View Full Version : New Handbook helps new zombies adjust to zombie life
PakiDan
10-19-2010, 11:51 AM
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51T5CpwuqlL._SL500_AA300_.jpg
There is more to undeath than shambling around in search of brains to eat, but not much more, according to this short but detailed look at the new zombie, or zed, lifestyle. Filled with deadpan tips on how to succeed in the coming zombie apocalypse, it covers the basics of caring for decomposing flesh ( If you experience an extreme freeze... your extremities should continue to function until they fall off ), practical suggestions for overcoming obstacles, and instructions for attacking the living ( The only thing more lethal than you is you on fire! ). The blood-splattered pages contain copious diagrams, such as a zombie food pyramid, pie charts of infection methods, and instructions for operating doorknobs. The illustrations are as grossly explicit as the text is employee-handbook underplayed, making this an excellent choice for the zombie completist.
Copyright Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
http://www.amazon.com/So-Now-Youre-Zombie-Handbook/dp/1569763429
BlackSwordsMan
10-19-2010, 01:55 PM
Speaking of zombies new show on AMC this halloween.
The Reckoning
10-19-2010, 02:15 PM
legit question. whats the deal with zombies being so popular? is it a reference to what we've become in todays society?
hater
10-19-2010, 02:30 PM
good question.
IMO has to do with the fact that no matter if you're rich, poor, black, white, etc. You can still end up a zombie. no social group is safe from zombies. And once you become a zombie you automatically resign from other social groups. You are a zombie first and foremost.
that plus the fact you can shoot them in the face.
BlackSwordsMan
10-19-2010, 04:56 PM
Its like the civil war you gotta kill people you know
mrsmaalox
10-19-2010, 04:59 PM
Zombies>vampires, werewolves
PakiDan
10-19-2010, 05:03 PM
Instructions for operating doorknobs... LOL!!!
Summers
10-19-2010, 05:19 PM
It's because zombies are funny and repulsive. I'd like to get this book for RG for Christmas, but I assume he's already seen this thread and ordered it for himself.
desflood
10-19-2010, 10:40 PM
Yes, that's joining my library very soon.
Ignignokt
10-20-2010, 01:13 AM
I hate this whole Ninja Pirate zombie running gag since the midhalf of the decade. It's the ass bile of the age of irony and could quite frankly give a fuck. Any of you assholes who replied to this thread with positive feedback are a bunch of low life cucks.
Last time some asshole asked me "Who would you pick, Ninja's or Pirates" on a facebook IM, i just scoffed him and told him "The tribe of Judah, and it's secular world Juden."
Fuck you all.
I hope you have a shit weekend.
I hate this whole Ninja Pirate zombie running gag since the midhalf of the decade. It's the ass bile of the age of irony and could quite frankly give a fuck. Any of you assholes who replied to this thread with positive feedback are a bunch of low life cucks.
Last time some asshole asked me "Who would you pick, Ninja's or Pirates" on a facebook IM, i just scoffed him and told him "The tribe of Judah, and it's secular world Juden."
Fuck you all.
I hope you have a shit weekend.
Ninjas will kick the shit out of that tribe.
Ignignokt
10-20-2010, 01:50 AM
Ninjas will kick the shit out of that tribe.
You are a faggot, and hopefully your tribe will stone you to death.
They wont be able to hit me. Im a ninja.
ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja
PakiDan
10-20-2010, 10:19 AM
ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja
:rollin
BlairForceDejuan
10-20-2010, 10:23 AM
Speaking of zombies new show on AMC this halloween.
:toast
DisAsTerBot
10-20-2010, 10:34 AM
I hate this whole Ninja Pirate zombie running gag since the midhalf of the decade. It's the ass bile of the age of irony and could quite frankly give a fuck. Any of you assholes who replied to this thread with positive feedback are a bunch of low life cucks.
Last time some asshole asked me "Who would you pick, Ninja's or Pirates" on a facebook IM, i just scoffed him and told him "The tribe of Judah, and it's secular world Juden."
Fuck you all.
I hope you have a shit weekend.
lol running gag since the midhalf of the decade
lol age of irony
lol facebook.
benefactor
10-20-2010, 11:52 AM
Yes, that's joining my library very soon.
:tu
LoneStarState'sPride
10-20-2010, 12:09 PM
the fact you can shoot them in the face.
Bingo. Moviegoers crave wanton violence on a certain level, and zombies really are the last "group" which it's politically correct to slaughter onscreen.
Ignignokt
10-20-2010, 04:22 PM
lol running gag since the midhalf of the decade
lol age of irony
lol facebook.
lol Unpaid Calf Tat Defense team
lol Disastorbot on the internet, Failbot in real life
lol male secretary
BlackSwordsMan
10-20-2010, 04:23 PM
lol running gag since the midhalf of the decade
lol age of irony
lol facebook.
:lol
DisAsTerBot
10-20-2010, 04:35 PM
lol Unpaid Calf Tat Defense team
lol Disastorbot on the internet, Failbot in real life
lol male secretary
right on time.
hooray, school is out!
Ignignokt
10-20-2010, 04:42 PM
right on time.
hooray, school is out!
Your mom is pleased. She can make me some milk chocolate ovaltine while I survey her anus with my big tool.
DisAsTerBot
10-20-2010, 04:46 PM
again. right on time.
easiest troll to troll
Ignignokt
10-20-2010, 05:38 PM
again. right on time.
easiest troll to troll
PakiDan
10-20-2010, 05:42 PM
again. right on time.
easiest troll to troll
I'm rubber, you're glue!....
Ignignokt
10-20-2010, 05:47 PM
I'm rubber, you're glue!....
At least I'm not some pity seeking rat.
PakiDan
10-20-2010, 05:52 PM
At least I'm not some pity seeking rat.
Hahaha.... oh here we go! Yeah - ok.
BlackSwordsMan
10-20-2010, 06:42 PM
How did this become a topic about negativity? We were talking about zombies.
Ignignokt
10-20-2010, 10:19 PM
How did this become a topic about negativity? We were talking about zombies.
Quirky Indy topics!!
PakiDan
10-20-2010, 10:58 PM
How did this become a topic about negativity? We were talking about zombies.
GREAT question!
Nathan Explosion
10-21-2010, 12:43 AM
good question.
IMO has to do with the fact that no matter if you're rich, poor, black, white, etc. You can still end up a zombie. no social group is safe from zombies. And once you become a zombie you automatically resign from other social groups. You are a zombie first and foremost.
that plus the fact you can shoot them in the face.
That sounds like commie talk to me, what with being without social classes and putting the whole before the individual.
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