Eff Peyton Manning

[J.T.]

Dude is a major asshole. Obviously he foresaw that the team was busting draft picks left and right and wanted out. He needed a major injury to get out of Indy, because he knew the team was bad and would tank and being the gentleman he is couldn't leave in good conscience without at least giving Indy another No. 1 draft pick in return. He saw this coming years in advance so started chewing out offensive linemen:

4hBh4heBPEU

That way, they wouldn't protect him and he'd get hurt. Then after the 2010 season a lot of people thought Andrew Luck was going to leave school and go to the NFL. Peyton used his influence being family friends with the Lucks to tell Andrew to stay in school. In 2010 if Peyton Manning said something you listened. So Luck stayed in school. Manning finally went into surgery for neck problems that started back in 2006, forcing him to miss 2011 and guaranteeing the Colts the No.1 overall pick Luck, who he basically gave to them by telling him to stay in school.

Once the Colts had the No. 1 and Luck, Manning knew he would get released. So he is a free agent and starts flirting with Denver. Everyone thinks he should have gone to San Fran and didn't because he doesn't want to play Eli, but he went to Denver because they had the best offensive line in the NFL. I mean look how good Tebow was able to do behind that line. Tebow is a major joke who only gets contracts because of what he did at Florida and because the people who sign NFL contracts are fat white men who love Jesus. And since Tebow and JC are like BFFs, of course NFL owners like the guy.

Peyton also has the sympathy vote. Boo hoo, the Colts had to part ways with Peyton after 14 years. Let's hold a press conference where everybody cries and gets all choked up when they talk about it. Now the lasting image in everyone's heads is not Peyton playing football in a blue jersey, but looking sad and crying at his release conference. Moods quickly changed and the teams that needed a QB were rolling out red carpets, holding lavish sex and cocaine parties for him, the whole nine yards. We'll sign whatever free agent you want, Peyton. Whatever you need, done. We gotta make sure we don't pull an Indy and not give this guy players who can win.

In the end, the greatest quarterback ever pulled the biggest Keyser Soze trick of them all to get out of Indy and no one knows about it. And to think he won the Super Bowl and a couple of MVP trophies while doing all of this. Un-fucking-believable.

[stretch]

lol

[vander]

Chargers gonna put that a-hole back on IR

[J.T.]

Chargers gonna put that a-hole back on IR

Please do, the only thing Peyton Manning didn't do to Indianapolis was saying he's taking his talents to South Park.

[DeadlyDynasty]

Please do, the only thing Peyton Manning didn't do to Indianapolis was saying he's taking his talents to South Park.
:rollin

[Edward]

Manning went to Denver because Fox and Elway were willing to get on their knees and suck his dick harder than any other coach/GM were. Wherever Manning goes, he wants everything to be about him and he wants to be considered the leader of a team that would trip over its own dick without his help. Fox and Elway made it clear Manning would get to call his own shots in Denver and there was no way Harbaugh was gonna do that.

[Blake]

Chargers gonna put that a-hole back on IR

Probably not

[Bill_Brasky]

Manning went to Denver because Fox and Elway were willing to get on their knees and suck his dick harder than any other coach/GM were. Wherever Manning goes, he wants everything to be about him and he wants to be considered the leader of a team that would trip over its own dick without his help. Fox and Elway made it clear Manning would get to call his own shots in Denver and there was no way Harbaugh was gonna do that.

I think this is partly true. Manning wants unlimited control and Harbaugh isn't the type of coach to give that to one player(which is probably why his players love playing for him so much-- he doesn't play favorites).

[vander]

Probably not

:rolleyes

[Blake]

:rolleyes

Oh, so it was just another dumb vander post. I should have known.

[vander]

Oh, so it was just another dumb vander post. I should have known.

:rolleyes

[Homeland Security]

nice theory, i think he was behind 9/11 too

[TIMMYtoZO]

Harbaugh would have had it made with Peyton. All he had to do was give him the reigns to the O. That works to Peyton's strengths (This has always been the case as he sees things on the field that the coaches don't). Thank God Harbaugh has a big ego and stuck with 1/13.

[Blake]

:rolleyes


:rolleyes


Oh, so it was just another dumb vander post. I should have known.

[J.T.]

nice theory, i think he was behind 9/11 too

This theory goes way deeper than Indianapolis son. There is no turning back, once you know this information they will come for you too and you'll have to be on the run like me but I had rearview mirrors grafted into my forearms so most of the time I can get a head start.

Flash back to 1971. Archie Manning is drafted by the Saints and embarks on a career that goes absolutely nowhere because the team never got him any help. Peyton is born in 1976 and by about the same time he starts to develop cognition, his favorite team (the Saints) gets rid of his favorite player (his dad) and it's at that moment that the dream is born. Peyton resolves to become the greatest QB ever, but recognizes that football is the ultimate team game and if he doesn't get the help he can't be the greatest ever and will need some kind of contingency plan.

Fast forward to 1998. Peyton is drafted by the Colts with the No. 1 pick who had practically been sucking his dick since they finished in last place. Peyton knows the team is going to be bad at first, and has to find a way to simultaneously lose enough games to get a high draft pick whilst also posting the (at the time) best rookie QB season of all time. He accomplishes this and the Colts draft Edgerrin James. This coincides with the desires of Bill Polian, who was curbstomped by the Cowboys in the Super Bowl twice when he was GM of Buffalo. Polian needed a team that was like the Cowboys and now he had his Triplets. Manning, Harrison and James.

The Colts now had no trouble lighting up the scoreboard, and they didn't need Peyton to do everything. Life was good. But they still couldn't play defense. As the years went on, the Colts were winning more games with scores like 35-34 than 14-10. If Peyton was going to win the Super Bowl, he was going to have to do it himself. That's why it's incredibly ironic that the one Super Bowl run the Colts went on under Manning is filled with nothing but defensive highlights. The one exception is the Patriots game, where Manning had so much to prove that with a broken thumb he thrust the monkey off his back and repeatedly stabbed its corpse until everyone in the room was looking at him like he was crazy. All the other games he played like a game manager or worse, Tony Romo. He wasn't even the best player in Super Bowl XLI (should have been Rex Grossman) but got it on name recognition alone.

As a Super Bowl champion, Peyton should have been able to get whatever he wanted. But he didn't. Why? This is where the reasoning behind things becomes incredibly unclear. See, Bill Polian had been to the Super Bowl four times at Buffalo and got swept. All he wanted was one night in the spotlight, and in February 2007 down in rainy Miami, he got it. He turned over the reins to his son Chris and began his nepotistic ride into the sunset. But just because your dad sends five teams to the Super Bowl doesn't mean you're gonna be a good NFL GM. Chris was responsible for trading a 1st rounder to get Tony Ugoh. He was responsible for drafting Donald Brown when the team had just lost Marvin Harrison for good and Hakeem Nicks was still on the board. Worst of all, he was responsible for Jerry Hughes. After winning the Super Bowl, Peyton should have been given winners to start a dynasty. Instead he was given busts and had to win games by himself. Then... there was the 2009 season.

For Colts fans, 2009 brings out a lot of mixed emotions. I can't begin to fathom how a Patriots fan feels about 2007, but I would go so far as to say 2009 is pretty fucking close to that if not sadder. You see, the Patriots went for immortality and failed. The Colts were denied a shot at immortality by some faggot named Bill Polian who made roster decisions from the god damned skybox. I hate this man and thoroughly enjoy the fact that I get to watch him on ESPN now. Being an ESPN analyst means two things. You failed in the NFL, you retired from the NFL, or both. Good job, Bill. But for Peyton Manning that had to be the straw that broke the camel's back. Here you are, having given a franchise the NFL record for most wins in a decade, for most consecutive wins ever, one Super Bowl championship, 4-time MVP, over 300 touchdowns and your very existence got that city's taxpayers to buy and build a brand new stadium, and your GM (not your coach) benches you and the guys who helped you do all of that stuff for what, so Dwight Freeney can get hurt in garbage time of the AFC Championship and not completely but partially contribute to a Super Bowl loss? Week 16 of 2009 was the day Peyton Manning began to slowly kill the Colts.

His entire life, all Peyton wanted to be was the best. He could die of AIDS sustained from a gay sex addiction five years after being elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame as the only 19-0 Super Bowl winner, with all of Favre and Marino's records under his and be completely happy. But Polian intervened and left him with only being just another 18-1 Super Bowl champion, but at least not an 18-1 loser like Tom Brady. That's what hurt even more for Peyton... that Brady, the guy he is forever linked to, failed to cash in on 19-0 and now he had a shot at it only to get benched... for Curtis Painter. I don't think even Peyton knew how bad Painter was. The Colts lost to Buffalo the following week and now had two losses. Even at 17-2, a Super Bowl win would be a pretty dominant exclamation mark to the season. And a 2-0 record in the Super Bowl with Tom Brady sitting there at 3-1 would just about put him on even footing.

But no, the loyal Colt inside of Peyton died slowly on the sidelines of Lucas Oil Stadium while watching Curtis Painter get strip sacked and seeing the Jets return the fumble for a TD and the lead. The lead Peyton had worked hard to obtain for the Colts, gone in a split second. Because Polian needed his arm in the Super Bowl, only... he wouldn't get it. The Colts offensive playcalling in Super Bowl XLIV was uncharacteristically bad and from about 2002 and on Peyton basically called his own plays from the line. If you think the coaches called those plays, you are high. Peyton threw the game from kickoff. The halftime onside kick was just a convenient wrinkle that helped him hatch his plan. Peyton Manning knew he was an accurate quarterback and could throw a costly interception if he needed to. Down 7 with time running out in the 4th quarter, Peyton Manning saw Reggie Wayne covered by Tracy Porter and threw him anyway. Six the other way, Saints win. There was still time left on the clock, and Manning had to appear to save face. He drove the Colts all the way to the goal line and failed on fourth down, but he drove the field after the interception. Even in the Super Bowl he could bounce back. Thankfully, Tracy Porter was high on himself after the pick and said he had been spying studying film of the Colts and knew that play. Okay, so Peyton just got outsmarted. Doesn't happen often but definitely a possibility. Legacy tarnish averted.

You see, the Saints never got Archie Manning any help. But Archie's son did. His favorite team now had a Super Bowl win. Like any Super Bowl loser, the Colts would scramble to figure out why. Players were scapegoated and cut. For some reason Polian targeted the offensive line. The 2010 season started and the Colts go down to Houston for Week 1 with a piss poor starting five protecting Peyton. He almost doesn't get up off the turf after one big hit. I like to think that while he was down, something like this occurred:

ITV0oLu5mqA

He had received his vision that he needed to get out of Indy. Even before the big hit in Houston, there were rumors about Peyton's neck being hurt. Of course no one believed them because he was still posting 4,000 yard 33 TD seasons, but they ended up being true. The talent was no longer there in Indy, and if he wanted to achieve his dream of being the best QB ever, he'd have to go to another team. But Peyton could not look like the bad guy. What point is there in being the best QB of all time if you're also tagged as the guy who shat on his franchise? He had to deflect the blame on someone else. Meanwhile, Jim Irsay became bored with being a billionaire and became Batman discovered Twitter. . . .

It was the perfect set-up. "My rich owner can't get off Twitter, this is just what I need!" As the NFL season went on and the Colts and Manning struggled, Andrew Luck was lighting it up at Stanford in the NCAA. Everyone thought he was going to be the No. 1 pick. Luck and Manning's fathers played together in the NFL, so Peyton and Andrew were friends. Peyton convinced Luck to stay in school for the following year to help save face. Peyton would gift the Colts with a quarterback worthy of taking over for him, sending the franchise into the toilet for a few seasons while he went somewhere else to win Super Bowls and possibly get another shot at 19-0. Now all Peyton had to do was find a way to make the Colts the worst team in the NFL. In the offseason following the 2010 season, Peyton had surgery on his neck. The Colts played 2011 without him, whilst he rehabbed and pleaded to play late in the season even though he knew they wouldn't let him. The previous regime was all axed because of the team's failures and the only two major figures left were Irsay and Manning.

Although he didn't want to, Peyton feuded with Irsay in the local and national press, especially during Super Bowl week, to make it look like Indy was a hostile environment for him and not a good place to be during recovery. Peyton had to get out of Indy without pissing off the fans. The Colts had Luck on the way, new front office staff, new coaches. . . Manning was the elephant in the room and was forced out by Irsay. He would be the martyr in Indianapolis. I loved Peyton Manning when he was a Colt and had a lot of fun watching him, but he bailed on Indy when we needed him the most. Eff Peyton Manning.

[DeadlyDynasty]

This theory goes way deeper than Indianapolis son. There is no turning back, once you know this information they will come for you too and you'll have to be on the run like me but I had rearview mirrors grafted into my forearms so most of the time I can get a head start.

Flash back to 1971. Archie Manning is drafted by the Saints and embarks on a career that goes absolutely nowhere because the team never got him any help. Peyton is born in 1976 and by about the same time he starts to develop cognition, his favorite team (the Saints) gets rid of his favorite player (his dad) and it's at that moment that the dream is born. Peyton resolves to become the greatest QB ever, but recognizes that football is the ultimate team game and if he doesn't get the help he can't be the greatest ever and will need some kind of contingency plan.

Fast forward to 1998. Peyton is drafted by the Colts with the No. 1 pick who had practically been sucking his dick since they finished in last place. Peyton knows the team is going to be bad at first, and has to find a way to simultaneously lose enough games to get a high draft pick whilst also posting the (at the time) best rookie QB season of all time. He accomplishes this and the Colts draft Edgerrin James. This coincides with the desires of Bill Polian, who was curbstomped by the Cowboys in the Super Bowl twice when he was GM of Buffalo. Polian needed a team that was like the Cowboys and now he had his Triplets. Manning, Harrison and James.

The Colts now had no trouble lighting up the scoreboard, and they didn't need Peyton to do everything. Life was good. But they still couldn't play defense. As the years went on, the Colts were winning more games with scores like 35-34 than 14-10. If Peyton was going to win the Super Bowl, he was going to have to do it himself. That's why it's incredibly ironic that the one Super Bowl run the Colts went on under Manning is filled with nothing but defensive highlights. The one exception is the Patriots game, where Manning had so much to prove that with a broken thumb he thrust the monkey off his back and repeatedly stabbed its corpse until everyone in the room was looking at him like he was crazy. All the other games he played like a game manager or worse, Tony Romo. He wasn't even the best player in Super Bowl XLI (should have been Rex Grossman) but got it on name recognition alone.

As a Super Bowl champion, Peyton should have been able to get whatever he wanted. But he didn't. Why? This is where the reasoning behind things becomes incredibly unclear. See, Bill Polian had been to the Super Bowl four times at Buffalo and got swept. All he wanted was one night in the spotlight, and in February 2007 down in rainy Miami, he got it. He turned over the reins to his son Chris and began his nepotistic ride into the sunset. But just because your dad sends five teams to the Super Bowl doesn't mean you're gonna be a good NFL GM. Chris was responsible for trading a 1st rounder to get Tony Ugoh. He was responsible for drafting Donald Brown when the team had just lost Marvin Harrison for good and Hakeem Nicks was still on the board. Worst of all, he was responsible for Jerry Hughes. After winning the Super Bowl, Peyton should have been given winners to start a dynasty. Instead he was given busts and had to win games by himself. Then... there was the 2009 season.

For Colts fans, 2009 brings out a lot of mixed emotions. I can't begin to fathom how a Patriots fan feels about 2007, but I would go so far as to say 2009 is pretty fucking close to that if not sadder. You see, the Patriots went for immortality and failed. The Colts were denied a shot at immortality by some faggot named Bill Polian who made roster decisions from the god damned skybox. I hate this man and thoroughly enjoy the fact that I get to watch him on ESPN now. Being an ESPN analyst means two things. You failed in the NFL, you retired from the NFL, or both. Good job, Bill. But for Peyton Manning that had to be the straw that broke the camel's back. Here you are, having given a franchise the NFL record for most wins in a decade, for most consecutive wins ever, one Super Bowl championship, 4-time MVP, over 300 touchdowns and your very existence got that city's taxpayers to buy and build a brand new stadium, and your GM (not your coach) benches you and the guys who helped you do all of that stuff for what, so Dwight Freeney can get hurt in garbage time of the AFC Championship and not completely but partially contribute to a Super Bowl loss? Week 16 of 2009 was the day Peyton Manning began to slowly kill the Colts.

His entire life, all Peyton wanted to be was the best. He could die of AIDS sustained from a gay sex addiction five years after being elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame as the only 19-0 Super Bowl winner, with all of Favre and Marino's records under his and be completely happy. But Polian intervened and left him with only being just another 18-1 Super Bowl champion, but at least not an 18-1 loser like Tom Brady. That's what hurt even more for Peyton... that Brady, the guy he is forever linked to, failed to cash in on 19-0 and now he had a shot at it only to get benched... for Curtis Painter. I don't think even Peyton knew how bad Painter was. The Colts lost to Buffalo the following week and now had two losses. Even at 17-2, a Super Bowl win would be a pretty dominant exclamation mark to the season. And a 2-0 record in the Super Bowl with Tom Brady sitting there at 3-1 would just about put him on even footing.

But no, the loyal Colt inside of Peyton died slowly on the sidelines of Lucas Oil Stadium while watching Curtis Painter get strip sacked and seeing the Jets return the fumble for a TD and the lead. The lead Peyton had worked hard to obtain for the Colts, gone in a split second. Because Polian needed his arm in the Super Bowl, only... he wouldn't get it. The Colts offensive playcalling in Super Bowl XLIV was uncharacteristically bad and from about 2002 and on Peyton basically called his own plays from the line. If you think the coaches called those plays, you are high. Peyton threw the game from kickoff. The halftime onside kick was just a convenient wrinkle that helped him hatch his plan. Peyton Manning knew he was an accurate quarterback and could throw a costly interception if he needed to. Down 7 with time running out in the 4th quarter, Peyton Manning saw Reggie Wayne covered by Tracy Porter and threw him anyway. Six the other way, Saints win. There was still time left on the clock, and Manning had to appear to save face. He drove the Colts all the way to the goal line and failed on fourth down, but he drove the field after the interception. Even in the Super Bowl he could bounce back. Thankfully, Tracy Porter was high on himself after the pick and said he had been spying studying film of the Colts and knew that play. Okay, so Peyton just got outsmarted. Doesn't happen often but definitely a possibility. Legacy tarnish averted.

You see, the Saints never got Archie Manning any help. But Archie's son did. His favorite team now had a Super Bowl win. Like any Super Bowl loser, the Colts would scramble to figure out why. Players were scapegoated and cut. For some reason Polian targeted the offensive line. The 2010 season started and the Colts go down to Houston for Week 1 with a piss poor starting five protecting Peyton. He almost doesn't get up off the turf after one big hit. I like to think that while he was down, something like this occurred:

ITV0oLu5mqA

He had received his vision that he needed to get out of Indy. Even before the big hit in Houston, there were rumors about Peyton's neck being hurt. Of course no one believed them because he was still posting 4,000 yard 33 TD seasons, but they ended up being true. The talent was no longer there in Indy, and if he wanted to achieve his dream of being the best QB ever, he'd have to go to another team. But Peyton could not look like the bad guy. What point is there in being the best QB of all time if you're also tagged as the guy who shat on his franchise? He had to deflect the blame on someone else. Meanwhile, Jim Irsay became bored with being a billionaire and became Batman discovered Twitter. . . .

It was the perfect set-up. "My rich owner can't get off Twitter, this is just what I need!" As the NFL season went on and the Colts and Manning struggled, Andrew Luck was lighting it up at Stanford in the NCAA. Everyone thought he was going to be the No. 1 pick. Luck and Manning's fathers played together in the NFL, so Peyton and Andrew were friends. Peyton convinced Luck to stay in school for the following year to help save face. Peyton would gift the Colts with a quarterback worthy of taking over for him, sending the franchise into the toilet for a few seasons while he went somewhere else to win Super Bowls and possibly get another shot at 19-0. Now all Peyton had to do was find a way to make the Colts the worst team in the NFL. In the offseason following the 2010 season, Peyton had surgery on his neck. The Colts played 2011 without him, whilst he rehabbed and pleaded to play late in the season even though he knew they wouldn't let him. The previous regime was all axed because of the team's failures and the only two major figures left were Irsay and Manning.

Although he didn't want to, Peyton feuded with Irsay in the local and national press, especially during Super Bowl week, to make it look like Indy was a hostile environment for him and not a good place to be during recovery. Peyton had to get out of Indy without pissing off the fans. The Colts had Luck on the way, new front office staff, new coaches. . . Manning was the elephant in the room and was forced out by Irsay. He would be the martyr in Indianapolis. I loved Peyton Manning when he was a Colt and had a lot of fun watching him, but he bailed on Indy when we needed him the most. Eff Peyton Manning.

POTY:lmao

[vander]

...

so glad you could take time out of your day to visit the NFL forum, but I think because of it you're now falling behind on your aggie insults in the college forum, better get back to it.

also: week 6, Oct 15, MNF on ESPN, enjoy :toast

[vander]

on the other hand, JT should be thankful his team got Manning. there was another team that needed a QB in 1998, this team drafted right after Indianapolis...


also, Nepotism and incompetence are almost the norm in football front offices.

[J.T.]

on the other hand, JT should be thankful his team got Manning. there was another team that needed a QB in 1998, this team drafted right after Indianapolis...


also, Nepotism and incompetence are almost the norm in football front offices.

What can I say? Lose more games the next time the GOAT is #1 on the draft board.

[symple19]

awesome

[Blake]

This theory goes way deeper than Indianapolis son...... Eff Peyton Manning.

this essay should go to bleacher report, imo

[Blake]

so glad you could take time out of your day to visit the NFL forum, but I think because of it you're now falling behind on your aggie insults in the college forum, better get back to it.

also: week 6, Oct 15, MNF on ESPN, enjoy :toast


Oh, so it was just another dumb vander post. I should have known.

[J.T.]

this essay should go to bleacher report, imo

If the NFL and ESPN could let me into the film archives I could turn this into a 30 for 30 movie in like two days. The hardest thing would be deciding who I should get to narrate it.

[symple19]

If the NFL and ESPN could let me into the film archives I could turn this into a 30 for 30 movie in like two days. The hardest thing would be deciding who I should get to narrate it.

Morgan Freeman or, of course, Darth Vader...aka James Earl Jones

[vander]

...

lol Blake still not done with his little tantrum

[Blake]

lol Blake still not done with his little tantrum


Oh, so it was just another dumb vander post. I should have known.

[vander]

...

:lol

I'm sorry I didn't catch that Blake, could you repeat yourself?

[dirk4mvp]

If the NFL and ESPN could let me into the film archives I could turn this into a 30 for 30 movie in like two days. The hardest thing would be deciding who I should get to narrate it.


I'd do it for the price of whatever JT was on when he wrote this.

[symple19]

I'd do it for the price of whatever JT was on when he wrote this.

:lmao

[J.T.]

Good one dirk4mvp, but I didn't take any drugs today. And yall know my track record with drugs so why would I try to live down being high

[J.T.]

Revised it and posted it here, had to remove "faggot" from the article because people there are apparently major butthurt homophobes, but also SpursTalk is the greatest website in the world for not censoring my freedom of expression so I guess I just gotta get used to writing for other sites. New version is a lot more professional. Ladies and gentlemen I give you The E! True Hollywood Story of the Peyton Manning Era (http://www.stampedeblue.com/2012/9/12/3323744/the-e-true-hollywood-story-of-the-peyton-manning-era)

[DeadlyDynasty]

Revised it and posted it here, had to remove "faggot" from the article because people there are apparently major butthurt homophobes, but also SpursTalk is the greatest website in the world for not censoring my freedom of expression so I guess I just gotta get used to writing for other sites. New version is a lot more professional. Ladies and gentlemen I give you The E! True Hollywood Story of the Peyton Manning Era (http://www.stampedeblue.com/2012/9/12/3323744/the-e-true-hollywood-story-of-the-peyton-manning-era)
wow, that Eddie Dean guy is a faggot.

[Blake]

Wait. Hold on. This is a BLOG?? Huh. I must have been confused because from what I read I thought this was a transcript of “A day in the life of a thirteen year old on his xbox.” You all need to grow up and realize that though this is a blog, it’s a community blog, and even more specific than that, it’s a sports community blog and there’s no place for that kind of homophobic rant that has nothing to do with football or the Colts or their organization. And exactly because it’s a community blog, I have the ability to voice my displeasure with the author of this post. Shit like that gets people banned on other SB Nation forums, so next time you think you’re super clever and snarky, you might want to grow a pair and make a solid attempt to civilize the conversation.

[Blake]

:lol

I'm sorry I didn't catch that Blake, could you repeat yourself?


lol Blake still not done with his little tantrum


so glad you could take time out of your day to visit the NFL forum, but I think because of it you're now falling behind on your aggie insults in the college forum, better get back to it.

also: week 6, Oct 15, MNF on ESPN, enjoy :toast


Oh, so it was just another dumb vander post. I should have known.

[J.T.]

wow, that Eddie Dean guy is a faggot.

For sure, but sometimes we forget how awesome ST is because Kori is the best forum admin in the world and doesn't give a shit about profanity and freedom of expression. I know they cracked down on some things a while back but SpursTalk is still the best sports forum in the world.

When Blake said that it should go on Bleacher Report, I copy/pasted it straight to Stampede Blue because I've posted there for years and I thought for the most part they'd dig it. Then that Eddie Dean faggot got all butthurt so I started revising it. I actually gotta thank the guy (I mean I'm not gonna actually thank him but you know) cuz the current version on there is really cleaned up and formatted well, much better than the one here. But you guys got the original version. Think of this one as the theatrical version and that one as the Special Edition, to use another Star Wars reference.

Had a lot of fun writing this though, glad you guys enjoyed it and gave me positive feedback.

[J.T.]

Wait. Hold on. This is a BLOG?? Huh. I must have been confused because from what I read I thought this was a transcript of “A day in the life of a thirteen year old on his xbox.” You all need to grow up and realize that though this is a blog, it’s a community blog, and even more specific than that, it’s a sports community blog and there’s no place for that kind of homophobic rant that has nothing to do with football or the Colts or their organization. And exactly because it’s a community blog, I have the ability to voice my displeasure with the author of this post. Shit like that gets people banned on other SB Nation forums, so next time you think you’re super clever and snarky, you might want to grow a pair and make a solid attempt to civilize the conversation.

Dude definitely wasn't kidding about stopping after he read "faggot." I imagine someone very much like Cry Havoc is the man person behind "EddieDean".

[JoeTait75]

If the NFL and ESPN could let me into the film archives I could turn this into a 30 for 30 movie in like two days. The hardest thing would be deciding who I should get to narrate it.

I'd vote for John Cougar Mellencamp.

[Blake]

Had a lot of fun writing this though, glad you guys enjoyed it and gave me positive feedback.

Good stuff.

Fwiw, The 30/30 version should include how Archie also coddled Eli by stiff arming the Chargers which allowed him to go to NY.

if you want to include the part where Vince Young tried to off himself, I think it would fit just fine.

[DUNCANownsKOBE]

Blake, we could also direct a 30/30 special about the coddling epidemic at UT-Austin.

[Blake]

Blake, we could also direct a 30/30 special about the coddling epidemic at UT-Austin.

Epicness, imo. Might not be able to air on ESPN or the LHN though.

...” In 1951, the browntirdfaggot family welcomed their new son Mack into the coddling world.”

[DUNCANownsKOBE]

"From that point on, Mack Brownturdfaggit was groomed to be a world class coddler. His dad was that overbearing parent who made sure the pop warner coach got his son proper playing time. His dad also taught him not to worry about school because stuff like IQ tests didn't matter in life."

[J.T.]

I'd vote for John Cougar Mellencamp.

Good call. I went to Indianapolis in 2007 to see the Colts hang their SB banner he definitely performed "Small Town" before the game. Would have preferred Jack & Diane but I get the song selection.

I was going to suggest Christian Bale doing the Batman voice though

[Blake]

"From that point on, Mack Brownturdfaggit was groomed to be a world class coddler. His dad was that overbearing parent who made sure the pop warner coach got his son proper playing time. His dad also taught him not to worry about school because stuff like IQ tests didn't matter in life."


Dominique Wheeler ultimately decided to go with the Red Raiders, but their competitors tried just about everything to make an impression.

“This year, (Texas coach) Mack Brown sent me a Valentine’s Day card,” Wheeler told Sporting News. “I can tell you that I never expected a Valentine’s Day card from Mack Brown.”

http://aol.sportingnews.com/ncaa-football/feed/2011-05/cfb-recruiting-2012/story/sn125-wr-wheeler-could-be-tubervilles-top-recruit-in-his-texas-tech-tenure

Wheeler actually has a chance to make it in the nfl now.

[vander]

JT did you read whitlock's column, or see the MNF game?


Berating the refs and talking about the refs were convenient excuses for Fox and ESPN “MNF” analyst Jon Gruden to avoid the elephant in the room. Manning can't throw the ball accurately or with zip more than 20 yards. Manning is toast. Every time he tried to challenge the middle of the field, the Falcons intercepted his weak pass.

Denver scrapped its game plan after the first quarter. Manning threw sideways the rest of the night. Denver was reduced to dinking and dunking. This was painfully obvious. It was embarrassing listening to Gruden avoid the topic and continue to sing the praises of Manning as he handed the ball to Willis McGahee and threw 8-yard outs to Brandon Stokley.

I get that Manning is ratings gold for TV networks, but Gruden took a dump on his own credibility shilling for Manning in such an obvious manner. Manning used to make the opposition defend the entire field. That’s over. He can’t take the top off a defense. On numerous first and second downs, the Falcons walked their safeties up and begged Manning to throw deep. He never even tried. When he threw a few skinny post routes, the passes lacked the customary zip. They got there at about the same time as the safety or corner, who blew up the receiver or defensed the pass.

[J.T.]

Saw the game, but didn't read the column. I mostly read Peter King, Mike Silver and Bill Simmons. But yeah, like I was bringing up another thread, the issue with Peyton's injury was never really dealing with his neck. I'm not a doctor or even remotely educated on the topic outside of psychopharmacology but from what I understood about it, he kept having to have operations on his neck because the disc in his neck was putting too much pressure on the nerve, to the point where it wouldn't fully regenerate. What this means basically is that he wouldn't have his previous arm strength, which would ultimately result in what Whitlock describes there in that excerpt.

Manning is also still doing rehab on his arm, so it could become less of an issue after more physical therapy (game reps) but yeah, that was always the major concern with Peyton, not that he couldn't take a blindside hit anymore. Thing is, I think Peyton, even with this kind of physical limitation, is better than most QBs because of his intelligence when it comes to reading a defense. I think if everything unravels and he clearly can't throw deep and it's hurting the team, he'll retire after this year. Hope he doesn't but I think he respects football enough to go out there and play knowing he can't do everything needed to win anymore.

[dirk4mvp]

Obviously he's still got some rust, but his 3 interceptions were with receiver windows so small, it was more of poor choices than poor throws. His ball had plenty of zip of them in the 2nd half.

[J.T.]

Obviously he's still got some rust, but his 3 interceptions were with receiver windows so small, it was more of poor choices than poor throws. His ball had plenty of zip of them in the 2nd half.

Why hello scrosef, while i got u here what did you think of young Andrew Cluck this past weekend

[dirk4mvp]

His game winning drive was 10x better than anything monkeyball in DC has done so far.

Also he's somehow even goofier than Eli.


Also also stop picking modern pop hits in songpop.

[J.T.]

Also also stop picking modern pop hits in songpop.

Ha just wait until I have enough coins for the glee playlist

This is semi inspired by something I read from Bill Simmons but Andrew Luck definitely looks and sounds like Andre the Giant's son

[dirk4mvp]

Where are these playlist choices?