21_Dickings
03-18-2011, 02:38 PM
Look at Spurfan, having a collective orgasm over this little article.
Listen up, and listen carefully.
The only thing the article confirms is how fuckin' top-shelf Lakers fans are. We come to the games dressed in Armani, which is dressing down for a Laker fan, a Patek Philippe shining on the wrist (fuck that Rolex shit, that's a bottom shelf timepiece suitable for you wage slaves who think buying it will somehow bring you closer to our world. If your watch doesn't cost as much as 3 bedroom house, you ain't doing it right), and wearing a pair of Testoni shoes that costs more than your car, all conveyed with an attitude and style so cool it would freeze an Eskimo's dick.
And fuck Phil Jackson for saying, "Sometimes the interest isn't in the game," and fuck the people who agree with him.
Look, we constantly text because we are constantly making deals. Simple as that. Sure, I like the way Andrew Bynum moves in those shorts as much as the next guy, but never forget that in LA, the "biz" is king, not basketball.
Sometimes I can't be bothered with who fouled who and who shot what when I'm sitting there cracking a deal with Joel Silver that can buy the average Spurfan's trailer ten thousand times over. I understand that talking Hollywood deals is a foreign concept to a fanbase whose courtside conversation likely involves the best way to deep fry a pig's foot and discussing weight loss goals that will never be met, but we have to do it. It you're not always moving and shaking like a motherfucker, you will lose in this town.
Hell, as I type this, I'm talking to Scott Rubin about a project. It's an espionage thriller that is centered around the possibility that Family Feud host Ray Combs was a covert CIA spy, who was murdered by the KGB and did not commit suicide.
So, Spurfan. I hope you learned why and how Lakers fans are perceived as "the worst NBA fanbase." I know the knowledge I dropped on you was earth shattering, and now with you realizing just how stratospheric the average Laker fan's life is compared to yours, you might very well contemplate drowning yourself in the River Walk (don't, I need morons like you to fill those theater seats and continue to make me rich), so my advice to you is know your place. Acceptance is first step on the path to recovery. And once you accept that Laker fans are better than Spur fans and that the Lakers will always be better than the Spurs, you'll be okay.
Listen up, and listen carefully.
The only thing the article confirms is how fuckin' top-shelf Lakers fans are. We come to the games dressed in Armani, which is dressing down for a Laker fan, a Patek Philippe shining on the wrist (fuck that Rolex shit, that's a bottom shelf timepiece suitable for you wage slaves who think buying it will somehow bring you closer to our world. If your watch doesn't cost as much as 3 bedroom house, you ain't doing it right), and wearing a pair of Testoni shoes that costs more than your car, all conveyed with an attitude and style so cool it would freeze an Eskimo's dick.
And fuck Phil Jackson for saying, "Sometimes the interest isn't in the game," and fuck the people who agree with him.
Look, we constantly text because we are constantly making deals. Simple as that. Sure, I like the way Andrew Bynum moves in those shorts as much as the next guy, but never forget that in LA, the "biz" is king, not basketball.
Sometimes I can't be bothered with who fouled who and who shot what when I'm sitting there cracking a deal with Joel Silver that can buy the average Spurfan's trailer ten thousand times over. I understand that talking Hollywood deals is a foreign concept to a fanbase whose courtside conversation likely involves the best way to deep fry a pig's foot and discussing weight loss goals that will never be met, but we have to do it. It you're not always moving and shaking like a motherfucker, you will lose in this town.
Hell, as I type this, I'm talking to Scott Rubin about a project. It's an espionage thriller that is centered around the possibility that Family Feud host Ray Combs was a covert CIA spy, who was murdered by the KGB and did not commit suicide.
So, Spurfan. I hope you learned why and how Lakers fans are perceived as "the worst NBA fanbase." I know the knowledge I dropped on you was earth shattering, and now with you realizing just how stratospheric the average Laker fan's life is compared to yours, you might very well contemplate drowning yourself in the River Walk (don't, I need morons like you to fill those theater seats and continue to make me rich), so my advice to you is know your place. Acceptance is first step on the path to recovery. And once you accept that Laker fans are better than Spur fans and that the Lakers will always be better than the Spurs, you'll be okay.