PDA

View Full Version : As Cain Drops Out, Pro-adultery Voters Shift to Gingrich


boutons_deux
11-30-2011, 10:33 AM
CONCORD, NH (The Borowitz Report) – Herman Cain withdrew from the Republican presidential race today, a move that resulted in millions of pro-adultery voters shifting their support to former House Speaker Newt Gingrich.

The shift in support is significant because pro-adultery voters represent the single largest voting bloc in the Republican Party, experts say.

Tracy Klugian, a prominent adulterer from Concord, New Hampshire, said he was sorry to see Mr. Cain leave the race “because he was very committed to the one issue I care about: namely, adultery.”

But he added that he had been in touch with many other adulterers in the state and that they were all switching to Mr. Gingrich.

“Even when we were supporting Cain, a lot of us were supporting Gingrich behind his back,” the adulterer said. “I guess that’s how we do.”

http://www.borowitzreport.com/

====

And Willard is no less of a laughingstock.
DMX7
11-30-2011, 11:44 AM
“Even when we were supporting Cain, a lot of us were supporting Gingrich behind his back,” the adulterer said. “I guess that’s how we do.”

http://www.borowitzreport.com/



:lol

It's how they prove they're real men. :rolleyes
LnGrrrR
11-30-2011, 11:47 AM
:lol Another article on that site...

Startled Deer Becomes New Republican Frontrunner

http://www.borowitzreport.com/2011/11/15/startled-deer-becomes-new-republican-frontrunner/
boutons_deux
12-01-2011, 02:10 PM
Gingrich: ‘I’ve Screwed All the Women I Want – All That’s Left is America’

http://www.borowitzreport.com/wp-content/uploads/newt.jpg


DAVENPORT, IOWA (The Borowitz Report) – GOP presidential frontrunner Newt Gingrich today vowed that his days of infidelity were behind him, telling an audience in Iowa, “I’ve screwed all the women I want – all that’s left is America.”

Mr. Gingrich added that as President, “I will be one hundred percent faithful to the United States of America, unless of course it gets cancer or something.”

He also scoffed at rival Mitt Romney’s attempts to portray himself as a happily married family man: “The only reason Mitt Romney hasn’t had any sex scandals is he keeps changing positions.”

http://www.borowitzreport.com/
coyotes_geek
12-01-2011, 02:11 PM
It's like the Onion, only not funny..............
Wild Cobra
12-01-2011, 05:59 PM
As Cain Drops Out, Pro-adultery Voters Shift to Gingrich
Wow... That will be a landslide, picking up the Clinton votes also!