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View Full Version : Brock's First Fight



dallaskd
07-05-2010, 01:25 AM
Don't ever go to the LA Coliseum. Promise me, make that oath right now. No need to. I made the mistake of getting off on MLK Jr. Blvd, yeah, don't do that. Not only do you only move 3 feet every 10 minutes, but you also gotta deal with T-Shirt vendors...

ON THE OFF RAMP.

Incoming AIM message: "We just had to bribe an attendant, all the lots are full."

LOW FUEL light pops on.

Oh sweet jesus. I make what felt like an illegal turn and went into an Arco so that I didn't get stuck in L.A. traffic and wait for a tow truck that would probably see my location and say "NO WAY, chump."

Walk in to pay for gas..."Sorry sir, all pumps are closed, someone hit the Emergency Off Switch." Lady behind me..."Well then, fuck the gas, gimme some blunts!"

That's it, I'm gonna die in an ARCO that has a modified McDonald's in. Sweet. Just like I pictured it.

Luckily the gas kicks back on and we're on Figueroa, trying to find parking. The Jew, Evan Shoman, is with me and amazingly, he says he is willing to spend the $40 to park in a lot. Don't let anyone in the Hebrew community know he said that, he'll lose his Jew card.

We pay the $40 and offer up our firstborn children and get a parking spot. We walk towards the Coliseum..."Yo man, nice Sidekick...need another one?"

"Nah man, I already got one."

"Yeah, but this one is only $150!"

"I'm good man, I..."

"$150! $150!"

Thank god for the blinking WALK guy. We head into the Coliseum and I'm amazed at how big it is. Damn thing's monstrous.

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Baroni's there and surprise, surprise...he's wearing a shirt without sleeves.

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I'd like to know if Eddie Bravo had to get a ticket for his hair to get in.

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"Ladies and Gentleman, here to perform the National Anthem..."

CHEERING

"...known for their hit single "I Swear"..."

AWWWWWWWWW

"ALL 4 ONE!"

BOOOOOOOOOOO

Dennis Rodman comes out to welcome the crowd, to a firm chorus of...boos.

USC alum Johnnie Morton started off the show with a bang...by getting KTFO'd by Bernard Ackah...who apparently is a Jamaican guy from Japan. High 5.

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Morton didn't move for a good two minutes, and then got stretchered out. Apparently he's fine now, since he was smart enough to refuse the post-fight piss test. Steroids can't show up on a test you don't take. Write that down kids.

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Mighty Mo and Warpath come out for what I hoped would be a clinic in Jiu Jitsu. Guess I was wrong.

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Mighty Mo gets the quick TKO. Warpath gets a new eye.

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Ricco was obviously not impressed with the fight, since he would rather read about his old boss, Dana.

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Dong Sik Yoon faced off against Melvin Manhoef, much to the delight of the Korean crowd.

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Yoon pulls off a great armbar, and the crowd goes crazy with Thunder Sticks.

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It's time for Sakuraba v Royce. In my life, I never thought I'd see Royce Gracie and Sakuraba fight in person. Now I can say I have. The atmosphere was electric.

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The security was forcing everyone to hunch down if they didn't have a seat. Luckily, I had one that I stole. How, I dunno, but I sure as hell wasn't ever moving from it. I was gonna piss my pants before I gave my chair up.

I had better seats than Nicolas Cage, that's how you know the MMA world is messed up.

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Frank Trigg obviously feels that he is too good to hunch down, so he instead sits on my lap. Lucky for me, the fight goes all 3 rounds.

"Dude, you have a bony knee."

"Frank, it's a KNEE."

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Shoman of course, gets Brittney Skye on his lap. Yeah, life is fair.

Sadly, the fight didn't live up to the hype. I guess I should have expected it, since it's been 7 years since their first encounter, and Sakuraba gets hit in the head. A lot.

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Royce got the decision, Helio was happy. Helio is always happy, but it appeared he was happy happy, as opposed to just happy.

What a main event, huh? Oh wait, that wasn't the main event. Royce v Saku is obviously no match for BROCK LESNAR. The 3 time WWE champ. Gotta love the fact that they announced that. Like the crowd should be impressed.

"3 time WWE champ!?!? He must train really hard."

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Brock got the submission victory, due to strikes. I'm sure Min Soo Kim was just tired of having the penis tattoo in his face for an extended period of time.

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Overall, I enjoyed the show. I think it had a lot to do with where I was sitting. Had I been in the stands, I probably would have felt differently. But the chance to have Sakuraba face off against Royce 15 feet from me was good enough for me. Would I go to another K-1 show? Absolutely...if it's at the Anaheim Pond.

dallaskd
07-05-2010, 01:31 AM
Loco

dbreiden83080
07-05-2010, 10:05 AM
What the hell???

Stringer_Bell
07-05-2010, 10:35 AM
Brittney Skye :wow

BlackSwordsMan
07-05-2010, 10:37 AM
uhhhhhhhhh