Who Wants To Be Rappin' Shaq?

[Rappin Shaq's Agent]

Due to my client's busy offseason schedule, he will be unable to offer groundbreaking rhymes for the people. So the onus is on you, proud citizens of SpursTalk.

WHO WANTS TO BE RAPPIN' SHAQ?

Post your best rap verses in this thread and you might win the password to Rappin' Shaq's profile. Yes, YOU can be Rappin' Shaq!

Acceptable entries include:

1. Entries that shit on Kobe
2. Entries that shit on the Lakers
3. Entries that shit on previous raps posted in this thread
4. All entries must end with "TELL ME HOW MY ASS TASTE!"
5. All entries must be at least 8 bars. If you don't know what that means, don't bother posting an entry.

All entries must be sumbitted by tip-off of Game 4.

The winner will be told via PM the password to Rappin' Shaq, along with all rules and regulations in conjunction with preserving the sanctity of the Rappin' Shaq dynasty.

Enjoy!

[Rapin' Kobe]

Yo this competition wack as fuck
Nobody wants a troll that sucks
Rappin Shaq seen better days years ago
It's time for me to fuckin rape that ho

When it's time to toss a salad, Laker fans bring the dressing
I'm always gettin my dick sucked by 21 Blessings
Lakaluva's fatasizin about givin me a rim job
Koolaid man's jealous cuz he wants to slob my knob

The other day drivin in my car, made a quick right turn
Damn near fuckin ran over my nigga Culburn
He was in the middle of the street, readin a Teen Beat
Lookin at pics of the Justin Bieber while beating his meat

The NBA Forum is decadent and depraved
Shit sicker than one of Cubby's sex slaves
Don't need wack raps that suck ass in this place
Yo, Rappin Shaq, tell me how my ass taste!

[fo'shizzle]

There can only be one Rappin' Shaq!

[Jose Canseco]

I'm just like Rappin' Shaq, I'm simply one of the greatest
And just like him, I get hated on by some of the gayest
Look at suckers like Bug Selig and Alex Rodriguez
A-Rod's bitchass held a press conference with a huge stack of kleenex

I tell the truth even though it seems like my work's in vain
Look at how many pitchers now throwing perfect games
I remember the times yelling while my ass takes
A fat needle of steroids, yo Mark McGwire, tell me how my ass tastes

[4>0rings]

The other day drivin in my car, made a quick right turn
Damn near fuckin ran over my nigga Culburn
He was in the middle of the street, readin a Teen Beat
Lookin at pics of the Justin Bieber while beating his meat

The NBA Forum is decadent and depraved
Shit sicker than one of Cubby's sex slaves
Don't need wack raps that suck ass in this place
Yo, Rappin Shaq, tell me how my ass taste!
:lol

[Man About Town]

Yeah, the Lakers are great rappers:

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[Man About Town]

More Laker rapping greatness:

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[midnightpulp]

Yo this competition wack as fuck
Nobody wants a troll that sucks
Rappin Shaq seen better days years ago
It's time for me to fuckin rape that ho

When it's time to toss a salad, Laker fans bring the dressing
I'm always gettin my dick sucked by 21 Blessings
Lakaluva's fatasizin about givin me a rim job
Koolaid man's jealous cuz he wants to slob my knob

The other day drivin in my car, made a quick right turn
Damn near fuckin ran over my nigga Culburn
He was in the middle of the street, readin a Teen Beat
Lookin at pics of the Justin Bieber while beating his meat

The NBA Forum is decadent and depraved
Shit sicker than one of Cubby's sex slaves
Don't need wack raps that suck ass in this place
Yo, Rappin Shaq, tell me how my ass taste!

:lol

[Rappin Shaq's Agent]

Is this seriously it? You people are fucking pathetic.

[me15lo]

Is this seriously it? You people are fucking pathetic.

:lol

[Rappin' Pop]

Yo this competition wack as fuck
Nobody wants a troll that sucks
Rappin Shaq seen better days years ago
It's time for me to fuckin rape that ho

When it's time to toss a salad, Laker fans bring the dressing
I'm always gettin my dick sucked by 21 Blessings
Lakaluva's fatasizin about givin me a rim job
Koolaid man's jealous cuz he wants to slob my knob

The other day drivin in my car, made a quick right turn
Damn near fuckin ran over my nigga Culburn
He was in the middle of the street, readin a Teen Beat
Lookin at pics of the Justin Bieber while beating his meat

The NBA Forum is decadent and depraved
Shit sicker than one of Cubby's sex slaves
Don't need wack raps that suck ass in this place
Yo, Rappin Shaq, tell me how my ass taste!

Airballing 3s in the 90s is what Kobe does best.
You were jealous when LeBron got his cock sucked by Jerry West.
He said you were the greatest Laker.
Of course you were, you were the greatest crime committer.

Rapin a white ho, what Kobe does, after the ho had 4 others coming.
You were in a state of depression, while Timmy made the Lakers start crying.
Snitching on your teammates, another one of your pussy ass actions.
You literally threw the Lakers under the bus and up for auctions.

In 2005, you missed the goddamn Western Conference playoffs.
Everyone thought that Michael Jordan imitation was such a turn-off.
Not lakaluva though, he looked at your scoring, and starting wanking.
However, lakaluva's mom gave him a huge Pakistani spanking.

Then, after getting curbstomped twice in a row by Steve Nash.
Kobe started regretting his decision for a lot of cash.
Tried to force a trade to the Windy City.
Kobe thought he was actually quite witty.

Suddenly, a collusion happened, Pau Gasol for Kwame fucking Brown.
The media was so happy, handing Kobe Bryant the MVP crown.
In the finals, he got his ass punked by a wheelchair.
Paul Pierce wanked in your face and let you know it with his meniscus tear.

The Celtics facefucked the Lakers yet again.
Kobe Bryant now has an excuse story about his finger's pain.
Too bad it didn't stop the Celtics from letting the Lakers feel their white paste.
Hey, Rapin' Kobe, tell me how my ass taste.

[Leetonidas]

Abortions

[lil_penny]

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[SomeCallMeTim]

Airballing 3s in the 90s is what Kobe does best.
You were jealous when LeBron got his cock sucked by Jerry West.
He said you were the greatest Laker.
Of course you were, you were the greatest crime committer.

Rapin a white ho, what Kobe does, after the ho had 4 others coming.
You were in a state of depression, while Timmy made the Lakers start crying.
Snitching on your teammates, another one of your pussy ass actions.
You literally threw the Lakers under the bus and up for auctions.

In 2005, you missed the goddamn Western Conference playoffs.
Everyone thought that Michael Jordan imitation was such a turn-off.
Not lakaluva though, he looked at your scoring, and starting wanking.
However, lakaluva's mom gave him a huge Pakistani spanking.

Then, after getting curbstomped twice in a row by Steve Nash.
Kobe started regretting his decision for a lot of cash.
Tried to force a trade to the Windy City.
Kobe thought he was actually quite witty.

Suddenly, a collusion happened, Pau Gasol for Kwame fucking Brown.
The media was so happy, handing Kobe Bryant the MVP crown.
In the finals, he got his ass punked by a wheelchair.
Paul Pierce wanked in your face and let you know it with his meniscus tear.

The Celtics facefucked the Lakers yet again.
Kobe Bryant now has an excuse story about his finger's pain.
Too bad it didn't stop the Celtics from letting the Lakers feel their white paste.
Hey, Rapin' Kobe, tell me how my ass taste.

And they said no one would ever equal the Bard.