Has anyone seen their parents "do it?"

[marini martini]

I never walked in on my parents doing it. But one of my bastard children walked in on me & the old man with out our knowledge. The little 9 y.o. retard then acquired a deep fascination with the hand held massager we kept hidden under the bed. I came home one day to find him watching TV and massaging his freaking neck.:wow


So lets hear it ST..................tell your stories. Either seeing your parents do it, or one of you kids catching you

[bus driver]

no and is this a massager or a "massager"

[Viva Las Espuelas]

:lmao


And no.

[JudynTX]

Never saw my parents do it. Since we don't have kids, just our cats walk in on us. :lmao

[marini martini]

no and is this a massager or a "massager"

FIFY

"hand held massager"

Better???

[Oh, Gee!!]

you're a horrible mother?

[bus driver]

FIFY

"hand held massager"

Better???

must of gotten it for your bday :tu

[mrsmaalox]

Never walked in on my parents-----probably because I'm pretty sure the only 2 times my mom ever had sex was when my brother and I were conceived ;)

I don't believe my kids have ever walked in either. But a few years ago my neighbor came over and innocently asked if my kids "mentioned" anything that happened at their house the day before. I said no, so then she laughed and said her husband had caught all the neighborhood kids sitting on their bed watching tv and giving each other back rubs with one of those little egg vibes they kept under a pillow :lol

[Blake]

I don't get why he was massaging his neck.

Is "neck" code word for something else?

[CosmicCowboy]

I don't get why he was massaging his neck.

Is "neck" code word for something else?

chicken neck

[marini martini]

must of gotten it for your bday :tu

Yes, I did 80 years ago!:lol

http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff231/marini-martini/images-1-1.jpg



I don't get why he was massaging his neck.

Is "neck" code word for something else?


I guess he stopped massaging his crotch when he saw me come in. If I didn't know better I would swear you are him. :wow

[Blake]

I guess he stopped massaging his crotch when he saw me come in. If I didn't know better I would swear you are him. :wow

Sorry, not me.

I never found any sex toys under moms bed, and she is apparently younger than you

[benefactor]

Never caught them...but unfortunately I've heard them through the wall many times.

My parents have a bunch of land and for a while my brother lived in the back of it. He was walking up to the house when he saw them having sex on the couch through the back windows. He said turned around and ran back to the house as fast as he could. Glad it's not me living with that image or the rest of my life.

[mavs>spurs]

I never walked in on my parents doing it. But one of my bastard children walked in on me & the old man with out our knowledge. The little 9 y.o. retard then acquired a deep fascination with the hand held massager we kept hidden under the bed. I came home one day to find him watching TV and massaging his freaking neck.:wow


So lets hear it ST..................tell your stories. Either seeing your parents do it, or one of you kids catching you


You call your kid a "bastard" and a "little 9 y.o. retard?" It's not his fault you're a shitty mother, go fist yourself you fucking bitch.

[marini martini]

http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff231/marini-martini/386476_225674410838000_211472482258193_614244_3255 04539_n.jpg

[DMC]

I've got it on video, and so can you! Ask me how!

[Blake]

http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff231/marini-martini/386476_225674410838000_211472482258193_614244_3255 04539_n.jpg

is that a picture of your 9 year old son after he walked in on you?

[BlackSwordsMan]

No I've tried many times

[CosmicCowboy]

Hell, my parents don't even hold hands in public, much less have sex in public.

That being said, my bedroom was down the hall and they might as well have gotten on the PA, system and flashed the lights and announced "WE ARE ABOUT TO DO THE DEED!!!!" on the rare occasions they got it on.

They were cheap and rarely ran the AC so all doors, windows, etc. usually stayed open.

They would wait about an hour after all the lights went out and I would hear whispering and then hear mom get up and close the door.

Then about 30 seconds later I would hear a muffled...

SQUEAK..urk...SQUEAK...urk....SQUEAK...urk...SQUEA K...urk...etc....

For about three minutes...

Then a muffled UUUUGH!

Then moms bathroom light would come on and water would run...

Than the bedroom door would open and dad would come to the hall bath and pee...

:lol

Even as a kid I was like...hmmmm...Is that REALLY how it's supposed to work?...I think dad must be doing something wrong...

[Viva Las Espuelas]

:lol that's awesome. I just don't know if I could just lie there while I heard my dad penetrate my mom :lmao
Just like mrs m, I don't know if my parents had sex other than the two times they got funky to have me and my sis.

[cantthinkofanything]

:lol that's awesome. I just don't know if I could just lie there while I heard my dad penetrate my mom :lmao
Just like mrs m, I don't know if my parents had sex other than the two times they got funky to have me and my sis.

Jesus. Did you really say, "while I heard my dad PENETRATE my mom."
Just Jesus.

[mavs>spurs]

http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff231/marini-martini/386476_225674410838000_211472482258193_614244_3255 04539_n.jpg

It's not just that I don't like you, it's also the fact that you're a fucked up person and shitty parent so naturally I feel bad for the kid. People like you shouldn't be allowed to reproduce.

[mavs>spurs]

Besides, isn't 50 like too old to have a 9 year old?

[cantthinkofanything]

Besides, isn't 50 like too old to have a 9 year old?

edit - bad taste

[mavs>spurs]

What kind of parent scars their kids for life by not being responsible enough to lock the door so that he had to see your nasty flabby pasty ass and floppy titties all over the place? Seriously, then you leave sex toys around the house I should call CPS you old bitch.

[The Gemini Method]

Growing up, I don't think I ever saw my 'rents doing it--I did hear them though and man, the dirty talk was hilarious. I'm sure it'll be the same if I had kids...lol

[Viva Las Espuelas]

Jesus. Did you really say, "while I heard my dad PENETRATE my mom."
Just Jesus.

That's the way it works best :toast

[CosmicCowboy]

YH, you need to chill out. You are going way over the top.

[mavs>spurs]

No. She's an irresponsible parent and taught her sexually deviant behaviors to her 9 year old who now uses mommy's vibrator, then called her child "a little 9 y.o. retard" for her own mistakes. Good parents are responsible and don't make excuses. Plus this chick has always been a flat out retard by her posting history..I think I went easy on her for what I really wanted to say.

[cantthinkofanything]

No. She's an irresponsible parent and taught her sexually deviant behaviors to her 9 year old who now uses mommy's vibrator, then called her child "a little 9 y.o. retard" for her own mistakes. Good parents are responsible and don't make excuses. Plus this chick has always been a flat out retard by her posting history..I think I went easy on her for what I really wanted to say.

Hey, where'd you get that thing?

[mavs>spurs]

what thing?

[Sportcamper]

I really think that YH is Captain Insano in real life…:lmao

[CosmicCowboy]

Hey, where'd you get that thing?


what thing?

:lmao

Take it easy on YH, he.s a little slow.

[cantthinkofanything]

what thing?

Huh...oh, I was talking to the parrot.

[mavs>spurs]

That's my pet Giuseppe!

[Viva Las Espuelas]

YH, you need to chill out. You are going way over the top.

[JoeChalupa]

No, were always taught to knock from a very young age.

[cantthinkofanything]

No, were always taught to knock from a very young age.

Joe, I seen your mom do it several times. Just not with your dad.

[marini martini]

Great stories guys!:tu Keep em coming!

................and for all you retarded bastids who are so worried about my retarded bastid son, I just got back from visiting him in the retarded bastid home. Showed him this thread on his retarded lap top, he laughed & wanted me to tell all y'all hey!

[cantthinkofanything]

Great stories guys!:tu Keep em coming!

................and for all you retarded bastids who are so worried about my retarded bastid son, I just got back from visiting him in the retarded bastid home. Showed him this thread on his retarded lap top, he laughed & wanted me to tell all y'all hey!

oh noes!

did you haded the sex with his roommate while he watching??

[DMC]

I remember, though I really don't want to, the stench of poor folk sex in that dilapidated trailer house, the way that stench mingled with the hand rolled cigarette smoke and the effervescence of a clogged, unflushed toilet. The sounds of a fat man, his hairy underbelly not unlike that of a large catfish, slapping rhythmically against the sweaty flab fest that was my mother. That pressed wood door, those fake brass knobs, the tan faux paneling and the matted down, dog shit smelling carpet that lined the hallway until it reached the small, lime filled toilet where it slowly morphed into a collage of piss and shit and cigarette burns.

Oh I remember alright.

[Boris]

Once, and it was a total buzz killer.

[marini martini]

I remember, though I really don't want to, the stench of poor folk sex in that dilapidated trailer house, the way that stench mingled with the hand rolled cigarette smoke and the effervescence of a clogged, unflushed toilet. The sounds of a fat man, his hairy underbelly not unlike that of a large catfish, slapping rhythmically against the sweaty flab fest that was my mother. That pressed wood door, those fake brass knobs, the tan faux paneling and the matted down, dog shit smelling carpet that lined the hallway until it reached the small, lime filled toilet where it slowly morphed into a collage of piss and shit and cigarette burns.

Oh I remember alright.


Sonny!!!????? You retarded bastard, what are you doing up so late???


Good prose broa!:D

[Soul_Patch]

Hell, my parents don't even hold hands in public, much less have sex in public.

That being said, my bedroom was down the hall and they might as well have gotten on the PA, system and flashed the lights and announced "WE ARE ABOUT TO DO THE DEED!!!!" on the rare occasions they got it on.

They were cheap and rarely ran the AC so all doors, windows, etc. usually stayed open.

They would wait about an hour after all the lights went out and I would hear whispering and then hear mom get up and close the door.

Then about 30 seconds later I would hear a muffled...

SQUEAK..urk...SQUEAK...urk....SQUEAK...urk...SQUEA K...urk...etc....

For about three minutes...

Then a muffled UUUUGH!

Then moms bathroom light would come on and water would run...

Than the bedroom door would open and dad would come to the hall bath and pee...

:lol

Even as a kid I was like...hmmmm...Is that REALLY how it's supposed to work?...I think dad must be doing something wrong...


Ahaha...havent posted in months, but i had to say...best story ever! :lmao

[DMC]

Sonny!!!????? You retarded bastard, what are you doing up so late???


Good prose broa!:D

That's exactly what my dad said when I would stand on the old washing machine outside their window to peek in. The little manual window roller was broken so they could never close it, and the cardboard had long ago deteriorated past the point of being serviceable as a blind.

[DMC]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Washing_machine