LOL Texans

[Steve Kerr]

No one finds your shtick funny, Texan fan or not, and you have some of the shittiest posts I've ever seen. I'm honestly amazed someone can be as much of a shitball poster as you are. I know you find yourself amusing even though everyone else (including other Colts fans) thinks you're beyond annoying and as far from funny as it gets, but could you at least make your shtick marginally tolerable for those who want to enjoy the NFL forum?

[LOL texans]

No one finds your shtick funny, Texan fan or not, and you have some of the shittiest posts I've ever seen. I'm honestly amazed someone can be as much of a shitball poster as you are. I know you find yourself amusing even though everyone else (including other Colts fans) thinks you're beyond annoying and as far from funny as it gets, but could you at least make your shtick marginally tolerable for those who want to enjoy the NFL forum?

Duly noted.

I guess this is when I'm suppose to apologize...wait for it...

























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...

[Steve Kerr]

That post only adds to the "as far from funny as it gets" opinion people have of you.

[IronMexican]

I want to believe LOL Texans is a BUMP or mono troll. It's too bad a poster for it not to be a troll. It's just bad. If it's a troll, 10/10.

[Steve Kerr]

It's too bad a poster for it not to be a troll..
The same could be said of benjarvusothellotron or lakasrool4eva. I know it sucks, but there are actually people out there that stupid.

[san antonio spurs]

Lol I think Steve Kerr is a DoK troll

[Steve Kerr]

Lol I think Steve Kerr is a DoK troll
I'll openly admit I am DoK. I've called LOL Texans out under my main account multiple times before.

[IronMexican]

Lol I think Steve Kerr is a DoK troll

Sherlock.



Anyways

rool4eva is a troll. He never steps into the Club, but goes in there to name-drop ICP? He does this with the Cowboys, and Yankees, as well. Obviss troll is obviss.

[san antonio spurs]

Sherlock.



Anyways

rool4eva is a troll. He never steps into the Club, but goes in there to name-drop ICP? He does this with the Cowboys, and Yankees, as well. Obviss troll is obviss.

Excuse me if I'm a bit late on that. It's that I don't live here:toast

[LOL texans]

...


wait..........

[LOL texans]

.........for

[LOL texans]

.................

[LOL texans]

..........it, Steve Kerr, God bless, just wait for it.............

[Steve Kerr]

Damn, you were hoping for people to come to your defense and no one has. Must suck, man.

[LOL texans]

apology is coming soon....you have to be patient Steve.....wait.....for......it........

[kamikazi_player]

He's alrite, sometimes his stuff is funny and sometimes he tries too hard.

[LOL texans]

...............................

[Dave Mustaine]

die fagle

[stretch]

its definitely a troll

I remember i was right about to make this troll too, but someone beat me to it. made it the exact same day I was planning to make it.

[LOL texans]

.............waaaaaaaaaait...........

[LOL texans]

.................................................. .................................................. ...... . . . . .

[symple19]

I still think it's a stretch troll

[LOL texans]

I still think it's a stretch troll

lol, I was thinking the same thing about you.

[symple19]

lol, I was thinking the same thing about you.

lol

[BUMP]

.................................................. .................................................. ...... . . . . .

http://img1.loadtr.com/b-385482-funny_birthday.jpg

[LOL texans]

.....................wait........for.........it... .................................................. .................................................. ..............................................

[LOL texans]

wait

[LOL texans]

for

[LOL texans]

it

[LOL texans]

....................

[benefactor]

Ok...I have a confession to make. I am responsible for LOL Texans. Allow me to tell you a story.

One night a long time ago I was hanging out with my buddy at his house...we'll call him Lyle...just chilling and trying to figure out what we were going to do with the evening. I asked Lyle if he had any alcohol and he said he had a gallon of gin he had picked up earlier in the day. I knew he was going to say this because Lyle was always drinking gin. I, OTOH, didn't really mess with it anymore because of the trouble it had the tendency to get me into(you'll find out about that in a little bit). I knew we were in a dry county and that the nearest beer store was 20 minutes away...so against my better judgment I told Lyle to break out the tonic and crack it open. Even as I mixed my first drink I knew that nothing good was going to come out of this evening.

We had spent about two hours drinking and watching Def Comedy Jam when the phone rang. I was one of Lyle's buddies wanting to go to the club. I was already starting to buzz pretty good and the thought of picking up a slut started to sound appealing...as it always does when I drink gin. We tell him to come on and he scoops us up and we head that way. En route to the club, Lyle and I finish that bottle of gin. We get there and Lyle and I both are well lit. We compose ourselves enough to not look completely wasted at the door and after we get inside we find a table to sit at, as walking at that current time was not recommended.

After about 15 minutes of chilling at the table a girl walks by and smiles at Lyle. We both notice it and smile at each other as Lyle gets up to go after her. After he leaves I start thinking of going on the hunt myself, but before I can get up this girl sits down in Lyle's now vacant seat and starts talking to me. She's not very attractive and kind of chunky, but her dress was very low cut and she was very well endowed. I figured I could probably talk her out of a few drinks and enjoy the view for a little bit before ditching her. On cue, she asked me what I would like. Gin and tonic. She spent the next 45 minutes or so talking about nothing I cared about and I spent it taking in gin and tonic's and staring at her breasts. With every drink I wondered more and more what they looked like under that dress.

Then the unthinkable happened. She leans over and asks me if I want to get out of here so she can show me what I've been looking at all evening. As she leans in, she slides my hand inside the top her dress allowing me to get a squeeze of one her huge melons. At this point I have lost all ability to reason and am only focused on one thing. I stand up, tuck the boner under the waistband and tell her to come with me. We walk rather briskly to the bathroom and pretty much shove her in a stall. She looks at me with look of mixed surprise and excitement as in one quick motion I spin her around, bend her over, raise her dress(no underwear), drop my pants and unleash my iron rod on her. The first 10 or 15 seconds things are fine, but then the most memorable part of the whole evening happened........the smell. It crept up slowly but once it arrived it was a mixture of 4 day old unwashed feet, butthole and rotten eggs. I had never experienced anything quite like it.

Now a sense of urgency grew in me. I was already in this nasty thing, so I wasn't removing the boner until I busted. I let go of one of her hip with my right hand to cover my nose and mouth, and continued to hang on tight with my left hand...all while increasing the speed and violence of each thrust. The sound was almost comical...every slap of the skin sounded like gunfire and she was making noises like a cow giving birth. Several times guys looked under the stall to make sure I wasn't killing her. Then finally it happened...explosion...oh shit...I didn't pull out. I pulled up my pants and quickly walked out of the restroom, wading through a sea of men who smiled and slapped my on the back as I left. They had no idea what I just went through.

I searched the club and found Lyle. I was still out of breath and I told him I was feeling sick and we needed to get the hell out of there. He was pissed at me because he had hooked up with that chick, but he could see in my eyes that something else was going on. We found our other friend who had brought us to the club and headed for the car. When we got there, I tried my best in my still half drunken state to explain to him what happened. He sat there for a minute with an expressionless look...then busted out laughing. I told him to fuck off and to take me home. He patted me on the shoulder and said not to worry.

A couple of months go by. Lyle was still seeing that chick but things were kind of weird because he soon found out the chick I plowed in the bathroom was her cousin. The girl figured out that Lyle was one of my friends and kept hounding her cousin to get my number from him. I told him I would kill him in his sleep if he did it. Then one day, Lyle comes up to me and hands me a phone number. "Dude, you need to call her. It's serious." What the hell could it be? It couldn't be any worse than the 2 weeks of antibiotics I had take for whatever crotch bug she gave me. "Just do it dude." Ok. I called and asked her what the hell she wanted. Two words dropped from her mouth like and into my face like a sledgehammer..."I'm pregnant." I told her it isn't mine and hung up. A week later her cousin gave a message for me to Lyle. She said I would need to come in for a paternity test or she would take me to court. I found out through the grapevine that 7 other guys got the same line from her. Poor bastards, they hit that nasty hole too. So we go in and as fate would have it, I'm the dad. I immediately find out what I need to do to give up my parental rights and tell that bitch to forget I ever existed.

Fast forward to now...I haven't heard from Lyle in quite a while but yesterday he calls me out of the blue. We catch up a little bit then he drops the bomb on me..."That bitches son has been looking for you." He had stayed in the know about her because he wound up marrying her cousin. "He's pissed because you've been bad mouthing his mom and he's trying to find ways to get back at you. He's even figured out about some sports message board that you chat on and he's been following you around on there pretending to be a fan of some football team that is Houston's division rival............."

Ho. ly. shit. It's LOL Texans. No wonder he is such a dumbass...the fruit didn't fall far from momma tree. I didn't really know how to deal with it at first. I got mad and lashed out a little last night but I knew that I needed to clear the air, which is why I tell this story today.

LOL Texans...I am sorry you are pissed at me. Nothing I have said about you mom is not true. She is a trash bag whore that I banged in the club in a bathroom stall because I was full of gin and lost compete control of my judgment. If you want to I will PM you Lyle's phone number and he can tell you that I have not touched that shit since. He can also tell you that SEVEN other guys were involved in the paternity testing. I'm sorry had to find out this way. I just want to move on from here and forget about it. I have a new family and I don't want to have anything to do with you. Move on with your life and try to make something good out of yourself. God be with you.

[DUNCANownsKOBE2]

:lmao if that's true

[Spursfan092120]

um....wow

[Spursfan092120]

would have been more epic if you didn't do the "wait for it" part.

[DUNCANownsKOBE2]

lol I just read the whole thing. Bullshit.

[Spursfan092120]

lol I just read the whole thing. Bullshit.
exactly...at least we know the troll...lol

[DUNCANownsKOBE2]

God I'm slow today.

[benefactor]

Forgive me, fellow NFL forum brethren. My seen has borne rotten fruit. :(

[Spursfan092120]

Forgive me, fellow NFL forum brethren. My seen has borne rotten fruit. :(
:lmao

[LOL texans]

Ok...I have a confession to make. I am responsible for LOL Texans. Allow me to tell you a story.

One night a long time ago I was hanging out with my buddy at his house...we'll call him Lyle...just chilling and trying to figure out what we were going to do with the evening. I asked Lyle if he had any alcohol and he said he had a gallon of gin he had picked up earlier in the day. I knew he was going to say this because Lyle was always drinking gin. I, OTOH, didn't really mess with it anymore because of the trouble it had the tendency to get me into(you'll find out about that in a little bit). I knew we were in a dry county and that the nearest beer store was 20 minutes away...so against my better judgment I told Lyle to break out the tonic and crack it open. Even as I mixed my first drink I knew that nothing good was going to come out of this evening.

We had spent about two hours drinking and watching Def Comedy Jam when the phone rang. I was one of Lyle's buddies wanting to go to the club. I was already starting to buzz pretty good and the thought of picking up a slut started to sound appealing...as it always does when I drink gin. We tell him to come on and he scoops us up and we head that way. En route to the club, Lyle and I finish that bottle of gin. We get there and Lyle and I both are well lit. We compose ourselves enough to not look completely wasted at the door and after we get inside we find a table to sit at, as walking at that current time was not recommended.

After about 15 minutes of chilling at the table a girl walks by and smiles at Lyle. We both notice it and smile at each other as Lyle gets up to go after her. After he leaves I start thinking of going on the hunt myself, but before I can get up this girl sits down in Lyle's now vacant seat and starts talking to me. She's not very attractive and kind of chunky, but her dress was very low cut and she was very well endowed. I figured I could probably talk her out of a few drinks and enjoy the view for a little bit before ditching her. On cue, she asked me what I would like. Gin and tonic. She spent the next 45 minutes or so talking about nothing I cared about and I spent it taking in gin and tonic's and staring at her breasts. With every drink I wondered more and more what they looked like under that dress.

Then the unthinkable happened. She leans over and asks me if I want to get out of here so she can show me what I've been looking at all evening. As she leans in, she slides my hand inside the top her dress allowing me to get a squeeze of one her huge melons. At this point I have lost all ability to reason and am only focused on one thing. I stand up, tuck the boner under the waistband and tell her to come with me. We walk rather briskly to the bathroom and pretty much shove her in a stall. She looks at me with look of mixed surprise and excitement as in one quick motion I spin her around, bend her over, raise her dress(no underwear), drop my pants and unleash my iron rod on her. The first 10 or 15 seconds things are fine, but then the most memorable part of the whole evening happened........the smell. It crept up slowly but once it arrived it was a mixture of 4 day old unwashed feet, butthole and rotten eggs. I had never experienced anything quite like it.

Now a sense of urgency grew in me. I was already in this nasty thing, so I wasn't removing the boner until I busted. I let go of one of her hip with my right hand to cover my nose and mouth, and continued to hang on tight with my left hand...all while increasing the speed and violence of each thrust. The sound was almost comical...every slap of the skin sounded like gunfire and she was making noises like a cow giving birth. Several times guys looked under the stall to make sure I wasn't killing her. Then finally it happened...explosion...oh shit...I didn't pull out. I pulled up my pants and quickly walked out of the restroom, wading through a sea of men who smiled and slapped my on the back as I left. They had no idea what I just went through.

I searched the club and found Lyle. I was still out of breath and I told him I was feeling sick and we needed to get the hell out of there. He was pissed at me because he had hooked up with that chick, but he could see in my eyes that something else was going on. We found our other friend who had brought us to the club and headed for the car. When we got there, I tried my best in my still half drunken state to explain to him what happened. He sat there for a minute with an expressionless look...then busted out laughing. I told him to fuck off and to take me home. He patted me on the shoulder and said not to worry.

A couple of months go by. Lyle was still seeing that chick but things were kind of weird because he soon found out the chick I plowed in the bathroom was her cousin. The girl figured out that Lyle was one of my friends and kept hounding her cousin to get my number from him. I told him I would kill him in his sleep if he did it. Then one day, Lyle comes up to me and hands me a phone number. "Dude, you need to call her. It's serious." What the hell could it be? It couldn't be any worse than the 2 weeks of antibiotics I had take for whatever crotch bug she gave me. "Just do it dude." Ok. I called and asked her what the hell she wanted. Two words dropped from her mouth like and into my face like a sledgehammer..."I'm pregnant." I told her it isn't mine and hung up. A week later her cousin gave a message for me to Lyle. She said I would need to come in for a paternity test or she would take me to court. I found out through the grapevine that 7 other guys got the same line from her. Poor bastards, they hit that nasty hole too. So we go in and as fate would have it, I'm the dad. I immediately find out what I need to do to give up my parental rights and tell that bitch to forget I ever existed.

Fast forward to now...I haven't heard from Lyle in quite a while but yesterday he calls me out of the blue. We catch up a little bit then he drops the bomb on me..."That bitches son has been looking for you." He had stayed in the know about her because he wound up marrying her cousin. "He's pissed because you've been bad mouthing his mom and he's trying to find ways to get back at you. He's even figured out about some sports message board that you chat on and he's been following you around on there pretending to be a fan of some football team that is Houston's division rival............."

Ho. ly. shit. It's LOL Texans. No wonder he is such a dumbass...the fruit didn't fall far from momma tree. I didn't really know how to deal with it at first. I got mad and lashed out a little last night but I knew that I needed to clear the air, which is why I tell this story today.

LOL Texans...I am sorry you are pissed at me. Nothing I have said about you mom is not true. She is a trash bag whore that I banged in the club in a bathroom stall because I was full of gin and lost compete control of my judgment. If you want to I will PM you Lyle's phone number and he can tell you that I have not touched that shit since. He can also tell you that SEVEN other guys were involved in the paternity testing. I'm sorry had to find out this way. I just want to move on from here and forget about it. I have a new family and I don't want to have anything to do with you. Move on with your life and try to make something good out of yourself. God be with you.


:lmao,:lmao,:lmao,:lmao,:lmao,:lmao

lol owning benefactor

lol old man trying to keep up

lol me talking about fucking his wife, so he responds about fucking my mother

lol me being so far in benefactors head

[benefactor]

I know that you are mad that I didn't marry your mom and that's why you make the comments you make about your stepmom. Just understand that your mom was not marrying material. I can't marry some chick that banged seven other guys around the same time I made the mistake of doing it. Plus that smell....God that smell.

Just see your mom for what she is and you will get past this fixation you have for revenge much sooner.

[4>0rings]

Ok...I have a confession to make. I am responsible for LOL Texans. Allow me to tell you a story.

One night a long time ago I was hanging out with my buddy at his house...we'll call him Lyle...just chilling and trying to figure out what we were going to do with the evening. I asked Lyle if he had any alcohol and he said he had a gallon of gin he had picked up earlier in the day. I knew he was going to say this because Lyle was always drinking gin. I, OTOH, didn't really mess with it anymore because of the trouble it had the tendency to get me into(you'll find out about that in a little bit). I knew we were in a dry county and that the nearest beer store was 20 minutes away...so against my better judgment I told Lyle to break out the tonic and crack it open. Even as I mixed my first drink I knew that nothing good was going to come out of this evening.

We had spent about two hours drinking and watching Def Comedy Jam when the phone rang. I was one of Lyle's buddies wanting to go to the club. I was already starting to buzz pretty good and the thought of picking up a slut started to sound appealing...as it always does when I drink gin. We tell him to come on and he scoops us up and we head that way. En route to the club, Lyle and I finish that bottle of gin. We get there and Lyle and I both are well lit. We compose ourselves enough to not look completely wasted at the door and after we get inside we find a table to sit at, as walking at that current time was not recommended.

After about 15 minutes of chilling at the table a girl walks by and smiles at Lyle. We both notice it and smile at each other as Lyle gets up to go after her. After he leaves I start thinking of going on the hunt myself, but before I can get up this girl sits down in Lyle's now vacant seat and starts talking to me. She's not very attractive and kind of chunky, but her dress was very low cut and she was very well endowed. I figured I could probably talk her out of a few drinks and enjoy the view for a little bit before ditching her. On cue, she asked me what I would like. Gin and tonic. She spent the next 45 minutes or so talking about nothing I cared about and I spent it taking in gin and tonic's and staring at her breasts. With every drink I wondered more and more what they looked like under that dress.

Then the unthinkable happened. She leans over and asks me if I want to get out of here so she can show me what I've been looking at all evening. As she leans in, she slides my hand inside the top her dress allowing me to get a squeeze of one her huge melons. At this point I have lost all ability to reason and am only focused on one thing. I stand up, tuck the boner under the waistband and tell her to come with me. We walk rather briskly to the bathroom and pretty much shove her in a stall. She looks at me with look of mixed surprise and excitement as in one quick motion I spin her around, bend her over, raise her dress(no underwear), drop my pants and unleash my iron rod on her. The first 10 or 15 seconds things are fine, but then the most memorable part of the whole evening happened........the smell. It crept up slowly but once it arrived it was a mixture of 4 day old unwashed feet, butthole and rotten eggs. I had never experienced anything quite like it.

Now a sense of urgency grew in me. I was already in this nasty thing, so I wasn't removing the boner until I busted. I let go of one of her hip with my right hand to cover my nose and mouth, and continued to hang on tight with my left hand...all while increasing the speed and violence of each thrust. The sound was almost comical...every slap of the skin sounded like gunfire and she was making noises like a cow giving birth. Several times guys looked under the stall to make sure I wasn't killing her. Then finally it happened...explosion...oh shit...I didn't pull out. I pulled up my pants and quickly walked out of the restroom, wading through a sea of men who smiled and slapped my on the back as I left. They had no idea what I just went through.

I searched the club and found Lyle. I was still out of breath and I told him I was feeling sick and we needed to get the hell out of there. He was pissed at me because he had hooked up with that chick, but he could see in my eyes that something else was going on. We found our other friend who had brought us to the club and headed for the car. When we got there, I tried my best in my still half drunken state to explain to him what happened. He sat there for a minute with an expressionless look...then busted out laughing. I told him to fuck off and to take me home. He patted me on the shoulder and said not to worry.

A couple of months go by. Lyle was still seeing that chick but things were kind of weird because he soon found out the chick I plowed in the bathroom was her cousin. The girl figured out that Lyle was one of my friends and kept hounding her cousin to get my number from him. I told him I would kill him in his sleep if he did it. Then one day, Lyle comes up to me and hands me a phone number. "Dude, you need to call her. It's serious." What the hell could it be? It couldn't be any worse than the 2 weeks of antibiotics I had take for whatever crotch bug she gave me. "Just do it dude." Ok. I called and asked her what the hell she wanted. Two words dropped from her mouth like and into my face like a sledgehammer..."I'm pregnant." I told her it isn't mine and hung up. A week later her cousin gave a message for me to Lyle. She said I would need to come in for a paternity test or she would take me to court. I found out through the grapevine that 7 other guys got the same line from her. Poor bastards, they hit that nasty hole too. So we go in and as fate would have it, I'm the dad. I immediately find out what I need to do to give up my parental rights and tell that bitch to forget I ever existed.

Fast forward to now...I haven't heard from Lyle in quite a while but yesterday he calls me out of the blue. We catch up a little bit then he drops the bomb on me..."That bitches son has been looking for you." He had stayed in the know about her because he wound up marrying her cousin. "He's pissed because you've been bad mouthing his mom and he's trying to find ways to get back at you. He's even figured out about some sports message board that you chat on and he's been following you around on there pretending to be a fan of some football team that is Houston's division rival............."

Ho. ly. shit. It's LOL Texans. No wonder he is such a dumbass...the fruit didn't fall far from momma tree. I didn't really know how to deal with it at first. I got mad and lashed out a little last night but I knew that I needed to clear the air, which is why I tell this story today.

LOL Texans...I am sorry you are pissed at me. Nothing I have said about you mom is not true. She is a trash bag whore that I banged in the club in a bathroom stall because I was full of gin and lost compete control of my judgment. If you want to I will PM you Lyle's phone number and he can tell you that I have not touched that shit since. He can also tell you that SEVEN other guys were involved in the paternity testing. I'm sorry had to find out this way. I just want to move on from here and forget about it. I have a new family and I don't want to have anything to do with you. Move on with your life and try to make something good out of yourself. God be with you.
:lmao

You lost me at 2 guys finishing a gallon bottle of gin though.

[Spursfan092120]

:lmao

You lost me at 2 guys finishing a gallon bottle of gin though.
tbh he didn't say how much was left...he said the guy had picked it up earlier in the day, but who knows how much was left?

[LOL texans]

I know that you are mad that I didn't marry your mom and that's why you make the comments you make about your stepmom. Just understand that your mom was not marrying material. I can't marry some chick that banged seven other guys around the same time I made the mistake of doing it. Plus that smell....God that smell.

Just see your mom for what she is and you will get past this fixation you have for revenge much sooner.

Okay old man, I can play along....

Sorry "dad". I'm sorry my friends and I gave your wife a bukakee in revenge. Sorry I've been revenge fucking her in the ass all last spring, but she likes to lick her shit off my dick. Who was I to say no when I was sooooo mad at you.

So yeah, sorry you had to be kissing you wife and her LOL texan-shit breath

[benefactor]

tbh he didn't say how much was left...he said the guy had picked it up earlier in the day, but who knows how much was left?
It was a new bottle. He got it after work before he headed to the house.

[4>0rings]

Okay old man, I can play along....

Sorry "dad". I'm sorry my friends and I gave your wife a bukakee in revenge. Sorry I've been revenge fucking her in the ass all last spring, but she likes to lick her shit off my dick. Who was I to say no when I was sooooo mad at you.

So yeah, sorry you had to be kissing you wife and her LOL texan-shit breath
http://www.gogaminggiant.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/facepalm.jpg

Take you being owned like a man and move on.

[Spursfan092120]

It was a new bottle. He got it after work before he headed to the house.
:lmao
























:wow
damn that's a lot of booze.

[benefactor]

Okay old man, I can play along....

Sorry "dad". I'm sorry my friends and I gave your wife a bukakee in revenge. Sorry I've been revenge fucking her in the ass all last spring, but she likes to lick her shit off my dick. Who was I to say no when I was sooooo mad at you.

So yeah, sorry you had to be kissing you wife and her LOL texan-shit breath
I expected this response.

Look..it's gonna take a while to process all of this so we should probably quit talking about it for now. Just know that every detail of the story is true, regardless of what your mom told you.

[benefactor]

:lmao
























:wow
damn that's a lot of booze.
Tell me about it. I woke up with one helluva headache and itchy balls.

[LOL texans]

I expected this response.

Look..it's gonna take a while to process all of this so we should probably quit talking about it for now. Just know that every detail of the story is true, regardless of what your mom told you.


lol

Owned

[AlleyOopNazi]

lol retard posters

[Blake]

so we should probably quit talking about it for now.


I have itchy balls.

pWrxGxDqx9k&NR=1