Almost got fired today.

[apalisoc_9]

Almost Got Fired For Sending Humorous Line on text.

"I would swim up the Amazon with 45 pound dumbbells tied to my scrotum and Ellen Degeneres’ queef as my air supply if it meant I could eat a sea food dinner with you on skype on a dial up internet connection".

What Humorless individual. Thank God, she was the only one who thought it was harassment. Made Some nice friends out of said line and have used on friends as well...now, I am almost jobless( no way im apologizing for that)..I dont even know how that equals sexual harasment..Outrageous.

We talk alot at work, She has literely had fed me food and
knows i joke alot.

Anyways, she assumed i had a thing for her..Keept texting and calling for two days while i was on vacation but disregarded since i did not want to leave the idea that i was serious about her.

Now my boss says, i need to make an apology or i am fired..How does that even count harassment? Worst day of my career so far.

:depressed

[ChumpDumper]

Apologize and don't do it again.

[DMC]

Surely you aren't qualified for any job you cannot walk across the street and reapply for by sitting in a booth and talking to a shift manager for 10 minutes.

[Blake]

Company phone?

[apalisoc_9]

Company phone?

It was a personal text. Assuming I was indeed a weirdo, that does not even qualify as being sexual harassment. This is just Plain sad..I fear that reason why she did was that because i never really replied back or answered her calls..

She thought i was being serious about her and shit..SO i aborted and disregarded.

[Dex]

1) Scrotum is not a work appropriate word, thus is probably not a word you should use with co-workers, lest it end up ringing your boss' ears.

2) The same goes for queef, which is also a word that women seem to particularly detest. If anything in that sentence set her off, that was probably it.

3) Maybe you are mistaken about this girl liking you, otherwise she probably wouldn't be calling sexual harassment on you. Most people don't threaten others jobs just because they've been rejected.

4) Man up and apologize, unless you feel like defending your bad joke is worth losing your job over.

5) Never, ever use that line again, because it's not as funny as you seem to think.

[apalisoc_9]

1) Scrotum is not a work appropriate word, thus is probably not a word you should use with co-workers, lest it end up ringing your boss' ears.

2) The same goes for queef, which is also a word that women seem to particularly detest. If anything in that sentence set her off, that was probably it.

3) Maybe you are mistaken about this girl liking you, otherwise she probably wouldn't be calling sexual harassment on you. Most people don't threaten others jobs just because they've been rejected.

4) Man up and apologize, unless you feel like defending your bad joke is worth losing your job over.

5) Never, ever use that line again, because it's not as funny as you seem to think.

Tbh, she did say i was sweet. Which is why i dont understand it..Either She thought i was serious and sweet or making a joke about it. Next thing I know, My boss calls me about it. We didnt even do it at work, this was all done on personal time outside of work, which makes it even less of a reason to fire me over such a thing.

[pawe]

Man up and apologize. Men will never win in a sexual harassment issue against women anyway.

[apalisoc_9]

Man up and apologize. Men will never win in a sexual harassment issue against women anyway.

will have to i guess.

[DeadlyDynasty]

I can't imagine any woman reading a text like that w/o thinking you are strange and/or creepy. I know your intentions were to be funny, but come on man...think before you send a female something like that.

[4>0rings]

Just apologize and get it over with and keep your job in this shit economy.

[Pistons < Spurs]

1) Scrotum is not a work appropriate word, thus is probably not a word you should use with co-workers, lest it end up ringing your boss' ears.

2) The same goes for queef, which is also a word that women seem to particularly detest. If anything in that sentence set her off, that was probably it.

3) Maybe you are mistaken about this girl liking you, otherwise she probably wouldn't be calling sexual harassment on you. Most people don't threaten others jobs just because they've been rejected.

4) Man up and apologize, unless you feel like defending your bad joke is worth losing your job over.

5) Never, ever use that line again, because it's not as funny as you seem to think.Bingo

[Blake]

It was a personal text.

Company phone?

[Trainwreck2100]

apologize if she does like you get her to send you racy shit, go to boss, win.

[resistanze]

That text was terribly unfunny. I'd fire you just for that alone.

[Cant_Be_Faded]

lol! queef as an air supply? dude you should do stand up comedy. Funniest thing i've read all day.

[DUNCANownsKOBE]

Do people seriously think this thread is serious?

[Monostradamus]

Do people seriously think this thread is serious?

:lol exactly. within 5 seconds I knew it was bullshit. everything about that first post screams copypasta unless you're a fuckin retard.....then again this is The Club we're talkin about.

[Monostradamus]

oh, what do you know! google "I would swim up the Amazon with 45 pound dumbbells tied to my scrotum" and you get like 5 million hits.

You guys are fucking mongoloids.

[Wild Cobra]

oh, what do you know! google "I would swim up the Amazon with 45 pound dumbbells tied to my scrotum" and you get like 5 million hits.

You guys are fucking mongoloids.
That's more manly than Jack LaLane!

Wiki Jack LaLane (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_lalane):

1954 (age 40): swam the entire length (8,981 ft/1.7 mi) of the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, under water, with 140 pounds (64 kg; 10 st) of air tanks and other equipment strapped to his body; a world record.
1955 (age 41): swam from Alcatraz Island to Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco while handcuffed. When interviewed afterwards he was quoted as saying that the worst thing about the ordeal was being handcuffed, which significantly reduced his chance to do a jumping jack.
1956 (age 42): set what was claimed as a world record of 1,033 push-ups in 23 minutes on You Asked For It,[31] a television program hosted by Art Baker.
1957 (age 43): swam the Golden Gate channel while towing a 2,500-pound (1,100 kg; 180 st) cabin cruiser. The swift ocean currents turned this one-mile (1.6 km) swim into a swimming distance of 6.5 miles (10.5 km).
1958 (age 44): maneuvered a paddleboard nonstop from Farallon Islands to the San Francisco shore. The 30-mile (48 km) trip took 9.5 hours.
1959 (age 45): did 1,000 jumping jacks and 1,000 chin-ups in 1 hour, 22 minutes, to promote The Jack LaLanne Show going nationwide. LaLanne said this was the most difficult of his stunts, but only because the skin on his hands started ripping off during the chin-ups. He felt he couldn't stop because it would be seen as a public failure.
1974 (age 60): For the second time, he swam from Alcatraz Island to Fisherman's Wharf. Again, he was handcuffed, but this time he was also shackled and towed a 1,000-pound (450 kg; 71 st) boat. At least that's according to his website. However, according to an account of this event published the day after it occurred in the Los Angeles Times, written by Philip Hager, a Times staff writer, LaLanne was neither handcuffed nor shackled if each of those terms has the unconventional meaning of "tightly binding the wrists or ankles together with a pair of metal fasteners" although that's not how handcuffs or shackles work. Hager says that LaLanne "had his hands and feet bound with cords that allowed minimal freedom". But "minimal" clearly did not mean "no" freedom, since elsewhere in the article Hager describes LaLanne's method of propulsion through the water as "half-breast-stroke, half-dog paddle" which is how you swim with your hands tied.
1975 (age 61): Repeating his performance of 21 years earlier, he again swam the entire length of the Golden Gate Bridge, underwater and handcuffed, but this time he was shackled and towed a 1,000-pound (450 kg; 71 st) boat.
1976 (age 62): To commemorate the "Spirit of '76", United States Bicentennial, he swam one mile (1.6 km) in Long Beach Harbor. He was handcuffed and shackled, and he towed 13 boats (representing the 13 original colonies) containing 76 people.[32]
1979 (age 65): towed 65 boats in Lake Ashinoko, near Tokyo, Japan. He was handcuffed and shackled, and the boats were filled with 6,500 pounds (2,900 kg; 460 st) of Louisiana Pacific wood pulp.[33]
1980 (age 66): towed 10 boats in North Miami, Florida. The boats carried 77 people, and he towed them for over one mile (1.6 km) in less than one hour.
1984 (age 70): handcuffed, shackled, and fighting strong winds and currents, towed 70 rowboats, one with several guests, from the Queen’s Way Bridge in the Long Beach Harbor to the Queen Mary, 1 mile.[34]

Jack LaLanne: The first fitness superhero (http://www.mnn.com/health/fitness-well-being/blogs/jack-lalanne-the-first-fitness-superhero):

When a 21-year-old Arnold Schwarzenegger first came to America in 1968, he witnessed 54-year-old Jack LaLanne down on Venice Beach in California doing thousands of push-ups and chin-ups. A challenge was declared — and Arnold, the youngest Mr. Universe at the time, went on to lose. Badly.

"I beat him in chin-ups and push-ups," LaLanne says. "He said, 'That Jack LaLanne's an animal! I was sore for four days. I couldn't lift my arms!' "

[Destro]

It's not sexual harassment but it's likely that you are creating a hostile work environment

[rascal]

It was not funny at all and shows poor judgment on your part.

Start looking for a new job. Your reputation is bad now. You did not read that girl at all, she played you. She does not like you as much as you thought. If she liked you no way she makes a fuss about it.

[DMX7]

Seems like your fishing for sympathy, but you will not find it here.