For my next piece. . .

[J.T.]

So the Peyton conspiracy theory got rave reviews from pretty much anyone I showed it to and I've been thinking of doing another. This one is going to revolve around Dan Marino's mysterious "retirement" from the NFL whilst being No. 1 on the list with 420 touchdown passes (at the time). Was Dan Marino secretly a major pothead? Or was it Jimmy Johnson (who forced Dan into retirement)? Had Dan got his way and stayed healthy with the Dolphins, could he have held up until 2002 when Ricky Williams came to Miami and ended this fairytale with both of them hoisting the Lombardi trophy, then smoking a replica trophy made out of weed in the locker room?

You guys think this is a good idea? I'm not Dolphinfan so I'd have to research this one a bit (I pulled the Peyton one straight from my brain without doing any research whatsoever) but I think it could be comparatively good.

[Ryan Fitzpatrick]

Biggest asshole athlete I've ever met (twice). He was also a cokehead coming out of college at Pitt, so Miami had some hesitations. How early-80's Miami + Dan Marino didn't become a nightmare is one of the great mysteries of our time. Maybe the coke was responsible for his rocket arm and quick release. Who knows, tbh

[Ryan Fitzpatrick]

Also, Wannstedt told Marino he'd have to fight for his job with Jay Fiedler in 2000, which understandably pissed him off. He considered teaming up with Randy Moss in Minny, but ultimately chose to retire.

His last ever game was the 62-7 annihilation at Jacksonville:lol

[J.T.]

Biggest asshole athlete I've ever met (twice). He was also a cokehead coming out of college at Pitt, so Miami had some hesitations. How early-80's Miami + Dan Marino didn't become a nightmare is one of the great mysteries of our time. Maybe the coke was responsible for his rocket arm and quick release. Who knows, tbh

Inspirational stuff, tbh. This could be as good as the Peyton one with the right angles and my uncanny ability to write an article that looks like journalism but reads like SpursTalk trolling.

[JoeTait75]

Biggest asshole athlete I've ever met (twice). He was also a cokehead coming out of college at Pitt, so Miami had some hesitations. How early-80's Miami + Dan Marino didn't become a nightmare is one of the great mysteries of our time. Maybe the coke was responsible for his rocket arm and quick release. Who knows, tbh

Was he really an out-and-out cokehead or did he just party from time to time? I read an interview with Art Rooney Jr. of the Steelers (who famously passed on Marino for Gabe Rivera) and he essentially said Marino's reputation at Pitt was a little bit unfounded.

FWIW, Pittsburgh didn't pass on Marino because of any drug rumors, but because Chuck Noll wanted to duplicate what he did w/Mean Joe Greene and begin rebuilding along the DL.

[Ryan Fitzpatrick]

Was he really an out-and-out cokehead or did he just party from time to time? I read an interview with Art Rooney Jr. of the Steelers (who famously passed on Marino for Gabe Rivera) and he essentially said Marino's reputation at Pitt was a little bit unfounded.

FWIW, Pittsburgh didn't pass on Marino because of any drug rumors, but because Chuck Noll wanted to duplicate what he did w/Mean Joe Greene and begin rebuilding along the DL.
Growing up in Miami (and later living a couple years in Pitt), the consensus opinion I heard was that he was a big fan of the white lady. How big? I have no idea--it was the 80's though--so maybe what was normal (cocaine use was rampant then) for that era just looks bad in hindsight.

[Blake]

Maybe the coke was responsible for his rocket arm and quick release. Who knows, tbh

:lmao

[JoeTait75]

Growing up in Miami (and later living a couple years in Pitt), the consensus opinion I heard was that he was a big fan of the white lady. How big? I have no idea--it was the 80's though--so maybe what was normal (cocaine use was rampant then) for that era just looks bad in hindsight.

Could explain why he could only afford to buy Isotoner gloves for his linemen.

[J.T.]

Sounds like you guys (at least Fitz and Joe so far) have some good information to contribute to this piece, like assumptions about Marino's coke problem and what not. I grew up rooting for Marino with my dad, but I'm not a Dolphins fan like he is. And I wouldn't say my NFL fanhood really took off until like 2000-2001 when I went to Indianapolis and got to tour the RCA Dome and shit. Before then it was mostly just watching Dolphins games on TV with dad and not really caring what happened as long as Marino threw touchdowns (which is kind of funny because now that's exactly how I feel about Peyton, the games I want to see the QB do well AND win now are being played by Luck). But I know nothing about the politics of the Dolphins locker room and front office back then, I'll have to talk to a lot of people to get this one going. I don't think this is shit that can just be googled, nor would I want to use google as a crutch to do this.

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

You're on the right track with the number, but for the wrong reason. 4/20 is not just a day for Cheech and Chonging it up, it's also the birthday of one Adolph Hitler. Dan Marino is a Nazi. Did he pick up a football out of some natural affinity for the game? Or did a young Dan Marino take up the "pigskin" thinking it was a literal term and that observant Jews would be prohibited from playing the game?

I've heard that final years despite the fact that a more balanced attack would have helped the Dolphins win more games, Marino was adamant about continuing his pass heavy ways. Was this so that he could get into the record books? Or was it so that he could retire with a fitting numerical memorial to The Fuhrer? Or perhaps that handing the ball off to a running back did not afford him the opportunity to salute his beloved leader?

http://cf.mp-cdn.net/00/84/59a165780ce3c0c893813fddd4fd.jpg
SIEG HEIL!

Were his postseason struggles the result of a man who led so many memorable comeback with a sudden and highly selective choker streak? Or the carefully calculated actions of a man secure in his own legacy who wanted to ensure that Jewish coach Don Schula and the ever growing old Jewish population of Miami would never get a Superbowl win? Were they in fact the sort of maddening unperformances that might make elderly sorts so mad as to risk heart attacks?

Why else would such a promising acting career have faltered so badly after a supporting role in Ace Ventura that generated Oscar buzz? Was it that he wasn't that great of an actor? Or that he just couldn't bring himself to play ball with the Spielbergs of the world? The role of Capt. John Miller in Saving Private Ryan (a tough, battlehardened leader from Pennsylvania with a good heart) was obviously patterned after Marino himself. Hard to imagine that he wasn't the first choice to play the part.

Just a theory...

[Bill_Brasky]

You're on the right track with the number, but for the wrong reason. 4/20 is not just a day for Cheech and Chonging it up, it's also the birthday of one Adolph Hitler. Dan Marino is a Nazi. Did he pick up a football out of some natural affinity for the game? Or did a young Dan Marino take up the "pigskin" thinking it was a literal term and that observant Jews would be prohibited from playing the game?

I've heard that final years despite the fact that a more balanced attack would have helped the Dolphins win more games, Marino was adamant about continuing his pass heavy ways. Was this so that he could get into the record books? Or was it so that he could retire with a fitting numerical memorial to The Fuhrer? Or perhaps that handing the ball off to a running back did not afford him the opportunity to salute his beloved leader?

http://cf.mp-cdn.net/00/84/59a165780ce3c0c893813fddd4fd.jpg
SIEG HEIL!

Were his postseason struggles the result of a man who led so many memorable comeback with a sudden and highly selective choker streak? Or the carefully calculated actions of a man secure in his own legacy who wanted to ensure that Jewish coach Don Schula and the ever growing old Jewish population of Miami would never get a Superbowl win? Were they in fact the sort of maddening unperformances that might make elderly sorts so mad as to risk heart attacks?

Why else would such a promising acting career have faltered so badly after a supporting role in Ace Ventura that generated Oscar buzz? Was it that he wasn't that great of an actor? Or that he just couldn't bring himself to play ball with the Spielbergs of the world? The role of Capt. John Miller in Saving Private Ryan (a tough, battlehardened leader from Pennsylvania with a good heart) was obviously patterned after Marino himself. Hard to imagine that he wasn't the first choice to play the part.

Just a theory...


:lmao

[DontStopBelieving]

You're on the right track with the number, but for the wrong reason. 4/20 is not just a day for Cheech and Chonging it up, it's also the birthday of one Adolph Hitler. Dan Marino is a Nazi. Did he pick up a football out of some natural affinity for the game? Or did a young Dan Marino take up the "pigskin" thinking it was a literal term and that observant Jews would be prohibited from playing the game?

I've heard that final years despite the fact that a more balanced attack would have helped the Dolphins win more games, Marino was adamant about continuing his pass heavy ways. Was this so that he could get into the record books? Or was it so that he could retire with a fitting numerical memorial to The Fuhrer? Or perhaps that handing the ball off to a running back did not afford him the opportunity to salute his beloved leader?

http://cf.mp-cdn.net/00/84/59a165780ce3c0c893813fddd4fd.jpg
SIEG HEIL!

Were his postseason struggles the result of a man who led so many memorable comeback with a sudden and highly selective choker streak? Or the carefully calculated actions of a man secure in his own legacy who wanted to ensure that Jewish coach Don Schula and the ever growing old Jewish population of Miami would never get a Superbowl win? Were they in fact the sort of maddening unperformances that might make elderly sorts so mad as to risk heart attacks?

Why else would such a promising acting career have faltered so badly after a supporting role in Ace Ventura that generated Oscar buzz? Was it that he wasn't that great of an actor? Or that he just couldn't bring himself to play ball with the Spielbergs of the world? The role of Capt. John Miller in Saving Private Ryan (a tough, battlehardened leader from Pennsylvania with a good heart) was obviously patterned after Marino himself. Hard to imagine that he wasn't the first choice to play the part.

Just a theory...

Lol

[Pelicans78]

You're on the right track with the number, but for the wrong reason. 4/20 is not just a day for Cheech and Chonging it up, it's also the birthday of one Adolph Hitler. Dan Marino is a Nazi. Did he pick up a football out of some natural affinity for the game? Or did a young Dan Marino take up the "pigskin" thinking it was a literal term and that observant Jews would be prohibited from playing the game?

I've heard that final years despite the fact that a more balanced attack would have helped the Dolphins win more games, Marino was adamant about continuing his pass heavy ways. Was this so that he could get into the record books? Or was it so that he could retire with a fitting numerical memorial to The Fuhrer? Or perhaps that handing the ball off to a running back did not afford him the opportunity to salute his beloved leader?

http://cf.mp-cdn.net/00/84/59a165780ce3c0c893813fddd4fd.jpg
SIEG HEIL!

Were his postseason struggles the result of a man who led so many memorable comeback with a sudden and highly selective choker streak? Or the carefully calculated actions of a man secure in his own legacy who wanted to ensure that Jewish coach Don Schula and the ever growing old Jewish population of Miami would never get a Superbowl win? Were they in fact the sort of maddening unperformances that might make elderly sorts so mad as to risk heart attacks?

Why else would such a promising acting career have faltered so badly after a supporting role in Ace Ventura that generated Oscar buzz? Was it that he wasn't that great of an actor? Or that he just couldn't bring himself to play ball with the Spielbergs of the world? The role of Capt. John Miller in Saving Private Ryan (a tough, battlehardened leader from Pennsylvania with a good heart) was obviously patterned after Marino himself. Hard to imagine that he wasn't the first choice to play the part.

Just a theory...

:lol

[TE]

You're on the right track with the number, but for the wrong reason. 4/20 is not just a day for Cheech and Chonging it up, it's also the birthday of one Adolph Hitler. Dan Marino is a Nazi. Did he pick up a football out of some natural affinity for the game? Or did a young Dan Marino take up the "pigskin" thinking it was a literal term and that observant Jews would be prohibited from playing the game?

I've heard that final years despite the fact that a more balanced attack would have helped the Dolphins win more games, Marino was adamant about continuing his pass heavy ways. Was this so that he could get into the record books? Or was it so that he could retire with a fitting numerical memorial to The Fuhrer? Or perhaps that handing the ball off to a running back did not afford him the opportunity to salute his beloved leader?

http://cf.mp-cdn.net/00/84/59a165780ce3c0c893813fddd4fd.jpg
SIEG HEIL!

Were his postseason struggles the result of a man who led so many memorable comeback with a sudden and highly selective choker streak? Or the carefully calculated actions of a man secure in his own legacy who wanted to ensure that Jewish coach Don Schula and the ever growing old Jewish population of Miami would never get a Superbowl win? Were they in fact the sort of maddening unperformances that might make elderly sorts so mad as to risk heart attacks?

Why else would such a promising acting career have faltered so badly after a supporting role in Ace Ventura that generated Oscar buzz? Was it that he wasn't that great of an actor? Or that he just couldn't bring himself to play ball with the Spielbergs of the world? The role of Capt. John Miller in Saving Private Ryan (a tough, battlehardened leader from Pennsylvania with a good heart) was obviously patterned after Marino himself. Hard to imagine that he wasn't the first choice to play the part.

Just a theory...


:lol awesome

[benefactor]

SFIE rising to the occasion per par.

[LnGrrrR]

Bravo good sir. Bravo.

[symple19]

Well done, SFIE :lol