Do your teens have a school night bedtime?

[JoeChalupa]

My oldest will turn 17 on the 24th and was just wondering what other parents do. I like to have her in bed by 11pm and she says that none of her friends go to bed that early so she blew up last night saying my rules are outdated and suck major ass.
Am I am prude for a parent?
She wants her teenage freedom to be able to have facebook and talk to her friends late into the night like they can do. When I checked the cell phone records I see many calls late at night or early in the morning on school nights so I called her out on that and she says all her friends don't have cell phone curfews.
Am I being over protective?
Last night she said she wanted to live with my SIL since she doesn't have stupid rules like we do. I don't want that to happen so should I ease up and get with the times??

[DisAsTerBot]

shoot her.

[Sense]

TBH Joe.. when I was that age, I slept around 1 or 2 am.. but it was all on me, because I was the one that had to get up at 7.

She's an "adult" and she should be responsible on her own.. if she wants to sleep late she better wake her ass up in the morning... if she doesn't... then have a curfew.

[florige]

I'm no parent, but I work with a few parents with teenage age kids that say have their kids in bed between 11 and 11:30. They tell me at around 10:30 they start telling them to start wrapping up whatever they are doing and to start getting ready for bed. I think thats a reasonable time as well. I may let my kid stay up till 12 but definately no later than that.

[JoeChalupa]

I'm no parent, but I work with a few parents with teenage age kids that say have their kids in bed between 11 and 11:30. They tell me at around 10:30 they start telling them to start wrapping up whatever they are doing and to start getting ready for bed. I think thats a reasonable time as well. I may let my kid stay up till 12 but definately no later than that.

That is pretty much the way we do it. Start telling her at 10:30 to wrap it up by 11. Last night I knocked on her door at 11:05 and she was still typing away on her laptop and yapping on the phone. So I told her to hang up and got the "in a few minutes" and I said "NOW!" which upset her since she couldn't say her proper buh-byes. And she also shut down a web page asap when I opened the door so I mentioned that too. She blew a gasket and went on and on about the rules and how all her friends have so much more freedom than she does and of course I came back with "I don't care about what your friends do" and it went back and forth then she said she wanted to leave and live with her aunt. My SIL works two jobs so she is not at home that much and her kids, IMO, are too loose with their mouths and actions.
She told me I need to trust her and that she is not having sex or doing drugs or drinking etc. so I should giver her more freedoms.
She is an A-B student and does good so after thinking it over I think I'm going to lighten up a bit because I sure don't want to push her out yet she knows I don't do the "friend" thing when it comes to parenting.
Oh the horrah!!!

[clambake]

now she'll get knocked up....to teach you a lesson.

[lil'mo]

My oldest will turn 17 on the 24th and was just wondering what other parents do. I like to have her in bed by 11pm and she says that none of her friends go to bed that early so she blew up last night saying my rules are outdated and suck major ass.
Am I am prude for a parent?
She wants her teenage freedom to be able to have facebook and talk to her friends late into the night like they can do. When I checked the cell phone records I see many calls late at night or early in the morning on school nights so I called her out on that and she says all her friends don't have cell phone curfews.
Am I being over protective?
Last night she said she wanted to live with my SIL since she doesn't have stupid rules like we do. I don't want that to happen so should I ease up and get with the times??

she should be in the house no later than 11 or 12 on school nights but she can go to sleep whenever she wants. Like Sense said, it's on her to wake up and get to school the next morning. But bedtime, yeah, is stupid and out-dated for a 17-year-old.

[Kori Ellis]

I don't have kids that age, but 11pm to midnight during the week and 1am on the weekends seems reasonable to me.

[JoeChalupa]

I've turned into my parents. I just don't think there is anything so crucial to talk about that can't wait till tomorrow and have to talk about it that late at night.

[lil'mo]

start letting go now or when she turns 18 she will rebel and stick it to you in every way possible. Im sure you realize how little control you have over her now, think about how crazy you'll make yourself when you legally have no say in what she does in a few months. start loosening the reigns now joe.

[Nick Manning]

I don't have kids that age, but 11pm to midnight during the week and 1am on the weekends seems reasonable to me.

That's how it was for me, but 2a on the weekends

[florige]

That is pretty much the way we do it. Start telling her at 10:30 to wrap it up by 11. Last night I knocked on her door at 11:05 and she was still typing away on her laptop and yapping on the phone. So I told her to hang up and got the "in a few minutes" and I said "NOW!" which upset her since she couldn't say her proper buh-byes. And she also shut down a web page asap when I opened the door so I mentioned that too. She blew a gasket and went on and on about the rules and how all her friends have so much more freedom than she does and of course I came back with "I don't care about what your friends do" and it went back and forth then she said she wanted to leave and live with her aunt. My SIL works two jobs so she is not at home that much and her kids, IMO, are too loose with their mouths and actions.
She told me I need to trust her and that she is not having sex or doing drugs or drinking etc. so I should giver her more freedoms.
She is an A-B student and does good so after thinking it over I think I'm going to lighten up a bit because I sure don't want to push her out yet she knows I don't do the "friend" thing when it comes to parenting.
Oh the horrah!!!


She'll appreciate your rules you enforced when she is older. Plus when she goes away to college she can stay up as long as she wants. I am sometimes over my buddy's house the nights I am off which is often a Tuesday, and his kids give him a earful as well. But they are also straight A and B students. But on Fridays he lets them stay up until whenever messing around on the computer, X-Box, phone, whatever.

[JoeChalupa]

i'm just trying to avoid having a jersey shore, mean girl, foul mouthed, skanky dressed daughter. But perhaps I"m going about it all wrong. We do talk quite a bit and have lunch together at least once a month to hash things out but I think it is the rules that is causing havoc.

[florige]

start letting go now or when she turns 18 she will rebel and stick it to you in every way possible. Im sure you realize how little control you have over her now, think about how crazy you'll make yourself when you legally have no say in what she does in a few months. start loosening the reigns now joe.



At 18 they are pretty much an adult anyway. It is up to them from that point on what they want to do with their life imo.

[JoeChalupa]

I don't have kids that age, but 11pm to midnight during the week and 1am on the weekends seems reasonable to me.


That is what we kind of agreed to last night. She's also working too.

[CuckingFunt]

I didn't have a bedtime when I was that age. I had a curfew, and it was understood that I couldn't/shouldn't stay up all hours of the night, but as long as I was in my room and in bed mode by a certain time my mom didn't really care about when I actually shut the lights and TV off and went to sleep. But, then, I was pretty self sufficient when I was that age because my mom had gone back to college and often didn't get home from work and night classes until well after midnight. Managing my time in the afternoons and evenings--and finding a way to squeeze socializing, homework, chores, and dinner into a relatively limited number of hours--was left up to me completely.

In general, though, everything you've posted about your oldest leads me to believe that she's a pretty good kid and fairly trustworthy. If she's gone this far without being a complete jackass or getting into trouble, but is still being treated like a kid, I can understand the frustration at that age. Being just a year away from leaving the nest and, in theory at least, being responsible for yourself, it's natural to want to believe your parents trust you to be able to do it. Especially if you have been careful to play by the rules and prove yourself worthy of their trust.

[lil'mo]

i'm just trying to avoid having a jersey shore, mean girl, foul mouthed, skanky dressed daughter. But perhaps I"m going about it all wrong. We do talk quite a bit and have lunch together at least once a month to hash things out but I think it is the rules that is causing havoc.

if she isn't already, then she wont be. she's almost 18 and you've done your job.

[JoeChalupa]

start letting go now or when she turns 18 she will rebel and stick it to you in every way possible. Im sure you realize how little control you have over her now, think about how crazy you'll make yourself when you legally have no say in what she does in a few months. start loosening the reigns now joe.

I've already got new locks to replace the day after her 18th birthday. We've also talked about how we will give her privacy if she still wants to live at home and go to school and she can have her own door etc. But I also told her not to expect to have total sexual freedom. I don't need to hear or see that. Yeah, there are some things that I don't have control over. Time to cut the cord. What sucks it that my 11 yr old is already going on 15.

[JoeChalupa]

if she isn't already, then she wont be. she's almost 18 and you've done your job.

She is turning 17 not 18 but yeah, I think she is a great kid who will make mistakes as I did. I've woken up and smelled the coffee.

[lil'mo]

these teengs happen but it's up to you to make your transition easy or unbearable. trust that you did a good job raising her and you can sit back and watch her become a woman with a smile on your face.

[florige]

She is turning 17 not 18 but yeah, I think she is a great kid who will make mistakes as I did. I've woken up and smelled the coffee.



Alot of people I grew up with who had the freedom to do whatever most of the time wound up becoming dropouts, or would be the ones in class knocked out sleep and failing most of their classes.

[Sportcamper]

Your daughter seems pretty normal…She is almost 18, cut her a little more Slack…Kids text & post on face book at all hours…But I think it is reasonable to ask her if she can stay on a better schedule Monday thru Thursday…The goal is to teach them to be responsible & to make smart decisions…

[desflood]

She sounds like a decent, responsible kid, Joe, which means you've probably done a pretty good job up to this point. If my kids behaved well enough at that age, I could definitely see doing away with a "bedtime" (but keeping a curfew).

Just don't become my mother - that woman was crazy overprotective. The night of my senior prom, my mother said, "You look very nice - be home by 10:30.". My dad just looked at her over his paper, then looked at me and said, "Be home by 1:30." :lol

[SpursWoman]

I'm no parent, but I work with a few parents with teenage age kids that say have their kids in bed between 11 and 11:30. They tell me at around 10:30 they start telling them to start wrapping up whatever they are doing and to start getting ready for bed. I think thats a reasonable time as well. I may let my kid stay up till 12 but definately no later than that.


That's what we do with my 15 daughter ... and since she's never overslept, doesn't have attitude problems at school and is an honor roll student I have no problem with that.

My 14 year old son, however ... even though he's also an honor roll student, he is so hard to wake up and sleeps through his alarm already, it's lights out at 10:00 for him or I'd never be able to get him up on time.

[florige]

She sounds like a decent, responsible kid, Joe, which means you've probably done a pretty good job up to this point. If my kids behaved well enough at that age, I could definitely see doing away with a "bedtime" (but keeping a curfew).

Just don't become my mother - that woman was crazy overprotective. The night of my senior prom, my mother said, "You look very nice - be home by 10:30.". My dad just looked at her over his paper, then looked at me and said, "Be home by 1:30." :lol



Even on a school night? With FB and all these other message boards and things that could very well have her up till the wee hours of the morning I would probably keep the bedtime. I may move it up a hour or so, but still keep it.

[desflood]

Even on a school night? With FB and all these other message boards and things that could very well have her up till the wee hours of the morning I would probably keep the bedtime. I may move it up a hour or so, but still keep it.
The difference may be that in our house we don't have televisions or computers in any of the bedrooms - everything like that is out in the "common areas". Of course that may change as the kids get older, but for now it certainly makes it easier to monitor what they're doing and keep them on a good track.

[ploto]

I am lucky that my child has never been big on defying me on going to bed because he likes his sleep. On school nights, he knows to wind down on what he is doing about 10 and then he gets into the shower. He prefers to shower at night because then he can sleep as late as possible in the morning. His high school starts at 8:00. By 10:30 he is pretty much ready for bed and he often watches TV until 11 at the latest, and then he turns out the lights and goes to bed. On weekends, I do not really care as long as it is reasonable. He usually stays up to watch Craig Ferguson on Friday and SNL on Saturday and goes to be about 12:30 or 1:00. In the summer, I do not care if he is up until 2:00 and sleeps until noon.

He has friends who stay up until 2:00 on school nights and drink lots of coffee, but he has expressed no desire to do the same. I think girls are worse than boys when it comes to wanting to FB and text at all hours.

[Frenzy]

A B student,not knocked up,actually listens to you at that age?!




















http://www.freestaterevolution.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/clapping-animated.gif


Seems like you got a good kid there man. Stop being so spoiled! She is definitely at that age where she wants more freedom and you should give it to her. As parents sometimes we get stuck in a certain time frame and forget just how fast they grow up. Loosen the leash a bit. If she acts up tighten them up again....and that "I don't care what your freinds are doing" drove me nuts as a kid....but hell if I'm not using that on my kid.

[Viva Las Espuelas]

so she blew up last night saying my rules are outdated and suck major ass.
Am I am prude for a parent?
I think you're being a parent. Big disclaimer here is I'm not a parent but if I'm putting a roof over her head, clothing her and feeding her face, day in and day out, I would get pretty perturbed if my kid told me my rules are "outdated and suck major ass". I hear lots of kids disrespect their parents with language like that when they're trying to parent and, frankly, it makes my blood boil. But I know things aren't what they used to be. Very sad, but true. $.02

[JoeChalupa]

I'm loosening my grip. She's a good student, does getup on her own, works, keeps her room clean and does help around the house. I think her saying she wanted to move out struck a nerve that I cannot forget and so we'll have a talk tonight after she gets off of work. She's a young woman and I need to respect that but I've also told her to speak her mind and she did.
Lots of good responses and I appreciate it. Thinking like Dr. Huxtable mixed in with some Roseanne Conner ain't easy.

[Frenzy]

I'm loosening my grip. She's a good student, does getup on her own, works, keeps her room clean and does help around the house. I think her saying she wanted to move out struck a nerve that I cannot forget and so we'll have a talk tonight after she gets off of work. She's a young woman and I need to respect that but I've also told her to speak her mind and she did.
Lots of good responses and I appreciate it. Thinking like Dr. Huxtable mixed in with some Roseanne Conner ain't easy.

YouTube. Don't be stingy either..

[ploto]

I think her saying she wanted to move out struck a nerve that I cannot forget and so we'll have a talk tonight after she gets off of work.

A little off topic, but this generation of kids has been screwed over by all the adults who have given them the notion that they have lots of options about where to live. Not that parents staying together for the kids is better, but so many kids have the I'll go live with my other parent threat whenever they get mad at the one who actually enforces rules. Then you have aunts, uncles, and grandparents all acting as if it is fine for them to move in with them when they get mad at mom and dad.

Your daughter knew full well that she was saying what she knew would hurt you the most. Teenage girls are good at that.

[Sisk]

start letting go now or when she turns 18 she will rebel and stick it to you in every way possible. Im sure you realize how little control you have over her now, think about how crazy you'll make yourself when you legally have no say in what she does in a few months. start loosening the reigns now joe.

This.

One of my best friends had a really strict dad and he did a bunch of fucked up shit just to piss him off. He was a good guy but his dad was such a dick to him about this kind of stuff so he rebelled. Now they have a much better relationship (22 years old) and the dad let up on his younger two brothers. They're much better kids than he ever was.

I'm no parent, but in my experience/opinion it's better to let them come into their own and learn from mistakes as long as their not hurting themselves or anyone else. If she is continuously tired at school she'll eventually learn that it sucks and she'll go to bed earlier. Also, when someone is telling you to go to sleep I've found it's much more difficult to actually do so. When you go to bed when you're naturally inclined to it's much easier. Like most others have said - you don't want to piss her off but you also want to make sure she respects you. That is much easier said than done of course.

[Trainwreck2100]

that's what you get for letting her read that twilight bullshit. She probably wants to marry her stalker too.

[JoeChalupa]

A little off topic, but this generation of kids has been screwed over by all the adults who have given them the notion that they have lots of options about where to live. Not that parents staying together for the kids is better, but so many kids have the I'll go live with my other parent threat whenever they get mad at the one who actually enforces rules. Then you have aunts, uncles, and grandparents all acting as if it is fine for them to move in with them when they get mad at mom and dad.

Your daughter knew full well that she was saying what she knew would hurt you the most. Teenage girls are good at that.

Her Aunt lives about 4 blocks away so that is why she can throw that out there and yeah, I said some things that I knew would hurt my parents too. And the fact that my SIL doesn't believe in rules like we do and tells her that we need to be more understanding doesn't help. I've had some pretty harsh words with her about trying to raise my kids.

[JoeChalupa]

that's what you get for letting her read that twilight bullshit. She probably wants to marry her stalker too.

She didn't read the books, I did. She only watches the movies.

[JoeChalupa]

Parenting is a tough job and even my siblings don't parent the same as I do. My older brother thought my parents were too strict so he went the "friend" way and his kids have no respect and talk back to him and are not working. My sister is the same way and her son just quit his job at HEB for no reason at all. I now my way may backfire but I do what feels right. My daughters have such different personalities that what works for one doesn't work for the other. It ain't easy but I love it.

[DAF86]

I was going out to clubs at age 16, I understand the cultural differences so I won't tell you to let her out yet, but you should definitely ease up on the bed time thing.

[FuzzyLumpkins]

That's what we do with my 15 daughter ... and since she's never overslept, doesn't have attitude problems at school and is an honor roll student I have no problem with that.

My 14 year old son, however ... even though he's also an honor roll student, he is so hard to wake up and sleeps through his alarm already, it's lights out at 10:00 for him or I'd never be able to get him up on time.

Teenage males require a lot of sleep. That is just a biological necessity.

Sleeping 12 hours is not him being lazy if he does that.

[JoeChalupa]

I just want her to be alert and ready for school. She does get up at 7 and even with 11pm she doesn't actually get to sleep until around 12. If I say midnight she won't actually fall asleep until later. And she falls asleep with the TV on even though we tell her to use the damn timer.

[Nick Manning]

Teenage males require a lot of sleep. That is just a biological necessity.

Sleeping 12 hours is not him being lazy if he does that.

Truth.

[xellos88330]

If her grades are steady, she wakes up and is ready for school on time, and doesn't give you shit about how tired she is, then I think she deserves to stay up during school nights. Give her those conditions.

It also teaches them consequence. If they don't comply, they get burned and it is of no fault of yours, but theirs.

[SpursWoman]

Teenage males require a lot of sleep. That is just a biological necessity.

Sleeping 12 hours is not him being lazy if he does that.

Oh, I know .... he's 14 and already 6'1". All of that growing has to happen sometime, that's why it's lights out earlier for him. He's usually crashed 10, anyway. :)

[xellos88330]

Oh, I know .... he's 14 and already 6'1". All of that growing has to happen sometime, that's why it's lights out earlier for him. He's usually crashed 10, anyway. :)

Awww fuck!!! IS THAT WHY I AM SO SHORT!!!

[DMC]

I raised two.

I didn't push the bedtime thing too much. You cannot make them sleep anyhow.

What's going to affect their lives is the advice you give and the follow through with them. Things like bed time are more for parents to have peace of mind knowing their kids are in bed.

Although you don't see any reason to talk after that time, they do. I fought hard against the "think like them" idea for quite some time, but eventually you have to do that if you want to stay in touch. They don't have the wisdom you have, and won't try to think like you (they probably couldn't if they tried because they lack real world experience).

I've learned through my experiences and watching those around me that you can only equip them for life, you cannot control their decisions. Many of them will still do the wrong things even though they've been told countless times what the consequences will be. Sounds harsh, but some people are just stupid.

[DMC]

If her grades are steady, she wakes up and is ready for school on time, and doesn't give you shit about how tired she is, then I think she deserves to stay up during school nights. Give her those conditions.

It also teaches them consequence. If they don't comply, they get burned and it is of no fault of yours, but theirs.
It's always your fault. That's how they see it. Until they are 30, everything fucked up in their life is a result of upbringing. It's not until later that they admit to themselves they had choices.

Ok, I might be stretching the age a bit.

[JoeChalupa]

Going to have lunch with her today to talk things over and hash things out. Cutting her some slack and letting her know that I do realize she is a young woman and I cannot control her at all times. Good words of wisdom from you all. :tu

[DMC]

You: "I realize you are a young woman, not a kid, and I'm letting you stay up later"

Her mind: "letting me? Whatever... play it off..."

Her: "Thanks dad, can I have 20 dollars? This is Shawn... he's a rapper.. bye!"

Shawn: "wut up dude"

[JoeChalupa]

:lol Mind games. :tu

[mrsmaalox]

No I've never had to enforce a bedtime with my kids. While my kids were asking to be tucked in at 7pm, my brother was just gearing up for the 5 hour battle ahead :lol Even now as teens, I never say anything about bedtime and my house is quiet by 11 on weeknights, maybe a bit later on weekends. Mornings are not a struggle, I don't have to do wake up calls for anyone. They all have tvs/computers/phones in their rooms but there's never been a video game or tv show that is interesting enough to them to lose sleep over. My brother on the hand has the "common area only" tv/computer rule and he's in a constant battle with his teen boys about them and bedtime. So I guess it's just depends on the kids' personalities.

Joe I think if your daughter is responsible and a good student, there is no problem in letting her control her own bedtime. She's safe and in your house, which is the most important thing :)

[SpursWoman]

Awww fuck!!! IS THAT WHY I AM SO SHORT!!!


Yes, it's definitely because you didn't get enough sleep as a teenager.

[JoeChalupa]

No I've never had to enforce a bedtime with my kids. While my kids were asking to be tucked in at 7pm, my brother was just gearing up for the 5 hour battle ahead :lol Even now as teens, I never say anything about bedtime and my house is quiet by 11 on weeknights, maybe a bit later on weekends. Mornings are not a struggle, I don't have to do wake up calls for anyone. They all have tvs/computers/phones in their rooms but there's never been a video game or tv show that is interesting enough to them to lose sleep over. My brother on the hand has the "common area only" tv/computer rule and he's in a constant battle with his teen boys about them and bedtime. So I guess it's just depends on the kids' personalities.

Joe I think if your daughter is responsible and a good student, there is no problem in letting her control her own bedtime. She's safe and in your house, which is the most important thing :)

:tu Like I said...words of wisdom. I've never had an issue with bedtime with my youngest as she's always put herself to sleep because she knows if she doesn't get her sleep she is cranky in the mornings and I do have to get her up. Where as my oldest has no problems getting up in the mornings and I can't remember the last time she had a bad moring so for her she can do ok with less sleep. I guess I just never looked at it that way even though I've stated that you even have to parent each child a little differently. Don't know how I missed that.

[JudynTX]

Joe,

Will she have a curfew when she starts driving? :D

[TDMVPDPOY]

post pics of daughers 16+

[JoeChalupa]

Joe,

Will she have a curfew when she starts driving? :D

:bang She is going to take driver's ed this summer. Her driving late at night scares the caca out of me.

2qf8OGLqE1s

[ALVAREZ6]

My oldest will turn 17 on the 24th and was just wondering what other parents do. I like to have her in bed by 11pm and she says that none of her friends go to bed that early so she blew up last night saying my rules are outdated and suck major ass. I agree with her
Am I am prude for a parent? Yes
She wants her teenage freedom to be able to have facebook and talk to her friends late into the night like they can do. When I checked the cell phone records I see many calls late at night or early in the morning on school nights so I called her out on that and she says all her friends don't have cell phone curfews.
Am I being over protective? Yes
Last night she said she wanted to live with my SIL since she doesn't have stupid rules like we do. I don't want that to happen so should I ease up and get with the times?? You probably should...she's 17 for fuck's sake. If she doesn't get enough sleep during the school night, it's she who suffers the consequences, if any, and she who can decide to change the pattern if she deems necessary. What's her curfew on weekends, 10PM?

[ALVAREZ6]

That is pretty much the way we do it. Start telling her at 10:30 to wrap it up by 11. Last night I knocked on her door at 11:05 and she was still typing away on her laptop and yapping on the phone. So I told her to hang up and got the "in a few minutes" and I said "NOW!" which upset her since she couldn't say her proper buh-byes. And she also shut down a web page asap when I opened the door so I mentioned that too. She blew a gasket and went on and on about the rules and how all her friends have so much more freedom than she does and of course I came back with "I don't care about what your friends do" and it went back and forth then she said she wanted to leave and live with her aunt. My SIL works two jobs so she is not at home that much and her kids, IMO, are too loose with their mouths and actions.
She told me I need to trust her and that she is not having sex or doing drugs or drinking etc. so I should giver her more freedoms.
She is an A-B student and does good so after thinking it over I think I'm going to lighten up a bit because I sure don't want to push her out yet she knows I don't do the "friend" thing when it comes to parenting.
Oh the horrah!!!

Bro, you need to stop being overly protective. NEWS FLASH: your daughter, like any son or daughter ever born, is going to do what she truly wants to do regardless of what you say and may even lie to you about those worries you have, especially if you're extremely protective and have unnecessarily strict rules. I know tons of kids with extremely protective, religious parents, and believe me, they all do shit their nutjob parents wouldn't conform with, like have more than a sip or two of alcohol. You're just propping her up to go wild during her first year in college if that's where she's headed.

I think we've talked about this issue a while back before. Open communication is more effective vs. extremely strict, no questioning authoritarian parenting

[ALVAREZ6]

I don't have kids that age, but 11pm to midnight during the week and 1am on the weekends seems reasonable to me.

...CROFL you old hags are going nuts just like Greggory. CROFL bedtimes for seniors in high school. F'ing 17. CROFL bedtimes for any kid in high school period for that matter, especially on the weekend. You guys are nuts.

[ALVAREZ6]

i'm just trying to avoid having a jersey shore, mean girl, foul mouthed, skanky dressed daughter. But perhaps I"m going about it all wrong. We do talk quite a bit and have lunch together at least once a month to hash things out but I think it is the rules that is causing havoc.

Agree on all that, but that shit has nothing to do with bed times. Getting to bed early isn't going to influence whether or not your daughter dresses like a skank :lol. I don't blame her for coming off as mean and fouled-mouthed at times, I'd do the same if I had those retarded ass rules so you should actually lighten up if you want her respect.

[desflood]

...CROFL you old hags are going nuts just like Greggory. CROFL bedtimes for seniors in high school. F'ing 17. CROFL bedtimes for any kid in high school period for that matter, especially on the weekend. You guys are nuts.
We just try to steer our kids in the right direction so they don't end up as stupid 20-year-olds who say things like CROFL in public forums. No parent wants that for their child. Do your parents know you present yourself as an idiot to hundreds of strangers every day?

[MannyIsGod]

:lol

If I had had a bedtime in high school how could I have stayed up late to watch Star Trek TNG and then listen to Art Bell scare the shit out of me afterwards?

Oh and if there had been a west coast Spurs game on then forget me sleeping early.

[ALVAREZ6]

We just try to steer our kids in the right direction so they don't end up as stupid 20-year-olds who say things like CROFL in public forums. No parent wants that for their child. Do your parents know you present yourself as an idiot to hundreds of strangers every day?

lol @ believing there is any real significance to my forum life. I think my parents (if they knew), unlike you, understand what things to take with a grain of salt and how to look at the grand scheme of things. I believe my parents' parenting actually worked out quite well and are rather proud of their son who has a 3.80 GPA while double-majoring at a respectable university and will very likely have a job upon graduation (not to mention I could graduate half a semester early, so, 2 majors in 3.5 years, but have decided not to in order to have a more relaxed senior year and to take advantage of the great apartment I am locked in with for another year). It could be worse, or average. I could be a drug dealer attending and dropping out of community college, but instead am making the best use of the share of funds my parents provide me with. So, I think they would gladly accept the reality which includes the above along with the terrible downside of saying stupid things like CROFL on an internet forum, where nothing really matters, vs. the other possible scenarios.


I don't think they care what the anonymous online strangers think, to answer your question.

[Sense]

We just try to steer our kids in the right direction so they don't end up as stupid 20-year-olds who say things like CROFL in public forums. No parent wants that for their child. Do your parents know you present yourself as an idiot to hundreds of strangers every day?

Insult him all you want... He's right.

I was always the good kid.. A's and B's at school, but my parents didn't know I was in a gang and doing drugs and drinking alcohol.. I kept it secret, but nothing was going to stop me from all that crap.. I learned later on...


It's inevitable for any parent to stop their teenager from doing what they want to do.. call it rebellion or whatever, but at that age.. they will do what they want to do.

[ALVAREZ6]

Rule: NO SEX ALLOWED, I BETTER NOT CATCH YOU HAVING SEX!

Daughter: OK jack ass, it'll just have to happen at his house, or somewhere shady like in a car in a parking lot at night or side of the road. Have fun changing my hormones, end of the day I want that cock. Which is perfectly normal because I am a female human.


Anyone see the rule as problematic????? Education is the way. That is all.

[Gutter92]

I'd say relax on the bedtime thing...if shes in your house, who cares what time she goes to bed at? She's the one that will be getting up in the morning for school/work, and I'd tell her as long as her grades don't suffer, she can stay up til whenever she wants.

[desflood]

I think my parents (if they knew), unlike you, understand what things to take with a grain of salt and how to look at the grand scheme of things.
I don't think they care what the anonymous online strangers think, to answer your question.
I simply urge you to be careful of what you say - it's a very easy thing to slip up once, say the wrong thing to the wrong person once, and hurt for it for a very long time. In your grand scheme, much damage can be caused by a few improper or incorrect words.


It's inevitable for any parent to stop their teenager from doing what they want to do.. call it rebellion or whatever, but at that age.. they will do what they want to do.
Of course it is. I sure as hell did as a teen, despite my parents teaching me what they thought was "the right way".

[ALVAREZ6]

I simply urge you to be careful of what you say - it's a very easy thing to slip up once, say the wrong thing to the wrong person once, and hurt for it for a very long time. In your grand scheme, much damage can be caused by a few improper or incorrect words.


Ok. Thanks for the advice.

[Bukefal]

It seems nowadays there are no bedtimes for kids anymore. So its not you, its just times have changed. And she is 17 so, I agree with the poster who said above; cut her a little more slack

[DMC]

We just try to steer our kids in the right direction so they don't end up as stupid 20-year-olds who say things like CROFL in public forums. No parent wants that for their child. Do your parents know you present yourself as an idiot to hundreds of strangers every day?
I think they used him to make money when he was a kid. He was like the monkey and they were the organ grinder....

[Kyle Orton]

I have extremely over protective parents who still even have a curfew for me when I'm visiting home (which is stupid given I could just as easily be at school and not have a curfew at all), and even I no longer had a bed time by age 15. If she's getting good grades, don't see unnecessary rules.

[Kyle Orton]

We just try to steer our kids in the right direction so they don't end up as stupid 20-year-olds who say things like CROFL in public forums. No parent wants that for their child. Do your parents know you present yourself as an idiot to hundreds of strangers every day?

Tbh, I think my parents would be more ashamed of me if I enjoyed watching two sweaty men in spandex role around in a cage.

[ALVAREZ6]

I think they used him to make money when he was a kid. He was like the monkey and they were the organ grinder....
This post is humorous

[desflood]

Tbh, I think my parents would be more ashamed of me if I enjoyed watching two sweaty men in spandex role around in a cage.
As would mine, which is why I never watch pro wrestling.

[ploto]

I have extremely over protective parents who still even have a curfew for me when I'm visiting home (which is stupid given I could just as easily be at school and not have a curfew at all...

You realize your parents probably do not go to sleep until after you get home, so it only makes sense that someone as mature as you are would have consideration for the people with whom he is living.

If his daughter wants to show her maturity and ability to make choices, then she should be able to come to him in a mature manner with a discussion about how she has shown her ability to be responsible as opposed to telling him he sucks ass and threatening to move in with her aunt. The permission to have her own opinions does not mean that she has permission to express them in a disrespectful manner.

[Wild Cobra]

I just read the first few posts. However my suggestion is let her have some freedom as long as she maintains acceptable grades. Make it a condition with set standards. If you try to maintain too tight of control, you increase the chances of her rebelling, and being worse off. Just point out how tired she can be and let yourself have those "see I told you so" moments. Without guidance, and the freedom to see the wisdom of guidance first hand, I believe you do more harm.

[TacoCabanaFajitas]

My parents pretty much let me do whatever I wanted as far as bedtimes went. I'd be up until 3-4 a.m on weekdays playing counter-strike and doing homework, my parents only request was usually that I not cuss so loud when going into a nerd rage on the mic. I had good grades, was involved heavily in music (made a few honor bands), and also had a job working 25 hours a week or more during my last 2 years of HS. I'm not sure when the bedtime thing changed, maybe 9th grade? Some people just have different hours, I'm ridiculously productive between 1-6 a.m and could never do homework before then anyways. My mom pretty much made all of the rules in the house, and basically all she would tell me is if my grades dropped or I started getting into trouble once I started partying on the weekends, then the shit was over and I'd be sitting in my room jerkin it all week with the lights off by 10.

[Leetonidas]

Keep her on a leash Joe, trust me. I was that age not too long ago, and I know plenty of people in that age range and every 17 year old girl is out trying to get dicked down by some faggot at her school. Seems like she has plenty of freedoms really, you let her stay up til almost midnight and kids have school at 8:30 so I don't see the problem. There's probably some boy behind the recent attitude towards your rules so just keep an eye out because teenagers are conniving mother fuckers and can lie like no tomorrow. Just based on my experiences and people I know, I'd say 75% the time your kid is out they aren't where they say they are nor are they doing what they claim to be doing. Get one of those phones with the GPS tracker on it too.

[Leetonidas]

Oh and getting good grades don't mean shit...I knew plenty of bitches that were skanking around, getting high and drunk and sucking cocks behind the stairwell and they were Honor Society kids...hell I was an A student I used to get high and skip class all the time. It's easy to get good grades, it takes very minimal effort.

[2Blonde]

Joe,
As a dad, you are doing great. you enforce rules but you are also showing that you respect your daughters by allowing them to voice their opinions. 11 sounds fine for wrapping up and getting ready for bed, but realistically they're gonna find ways to communicate when they want. She's a good kid, you should give in and tell her that as long as she continues to stay away from alcohol, drugs, sex, etc. & gets up in the morning without a hassle, along with bringing home good grades, then you will let her decide when she goes to sleep. you can always take away the cell phone if she slacks off. Good Luck

[ALVAREZ6]

Keep her on a leash Joe, trust me. I was that age not too long ago, and I know plenty of people in that age range and every 17 year old girl is out trying to get dicked down by some faggot at her school. Seems like she has plenty of freedoms really, you let her stay up til almost midnight and kids have school at 8:30 so I don't see the problem. There's probably some boy behind the recent attitude towards your rules so just keep an eye out because teenagers are conniving mother fuckers and can lie like no tomorrow. Just based on my experiences and people I know, I'd say 75% the time your kid is out they aren't where they say they are nor are they doing what they claim to be doing. Get one of those phones with the GPS tracker on it too.

:rolleyes:rolleyes:rolleyes


Oh and getting good grades don't mean shit...I knew plenty of bitches that were skanking around, getting high and drunk and sucking cocks behind the stairwell and they were Honor Society kids...hell I was an A student I used to get high and skip class all the time. It's easy to get good grades, it takes very minimal effort.

Pretty contradictory series of posts tbh. As you and I both know, kids are going to do what they truly want to do regardless of what their parents think... Which is why your keep on the leash advice is pretty weak.

[ALVAREZ6]

stay away from sex

:lol






Dad: NO SEX ALLOWED!

17/18 Year Old Daughter with Boyfriend: Okayzzz, whatever you say dad! *wink*

Dad: That'a girl!


The above is known to happen with successful results.

[JoeChalupa]

Well, so I give in a little and sure enough I get up to go to the head and see her light is still on at 1am. I calmly tell her to shut it down. I kept my voice down though and did not talk loud.

[DesignatedT]

better let up now before it's too late tbh. You can give her a curfew but dont start calling her out on late phone calls. wtf does that hurt anyway? it's not like she's drinking and driving or anything.