Basketball tips...

[Supreme_Being]

Right, so I'm not really good at playing basketball (I like watching it than playing it), but because I'm a bit taller than my colleagues I've been chosen to represent my school at some random sports fest. I play the 5 position (centre) and I've no idea how to play it except rebound and 1 post move (a simple up and under). Any tips on how to not get myself emabarrased and perfrom a bit decently?


TIA

[lefty]

High pick'n'rolls

[DAF86]

Pinch your opponents when fighting for a rebound.

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

Watch youtube clips of Tim Duncan. Do exactly what he does. Then spit in the face of anyone who refers to you as the center.

[stretch]

just focus on setting solid screens, boxing out for rebounds, and clogging the lane on defense.

[Texas_Ranger]

Just get some rebounds, and shoot when you're open. Don't try too much.
And if you want to be pretty good at basketball in the future go on the playground and train like 5 times a week.

[DAF86]

Don't use deodorant, and play shirtless if you're allowed to.

[thispego]

Right, so I'm not really good at playing basketball (I like watching it than playing it), but because I'm a bit taller than my colleagues I've been chosen to represent my school at some random sports fest. I play the 5 position (centre) and I've no idea how to play it except rebound and 1 post move (a simple up and under). Any tips on how to not get myself emabarrased and perfrom a bit decently?


TIA

Try not to get aroused when your opponent tries to post you up. We all know how you gay people are

[Fpoonsie]

just focus on setting solid screens, boxing out for rebounds, and clogging the lane on defense.

Pretty much this.

What you lack in fundamentals, athleticism and pure skill, you can make up for in simply taking up space. Watch any vids of Shaq over the last 3-4 years. Study it. And then take that knowledge to the court w/ you.

[lefty]

Shoot fadeaway turnaround 3's

[phxspurfan]

When you grab rebounds, pull the ball down to your chest so people don't take the ball away from you. Happened to me once in tournament play

[lefty]

When you grab rebounds, pull the ball down to your chest so people don't take the ball away from you. Happened to me once in tournament play
Let's see if he can grab a rebound first

[Gutter92]

Any tips on how to not get myself emabarrased and perfrom a bit decently?


TIA
Alright...where to begin...


1.A Fake an injury
1.B Get arrested
1.C Actually injure yourself
1.D Don't go, say you got the date wrong
1.E Say you didn't even know you'd been selected
1.F Tell your coach you're on your period




Then, you have the situation where you actually play...which is gonna be a tough one...

2A) Don't shoot the ball.
2B) Don't touch the ball.
2C) Don't make eye contact with a teammate who has the ball, just in case he is under the delusion you're good and tries to set you up with a freebie.
2D) Don't rebound a ball, because lets face it, you'll drop it out of bounds, or pass it to the other team.
2E) Don't set screens because you're probably gonna set a moving screen
2F) If for some reason the ball bounces to you, let it go past you. Sure, your team lost the ball, but at least you didn't touch it, right?
2G) If for some reason there is a technical foul on the other team, get the fuck away from the free throw line so you don't have to go against rules 2A & 2B

We've pretty much covered the bases for offense here.



Defense:

3A) Stand in the paint, but stay within arms length of the man you're guarding (more on this later)
3B) Always remember where the referee's are. I'm guessing there are going to be two at your game?
3C) Pinch your opponents butt. No better way to get under their skin. Do it repeatedly, when the refs are not watching. Your opponent will be a bitch and tell the ref most likely which is a GOOD thing...because, luckily for you, you've got 4 other pussies on your team pinching some ass too, while only two refs are watching. At one point or another, your opponents will get frustrated and start throwing elbows at you, in which case, you have two options: duck the elbow, or take the foul and act really injured so you don't have to shoot the free throw. Since you said you're tall, I'm gonna take that as "uncoordinated" and "slow", so you're better off with the latter option.

If for some reason you aren't starting the game (in your case, I'm guessing this is best case scenario), the best way to ensure you will not get put in is maintain eye contact with the coach. At all times. Your best bet is to take the seat right next to him and stare at him; he'll notice, and it'll be uncomfortable as fuck for him to have someone staring at him, especially from right next to him. If for some fucked up reason he still puts you in the game, well...I outlined your options above.


Hope this helped

[monosylab1k]

Put safety pins in your elbow pads, sharp side out. Give your opponent a few elbows during the game. Wear steel toed boots and stomp on your opponents feet and kick them in the shin.

Now as long as you hurt the other kid as bad or worse than he hurts you, you will have done your job. And I'll be proud of you.

[DPG21920]

Pass to Mono. You'll look great.

[KapitanTutan]

go for a fadeaway dunk

[MI21]

When you grab rebounds, pull the ball down to your chest so people don't take the ball away from you. Happened to me once in tournament play

If you are tall the idea is to keep your hands high as to allow for a quick outlet and keeping the swiping guards out of reach of the ball. Bringing the ball lower makes a quick outlet harder and it easier for smaller players to force a jump ball or swipe at it.

[pawe]

go for a fadeaway dunk

Wow, Im guessing that's a Filipino joke? Because that joke is ancient.

[Duff McCartney]

Right, so I'm not really good at playing basketball (I like watching it than playing it), but because I'm a bit taller than my colleagues I've been chosen to represent my school at some random sports fest. I play the 5 position (centre) and I've no idea how to play it except rebound and 1 post move (a simple up and under).

Start hogging the calories and get yourself near 300 pounds...and you'll be just like Shaq.