Should you beat your kids?

[DeadlyDynasty]

I apologize if this topic has been posted before, but what are your views on corporal punishment? I say beat the little bastards (open-handed of course) and teach them some respect.

[2pac > Kobe]

I say beat that shit (no homo) but that's only if they are out of control

if you are able, verbal is the best way ya smell me homes?

[tlongII]

Oh yes. You have to give them a whoopin once in a while.

[DAF86]

tlongIII come defend yourself.

[benefactor]

Most kids only need a couple of really good whippings. Then the fear of one becomes pretty effective.

[coyotes_geek]

warning, time-out, whuppin'. In that order.

[howbouthemspurs]

Once they're old enough to talk back, they're old enough to get smacked! ... The wise words of the late Bernie Mac

[mrsmaalox]

I don't believe you can teach someone respect. You can teach them fear and elicit respectful behavior, but they still won't necessarily have respect. I have 3 kids and they have occasionally been spanked. Every person I associate with has kids, some spank, and some don't; some have good kids, some have brats---I really haven't seen an association either way.

[DeadlyDynasty]

Most kids only need a couple of really good whippings. Then the fear of one becomes pretty effective.

just tell them you love them afterwards and it's all good.

[DeadlyDynasty]

I don't believe you can teach someone respect. You can teach them fear and elicit respectful behavior, but they still won't necessarily have respect. I have 3 kids and they have occasionally been spanked. Every person I associate with has kids, some spank, and some don't; some have good kids, some have brats---I really haven't seen an association either way.

Fair point, but wouldn't you agree that kids these days (god I sound like my old man) are more out of control than former generations? We live in a more sensitive era too

[benefactor]

just tell them you love them afterwards and it's all good.
:tu

[Sense]

You have to.. this is how I learned respect at an early age. After that, I never got beatings... nothing compared to what me and my brother did to each other every time we fought... but we respected everything else!

[mrsmaalox]

Fair point, but wouldn't you agree that kids these days (god I sound like my old man) are more out of control than former generations? We live in a more sensitive era too

Yes kids are more out of control, but (sounding like your old man here) times are different.

My personal experience with my own kids is that in some situations spanking works, and in others it doesn't. I was beaten A LOT when I was a kid and I really wasn't a bad kid; but that was the one size fits all punishment at our house. I don't think the spanking had a negative effect on me, but I also don't think it helped who I am today.

Kids these days definitely need to have limits set, but I think spanking is only one way to do that.

[Cane]

I wouldn't beat my kids especially since this is the 2000's we're talking about. Child Protective Services need to earn their money after all. Taking away their phone, video games, and internet seem like a much worse punishment for today's kid too.

[CuckingFunt]

Should you beat your kids? No probably not.

But can the occasional, well timed spank, with a strong understanding of why it was deserved, be effective? Of course.

My mom was the type to scream and hit whenever anything happened. It was the go-to response for everything I may or may not have done all the way through high school. After that many years, it didn't mean anything anymore. My dad, on the other hand, was generally very even tempered. He raised his voice to me once, maybe twice, when I was a kid, and spanked me (not a formal "get the belt" spanking, just a quick swat on the backside) twice. That he got angry enough to do that made it abundantly clear that I'd crossed a line and even as a kid I knew I never wanted to get him that pissed off again. Which was much different from my reaction to my mom, who, despite a lot of good times together, I pretty much thought of as just crazy and angry all the time -- there was no association between what I did and how angry she got, so there was no real reason for me to alter my behavior. I was a good kid, though not perfect, but I knew damn well I could have been a saint and would still have gotten smacked.

[BadOdor]

Tbh if you need to beat them you failed somewhere along the way.

That being said, I got my ass whooped several times....

[gospursgojas]

warning, time-out, whuppin'. In that order.

[Cant_Be_Faded]

It is a necessity.

I believe spanking is the easiest way for parents to shift the odds of their kids' future personalities to becoming decent people who are empathetic and sensitive to their actions when they might hurt others.

Nothign is ever certain in development but spanking is by far the easiest way to change a developing child's environment to noticeably shift the odds.

Kids who do not get spanked have more of a tendency to become egotistic, blue-blood wannabe, unapologetic....in short, assholes.

There are exceptions but for the most part this is undeniably true.
Some people will be nice and feel common human feelings like remorse whether they are spanked or not. But overall I am certain spanking is a necessity if you want to stack the odds in favor of your kid not turning into an asshole.

[Latarian Milton]

tartan heads beat their wives too...

[Dr. Gonzo]

I knew a guy who's dad threw gas on his leg and burned it because he broke a window when he was 8. The dad was drunk and the kid learned to not break windows anymore. The kid eventually became a serious drug addict and ended up dying in a drunken car accident later in life but he didn't break anymore windows. So I guess that punishment worked to an extent.

[spursfaninla]

A lot of people are talking and not even stating if they have kids.

My parents spanked my brothers, but I rarely was spanked. I am a pretty nice guy from all accounts, so I don't see how it mattered for me that I was not spanked.

My son is 11, and was never spanked. I don't plan on it either. He is a good kid, although we will have to see what happens as a teen.

I was a teacher, and I could control a room full of 8 year olds without having to resort to any kind of physical punishment.

However, many kids from my class I know were spanked, and they mostly came from poor families. Those kids did not seem to benefit from it; their behavior was not better than the middle class kids that were mostly not spanked. They just learned that big people will hit you, so don't piss off people bigger than you. Also, if you are bigger, you can do what you want.

I can make my kid cry by taking away all of his games and tv and friends, so I have no need for hitting him anyway. Once someone is big enough to understand you, you should be able to motivate them to do what you want if you are smart enough.

[Jaime Escalante]

A lot of people are talking and not even stating if they have kids.

My parents spanked my brothers, but I rarely was spanked. I am a pretty nice guy from all accounts, so I don't see how it mattered for me that I was not spanked.

My son is 11, and was never spanked. I don't plan on it either. He is a good kid, although we will have to see what happens as a teen.

I was a teacher, and I could control a room full of 8 year olds without having to resort to any kind of physical punishment.

However, many kids from my class I know were spanked, and they mostly came from poor families. Those kids did not seem to benefit from it; their behavior was not better than the middle class kids that were mostly not spanked. They just learned that big people will hit you, so don't piss off people bigger than you. Also, if you are bigger, you can do what you want.

I can make my kid cry by taking away all of his games and tv and friends, so I have no need for hitting him anyway. Once someone is big enough to understand you, you should be able to motivate them to do what you want if you are smart enough.

Let me guess, you are white.

[Rocky Dennis]

My mom just hit me once but it was cool. I ended up alright.

[Sense]

A lot of people are talking and not even stating if they have kids.

My parents spanked my brothers, but I rarely was spanked. I am a pretty nice guy from all accounts, so I don't see how it mattered for me that I was not spanked.

My son is 11, and was never spanked. I don't plan on it either. He is a good kid, although we will have to see what happens as a teen.

I was a teacher, and I could control a room full of 8 year olds without having to resort to any kind of physical punishment.

However, many kids from my class I know were spanked, and they mostly came from poor families. Those kids did not seem to benefit from it; their behavior was not better than the middle class kids that were mostly not spanked. They just learned that big people will hit you, so don't piss off people bigger than you. Also, if you are bigger, you can do what you want.

I can make my kid cry by taking away all of his games and tv and friends, so I have no need for hitting him anyway. Once someone is big enough to understand you, you should be able to motivate them to do what you want if you are smart enough.


I don't have kids, but it wasn't that long ago that I was one. When a kid is spanked, he learns to think before he acts... he thinks of what the consequences might be and if you're getting spanked for it then it might be wrong. They don't think about right or wrong though, they think about whether they could get spanked for it. Yes, there is fear involved... but you need that. Respecting elders isn't bad either..

[Venti Quattro]

You HAVE to. Your children will become spoiled brats even as they grow if you don't give them some physical punishment. They think that "eh, mom/dad won't spank me anyway so I'll continue this shit"

But "beat" is a strong word. :lol

[Summers]

Every person I associate with has kids, some spank, and some don't; some have good kids, some have brats---I really haven't seen an association either way.

Maybe not if you're talking about the occasional, "All right, you've really mouthed off one last time today and I'm getting the spoon (or "reminder stick" as it's called in my house :lol)." But I've noticed the kids of parents who routinely overreact and go too far are monsters. It's sad, because they're fearful of their parents, but they haven't learned discipline or self-control, just that if they catch their mom in the wrong mood she's going to beat their ass. A friend of ours told me how she beat her four-year-old because he said the workd fuck. So... she tried to teach her child that saying the wrong word is bad by causing him pain... doesn't make sense to me.

[symple19]

caning ftw

[Goran Dragic]

This is a bunch of hog wash. I would have whooped you plenty.
Did your parents beat you every time you didn't grow enough tomatoes and curry?

[Goran Dragic]

And some kids need spankings, some kids need to get beat to a bloody pulp, and some kids don't need to get hit at all. It varies.

[easjer]

I don't have kids, but it wasn't that long ago that I was one. When a kid is spanked, he learns to think before he acts... he thinks of what the consequences might be and if you're getting spanked for it then it might be wrong. They don't think about right or wrong though, they think about whether they could get spanked for it. Yes, there is fear involved... but you need that. Respecting elders isn't bad either..

Eh, I tend to disagree. That's true of some kids - pretty effective for me as a child. I definitely thought about what might happen before I did things and the threat of a spanking was enough to get me shape up right away. I can probably count the total number of times I was ever spanked as a child.

My brother, on the other hand, was not that type of kid. He didn't like getting spanked, but it happened a lot - usually precisely because he didn't think. I can remember him getting spanked for wandering off at the park and getting lost when he was told to stay in a certain area, and for riding his bike directly out in front of a moving car. That never made him stop and think, because he continued to do dumb shit like that, got spanked and then forgot about it and then did it all over again.

However, taking away his bike made him remember. Making him spend three hours in the yard picking up rocks for backtalking my dad made him think. Being grounded and not allowed to watch tv or play video games or see his friends made him think (he had nothing else to do).

So . . . no spankings aren't always necessary or effective. Different children respond to different sorts of incentives.

And no, you should never beat your kids.

[easjer]

A friend of ours told me how she beat her four-year-old because he said the workd fuck. So... she tried to teach her child that saying the wrong word is bad by causing him pain... doesn't make sense to me.

I babysat for a couple who made their kids eat hot sauce or super hot salsa when they cursed. Not much, like a teaspoon, but that caused pain. Also seemed pretty effective. Never could quite decide how I felt about it.

[George W Bush]

My daddy mainly put me in what momma liked to call "time out".

They still make me mend fences all day long in the hot sun,
at my ranch in Crawford, Texas, when I'm bad.

It was terrible one evening. I wanted to watch I love Lucy, then go to my room
and make a plan to end the world, but daddy made me mend fences all night till I learned to eat my squash for supper.

That night I then decided to run for President of the United States of America.:tu

[lebomb]

warning, time-out, whuppin'. In that order.

X2 .............. this is exactly how I handle it. :hat

[lebomb]

One thing........... It also depends on the child..........my first two were good kids, maybe spanked them once each...........now my 4yr old......I spank him a few times each week...........when the warning and the time-out didnt do a damned thing.

[mrsmaalox]

One thing........... It also depends on the child..........my first two were good kids, maybe spanked them once each...........now my 4yr old......I spank him a few times each week...........when the warning and the time-out didnt do a damned thing.

Yes it does depend on the child; a spanking for my oldest would just strengthen his resolve, my middle child is the most defiant but also the one who is the quickest to realize the error of her ways, my youngest can be totally redirected with "the look".

While I am not against spanking, I am definitely against the mindset that spanking is the only way, the most effective way, or as one of the earlier posters noted several times, the easiest way to discipline. I don't like the "spanking for everyone" rule because for people who don't have experience with kids and are perhaps a bit lacking in reasoning skills, I've all too often seen it applied to 3 month olds who won't stop crying or 2 yr olds who wet their pants---all with very tragic results.

[marini martini]

Yes it does depend on the child; my youngest can be totally redirected with "the look".


The "smart ass"???

Really???:lmao

[Cry Havoc]

Huge difference between "beating" and "spanking".

No child should ever be "beaten" by their parents. There is a huge amount of research to suggest it heightens aggression, impatience, anti-social behavior, etc.

If you need to "beat" your kid to get them to behave, then you've already failed as a parent.

[bus driver]

I knew a guy who's dad threw gas on his leg and burned it because he broke a window when he was 8. The dad was drunk and the kid learned to not break windows anymore. The kid eventually became a serious drug addict and ended up dying in a drunken car accident later in life but he didn't break anymore windows. So I guess that punishment worked to an extent.


works for me, beating kids works!

[lebomb]

The arm bar, triangle and rear naked choke works as well. :hat

[CavsSuperFan]

Corporal punishment always has negative results…Teach your children, be a positive example, don’t hit them…

Look at it this way…Do you want your children to end up being 30 years old, living in your garage, posting hateful messages in Spurs Talk political forum, smoking marijuana, driving an old beat up Land Cruiser & thinking they have arrived…Well then just continue the awful cycle & beat your kids…

[Tod Pricket]

Looks like a lot of people in ST were beat when the were children. :depressed

[spursfaninla]

Let me guess, you are white.

Nope, wrong again.

My experience as a teacher, as a kid, and as a parent is that often parents hit or even yell at their kids when the parent has emotionally lost it and is frustrated or unable to deal with the situation. So the parent gets emotional satisfaction out of it.

I am not denying that a spanking is wrong in all cases for all kids. But I do think that a vast majority of kids can be trained without needing physical punishment. Again, that is from working with hundreds of kids over 10 years as a teacher.

[spursfaninla]

You HAVE to. Your children will become spoiled brats even as they grow if you don't give them some physical punishment. They think that "eh, mom/dad won't spank me anyway so I'll continue this shit"

But "beat" is a strong word. :lol

WRONG. My kid knows that if he pulls shit, his life will not be fun, and I don't have to touch him. Believe me, the thought of no TV or video games alone is a strong stick.

I have seen pretty "bad" kids as a teacher, and those kids were definitely motivated by recess. The kids that needed more were extreme exceptions.

[Melmart1]

Depends on the kid. I have seen plenty of kids who purposely misbehave so they can get spanked, because that is the only way the parents pay attention to them. In this case, they learn nothing from the spanking or beating other than 'well at least mommy/daddy paid attention to me."

It's sad, but true. I laugh when I see people talk about 'kids today' because those kids often don't know better, it's the parents who failed them.

[tlongII]

I beat my kids just for the hell of it. Only open-handed though. Sometimes backhand.