wildbill2u
05-30-2012, 06:31 PM
Bill Simmons is the funniest sportswriter alive today since Dan Jenkins quit doing regular gigs for SI and went for money writing books and screenplays.
He's really in the "Spurs are a great team" mode in this piece that I have sampled for you below:
The Spurs-Zombies Retro Diary
You have to love a game where either a legendary series would be born or San Antonio would continue an epic run
By Bill Simmons on May 30, 2012
Memo to my editors on Tuesday afternoon: "I'm waking up at 5:00 a.m., making coffee and banging out a retro diary of San Antonio–Oklahoma City, Game 2. However this plays out, it's going to work. If the Spurs win, that's 20 in a row. Twenty in a row!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING???? And if OKC wins, we suddenly have a monster series and that's fun, too. It's a no-lose. This can only get screwed up if my alarm doesn't go off. Be ready."
My alarm went off. Let's start at the beginning of the second half, with the Spurs leading by 11 in one of those "even though they shot 58 percent, it still feels like they left something on the table and could go two levels higher" halves. That's the thing about the Spurs — when you're consistently getting layups, wide-open 3s and easy 10-footers, at some point your offensive ceiling has a retractable roof. Could they have a 75-point half in which they shoot 70 percent from the field? Could they score 30 points in a row? And why aren't more people excited about this? Anyway …
Let's just fast-forward to the end of the quarter because I can't wait for Sager vs. Popovich any longer. Our score after three: San Antonio 92, OKC 76. And yes, the Spurs just rolled off a 37-point quarter and made 65 percent of their shots. That's why they're the favorites.
12:00 remaining (fourth quarter) — Pop through gritted teeth after answering his 200th What's working so well for you guys out there?–type question of the past month: "Usually when you get a lead, it's a combination of getting stops at one end and keeping the pace at the other."
Translation: WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME DO THIS? WHY DO I HAVE TO TALK TO THIS MORON WHO'S WEARING A PEACH SUIT? I'M TRYING TO WIN A PLAYOFF GAME! I'M IN CHARGE OF A TEAM THAT HAS A CHANCE TO BE ONE OF THE BETTER TEAMS EVER! LEAVE ME ALONE! GET THIS PEACH IMBECILE AWAY FROM ME! NEXT TIME I WILL STAB PEACH IMBECILE IN THE JUGULAR WITH A PENCIL!!!!
Go to the url below for the rest of the long piece where he absolutely goes crazy over the Spurs and their chances for a title this year.
ttp://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7988382/the-spurs-zombies-retro-diary
He's really in the "Spurs are a great team" mode in this piece that I have sampled for you below:
The Spurs-Zombies Retro Diary
You have to love a game where either a legendary series would be born or San Antonio would continue an epic run
By Bill Simmons on May 30, 2012
Memo to my editors on Tuesday afternoon: "I'm waking up at 5:00 a.m., making coffee and banging out a retro diary of San Antonio–Oklahoma City, Game 2. However this plays out, it's going to work. If the Spurs win, that's 20 in a row. Twenty in a row!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING???? And if OKC wins, we suddenly have a monster series and that's fun, too. It's a no-lose. This can only get screwed up if my alarm doesn't go off. Be ready."
My alarm went off. Let's start at the beginning of the second half, with the Spurs leading by 11 in one of those "even though they shot 58 percent, it still feels like they left something on the table and could go two levels higher" halves. That's the thing about the Spurs — when you're consistently getting layups, wide-open 3s and easy 10-footers, at some point your offensive ceiling has a retractable roof. Could they have a 75-point half in which they shoot 70 percent from the field? Could they score 30 points in a row? And why aren't more people excited about this? Anyway …
Let's just fast-forward to the end of the quarter because I can't wait for Sager vs. Popovich any longer. Our score after three: San Antonio 92, OKC 76. And yes, the Spurs just rolled off a 37-point quarter and made 65 percent of their shots. That's why they're the favorites.
12:00 remaining (fourth quarter) — Pop through gritted teeth after answering his 200th What's working so well for you guys out there?–type question of the past month: "Usually when you get a lead, it's a combination of getting stops at one end and keeping the pace at the other."
Translation: WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME DO THIS? WHY DO I HAVE TO TALK TO THIS MORON WHO'S WEARING A PEACH SUIT? I'M TRYING TO WIN A PLAYOFF GAME! I'M IN CHARGE OF A TEAM THAT HAS A CHANCE TO BE ONE OF THE BETTER TEAMS EVER! LEAVE ME ALONE! GET THIS PEACH IMBECILE AWAY FROM ME! NEXT TIME I WILL STAB PEACH IMBECILE IN THE JUGULAR WITH A PENCIL!!!!
Go to the url below for the rest of the long piece where he absolutely goes crazy over the Spurs and their chances for a title this year.
ttp://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7988382/the-spurs-zombies-retro-diary