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lebomb
08-11-2010, 10:48 AM
Why are homosexuals the first to check out of the hotel in the morning?














































...........because they get their stuff packed the night before.
eisfeld
08-11-2010, 11:08 AM
http://chzgifs.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/nph_loves_mondays.gif

I don't know, I haven't heard a 2 liner in ages which cracked me up. The best jokes are usually quite long and aren't funny when written down.
2pac > Kobe
08-11-2010, 01:42 PM
Why are black people good at basketball?
They can run, shoot, and steal.

A black guy and a mexican are in a car who's driving?
The Cop.

Why are all black people fast?
Because the slow ones are in jail.
lebomb
08-11-2010, 01:46 PM
Why are black people good at basketball?
They can run, shoot, and steal.

A black guy and a mexican are in a car who's driving?
The Cop.

Why are all black people fast?
Because the slow ones are in jail.


................... :yield
Johnson
08-11-2010, 02:03 PM
Why are Jews' noses so big?































because the air is free
Dr. Gonzo
08-11-2010, 02:40 PM
http://www.wordyisms.com/images/prod/tx-utsa-e_l.jpg
lebomb
08-11-2010, 02:41 PM
http://www.wordyisms.com/images/prod/tx-utsa-e_l.jpg


:lmao ......................... /thread



:rolleyes

TAMCC jokes I guess.
redzero
08-11-2010, 03:05 PM
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?




Nothing, you already told her twice.
Viva Las Espuelas
08-12-2010, 10:21 AM
What do 50 battered women all have in common?

They all don't know when to shut the f' up.
CavsSuperFan
08-12-2010, 10:44 AM
• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
• A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
CavsSuperFan
08-12-2010, 10:45 AM
• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
• A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
CavsSuperFan
08-12-2010, 10:45 AM
• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Viva Las Espuelas
08-12-2010, 10:47 AM
Jokes. Not "deep thoughts".
benefactor
08-12-2010, 11:20 AM
Did you hear about Buckwheat becoming a Muslim?

He is now Kareemowheat. :)
SpursStalker
08-12-2010, 12:39 PM
What do blacks and tornados have in common?

It only takes one to fuck up a neighborhood

:lmao
Sisk
08-12-2010, 02:25 PM
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?




Nothing, you already told her twice.

Trainwreck?????
DoKdynasty
08-12-2010, 02:34 PM
How long does it take a black lady to take a shit?
























9 months
lebomb
08-12-2010, 02:43 PM
What's white and over 8 inches long?
Absolutely nothing!




What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane?
Snow.



What's the difference between a white man and a snake?
One is a evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake.


What's the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?
A white girl's ass!
DoKdynasty
08-12-2010, 02:46 PM
What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and Sarah Palin's vagina?















































Only some of the things that come out of her vagina are retarded
Venti Quattro
08-12-2010, 02:47 PM
Nothing's funny so far, and I can't contribute anything
lebomb
08-12-2010, 02:50 PM
Nothing's funny so far, and I can't contribute anything



..................... :lmao:lmao:lmao


Best one yet!!!
Dave Mustaine
08-12-2010, 03:03 PM
Why are Jews' noses so big?































because the air is free


:rollin RACK
benefactor
08-12-2010, 06:18 PM
Have you heard of the new lesbian antidepressant?

It's called Tricoxagin.

(Humor me, I work in a psych hospital)
TheManFromAcme
08-12-2010, 06:22 PM
What do you call a Mexican on a lawnmower?


...Promoted
TheManFromAcme
08-12-2010, 06:23 PM
How do you stop white trash from biting her nails?
























......Buy her shoes
TheManFromAcme
08-12-2010, 06:25 PM
Did you hear about the Rabbi who performs free circumcisions?

















....all he takes is tips
CosmicCowboy
08-13-2010, 09:19 AM
A little boy was sitting on the footpath with a bottle of Turpentine. He was shaking it up and watching all the bubbles.

A Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had.

The little boy said, 'This is the most powerful liquid in the world; it's called Turpentine.'

The Priest said, 'No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you rub it on a pregnant woman's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby.'

The little boy replied, 'If you rub turpentine on a cat's ass, he'll pass a Harley Davidson!'
lebomb
08-13-2010, 09:33 AM
A man was eating breakfast at a diner.

The waitress comes over to take his order...........asked him what he would like.

He said............well for starters, I would like a cup of coffee that sat on the burner too long and pours like oil.

............next I would like my eggs overcooked......like a frisbie, my bacon burned to a damned crisp, my pancakes undercooked..........pretty much runny in the center.

Lastly, could you smudge your lipstick on your face, smear your mascara across your checks, and ruffle your hair up into a birds nest look.


The waitress said, sir......why in the world do you want THAT???


He said...................... because Im home sick.
Viva Las Espuelas
08-13-2010, 09:36 AM
Aw, come on. What happened to the ethnic jokes?
benefactor
08-13-2010, 10:05 AM
Aw, come on. What happened to the ethnic jokes?
James Bowie and William Travis were hanging out at the Alamo door talking. Suddenly, they see the Mexican army approaching. James taps William on the shoulder and says, "Damn boy, how much concrete were you planning on pouring today?"
TinTin
08-13-2010, 10:40 AM
What is the difference between a jew and a pizza?
A pizza doesn't scream in an oven

What is the difference between a white owl and a black owl?
A white owl says hoohoo hoohoo
A black owl says hoo dat hoo dat