So What's Your Wiping Technique?

[CubanSucks]

how many sheets and how do you use them? For me, I go with 5 sheets per wipe and I roll them up into a ball. On the really nasty ones I use 6 sheets and it really does make a big difference :lol



So how about you? Do you do the folding technique? Is there some sort of special shape that you make before sticking it down there in you crack? Be kind in your response, remember that I have a hairy butt crack so I'm required to use more tp :toast

[Viva Las Espuelas]

You should really manscape your back crack to save on paper.

[Frenzy]

Baby wipes :toast

[lefty]

Tons of sheets



Then run some water in there



I don't care how hard you wipe, if you don't follow up with a good water rinse, you a re a stinky dirty SOB

[Viva Las Espuelas]

Baby wipes :toast

"Ewwww. Fish and roses"

[Giuseppe]

Baby wipes :toast

Amen. Then at the end you split one, fold it, lodge it and you're right as the mail. Falls out sometimes around the house though.

[Cyrano]

I use parchment from 12th century illuminated manuscripts moistened with orphan's tears.

Signed,
Oprah
http://cdn.inquisitr.com/wp-content/2011/05/Oprah-Winfrey-Closeup.jpeg

[cantthinkofanything]

For me it depends on the dispenser. If it's an open ended dispenser where you can easily take the roll off, I will take the roll off and loop some paper around my hand. I never counted before but this morning, knowing about the thread, I made a point to roll then count. So it turned out to be 8 pieces. Anyway, once I'm done rolling around my hand, I pull my hand out which leaves a nice layered square.
However, if it's a fixed roll dispenser, I go with the crumple method. Where I end up with a paper ball kind of thing like the OP.
I'll do this as many times as necessary to make sure I don't see any brown. Regardless of blood.

I have arthritis and many years ago, my right had was really bad. So I had to use my left hand to wipe with. So now I can go left or right handed. Can anyone else claim to be able to do this?

[cantthinkofanything]

I use parchment from 12th century illuminated manuscripts moistened with orphan's tears.

Signed,
Oprah


Wouldn't the illumination catch your butt hairs on fire?

[tlongII]

I have Toto toilets installed which wash your ass with a jet of warm water for you. All you have to do is dry. They have heated seats too.

[Cyrano]

Wouldn't the illumination catch your butt hairs on fire?

You're confusing Oprah's technique with mine. I use copies of the constitution moistened with holy water.

Signed,
Dickie Cheney

http://tvnewslies.org/tvnl/images/content/cheney/dick_cheney.jpg

[cantthinkofanything]

You're confusing Oprah's technique with mine. I use copies of the constitution moistened with holy water.

Signed,
Dickie Cheney



Ok, the Oprah thing was funny. But that's enough. I believe the OP was genuine in his question. So let's give this thread the respect it deserves and not let it break down into a bunch of one liners and sarcastic posts.

[Cyrano]

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/HPM/FM1461~Wipe-My-Butt.jpg

[Leetonidas]

No wonder you're a Jizz Mopper

[Venti Quattro]

The lefty crew. :sleep

[resistanze]

Second butthole thread in 2 days? smh

Stop beating around the bush and ask what you really want to ask.

[cantthinkofanything]

Second butthole thread in 2 days? smh

Stop beating around the bush and ask what you really want to ask.

Fourth. There's four butthole threads:

1. Guy Thread (although this one is more weighted to scrotum talk)
2. I had to wipe so much my hole started to bleed
3. toilet paper alternative (no homo)
4. So what's your wiping technique?

[mrsmaalox]

Surely silverblk mystix will be relieved to see that the Butthole Clique's threads outnumber the Weather Sheep Clique's :tu

[resistanze]

Fourth. There's four butthole threads:

1. Guy Thread (although this one is more weighted to scrotum talk)
2. I had to wipe so much my hole started to bleed
3. toilet paper alternative (no homo)
4. So what's your wiping technique?

All roundabout ways in an attempt to solicit gay sex, imo.

[cantthinkofanything]

All roundabout ways in an attempt to solicit gay sex, imo.

Well we can't all just ask our dad like you do.

[ALVAREZ6]

Baby wipes :toast

Finally another poster with some wiping sense around here :toast

http://www.freesnatcher.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/scott-naturals-wipes.jpg?9d7bd4

[resistanze]

Well we can't all just ask our dad like you do.

What'd you do to piss him off?

[TE]

Tons of sheets



Then run some water in there



I don't care how hard you wipe, if you don't follow up with a good water rinse, you a re a stinky dirty SOB

[CubanSucks]

Surely silverblk mystix will be relieved to see that the Butthole Clique's threads outnumber the Weather Sheep Clique's :tu

These threads are practical and helpful. All the weather threads are pure nonsense

[CubanSucks]

The lefty crew. :sleep


http://troll.me/images/jelly-kiss/u-jelly.jpg


http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/U+Mad+Comp+So+here+is+some+OC+that+i_cd4a6c_132225 0.jpg


http://cdn0.knowyourmeme.com/i/000/082/156/original/u-jelly.jpg?1289437657

[2pac > Kobe]

http://troll.me/images/jelly-kiss/u-jelly.jpg


http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/U+Mad+Comp+So+here+is+some+OC+that+i_cd4a6c_132225 0.jpg


http://cdn0.knowyourmeme.com/i/000/082/156/original/u-jelly.jpg?1289437657
lick precious tits you fucking faggot

[mavs>spurs]

spread your legs and crouch a bit then the anus is exposed to air so that you can clean it up quite easy tbh it doesn't matter how many sheets of paper you use, the best strategy is however still taking a bath right after pooping

[cantthinkofanything]

Fourth. There's four butthole threads:

1. Guy Thread (although this one is more weighted to scrotum talk)
2. I had to wipe so much my hole started to bleed
3. toilet paper alternative (no homo)
4. So what's your wiping technique?

UPDATE: Five butthole threads:

1. Guy Thread (although this one is more weighted to scrotum talk)
2. I had to wipe so much my hole started to bleed
3. toilet paper alternative (no homo)
4. So what's your wiping technique?
5. Serious question (no homo)