want some meat or high-protein food, pork/beef/mutton seem to be their only choice which are all weight-gaining foods.

[Phillip]

Mavs win by 7

[Thunder Dan]

I don't understand why people are so upset about the Double Down. It's no different than any other fast food sandwich. A non controversial lunch

[Findog]

Mavs win by 7

Who are the refs for tonight?

[Muser]

Who are the refs for tonight?

Monty McCutchen
Pat Fraher
Greg Willard

[Fpoonsie]

Win or lose (though, preferably win), I just want this fucking series to be over.

[z0sa]

Don't pay $5.99 for that.

[Findog]

Win or lose (though, preferably win), I just want this fucking series to be over.

Don't worry, the Mavs will soon be put out of their misery.

[picc84]

KFC just stopping the hearts they're supposed to stop.

[cheguevara]

Don't pay $5.99 for that.

5.99!?!?!?!?!

gimme a big mac heart attack anyday

[florige]

My friend tried it the other day. He said it's not worth the hype. I would think the lack of carbs offsets some of the fattening aspects of it.


So if you don't post tommorow that means that you ate it and died instantly?

[Dex]

We're a walking F. Scott Fitzgerald novel.

:lmao

Put a little ranch on it, it'll be fine.

[picc84]

I know lots of people who tried it and said it was great.

Lets not lie, findog. Your fatass will be eating one anyway, or way or the other.

[Findog]

So if you don't post tommorow that means that you ate it and died instantly?

If the Mavs lose tonight and I don't post tomorrow, it's because I made a bet with mono on the outcome of the series and have to refrain from posting until the Spurs are eliminated from the playoffs.

[Spurminator]

It's better for you than a Whopper.

But I didn't like it. tbh it's kind of bland. It needs more sauce and bacon. If you must have one, go with the grilled version. A little better tasting and probably a little better for you. Order the combo with a salad. Totally cancels everything out.

[Findog]

It's better for you than a Whopper.

But I didn't like it. tbh it's kind of bland. It needs more sauce and bacon. If you must have one, go with the grilled version. A little better tasting and probably a little better for you. Order the combo with a salad. Totally cancels everything out.

Hmm, interesting. I was thinking you have to get the fried version since it totally goes against the spirit of the double down to do the grilled version. But if the grilled tastes better, then that sounds like the right course of action.

[EmptyMan]

agreed. America doesn't have a good coastline-land area ratio like Britain, so fishery isn't very developed in America compared to other industries and fish seldom appears on American diets. If they want some meat or high-protein food, pork/beef/mutton seem to be their only choice which are all weight-gaining foods.

This is America. We have access to every foot item available on the planet. We have tv shows where people go around and eat snail droppings from Cambodia simply to find new food items to explore.


4 oz of boneless skinless chicken is 183 cals, 34.5 g protein, 4 g fat, 0 g carbs.

[Bukefal]

shit looks disgusting.

+1

Really disgusting.

[TampaDude]

I finally tried one of those Double Down sandwiches the other day. Not bad for fast food. The bacon could've been crispier, but overall, a decent artery-clogging lunch. :D

[LnGrrrR]

Nice post Findog. As a Red Sox fan, before 2004 I was in your shoes. There's light at the end of the tunnel... but I can't tell you how long that tunnel is.

[redzero]

I refuse to call that thing a sandwich.

Where the fuck is the bread? It's just two slabs of meat stacked on each other.

[21_Blessings]

Hmm, interesting. I was thinking you have to get the fried version since it totally goes against the spirit of the double down to do the grilled version. But if the grilled tastes better, then that sounds like the right course of action.

There's a grilled version? I'm ordering the shit out of that.

For people on a CKD that's a solid meal. Still overpriced though.

[TampaDude]

There's a grilled version? I'm ordering the shit out of that.

For people on a CKD that's a solid meal. Still overpriced though.

You do keto? I had a friend that did that back in the day. How's it going?

[LnGrrrR]

But I didn't like it. tbh it's kind of bland. It needs more life-destroying ingredients.

fify :lol

[Findog]

There's a grilled version? I'm ordering the shit out of that.

For people on a CKD that's a solid meal. Still overpriced though.

Yeah, the grilled version has less calories and less grams of fat. And with no bun, you're getting a break on carbs as well.

[21_Blessings]

You do keto? I had a friend that did that back in the day. How's it going?

It's the only way I can stay around 10-12% bodyfat without going crazy. Less prone to your insulin spiking that's for sure.

[SpursRulez4eVeR]

how about a taste of losing 4 games in a row, the mavs haven't had a taste of that yet this season(i think).

[Shank]

The grilled version is loaded with salt.

I just made my own out of chicken fingers from Raising Cane's. I just fucking won the day.

[Fpoonsie]

The grilled version is loaded with salt.

I just made my own out of chicken fingers from Raising Cane's. I just fucking won the day.

Didjoo use the Cane's sauce? Pretty sure that'd put it over tha top.

[Spurminator]

fify :lol

I wouldn't want to live in a world without bacon anyway. :lol

[Shank]

Didjoo use the Cane's sauce? Pretty sure that'd put it over tha top.

Son, son, son. You KNOW I did.

[ElNono]

Spurs can't afford to give up a scoring run like the last couple of games and be down 15+ points in this game. I think that if they can keep it close going into the 4th, the pressure is really going to mount on Dallas...

On the other hand, I can completely envision a Mavs blowout win...

[easy7]

That shit looks greasy enough that if you rub it on any wall you will make a window...

[Fpoonsie]

Son, son, son. You KNOW I did.

Your culinary creativity intrigues me. Looks like I know where I'M going to lunch.



On the other hand, I can completely envision a Mavs blowout win...

Yeah, same here.

I hate the thought of giving this Mavs team any hope. The last thing we need is a confident DAL squad coming back to the At&t Center.

[j.dizzle]

You know America is overweight when the buns are fried chicken now hahahaha wow im happy I rarely eat fast food, that shit is probably 2 days worth of sodium

[Findog]

Memo to Caron Butler: Stop shooting the ball so fucking much!

Game 4: Butler 18 FGAs, Dirk 10 FGAs

[Findog]

Butler for the series: 39% shooting
Dirk for the series: 54% shooting

[Shank]

Your culinary creativity intrigues me. Looks like I know where I'M going to lunch.

Would you like to subscribe to my "What to Eat for Lunch" newsletter?

[Findog]

Terry: 41% shooting
Kidd: 29% shooting, including 30% from three. He shot 43% from three in the regular season.

[Findog]

Dampier: 0-7 from the floor and 28 boards in 97 minutes. 16% rebounding rate after an 18% rebounding rate in the regular season.

Haywood: 8-16 from the floor and 20 boards in 85 minutes. 14.4% rebounding rate after a 16% rebounding rate in the regular season.

[Findog]

Meanwhile, Dirk's TS and eFG% is up from the regular season and he's turning the ball over less.

So to sum up, the Dirkettes have dropped a giant turd in this series. But let's blame Dirk.

[Findog]

Dirk's usage rate has dropped from 29 to 27 percent. Dallas needs to ride him pretty hard to have any chance to get back in this series. No more Butler wasting possessions by taking contested jumpers.

[Findog]

The Spurs have turned Jason Kidd into an offensive liability by closing out of him hard when he tries to set up behind the arc. Since he refuses to shoot anything other than a 3-pointer when his feet are completely set, it has gummed up our half-court offense when he's had to put the ball on the floor and they've stayed home on everybody else. That's why they're getting away with letting Dirk "get his" because they've cut the head of the snake (Kidd) and the body ends up dying. Butler is not getting space to create his shot, Marion is not getting set up for easy baskets when he can't create his own shot, etc.

The Mavs need to take a real, long hard look at what they want to do with the PG position in this offseason. I know Kidd had a great year, but once the Mavs get into the playoffs, every elite team will defend him this way. I think it makes more sense to perhaps cut his minutes to 30 mpg next year and pair him up with an Aaron Brooks type who can slash to the rim and create his own shot. I assume the Mavs will target a legit 2-guard with the Damp contract and expand Roddy's role to 25-30 mpg next year. Perhaps the addition of an Andre Iguodala and more minutes for Roddy will make the Mavs harder to guard next year. Because right now when the Mavs roll out their starting lineup of Kidd/Butler/Marion/Dirk/Damp, you have only two guys that can create their own shot, and only one of whom that can do it efficiently. Kidd adding the 3-pt shot to his arsenal this year made the Mavs much more difficult to guard in half-court sets, but the Spurs have taken that 3-pt shot away. And thus the Mavs are easier to guard and are shooting only 42% for the series.

[Findog]

Big Man are still King (that's why the Magic are legit title contenders when their best player shoots 39% from the FT line and is a joke offensively), but the league is becoming more guard-oriented. And the Mavs backcourt is so lacking in comparison to the Spurs. San Antonio is shooting like 49% in this series because Parker, Manu and Hill are getting the space to get the shots they want. Meanwhile, our guard rotation is Kidd, Terry and Barea. The Mavs backcourt is decidedly mediocre in comparison to what other playoff contenders have. Even more than getting a legitimate presence in the paint, Dallas needs a big upgrade in the backcourt.

[j.dizzle]

Dallas by 17

[IronMexican]

Man, that Chicken thing looks gross.

[Shank]

If I were stranded on a desert island with a Double Down, I might take death.

[Spurminator]

http://topcultured.com/will-they-build-it-kfc-krispy-kreme-luther-double-down/

http://topcultured.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/KFCLutherDown.jpg
http://topcultured.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/lutherdd9-620x413.jpg
http://topcultured.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/lutherdd10-620x413.jpg

[Findog]

Look what I found at the corner of Harwood and Elm in downtown today:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3583/4558298487_a4185bfbce_o.jpg


http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3454/4558298507_4d97918071_o.jpg


http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3004/4558298529_988539ced1_o.jpg


http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4014/4558298557_95fb61a512_o.jpg


That billboard in downtown Dallas is just adding insult to injury.

[Muser]

Terry: 41% shooting
Kidd: 29% shooting, including 30% from three. He shot 43% from three in the regular season.

Damn Kidd putting up Bonner like stats.

[Muser]

Look what I found at the corner of Harwood and Elm in downtown today:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3583/4558298487_a4185bfbce_o.jpg


http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3454/4558298507_4d97918071_o.jpg


http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3004/4558298529_988539ced1_o.jpg


http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4014/4558298557_95fb61a512_o.jpg


That billboard in downtown Dallas is just adding insult to injury.

Damn Spur fan must of done it. Next thing you know they're gonna put up that pic of the one mav fan against GS.

[Muser]

Need to stop saying damn. rofl.

[monosylab1k]

If I were stranded on a desert island with a Double Down, I might take death.

out of morbid curiosity, I had a Double Down today.

Not terrible. But I definitely saw that the fact that the Double Down even exists just shows how big of failures we are as human beings.

[Morg1411]

I like your post, Findog. Regardless of what team you root for, that's some funny shit.

[Morg1411]

And don't eat the Double-Down. Gods, no. If you must, just use the sawed off shotgun...it's quicker, cleaner, and buckshot just HAS to taste better than that KFC shit...

[Shank]

out of morbid curiosity, I had a Double Down today.

Not terrible. But I definitely saw that the fact that the Double Down even exists just shows how big of failures we are as human beings.

Are you sleepy?

Do you smell toast?

You might be having a stroke.

[Spurologist]

that double down is good but expensive as fuck...

[Bartleby]

Dirk wrecking his knee in 2003, the collapses in 2006 (The Great Gatsby) and 2007 (Tender is the Night)

:lol

I guess that means Dirk is Dick Diver (and Dirk's crazy girlfriend is Dick's crazy wife, Nicole).

[bobbybob0]

It's a lot worse than a Big Mac.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2720/4533302279_a1fc855031_o.png

http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/2010/04/double-down-by-numbers-unhealthiest.html

[m33p0]

You see this here?

http://media.canada.com/07594e89-b6a2-4c43-823c-507cf9085fdd/1130-foodbox-kfcbowl.jpg

http://sweettater.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/kfc-doubledown4.jpg

are those things alive?

[anakha]

Those look... strangely sad.

[badfish22]

ArtGarcia_NBA:
Early word in Big D is lots of Spurs fans bought up extra tix in AAC. They smell blood in water

God damn Dallas Spurfans.

[Findog]

ArtGarcia_NBA:
Early word in Big D is lots of Spurs fans bought up extra tix in AAC. They smell blood in water

God damn Dallas Spurfans.

Our fanbase is awful though. If it were a Cowboys playoff game, though, you can be damn sure visiting fans would have a hard time finding a ticket.

[Fpoonsie]

ArtGarcia_NBA:
Early word in Big D is lots of Spurs fans bought up extra tix in AAC. They smell blood in water

God damn Dallas Spurfans.

Hi.

Butchoo gotta admit, it's not as annoying as the LA "fans" that show up.

[badfish22]

Hi.

Butchoo gotta admit, it's not as annoying as the LA "fans" that show up.

At least SA is close to Dallas, so theres a possibility that they either have
a) family in SA or
b) used to live in SA.


or they are just dedicated Spur fans who are driving from SA to Dallas from the game.

But I agree its shameful our pussy ass fan base has lost all hope and is selling their tickets to Spur fans so that they can cheer the Spurs closing out the series.

[monosylab1k]

this is it.

9rFx6OFooCs

[monosylab1k]

O4Lhw4M-GTg

[monosylab1k]

VYN4jnA8fKs

[DUNCANownsKOBE2]

lol Booby Miles
lol "if you wanna win put booby in"

[monosylab1k]

0v4_rzwk52A

[monosylab1k]

oAAAhSVQItc

[monosylab1k]

3_SyoltH1xg

[monosylab1k]

Bbcchx0ipwA

[badfish22]

lol "if you wanna win put booby in"

lol Carlisle should listen to this.

[monosylab1k]

here we go

[Blake]

lol the cervix missed the layup

[MavDynasty]

LOL matrix missed dunk and almost missed layup

[MavDynasty]

Caron muthafuckin butler

[balli]

wtf?

[4>0rings]

I hope Rick plays Matrix for 48 minutes.

[Findog]

Nice to see Butler play well. Where was this the last two games?

[4>0rings]

I'll never understand Pop and his shitty rotations. Mason..? The guy got the ball and was suprised.

[Cry Havoc]

Mason playing = your gut is staying healthy for a couple more days.

[picc84]

Damn Spur fan must of done it. Next thing you know they're gonna put up that pic of the one mav fan against GS.

http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/2801/dallasm.jpg

[BlackSwordsMan]

subway night!

[badfish22]

I would be feeling pretty good about this game if I was a spurfan.

[4>0rings]

http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/2801/dallasm.jpg
:rollin

[benefactor]

Big props to Najera for helping the Spurs cut the lead.

[badfish22]

What was yalls opinion on that flagrant? I didn't see it tbh. Resulted in a 5 point possession.

But they should never have gotten that offensive rebound that led to the flagrant were we to have a center in the game

[Findog]

I'm glad Carlisle wants to give Najera big minutes since he's so good at flagrant fouls and giving the Spurs unnecessary points.

[badfish22]

TP is killing us. Hes the only positive +/- spur with a plus 6. 17 points.

[Findog]

Najera isn't going to get the benefit of the doubt after flinging Manu to the floor.

[badfish22]

Jesus Christ is in the building tonight.

[badfish22]

@ESPN_Caplan: Devin Harris in the house tonight.

[badfish22]

rudygay22: Jason Terrys head look like a cough drop hahahahah

[Findog]

I mean, shit, wrap him up and bearhug him by the shoulders if you don't want to surrender a layup. Then he has to shoot two free throws. Don't hack the shit out of him after he nails a layup and get an F1.

[nkdlunch]

hey mavfans, you know if Mavs win tonight it's gonna get ugly up in here in the next few days. This might be the last time I'm nice to yall

[BlackSwordsMan]

amazing is belief is a shitty slogan

[4>0rings]

Good win Mavs. No show from the usual suspects and now add Manu to that mix.

[Findog]

amazing is belief is a shitty slogan

The black and white where will amazing happen campaign was so much better.

[Findog]

Wouldn't be surprised if Pop pulls his guys with a quarter to go if they can't cut into this lead, to keep them fresh for Friday. So I hope the lead stays in the 10-15 pt range.

[dirk4mvp]

Oh so this is how the Mavs play when they are driving in the lane.

[Findog]

Almost has the feel of the Spurs pretty much came out lackadasical conceding this one. Need to bottle some up of this energy, intensity and willingness to attack the basket for Thursday.

[dirk4mvp]

Dirk has been all over the place. Coming up with steals, blocking shots, going for lose balls.

[Findog]

Also, with the way the Spurs guards have played in this series, Dallas is gonna have to pack the lane and pray they miss their jumpers.

[LnGrrrR]

Glad to see the Mavs on top so far.

And to address selling tix, most of them get sold online, and it's not like you can tell what fanbase the person buying it roots for.

[in2deep]

LOL Pop playing Mahinmi and Mason for most of 3rd quarter. He put in blair to finish it up but Mavs could not get away so he put Blair back in his deck just in case.

Damn, how many minutes is Kidd playing??? looks tired

[Findog]

Damn Pop has conceded this game...only 1 starter in to start the 4th.

[Findog]

Mavs need to take their starters out and only put them back in if the Spurs cut it to 10.

[j.dizzle]

All the pressure will be on SA in game 6, still anybodys series IMO.

[Findog]

Let Jet get some burn to get into a rhythm with his shot, but for fucks' sake get Dirk out of there.

[Findog]

WTF Ortegal? "I don't think Carlisle can pull Dirk yet with 10 minutes left and up 20."

Duncan, Parker and Manu aren't coming back in. Get Dirk out goddamnit!

[Findog]

If the Spurs scrubs cut it to 10, then put Dirk and Kidd back in.

[Findog]

WTF Rick? Get your starters out.

[baseline bum]

If the Spurs scrubs cut it to 10, then put Dirk and Kidd back in.

You don't screw around like that in an elimination game. 10 points can be made up pretty quickly.

[in2deep]

holy shit monster block by Ian

[Findog]

You don't screw around like that in an elimination game. 10 points can be made up pretty quickly.

I understand what you're saying, but I think this one's safe.

Edit: Dirk out with 8 mins left. Thanks Rick.

[florige]

:flipoff Findog with your damn Double Down Jinx thread man!

[baseline bum]

I think that piece of shit still looks much better than the bowl.

[Findog]

I think that piece of shit still looks much better than the bowl.

Agreed. I will probably have to eat the damn thing on Thursday night, but I'm not dreading it.

[florige]

Agreed. I will probably have to eat the damn thing on Thursday night, but I'm not dreading it.



Just don't start a thread about it.

[MavDynasty]

Matt muthafuckin Caroll in the muthafuckin house!

[badfish22]

Agreed. I will probably have to eat the damn thing on Thursday night, but I'm not dreading it.

Make sure you start a thread on thurdays titled "Please don't make me eat the KFC Double Down Sandwich tonight", and saying the same shit that the OP says.

[ElNono]

I'm glad a disaster was avoided... :tu

[Findog]

I'm glad a disaster was avoided... :tu

Or perhaps merely delayed?

[badfish22]

Or perhaps merely delayed?

Probably.


But, of course, the only way you avoid your bun-less fate is if the Mavs win the title.

[ElNono]

Or perhaps merely delayed?

Well, this was today's game thread... I'm not sure if the Surgeon's General allows to double down on the double down...

[badfish22]

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/158/399890810_c376c6d425_o.png

[21_Blessings]

The only thing funnier than the Mavericks losing to the 7th seed would be the Spurs choking away the series after a 3-1 lead.

[TimDunkem]

Food always looks better in the commercials, but I'd still eat it anyway...Surely it's not as bad for you as eating a whole Taco Bell 5 buck box.

[jacobdrj]

agreed. America doesn't have a good coastline-land area ratio like Britain, so fishery isn't very developed in America compared to other industries and fish seldom appears on American diets. If they want some meat or high-protein food, pork/beef/mutton seem to be their only choice which are all weight-gaining foods.

Interesting. I was born in the US, and have lived here my whole life, and my family DEMANDS fish at least 2 times a week, and occasionally we get it 4 or more times a week.

Maybe it is a cultural thing?

[jacobdrj]

I refuse to call that thing a sandwich.

Where the fuck is the bread? It's just two slabs of meat stacked on each other.

It IS a sandwich.

I HATE bread.

I like the concept for this sandwich. I would never buy one, but I like the 2 slabs of meet as my base...

I would put some lettuce, tomato and barbecue sauce instead of bacon and cheese, but yeah, I am liking this.

Also, carbs are still a big problem with this sandwich if you consider the breading on the chicken. Only the grilled chicken version is truly low in carbs.

[ElNono]

I expect McDonalds to up the ante and come out with a Double cheeseburger double down... After that, we can safely detonate all the nukes in the world, and consider the human experiment a failure...

[TampaDude]

That shit looks greasy enough that if you rub it on any wall you will make a window...

:lmao

[TampaDude]

Bump for Game 6... :D

[Ode to Triple Ocho]

Don't choke

[Dex]

Bon appetit.

[Mr.Bottomtooth]

I tried a Double Down. Despite the fact that it can probably kill you, they're solid.

[baseline bum]

Don't really eat that fucking thing. :vomit:

[TampaDude]

Enjoy that Famous Bowl, Findog...great series... :toast