View Full Version : The Nastiest Sex Experience You've Heard or Been Part Of
Koolaid_Man
04-06-2011, 08:25 PM
Let me get this out the way....I know Tyson you've told me a million times in PM already you took 6 creampies to the ass...I got it already... but I still don't roll like that :lol
Now on to topic at hand...the worst story I've been told by a Mexican no less is that he eats his girlfriends menstrual bleed with Tater Tots...He calls this shit Salty Ketchup....
Talk about Hellenistic...:lol
if you game let's here yours....
tlongII
04-06-2011, 08:43 PM
Fail :td
CuckingFunt
04-06-2011, 09:16 PM
I wouldn't give up sex but I would give up pissing on chicks for a year.
Midget -- Seriously you need to calm down.
What an innocent time it was...
JayTheClown
04-06-2011, 09:28 PM
I fucked a fat chick. That was pretty nasty
baseline bum
04-06-2011, 09:29 PM
There was this time I went to the red-light district in Juarez, drunk as shit; it was maybe 30 years ago or so, back in my younger days. I rolled into this bar about 2PM, and this one fatty came up and started rubbing me through my pants. I bought her a beer and the bitch unzipped me and started swallowing me right there at the table. The bar was pretty empty so we just went in the corner and I barebacked her for a few minutes, busted, and pulled my pants back up and left. I came back a month and a half later looking for her, and this girl is carrying a kid and telling me a sob story about how she can't afford another and wanted me to help out. No fucking way! I gave her $50 and she promised me she'd get the problem taken care of at the clinic.
So I left and didn't come back for a while. A couple of years later I was in a dry spell and decided to return, but she wasn't there. I asked some of the other girls about her, and come to find out she used my money to pay off a coyote. They gave me her address; she was somewhere in Riverside. Anyways, I really didn't want to see the kid, but figured he needed to know about his Japanese heritage so I'd send him tapes of stuff like Akira, Fist of the North Star, Golgo 13... then later on Pokemon cards, Naruto DVDs, and so on.
It's tough for a single mother in Southern California, and with no male role-model in the house, last I heard the kid ended up a gay. I'm not even certain he's mine, but I still feel bad for what I did; it's a sin I'll take to my grave.
There was this time I went to the red-light district in Juarez, drunk as shit; it was maybe 30 years ago or so, back in my younger days. I rolled into this bar about 2PM, and this one fatty came up and started rubbing me through my pants. I bought her a beer and the bitch unzipped me and started swallowing me right there at the table. The bar was pretty empty so we just went in the corner and I barebacked her for a few minutes, busted, and pulled my pants back up and left. I came back a month and a half later looking for her, and this girl is carrying a kid and telling me a sob story about how she can't afford another and wanted me to help out. No fucking way! I gave her $50 and she promised me she'd get the problem taken care of at the clinic.
So I left and didn't come back for a while. A couple of years later I was in a dry spell and decided to return, but she wasn't there. I asked some of the other girls about her, and come to find out she used my money to pay off a coyote. They gave me her address; she was somewhere in Riverside. Anyways, I really didn't want to see the kid, but figured he needed to know about his Japanese heritage so I'd send him tapes of stuff like Akira, Fist of the North Star, Golgo 13... then later on Pokemon cards, Naruto DVDs, and so on.
It's tough for a single mother in Souther California, and with no male role-model in the house, last I heard the kid ended up a gay. I'm not even certain he's mine, but I still feel bad for what I did; it's a sin I'll take to my grave.
Holy shit that's a fucked up story.
resistanze
04-06-2011, 09:38 PM
:lmao
Greg Oden
04-06-2011, 09:39 PM
you had me until the naruto dvds part.
resistanze
04-06-2011, 09:39 PM
Post of the month, baseline.
IronMexican
04-06-2011, 09:40 PM
baseline posted his pic before, so the Asian part gave it away.
Stringer_Bell
04-06-2011, 09:40 PM
There was this time I went to the red-light district in Juarez, drunk as shit; it was maybe 30 years ago or so, back in my younger days. I rolled into this bar about 2PM, and this one fatty came up and started rubbing me through my pants. I bought her a beer and the bitch unzipped me and started swallowing me right there at the table. The bar was pretty empty so we just went in the corner and I barebacked her for a few minutes, busted, and pulled my pants back up and left. I came back a month and a half later looking for her, and this girl is carrying a kid and telling me a sob story about how she can't afford another and wanted me to help out. No fucking way! I gave her $50 and she promised me she'd get the problem taken care of at the clinic.
So I left and didn't come back for a while. A couple of years later I was in a dry spell and decided to return, but she wasn't there. I asked some of the other girls about her, and come to find out she used my money to pay off a coyote. They gave me her address; she was somewhere in Riverside. Anyways, I really didn't want to see the kid, but figured he needed to know about his Japanese heritage so I'd send him tapes of stuff like Akira, Fist of the North Star, Golgo 13... then later on Pokemon cards, Naruto DVDs, and so on.
It's tough for a single mother in Southern California, and with no male role-model in the house, last I heard the kid ended up a gay. I'm not even certain he's mine, but I still feel bad for what I did; it's a sin I'll take to my grave.
Your life reads like a made for TV movie on BroTime- Television for Bros, bro. :tu
I just got trolled, didn't I? Oh well.
I just got trolled, didn't I? Oh well.
Yeah. :lol
Great post anyhow baseline. :tu
texas_gator
04-06-2011, 09:55 PM
-earned the blood wings inadvertently (lights off, she didnt tell me it was that time, woke up with dry blood on my hands, around my lips :vomit: )
-donkey punched and choked
admiralsnackbar
04-06-2011, 10:17 PM
That seriously may have been the best wind-up I've ever read in a forum, baseline -- fucking top notch. :lol
Viva Las Espuelas
04-06-2011, 10:34 PM
This is kind of a nasty experience but also a little funny imho and it's not mine. It's a college buddy of mine. Second semester started and people just need to cuddle then. There was a new cute singer in the choir. My buddy and her were starting "the chase". It was raining, she called him and basically said "come and get it". I think that was the fastest I've ever seen him move. She lived about 2 miles from him and he rode his bicycle to her place. Broke college student. Pouring rain. I called him later and he was pissed. He boned it but said she had quite a thicket down below and it stunk. He said he told himself he'd just "wash it off later" in the heat of the moment. He said she was a lame screw, but it was the tits that blinded him.
He told me his wang stunk for another week :lol
baseline bum
04-06-2011, 10:38 PM
This is kind of a nasty experience but also a little funny imho and it's not mine. It's a college buddy of mine. Second semester started and people just need to cuddle then. There was a new cute singer in the choir. My buddy and her were starting "the chase". It was raining, she called him and basically said "come and get it". I think that was the fastest I've ever seen him move. She lived about 2 miles from him and he rode his bicycle to her place. Broke college student. Pouring rain. I called him later and he was pissed. He boned it but said she had quite a thicket down below and it stunk. He said he told himself he'd just "wash it off later" in the heat of the moment. He said she was a lame screw, but it was the tits that blinded him.
He told me his wang stunk for another week :lol
So did he go downtown and taste the battery acid?
Talk about Hellenistic...:lol
http://www.talariaenterprises.com/images3/6425a.jpg
I know you got gay sex on your mind, but it's hedonistic you dumb motherfucker ... hedonistic
BlackSwordsMan
04-06-2011, 11:21 PM
story would have been believable if not for the naruto part
Viva Las Espuelas
04-06-2011, 11:57 PM
So did he go downtown and taste the battery acid?
Oh no. He didnt catch anything. Her vazhín just stunk :lmao
TinTin
04-07-2011, 01:35 AM
There was this time I went to the red-light district in Juarez, drunk as shit; it was maybe 30 years ago or so, back in my younger days. I rolled into this bar about 2PM, and this one fatty came up and started rubbing me through my pants. I bought her a beer and the bitch unzipped me and started swallowing me right there at the table. The bar was pretty empty so we just went in the corner and I barebacked her for a few minutes, busted, and pulled my pants back up and left. I came back a month and a half later looking for her, and this girl is carrying a kid and telling me a sob story about how she can't afford another and wanted me to help out. No fucking way! I gave her $50 and she promised me she'd get the problem taken care of at the clinic.
So I left and didn't come back for a while. A couple of years later I was in a dry spell and decided to return, but she wasn't there. I asked some of the other girls about her, and come to find out she used my money to pay off a coyote. They gave me her address; she was somewhere in Riverside. Anyways, I really didn't want to see the kid, but figured he needed to know about his Japanese heritage so I'd send him tapes of stuff like Akira, Fist of the North Star, Golgo 13... then later on Pokemon cards, Naruto DVDs, and so on.
It's tough for a single mother in Southern California, and with no male role-model in the house, last I heard the kid ended up a gay. I'm not even certain he's mine, but I still feel bad for what I did; it's a sin I'll take to my grave.
You had me till there. No way a programmer does that
Koolaid_Man
04-07-2011, 06:16 AM
http://www.talariaenterprises.com/images3/6425a.jpg
I know you got gay sex on your mind, but it's hedonistic you dumb motherfucker ... hedonistic
Don't have time to teach the offspring of the homosexual but Hellinistic and Hedonistic are two different things...you got some educating of the scrambled eggs between your ears...now get to it....:lol
Hel·le·nis·tic (hl-nstk) also Hel·le·nis·ti·cal (-t-kl)
adj.
1. Of or relating to the Hellenists.
2. Of or relating to postclassical Greek history and culture from the death of Alexander the Great to the accession of Augustus.
Relating to or in the style of the Greek art or architecture of this period.
he·don·ism (hdn-zm)
n.
1. Pursuit of or devotion to pleasure, especially to the pleasures of the senses.
2. Philosophy The ethical doctrine holding that only what is pleasant or has pleasant consequences is intrinsically good.
3. Psychology The doctrine holding that behavior is motivated by the desire for pleasure and the avoidance of pain.
lol hellenistic
lol down syndrome
lol welcher
lol pretend-to-be-black schtick is old
lol AIDS
CosmicCowboy
04-07-2011, 02:14 PM
Had a friend that hooked up with a stripper that lived downstairs in his apartment complex. She told him she was gonna bring a friend home from work so they could have a three way. It was scheduled for Friday night and he bragged about it unmercifully all week. I talked to him Saturday and asked him how it went. He refused to talk about it.
Years later I got him drunk and got the story out of him. The "friend from work" came over...they had a few drinks and they talked my buddy into letting them tie him to the bed while they teased and tag teamed him...told him it was no go unless he agreed...
The friend from work then got naked and got him good and worked up...
climbed on top...
squatted over him...
and took a big greasy shit right on his chest...:lol
The girls then got dressed and left him tied up to his bed all night while they went partying....
:lmao
The Reckoning
04-07-2011, 02:22 PM
^
heard that story before.
CosmicCowboy
04-07-2011, 02:38 PM
^
heard that story before.
told it here before...
mavsfan1000
04-07-2011, 03:12 PM
Had a friend that hooked up with a stripper that lived downstairs in his apartment complex. She told him she was gonna bring a friend home from work so they could have a three way. It was scheduled for Friday night and he bragged about it unmercifully all week. I talked to him Saturday and asked him how it went. He refused to talk about it.
Years later I got him drunk and got the story out of him. The "friend from work" came over...they had a few drinks and they talked my buddy into letting them tie him to the bed while they teased and tag teamed him...told him it was no go unless he agreed...
The friend from work then got naked and got him good and worked up...
climbed on top...
squatted over him...
and took a big greasy shit right on his chest...:lol
The girls then got dressed and left him tied up to his bed all night while they went partying....
:lmao
Wow. That's fucked up.
baseline bum
04-07-2011, 03:21 PM
Had a friend that hooked up with a stripper that lived downstairs in his apartment complex. She told him she was gonna bring a friend home from work so they could have a three way. It was scheduled for Friday night and he bragged about it unmercifully all week. I talked to him Saturday and asked him how it went. He refused to talk about it.
Years later I got him drunk and got the story out of him. The "friend from work" came over...they had a few drinks and they talked my buddy into letting them tie him to the bed while they teased and tag teamed him...told him it was no go unless he agreed...
The friend from work then got naked and got him good and worked up...
climbed on top...
squatted over him...
and took a big greasy shit right on his chest...:lol
The girls then got dressed and left him tied up to his bed all night while they went partying....
:lmao
Man, are we all thankful there were no camera phones and Spurstalk then.
CuckingFunt
04-07-2011, 04:06 PM
Had a friend that hooked up with a stripper that lived downstairs in his apartment complex. She told him she was gonna bring a friend home from work so they could have a three way. It was scheduled for Friday night and he bragged about it unmercifully all week. I talked to him Saturday and asked him how it went. He refused to talk about it.
Years later I got him drunk and got the story out of him. The "friend from work" came over...they had a few drinks and they talked my buddy into letting them tie him to the bed while they teased and tag teamed him...told him it was no go unless he agreed...
The friend from work then got naked and got him good and worked up...
climbed on top...
squatted over him...
and took a big greasy shit right on his chest...:lol
The girls then got dressed and left him tied up to his bed all night while they went partying....
:lmao
Can't believe you typed that all out again instead of just linking to one of the fifty million other times you've told that story here.
The Gemini Method
04-07-2011, 04:08 PM
Someone got a hot platter...
BlackSwordsMan
04-07-2011, 04:09 PM
I once heard a story of a guy getting a blowjob in a car and as he caressed her back noticed it was a bigger back than usual and that she may have had something extra between her legs as she picked her pants up but him being a trooper finished anyways and paid 50$ for a bus ticket she needed to go home
Kermit
04-07-2011, 04:23 PM
I had a Tucker Max episode where a special lady friend wanted anal and didn't "go" before hand. Unfortunately it was my bed. She wasn't so special after that.
CosmicCowboy
04-07-2011, 04:33 PM
Can't believe you typed that all out again instead of just linking to one of the fifty million other times you've told that story here.
I tried and couldn't find it.
xellos88330
04-08-2011, 02:53 AM
Base slut was looking for some action. Started giving some random dude a hummer in front of the whole party. Starts fucking the dude when the guy decides it would be a good idea to surprise her and take a dip in her poop chute. He blasts her in the ass, then she screams, throws up and then shits out anal beads, starts bleeding and had to be taken to the hospital. Was probably the most fucked up night of my life.
san antonio spurs
04-09-2011, 01:23 AM
I heard some guy paid 250$ for a hand job. I assume it was one of the nastiest.
Had a friend that hooked up with a stripper that lived downstairs in his apartment complex. She told him she was gonna bring a friend home from work so they could have a three way. It was scheduled for Friday night and he bragged about it unmercifully all week. I talked to him Saturday and asked him how it went. He refused to talk about it.
Years later I got him drunk and got the story out of him. The "friend from work" came over...they had a few drinks and they talked my buddy into letting them tie him to the bed while they teased and tag teamed him...told him it was no go unless he agreed...
The friend from work then got naked and got him good and worked up...
climbed on top...
squatted over him...
and took a big greasy shit right on his chest...:lol
The girls then got dressed and left him tied up to his bed all night while they went partying....
:lmao
:lmao:lmao
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