Bonku

[Blackjack]

Bonku: Haiku to the stylings of Matt Bonner.

http://thescore.vo.llnwd.net/o25/fromGVG/BonnerThumb.jpg

I am tall and white

I shoot the 3 day and night

Make me a sandwich . . .

[Blackjack]

The ginger ablaze

His playing time never wanes

He spaces the floor

[ALVAREZ6]

He can be decent
But always blows in playoffs
Useless overall

[Blackjack]

You want some defense?

Rebounding and a post game?

I space the floor great

[Dex]

Hands up in the air

But feet never leave the ground

Thats pool boy defense

[ElNono]

Best 3pt shooter in the NBA

That's why Pop loves me

Dirk ate my sandwich

[Dex]

Red streak 'cross the court

The Rocket out on the break

There goes a T-Rex

[Blackjack]

The positioning

The grace that of a caveman

He tries really hard

[Blackjack]

Pop tells me to shoot

Or bench me, oh yes he will

Championship hopes

[Dex]

I just shoot some threes

Then throw up some lame runners

Then shoot some more threes

[Blackjack]

Dex just put it down

I am laughing my ass off

But crying inside

[TJastal]

lol raising the bar

[Blackjack]

lol raising the bar

It's five-seven-five

If TJ can't hang get out

Matt's better than you

[jaffies]

Was gonna post, but...
Does CROFL have syllables?
Gonna go with two.

[jjktkk]

Wow. I thought it took more than one bad game to start a Bonner sucks thread.

[Blackjack]

Was gonna post, but...
Does CROFL have syllables?
Gonna go with two.


http://a.espncdn.com/i/magazine/new/040604_lane.jpg

I'll allow it. :tu

[jaffies]

Wow. I thought it took more than one bad game to start a Bonner sucks thread.

It's a free country!...
...wait...I'm doing it again!
Can't....stop........haikuing!!

[Blackjack]

Wow. I thought it took more than one bad game to start a Bonner sucks thread.

Bonku is an art

Interpretation varies

Just eat a sandwich

[ElNono]

Wow. I thought it took more than one bad game to start a Bonner sucks thread.

It's called humor...
You should try it sometime...

[jjktkk]

It's called humor...
You should try it sometime...

I was. You trying to say keep my day job?

[ElNono]

I was. You trying to say keep my day job?

It came across kinda douchey actually... but if you say it was humor, it's all good... :lol

[ALVAREZ6]

Bonner is funny
Makes me laugh while on the court
What a goofy guy

[Blackjack]

To be or not to

B, as in Bonner, Matty

Ain't Scalabrine

[TJastal]

Don't run Bonner off that line

He'll make you ride the pine

And then take you out for some fine dine'

[Blackjack]

Don't run Bonner off that line

He'll make you ride the pine

And then take you out for some fine dine'

I applaud the attempt and/or you being rebellion with the 5-7-5 format. :tu

[Mel_13]

Wow. I thought it took more than one bad game to start a Bonner sucks thread.

You're pissing up a rope
Go with the flow not against
T-Rex arms are funny

[Mel_13]

New thread name: Bonka?
Bonner Udoka hybrid
Pop's new favorite player

[Mel_13]

Tony four for twelve
One assist four turnovers
Want me some Parkus

[Mel_13]

Hang in there Spur Fan
Splitter on Oberto Plan
Just wait til next year

[Mel_13]

November win streak
Dies a predictable death
Red Rocket for threeeeeee!

[GoSpurs99]

T-Rex runs ablaze

Head fake shakes my kid sister

Conan O'brien

[yavozerb]

Who is that white guy
Why does he run so funny
Tjastal, dont cry

[TJastal]

Hang in there Spur Fan
Splitter on Oberto Plan
Just wait til next year

Lockout might be a looming
Splitter won't be blooming
With so few minutes grooming

[Mel_13]

Must write more Bonkus
The hilarity never ends
Bonner drives the lane!

[yavozerb]

Ahhh, bonku is good
Bonku is how the world turns
Bonku relegion

[yavozerb]

My name is Bonner
To shoot it or not to shoot
That is the question

[Mel_13]

Lockout might be a looming
Splitter won't be blooming
With so few minutes grooming

This Bonku fails
Five seven five need not rhyme
Go try limericks

[Mel_13]

My name is Bonner
To shoot it or not to shoot
That is the question

Answer is to shoot
Pop will bench him if he won't
Red Rocket for threeeeee!

[yavozerb]

Lockout might be a looming
Splitter won't be blooming
With so few minutes grooming

Bonku is an art
Some will try and most will fail
Stick to comic books
:lol

[Bender]

Three point shooting champ
He runs like Herman Munster
The Sandwich Hunter

[TJastal]

Yavozerb has dilemna
All seven feet is handcuffed
But Pop likes Bonner

[Leonard Curse]

Wow. I thought it took more than one bad game to start a Bonner sucks thread.

dont act like i hate bonner when we lose i always hate the guy.

[Solid D]

I'll get you there but
playoffs, I'm a sitter, use
Tiago Splitter

[BlairForceDejuan]

I have no post game,
Nicest player in the league,
Straight Outta Concord.

[Blackjack]

Mel destroys Bonku

Bonner-Udoka hybrid?

Want me some Parkus? :rollin

[Blackjack]

New Hampshire born, bread

That's right, bread as in sandwich

Bonner's 3-point meal

[Blackjack]

I have no post game,
Nicest player in the league,
Straight Outta Concord.

Seriously, that's a Weird Al video in the making. Somebody get on that. :tu

[jimo2305]

Red Rocket Matt Bonner
Still not Bogans or Roger
Keep stretching the D

[Blackjack]

Bonner may be Dirk

With red hair, less height and talent

But details, really

[TJastal]

Crotch rockets are fun
Until you splitter your pants
And your asshole burns

[Russ]

I am the only one who can't fucking stand haikus?

[benefactor]

Is that red hair black?
Skin seems suddenly darker
Looks just like Horry

[Mel_13]

I am the only one who can't fucking stand haikus?

Many feel like you
They just don't post in this thread
Bonku for the win

[Mel_13]

Could be even worse
Twenty million for Rashard
Produces same as Matt

[ShoogarBear]

In a playoff dream
Matt Bonner hits a clutch shot
And green pigs slam dunk

[ShoogarBear]

And then a nightmare
Pop subs for the Red Rocket
And puts in Jacque Vaughn

[ShoogarBear]

He pulls down the three
Dribbles in for the hook shot
The crowd sends a gasp

[DieHardSpursFan1537]

Gonna shoot some 3's
Then play some really bad D.
And go eat another Sandwich with Cheese

[Blackjack]

Matt Bonner skyhook

Kareem Abdul-JaBonner

Hall of Fame awaits

[iManu]

Banana peppers
Whole wheat with light mayo, please
Vinegar tuna

[cdcast]

A Bonner nightmare
Pop and Spurs fans go "OH NO!!!!!!"
Two dribbles then CLANK

:depressed

[Dex]

Time stops in its tracks

A hush falls over the crowd

Bonner blocked a shot :wow

[SpursRulez4eVeR]

tiago's here
oh wait here comes bonner
miss 3's and no D

[Blackjack]

I come from Brazil

The Spanish League M.V.P.

Bonner I am not :depressed

[SpursRulez4eVeR]

i pumpfake the three
put the ball on the floor
and you know the rest

[Blackjack]

The opposition

They are always so thankful

With my floor presence

[Mel_13]

Mason, Bogans gone
Two outta three ain't bad, but
Oh what could have been

[Blackjack]

I talked with Coach Pop

It was over at Subway

Tiago valeted

[TJastal]

I talked with Coach Pop

It was over at Subway

Tiago valeted

TI-A-GO

You scored a hat trick there, Black :tu :clap

[Blackjack]

It really is a great name: Tiago . . .

[SpursRulez4eVeR]

bonner both hands up
and 1 opportunity
bonner with the foul

[angelbelow]

Bonner likes sandwiches

but can bonner make sandwiches?

or does bonner just buy his sandwiches?

[ShoogarBear]

He pulls down the three
Dribbles in for the hook shot
The crowd sends a gasp


i pumpfake the three
put the ball on the floor
and you know the rest

You win. :depressed





No wait . . .

1-2-3-4-5 . . only 6!


:danceclub

[cdcast]

Bonner hesitates
He drives down the lane.... oh look,
A "Bonner Sucks" thread

[Agloco]

Sudoka brown arm
Enters game with Red Rocket
Disaster soon comes

[Solid D]

Bonner is Bonner
Visions of Tony Parker
dancing in ducks head

[Fabbs]

Good work guys :lol :toast

Clang, clang inside arc
like drummer boy hits cymbal
I am Matt Bonner

[Fabbs]

oil, oil, massage too.
Here comes T_Park and Chumpy
post game ritual

[angelbelow]

Wow. I thought it took more than one bad game to start a Bonner sucks thread.

Is this your first season as a spurs fan?

[Blackjack]

He's no Mike Finley

And Pop will concede that point

But he sure shoots threes

[jjktkk]

If Tony just passes me the ball without the whine, I'll start jacking 3's in no time.

[Blackjack]

I am efficient

I am economical

I am a Grand Prix

[benefactor]

Red Rocket blasts off
With star level plus minus
Wait...what's a rebound?

[spurs2112]

Gets to much minutes
Pop needs to play Splitter or
No parade in spring

[objective]

Thought he spread the floor?

ABSOLUTE PLAYOFF FAILURE.

Splitter benched for good.

[Blackjack]

Advanced statistics

The Prince of the Plus-Minus

objective objects :smokin

[Blackjack]

You want me to start

You know you need me to start

No, Tiago, no

[Blackjack]

It is not my fault

The floor cannot spread itself

Pop's priorities

[Cessation]

Blackjack is good at this.

[trollt]

Tony was right this
year is our last chance though not
'cause of Tim: NT

[trollt]

the earl of jabbar
don't blame me blame pop; March tim
will be gassed, book it

[objective]

Zero Turnovers

Is the Latest Excuse for

Postseason Chokers

[objective]

Bonner is better

than Scola said the posters

who were quite clueless

[objective]

Okkervil River makes

incredible music but

playoff threes still bricked

[objective]

Twenty point lead, yay!

What? Take out Bruce? NOOOOO! Please NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Dynasty ended.

------------

that's a bonus WCF game 1 against the Lakers in 08 haiku

[objective]

Hey? Where is George Hill?

"Playoffs are not for George." - Pop

Crushed by Mavericks.

-----------

bonus 2009 round 1 haiku

[Chieflion]

Two plus one is three.
Bonner's still with both hands up.
Count it, plus the foul!

[AFBlue]

New Hampshire born, bread

That's right, bread as in sandwich

Bonner's 3-point meal

:lol

[ohmwrecker]

A six ten Steve Kerr
with even less ball handles
no clutch in playoffs

[Fabbs]

A six ten Steve Kerr
with even less ball handles
no clutch in playoffs
Stop slandering the Kerrdog and his super nutty 2003 playoff Championship run!
Edit this crap!

[ohmwrecker]

Fabbs the worst poster
the forum has ever known
make me a sandwich

[ShoogarBear]

Twenty point lead, yay!

What? Take out Bruce? NOOOOO! Please NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Dynasty ended.


This is Udoku.

[TimDunkem]

Two plus one is three.
Bonner's still with both hands up.
Count it, plus the foul!
You just scored on me
I'll take those three points back now
Never mind, I'll pump fake


Part 2:

I'll throw a runner

In your face, forget the pass

Clank, maybe next time

[Blackjack]

Give me whole wheat bread

Roast beef, onions and mayo

No cheese, Tiago

[Blackjack]

On the bench I sit

The defense begins to thrive

An aberration?

[Fabbs]

I compare Steve Kerr
The Championship Helper
to my lover Matt
The oil bois ad another....

[ohmwrecker]

I am too stupid
To write a proper haiku
Or comprehend humor

[benefactor]

Bonner on the bench
Pop instead goes with small ball
Spurs roll for the win

[Blackjack]

Sitting on the bench

There's certainly some merit

Subway sponsorship

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

Good! Good! Good! Good! Good!
WHAT, the playoffs have started?!!
Miss! Miss! FVCK! Miss! FVCK!!!

[Blackjack]

Blair, Dyess and Splitter

Yanked in and out on a whim

Bonner's certainty

:smchode:

[ohmwrecker]

Splitter played seven
The Red Rocket played thirty
Pop has lost his mind

[Texas_Ranger]

Bonner sucks ass
Bonner can't hit a 3
Bonner plays 30 minutet

[objective]

we have Splitter now

Bonner: 5th big, spot minutes :

Pop has other plans

[Blackjack]

It's me again, Matt

Just chillin', doin' my thang

Thanks Coach Popovich

[ohmwrecker]

Matty is worthless
If he cannot hit the three
"Let's play him!", says Pop.

[Chomag]

Bonner making contributions to the NBA posters

Splitter does not have a three-point shot

Splitter gets minutes after dying hair red.

[ohmwrecker]

It is five, seven, five
You cannot freestyle haiku
There are rules, you know

[Blackjack]

Hey, watch this right here!

I shoot from the parking lot

We wish you'd stay there

[ohmwrecker]

I'd like a sandwich
How many threes did you make? :depressed
No sandwich for you!

[Flux451]

zero for six, ouch
nothing else to contribute
curse this universe

[Blackjack]

Red means stop, mostly

But not for Matty B, y'all

I've got the green light! :elephant

[ALVAREZ6]

Matt the red douche bag
Better stay on the damn bench
Unless you're on fire

[Gutter92]

Useless sack of shit

Blake Griffin used him tonight

Nail his ass to bench

[awktalk]

I can win you games
Splitter can't play any defense
Give me my minutes

[Gutter92]

I can win you games
Splitter can't
Give me my minutes
:lmao

[Blackjack]

Thank you, Mike Finley

These here photos work wonders

How'd you bend like that?

[awktalk]

Bonner has a ring
And a New Balance shoe line
Live by the Bonner

[Chomag]

Tony's game has dipped
Bonner likes to eat french dip
Hoagie bun and all

[awktalk]

Best three point shooter
Can't bench when 15 and 2
On a back to back

[Blackjack]

It's pinching yourself

That really is how I feel

I get paid for this?

[Yorae]

Back to back's a pain
No time to make a sandwich
Wound up shooting bricks

[SpursRulez4eVeR]

I can't shoot tonight
pop wants me to spread the floor
live or die by me

[Chieflion]

Got thirty minutes
R O F T L O L
Not sure if serious.

[ElNono]

Got thirty minutes
R O F T L O L
Not sure if serious.

:lol

[ShoogarBear]

Got thirty minutes
R O F T L O L
Not sure if serious.

:lol

[DrSteffo]

Miss hit miss hit miss
He is better than Splitter?
miss miss miss miss miss

[Blackjack]

30-minute abs?

Splitter vanishes in less

It's all Pop's doing

[Chomag]

clang clang clang clang clang!

Finley said this would be fun!

clang clang clang clang clang!

[TJastal]

potential member
just wants a rassberry cookie
praise pop and bonner

[MaNu4Tres]

Rasho six year deal
Colangelo for the win
Oh what might have been



Somewhere five years in
Pop fell for hoagie hunter
Will it ever end

[wontstartdumbthreads]

there once was a flying red rocket
who's balls never went in the pocket
and as he kept trying
the Spurs fans kept crying
and hoped Pop would finally say "fock it"

[benefactor]

Matt Bonner re-signs
"He will play reduced minutes."
lol Spur fan

[Dex]

Buckets become bricks

Shooting percentages fall

Matt is still just Matt

[elec99]

run like dinosaur
shoot 3 pointers like shot put
wish arms were longer

[wontstartdumbthreads]

Your agent is on the phone
Hello this is Matt
Holy fuck they paid what

[Dex]

Your agent is on the phone
Hello this is Matt
Holy fuck they paid what

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku

[wontstartdumbthreads]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mora_(linguistics)

[Cessation]

Got thirty minutes
R O F T L O L
Not sure if serious.

+1
one of the better ones

[gsmith78]

Seven for seven
one nights miracle outburst
free pass all year long

[Blackjack]

NBA TV

National television

There's some trade value! :smokin

[DPG21920]

Sh*tting On SpursTalk
He has plenty of Charmin
It's his DNA

[Blackjack]

Sh*tting On SpursTalk
He has plenty of Charmin
It's his DNA

That's just uncalled for.



































But hilarious, nonetheless. :rollin

[Dex]

Four of five from 3.

Guess who's back in town, baby.

Splitter, get my Prix.

[Chomag]

Bonner shoots the threes.

Splitter came from miles away.

Next year, second year!

[Cessation]

lol these are great
bonner is the perfect subject

[Borosai]

Haters gonna hate
Matty just took a big dump
Enjoy your new hats

[cdcast]

Petition commish
Play Hornets all 82
Oh please let it be

[Blackjack]

I'm a shooting-4

Don't ask me to hit the boards

Play 2-guards that can

[Cessation]

Haters gonna hate
Matty just took a big dump
Enjoy your new hats

+1 lol

[Darkwaters]

Graceful lumbering
Hulking, plodding, Stumbling
The coach's delight

[Blackjack]

Another good night

Just guaranteeing minutes

Starting come April

[Yorae]

Thank God oven's fixed
Took ten sandwiches today
Dumped it on ST