So I'm Getting Married in little over a month...

[howbouthemspurs]

I'm 26 years old and she is 24. I used to be this girl's supervisor when we worked at six flags 7 years ago. We had an obvious connection and we went out a couple of times. But out of nowhere she quit her job and disappeared without even saying goodbye, and a year after that I quit my job and went to Art School. After that in 2005 I became a medic and joined the military for some reason ill never know, and then moved to Germany. During my first deployment to Iraq in 2006 I got a letter and it was from her. I was extremely surprised! It turns out that she got a hold of one of my friends that worked at Six flags and he gave her my military address. And the reason she left San Antonio was cause her dad was in the airforce and was shipped off to South Carolina so of course she had to go. So the next 4 years we just stayed in contact from whatever part of the world we were in at that time, either by email or a call every now and then. Yeah of course in that period we both saw other people; common I was living in freakin Europe! I had to explore all the possibilities! And I had tons of fun doing it! I traveled all over Europe and Asia doing everything you could possibly think of. It wasnt till my second deployment to Iraq that we started to get more serious with each other. She was living in St Louis going to college at the time and I was in a small and desolate town two hours south of Baghdad working at a level 1 aid station. Life was so miserable there that anything that reminded me of home made me feel better. I have a lot of friends and a lot of family but it was her that put in the most effort. Even in my wost possible moment, she knew exactly what to say. When I finally got out of that hellish place and went back to Germany, I got orders to move to New Mexico to work in a clinic at white sands missile range. And she moved to Charleston SC to work at a pharmacy. I moved to white sands in october of 09. In that same month I took leave and flew to Charleston to visit her. And thats when I popped the question, and she immediately said yes. Sometimes I would visit her and she would visit me here and everything is going amazingly! We are getting married in July. I got my cousin planning the wedding.......


So anybody got any advice for a couple of future newlyweds?

[Roddy Beaubois]

I traveled all over Europe and Asia doing everything you could possibly think of.

tmi

[howbouthemspurs]

tmi

lol... yup

[lefty]

Wow, how many times have you watched "An officer and a Gentleman" ?

Anyway, Congratulations !!!!! :tu :tu :tu

I don't know how you are going to avoid the rest of the 5 M's:

- you Meet
- you Mate
- you get Married
- she Moves in
- she gets Fat

[tlongII]

My condolences.

[dallasmavsnfuego214]

Wow, how many times have you watched "An officer and a Gentleman" ?

Anyway, Congratulations !!!!! :tu :tu :tu

I don't know how you are going to avoid the rest of the 5 M's:

- you Meet
- you Mate
- you get Married
- she Moves in
- she gets Fat

that's 4 m's dumbass

[lefty]

that's 4 m's dumbass

Mooo
(she gets fat)

[Roddy Beaubois]

that's 4 m's dumbass

That was a set-up. Hes gonna have a kick ass one liner is response.

[Roddy Beaubois]

damn too late to warn him

[howbouthemspurs]

damn i hope she dont get fat!

[Stringer_Bell]

So the next 4 years we just stayed in contact from whatever part of the world we were in at that time, either by email or a call every now and then. Yeah of course in that period we both saw other people; common I was living in freakin Europe! I had to explore all the possibilities! And I had tons of fun doing it! I traveled all over Europe and Asia doing everything you could possibly think of.

Advice: Don't bring up the past unless she already knows about it, sometimes women don't like to feel like the last notch on a carved up bed post. Other than that, it sounded like a cute story.

[howbouthemspurs]

Advice: Don't bring up the past unless she already knows about it, sometimes women don't like to feel like the last notch on a carved up bed post. Other than that, it sounded like a cute story.


She knows just about everything about me!

[ynh]

Perhaps I missed it but who is moving to be with whom now?

[howbouthemspurs]

Perhaps I missed it but who is moving to be with whom now?

She is moving in with me.

[ynh]

That's cool. I wish you two luck. All I can really say is give her space to make friends when she comes down so that she doesn't throw "I left all my friends to be with you" in your face.

[ynh]

That's cool. I wish you two luck. All I can really say is give her space to make friends when she comes down so that she doesn't throw "I left all my friends to be with you" in your face.

[TDMVPDPOY]

paragraphs and cliff notes bitch, i cant read that shit

[Stringer_Bell]

She is moving in with me.

Then she REALLY DOES love you, meaning you don't need our advice. :toast

Although since she does love you, she might trust you to the point where she lets herself get fat. Keep an eye out for that and get her a gym membership or set up a personal gym.

[jack sommerset]

Pen pals getting married.

[Kori Ellis]

Congratulations.

What's the most time you've spent together since you have been a couple? Have you ever lived together? (It seems not from the story.)

[scampers]

Everything changes when you move in together. Just remember that when you feel like :bang a year from now.

I wish you the best of luck. :toast

[lil'mo]

She sounds really, really ugly. Congratulations!

[SourCandy]

Everything changes when you move in together. Just remember that when you feel like :bang a year from now.

I wish you the best of luck. :toast

This.

[David Bowie]

Congradulations, but I agree with the posters who say that you should live together first before you get married.

[Cry Havoc]

Pics or it didn't happen.

Also: What's the longest continuous amount of time that you've been in physical proximity to one another? It's easy to get along when you only see each other occasionally, but the real test is when you've been with each other for 6 months, seeing each other every or nearly every day. That's when all the super magic hollywood butterflies stuff goes out the window and you're left with someone you love or someone you can't stand being around.

I completely disagree with the people who say you should move in-together first though. Statistics show that couples are far less likely to stay together if they move in first, versus moving in upon marriage.

[Cleveland Steamer]

my advice, learn to get to the point. like this:


I'm 26 years old and she is 24. We are getting married in July. I got my cousin planning the wedding.......

So anybody got any advice for a couple of future newlyweds?

your wife will appreciate it.

[ploto]

What's the longest continuous amount of time that you've been in physical proximity to one another? It's easy to get along when you only see each other occasionally, but the real test is when you've been with each other for 6 months, seeing each other every or nearly every day. That's when all the super magic hollywood butterflies stuff goes out the window and you're left with someone you love or someone you can't stand being around.

This- it seems as if your entire relationship has been looking forward to seeing each other, then being together but knowing you will miss each other soon. It sounds as if you have spent very little time when you two are around each other for any extended period of time. Just know- it's not the same. It's easy to show your best side when it is for snippets of time. And you do not have to live together to know this, but you surely have to see each other day in and day out.

[howbouthemspurs]

Wow! Great advice everybody! I really appreciate it! And I only told that story cause i wanted to get the most honest advice. And its working!

[JoeChalupa]

Good luck to the both of you. For me, marriage rocks!! Are there bumpy times? Of course there are but I wouldn't have it any other way. Being with my best friend and being able to speak frankly and get it in return makes things easier and yet harder at time. We've grown closer and wiser together and know each others buttons things flow up and down sometimes in a blink of an eye.
Be true to yourselves and each other...live and learn...learn to swallow your pride...humble pie is not that bad...tell her you love her every day.

[tlongII]

Good luck to the both of you. For me, marriage rocks!! Are there bumpy times? Of course there are but I wouldn't have it any other way. Being with my best friend and being able to speak frankly and get it in return makes things easier and yet harder at time. We've grown closer and wiser together and know each others buttons things flow up and down sometimes in a blink of an eye.
Be true to yourselves and each other...live and learn...learn to swallow your pride...humble pie is not that bad...tell her you love her every day.

But I thought mouse was your best friend?

[xellos88330]

Best of luck to you both and congrats!

[JoeChalupa]

But I thought mouse was your best friend?

Dude, somebody is pulling the wool over your eyes!!

[Johnson]

anybody got any advice for a couple of future newlyweds?
don't get married.

[Strike]

don't get married.

This. Legally binding documents don't ensure everlasting happiness. The 50% divorce rate proves it. And, honestly, a man gains nothing by marriage that he can't get with a long, committed relationship. And if things go to hell, it's much easier to say "I'm gone" when you don't have to pay to break that legally binding document.

If you have to get the contract, get the prenup first. If you're pro-contracts, might as well have two.

[RandomGuy]

I'm 26 years old and she is 24. I used to be this girl's supervisor when we worked at six flags 7 years ago. We had an obvious connection and we went out a couple of times. But out of nowhere she quit her job and disappeared without even saying goodbye, and a year after that I quit my job and went to Art School. After that in 2005 I became a medic and joined the military for some reason ill never know, and then moved to Germany. During my first deployment to Iraq in 2006 I got a letter and it was from her. I was extremely surprised! It turns out that she got a hold of one of my friends that worked at Six flags and he gave her my military address. And the reason she left San Antonio was cause her dad was in the airforce and was shipped off to South Carolina so of course she had to go. So the next 4 years we just stayed in contact from whatever part of the world we were in at that time, either by email or a call every now and then. Yeah of course in that period we both saw other people; common I was living in freakin Europe! I had to explore all the possibilities! And I had tons of fun doing it! I traveled all over Europe and Asia doing everything you could possibly think of. It wasnt till my second deployment to Iraq that we started to get more serious with each other. She was living in St Louis going to college at the time and I was in a small and desolate town two hours south of Baghdad working at a level 1 aid station. Life was so miserable there that anything that reminded me of home made me feel better. I have a lot of friends and a lot of family but it was her that put in the most effort. Even in my wost possible moment, she knew exactly what to say. When I finally got out of that hellish place and went back to Germany, I got orders to move to New Mexico to work in a clinic at white sands missile range. And she moved to Charleston SC to work at a pharmacy. I moved to white sands in october of 09. In that same month I took leave and flew to Charleston to visit her. And thats when I popped the question, and she immediately said yes. Sometimes I would visit her and she would visit me here and everything is going amazingly! We are getting married in July. I got my cousin planning the wedding.......


So anybody got any advice for a couple of future newlyweds?

Comprimise. Communicate.

Been married 14 years, and every time we have ever goten into a fight, it ended up being a little bit my fault, and a little bit her fault. When you get to a problem the first thing you should ask yourself is what you did to contribute to it. The most poisonous thing for any relationship is to think that you are 100% right and your partner is 100% wrong.

Have kids. Best thing in the world.

Wait a few years to have kids, but don't put it off forever. When you do, make sure you have solid life insurance, and figure out who you want to raise your kids incase of your death. Watch those nanny-911/supernanny shows, lots of good advice/techniques there.

Start two Roth IRA's now, and max out your contributions, no matter how much you have to sacrifice. Best to invest at first in a diverse stable of really large companies that offer automatic "dividend reinvestment", such as Coca-Cola. For really long term, go for GE stock.

Read up on retirement planning. You will need $2-$4 million to really retire with a minimum standard of living. (this is future dollars, so it isn't as far-fetched as it might seem)

Try not to have any secrets, and be as honest as possible.

A good long-term relationship is a lot of work and requires maintenance, but is extremely rewarding. I can only hope you are as happy in 14 years as I am.

[JoeChalupa]

This. Legally binding documents don't ensure everlasting happiness. The 50% divorce rate proves it. And, honestly, a man gains nothing by marriage that he can't get with a long, committed relationship. And if things go to hell, it's much easier to say "I'm gone" when you don't have to pay to break that legally binding document.

If you have to get the contract, get the prenup first. If you're pro-contracts, might as well have two.


Nothing ensures everlasting happiness...well, except accepting....nevermind, If you need a prenup then don't even bother getting married, IMO. There are many "living together" couples who are in "it" legally anyhow and the separation rate is just as high as married couples. Do what works best for you.

[JoeChalupa]

Comprimise. Communicate.

Been married 14 years, and every time we have ever goten into a fight, it ended up being a little bit my fault, and a little bit her fault. When you get to a problem the first thing you should ask yourself is what you did to contribute to it. The most poisonous thing for any relationship is to think that you are 100% right and your partner is 100% wrong.

Have kids. Best thing in the world.

Wait a few years to have kids, but don't put it off forever. When you do, make sure you have solid life insurance, and figure out who you want to raise your kids incase of your death. Watch those nanny-911/supernanny shows, lots of good advice/techniques there.

Start two Roth IRA's now, and max out your contributions, no matter how much you have to sacrifice. Best to invest at first in a diverse stable of really large companies that offer automatic "dividend reinvestment", such as Coca-Cola. For really long term, go for GE stock.

Read up on retirement planning. You will need $2-$4 million to really retire with a minimum standard of living. (this is future dollars, so it isn't as far-fetched as it might seem)

Try not to have any secrets, and be as honest as possible.

A good long-term relationship is a lot of work and requires maintenance, but is extremely rewarding. I can only hope you are as happy in 14 years as I am.


Words of wisdom, that is what I am talkin' about...right there!! :tu

[Cry Havoc]

Curious, HBTS, have you guys had a lot of fights? Any arguments at all?

You can tell a LOT from a couple by the way they act toward each other when they are angry. The more mature and understanding you are when your ire is piqued, the better chance your relationship has of surviving in the long-term. It is essential to realize that you have to view the world through the eyes of the other person (and she, you) or at least make a concerted effort to effectively comprehend her viewpoint when things are hitting the wall.

Any couple can get through the easy times when things are going well. It's the trial by fire that a lot of people fail at, when they're so mad they can't think about anything except how important their own emotions are. RandomGuy stated it really well.

[howbouthemspurs]

Comprimise. Communicate.

Been married 14 years, and every time we have ever goten into a fight, it ended up being a little bit my fault, and a little bit her fault. When you get to a problem the first thing you should ask yourself is what you did to contribute to it. The most poisonous thing for any relationship is to think that you are 100% right and your partner is 100% wrong.

Have kids. Best thing in the world.

Wait a few years to have kids, but don't put it off forever. When you do, make sure you have solid life insurance, and figure out who you want to raise your kids incase of your death. Watch those nanny-911/supernanny shows, lots of good advice/techniques there.

Start two Roth IRA's now, and max out your contributions, no matter how much you have to sacrifice. Best to invest at first in a diverse stable of really large companies that offer automatic "dividend reinvestment", such as Coca-Cola. For really long term, go for GE stock.

Read up on retirement planning. You will need $2-$4 million to really retire with a minimum standard of living. (this is future dollars, so it isn't as far-fetched as it might seem)

Try not to have any secrets, and be as honest as possible.

A good long-term relationship is a lot of work and requires maintenance, but is extremely rewarding. I can only hope you are as happy in 14 years as I am.


Wow! Thats some really solid advice! thanks!

[lebomb]

I had to explore all the possibilities! And I had tons of fun doing it! I traveled all over Europe and Asia doing everything you could possibly think of.


Never mention this!


Then she will know where you got all those STD's, and please dont mention the tranny and hermaphrodite. :depressed

[easjer]

Listen to each other and try to really hear what the other person is saying rather than assume you know what they are going to say.

Arguments and disagreements are natural, but if you keep them civil, learn when you need to take a break to get control of your emotions and realize you may not be completely right or she may not be completely wrong, then you can avoid massive fights.

Love is an action and it requires work. The happy, fluttery feeling? That is an emotion and a chemical reaction. Don't confuse them. There will be times when you don't like each other - that's ok. You still probably love each other.

There will be rough times. How you respond to them will be telling.

You should both continue growing as individuals. And that means changes. That's not a bad thing or something to be stifled or backing out of the deal. You have to learn to grow with each other.