lol Secession

[TeyshaBlue]

From one of my fav rags: :lol



http://blogs.dallasobserver.com/unfairpark/2012/11/a_few_logistical_questions_bef.php#more


But before we re-sign our lease, we have a few quick logistical questions. If you have questions of your own, leave them in the comments.

1. Will I need a passport to get into America?

2. Will we get our own dollar with Rick Perry holding a uterus on it?

3. What the hell is Matthew McConaughey gonna do?

4. Can my gun now carry a gun?

5. Is not wearing the mandatory Texas flag shirt punishable by death, or just life in prison?

6. Is it going to cost 25,000 frequent flier miles to get to Albuquerque now? Ugh.

7. What about the death penalty? Will we only execute retarded people now?

8. Wait, the Mexicans go with America, right? But El Fenix stays?

9. What will we bomb first once we're done with all the Planned Parentoods?

10. Can countries sue other countries? (Guest question sent in from reader
Greg Abbott)

11. Will Tommy Lee Jones dissolve from existence?

12. Is The Voice going to be subtitled now?

13. Can I drink in church?

14. Will there be legitimate rape?

15. When I retire, how much should I count on getting in Texas Social Security? If not much, can I self-deport to America?

16. Will I die at the Alamo? What if I don't want to die at the Alamo? Can I self-deport to America?

17. Will state troopers wear coonskin caps? Can I self-deport to America?

18. If Texas is its own country, will I have to learn their language?

19. Can I shoot my kids?

20. Will the Texas Bill of Rights have Viagra?

21. Will there be chicken-fried pasta?

22. I'll still get Showtime, right? If not, can this wait until Homeland is over?

23. Will I have to purchase my own transvaginal probe wand, or will one be provided for me?

24. Is Chuck Norris the VP or the Secretary of Defense? If so, does he need interns?

25. Can we force the IRS to give Willie Nelson his money back?

26. Which denomination will be the official national religion, Southern Baptist or Cowboy Church?

27. As women, I obviously don't understand any of this. Will my husbands explain it to me? Can he also re-explain my vagina to me?

28. Will the only TV shows be Walker, Texas Ranger played on a loop in back-to-back episodes with Touched By An Angel and Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman?

29. We might as well have excessive banjos in the national anthem, right?

30. If I Duck tape a truck bed to the back, can I keep my Prius?

31. Oh! Oh! Can I have one of the windmills when you take them all down? I promise it's not for energy. It's for art.

32. No art? Really? Huh.

33. Will we still have to pick up our dogs' shits or can we just shoot the dog shits now?

34. Can we bring back mail guys on horseback? That was cool.

35. We can still drink Coors Light though, right?

36. When I have my period, that's the American terrorists winning, right? When I don't have my period, that's also the American terrorists winning, correct?

37. What about rap

[Drachen]

:lol

[CubanMustGo]

You want to know the sad thing? There's a petition on whitehouse.gov with over 25,000 signatures on it already to do exactly that - allow the state to secede.

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/peacefully-grant-state-texas-withdraw-united-states-america-and-create-its-own-new-government/BmdWCP8B

There are 20+ states with such "sore loser" petitions, but only Rick Perry's Texas has come close to the 25K signatures required to get an official response from the WH.

[TeyshaBlue]

hence the topic.

[Spurminator]

They just love America so much that they don't want to be a part of it anymore.

[symple19]

:lmao, especially the one about the Prius

[TeyshaBlue]

Self Deport!

[coyotes_geek]

:lol

the picture that goes along with it is the best part.

http://blogs.dallasobserver.com/unfairpark/assets_c/2010/04/Nascar020-thumb-250x402.jpg

[Spurminator]

http://magiclampoon.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/Yosemite-Sam.gif

[FuzzyLumpkins]

So when are we going to have the white riots?

[EVAY]

An article I read said that people in 20 different states have filed similar petitions for secession. Similar petitions were filed from a variety of states after the 2004 and 2008 elections as well. I keep hoping that all of the petitioners from all the states that are requesting secession would just all get together in one place and take off on boats. I'd pay more in taxes just to get them gone.

[Wild Cobra]

So when are we going to have the white riots?
Is there such a thing? I always thought riots were a racial thing.

[EVAY]

Is anyone besides me old enough to remember the response to the anti-vietnam war protesters that had Posters and bumper stickers that said "My Country - love it or leave it?"

The people holding those signs are the same people petitioning to secede now.

[FuzzyLumpkins]

Is there such a thing? I always thought riots were a racial thing.

Are you trying to troll me with stupidity? I know how to make Fuzzy mad: I'll just say the stupidest shit I can think up. And it's not haha funny. It's just dumb. Punch yourself in the face please.

[boutons_deux]

"anti-vietnam war protesters that had Posters and bumper stickers that said "My Country - love it or leave it?" "

WTF?

it was the Silent Majority/My Country Right Or Wrong crowd telling the anti-war protesters to "love it or leave it", NOT the other way around.

[EVAY]

"anti-vietnam war protesters that had Posters and bumper stickers that said "My Country - love it or leave it?" "

WTF?

it was the Silent Majority/My Country Right Or Wrong crowd telling the anti-war protesters to "love it or leave it", NOT the other way around.





Isn't that what I said? Too many negatives?

[Wild Cobra]

Are you trying to troll me with stupidity? I know how to make Fuzzy mad: I'll just say the stupidest shit I can think up. And it's not haha funny. It's just dumb. Punch yourself in the face please.
LOL...

My response was because of the stupid things you always come up with, troll.

So when are we going to have the white riots?

[TeyshaBlue]

Isn't that what I said? Too many negatives?

lol. Didn't register with the bot narrative filter.

[coyotes_geek]

An article I read said that people in 20 different states have filed similar petitions for secession. Similar petitions were filed from a variety of states after the 2004 and 2008 elections as well. I keep hoping that all of the petitioners from all the states that are requesting secession would just all get together in one place and take off on boats. I'd pay more in taxes just to get them gone.

I've got it. They can have Guantanemo Bay. Secessionists have until December 31, 2013 to move to Gitmo and will receive a 100% refund on income and payroll taxes they paid during the term they were forced to suffer under Obama's presidency. Payment to be made upon proof of Gitmo residency. On January 1, 2014, the U.S. military leaves, leaving the secessionists to enjoy their tropical paradise, free from Obama socialistic opression.

Granted interest in this program may lead to overcrowding at Gitmo, but we can just let the USOFA, that's United State of Obama-Free America, take that up with the Cubans in whatever manner they deem appropriate.

[TeyshaBlue]

You could do worse than Cuba, tbh.

[EVAY]

I've got it. They can have Guantanemo Bay. Secessionists have until December 31, 2013 to move to Gitmo and will receive a 100% refund on income and payroll taxes they paid during the term they were forced to suffer under Obama's presidency. Payment to be made upon proof of Gitmo residency. On January 1, 2014, the U.S. military leaves, leaving the secessionists to enjoy their tropical paradise, free from Obama socialistic opression.

Granted interest in this program may lead to overcrowding at Gitmo, but we can just let the USOFA, that's United State of Obama-Free America, take that up with the Cubans in whatever manner they deem appropriate.

Perfect!! Let's make it happen!!

[mavs>spurs]

Texas is gonna SECEDE, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!

[z0sa]

Pssst... secession is illegal. Lol

[boutons_deux]

"anti-vietnam war protesters"

anti-vietnam-war protesters. prostesters against the vietnam war.

[mavs>spurs]

u think anyone gives a fuck you coward

[pass1st]

Just let them secede, see how it works out for them.

[Blake]

Will the Texas schools have to form their own football conference again? A&M forced to play on the Longhorn Network?

That would make it all worth it, imo.

[SnakeBoy]

Texas is gonna SECEDE, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!

because .1 percent of the population wants to...sure thing.

[Trill Clinton]

smh..white people.

[DUNCANownsKOBE]

Will the Texas schools have to form their own football conference again? A&M forced to play on the Longhorn Network?

That would make it all worth it, imo.

That's actually something that comes to mind with me. What the fuck would happen to the universities in Texas if it does secede?

[Creepn]

Just get the fuck out. Mav<Spurs, just get the fuck out you America hating traitor sonavabitch cocksucker. Please live in Afghanistan so we can drone your ass up.

[Creepn]

I take back the drone comment. I don't wish death on anybody.

[Trainwreck2100]

yeah lets say texas seceeds how exactly do we defend ourselves when the gov. pulls out of their bases

[ElNono]

That's actually something that comes to mind with me. What the fuck would happen to the universities in Texas if it does secede?

lol utsa

[Wild Cobra]

So when are we going to have the white riots?
Fizzy...

When was the last "White Riot" in the USA?

[djohn2oo8]

Obama should read the names on the petition on live tv.

[DUNCANownsKOBE]

In all honestly I'd like to keep Texas around. It has some major cities that contribute a lot to the economy and it's a very important part of our country. Arkansas, Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina, and West Virginia are the states I would love to see secede from the union. They're all states that receive more in federal subsidies than they pay in taxes (so the notion that they'd do better without the federal government is totally ridiculous but lets let them to starve to death on their own), and none of them contribute anything to society other than SEC football games. West Virginia's geographic location really screws all of those states seceding into one confederacy up, but I think we can make it work. Tennessee and Kentucky are probably the next 2 states I wouldn't mind seceding after those I already mentioned. Those states being gone is all the spending cuts on entitlement programs we need since those states take advantage of entitlement programs more than any other states.

I'd add Arizona to that list except I was born and raised here so I have tons of friends here and wouldn't wanna see them suffer after I leave. Outside of that and Phoenix being a major city, Arizona is a pretty worthless backwater state that has tons of rednecks who complain about subsidizing minorities when the government needs to provide them with a pot to piss in.

[Creepn]

Fizzy...

When was the last "White Riot" in the USA?

At Ole Miss. on election day. Crowd chanting "******" and destroyed some property.

[leemajors]

That's actually something that comes to mind with me. What the fuck would happen to the universities in Texas if it does secede?

Or all the tech companies around Austin. Could be a nice tax shelter :lol

[RandomGuy]

So when are we going to have the white riots?

The talk radio guys on am 1490 said that might be necessary. They came rather close to encouraging it, but oooh so carefully skirted it.

[RandomGuy]

yeah lets say texas seceeds how exactly do we defend ourselves when the gov. pulls out of their bases

Taxes would go up instantly, because Texas is a net recipient of all sorts of things. University funding, currency printing, diplomacy, etc, etc etc.

New customs agency
new treasury department
new embassies
new currency (oh that will be fun to see if they get a gold standard... WHOOT)
accounting standards
federal laws concerning just about everything from food inspection to pollution, to gas mileage
banking regulation

A huge amount of shit needed for a modern economy would have to be cut from whole cloth, even if it was peaceful and successfully done.

[TeyshaBlue]

fuck me. I post a joke about secession, and peeps start seriously discussing it.:depressed

[DUNCANownsKOBE]

At Ole Miss. on election day.

:lol Wild Cobra set himself up for det one

[DarrinS]

At Ole Miss. on election day. Crowd chanting "******" and destroyed some property.

Ole Miss election day riot is to LA riots as fart is to hurricane.

[EVAY]

fuck me. I post a joke about secession, and peeps start seriously discussing it.:depressed

:lol Man, I know it. I just clicked on to see some good jokes and found all this stuff. Too funny! Really better than the jokes!

[coyotes_geek]

Will the Texas schools have to form their own football conference again? A&M forced to play on the Longhorn Network?

That would make it all worth it, imo.

According to butthurt big12 fans, A&M left the state when they joined the SEC, so no, they would not be forced to play on the LHN. Whether the remaining Texas schools would have to form their own conference and play on the LHN would be up to King Rick Perry the 1st.

[Blake]

Seems to me aggy would be ok with calling it SEC A&M just to further distance themselves from all things Austin.

[coyotes_geek]

:tu

[RandomGuy]

At Ole Miss. on election day. Crowd chanting "******" and destroyed some property.


I'm sure that was all taken out of context.

http://c0.nrostatic.com/uploaded/pic_giant_111212_E.jpg

I guess the context and definition of "riot" is sort of up for grabs with apologists:

http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/333140/mississippi-yearning-ole-miss-race-riots-lee-habeeb#

And proponents:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/07/university-mississippi-students-riot-obama-election_n_2088176.html


This is something where the truth is probably somewhere in between. Not quite a full out "burn everything" riot, but certainly not a simple peaceful demonstration either.

[RandomGuy]

fuck me. I post a joke about secession, and peeps start seriously discussing it.:depressed

It is being seriously discussed here and there, sadly.

[FuzzyLumpkins]

If there is no destruction of property then it's not a riot. Burning shit like that stinks of Klan.

[Drachen]

Fizzy...

When was the last "White Riot" in the USA?

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRlXvps-ulEh7dKyzcV7Xmp-sQysyepJQz_M7fD6mpf8zc9Fe49

[Wild Cobra]

At Ole Miss. on election day. Crowd chanting "******" and destroyed some property.
You want to call that protest, a riot?

[BradLohaus]

Texas will be 60% Hispanic and 25% white by 2040. If you want to leave the US then just skip REPofTEX middle man and tell Perry to call Mexico City.

[Creepn]

You want to call that protest, a riot?

Protests are peaceful and legal. Riots are when laws are being broken.

[Wild Cobra]

Protests are peaceful and legal. Riots are when laws are being broken.
Then why aren't all these peaceful protests called riots, like the occupy movement? Every one of them has involved breaking the law.

Wow... You have a very weak requirement to call something a "riot."

Is it only a riot when you want to say it is?

Here are riots:

P43WZd611WA

HVqvCuOwpZU

[Creepn]

Then why aren't all these peaceful protests called riots, like the occupy movement? Every one of them has involved breaking the law.

Wow... You have a very weak requirement to call something a "riot."

Is it only a riot when you want to say it is?

Here are riots:

P43WZd611WA

HVqvCuOwpZU

From what I gathered from the occupy movement, it was pretty peaceful. I don't recall destruction of properties and burnings during the time. If there was, I'd call it a riot as well.

[Wild Cobra]

From what I gathered from the occupy movement, it was pretty peaceful. I don't recall destruction of properties and burnings during the time. If there was, I'd call it a riot as well.
And there were two people arrested at Ol Miss for minor charges, right?

Where's the looting, Molotov cocktail, violence, etc?

[Wild Cobra]

Two people have been killed and at least 75 injured in rioting at the University of Mississippi campus in Oxford.

link: Ol Miss Riot (http://news.bbc.co.uk/onthisday/hi/dates/stories/october/1/newsid_2538000/2538169.stm)

[Creepn]

And there were two people arrested at Ol Miss for minor charges, right?

Where's the looting, Molotov cocktail, violence, etc?

So there were arrests for illegal activities that the police managed to catch. Chanting offensive slurs in disturbance of public peace is illegal. That is enough for me to classify it as a riot, albeit small but the same.

[Wild Cobra]

So there were arrests for illegal activities that the police managed to catch. Chanting offensive slurs in disturbance of public peace is illegal. That is enough for me to classify it as a riot, albeit small but the same.
Again, you have a weak definition of Riot.

I will suggest the media wanted to turn it into a 50 year thing, and you fell for it.

[Creepn]

Again, you have a weak definition of Riot.

I will suggest the media wanted to turn it into a 50 year thing, and you fell for it.

Well, thanks for agreeing with me that it was a riot all the same anyway. I'm out.

[clambake]

what do you mean "50 year thing"

[Drachen]

LOL Awesome! Click here (https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/strip-citizenship-everyone-who-signed-petition-secede-and-exile-them/ZbMjcwPf)

back and forth is fun.

[Creepn]

Signed.

[ChumpDumper]

http://i1239.photobucket.com/albums/ff513/CharlieHBryan/Secdee.jpg
lol Austin

[SnakeBoy]

http://i1239.photobucket.com/albums/ff513/CharlieHBryan/Secdee.jpg
lol Austin

I wonder how much the 3 dumbasses paid the black kid to hold the exclamation point.

[Wild Cobra]

From what I gathered from the occupy movement, it was pretty peaceful. I don't recall destruction of properties and burnings during the time. If there was, I'd call it a riot as well.
Then call it a riot. Illegal shit happened all over the place. Remember, the Mainscream Mesia was on their side.

[Wild Cobra]

what do you mean "50 year thing"
The 'Ol Miss riot I posted via YouTube was in 1962.

[boutons_deux]

Promoting secession is superfluous proof that red-state right wingers really are dumb as shit.

[DUNCANownsKOBE]

I wonder how much the 3 dumbasses paid the black kid to hold the exclamation point.

:lmao:lmao:lmao

[scott]

We got the sigs, are we the Republic yet?

[Creepn]

The 'Ol Miss riot I posted via YouTube was in 1962.

50 years? There was another riot a couple months ago in Kentucky and several before that in that same town. Flipping cars and shots fired n whatnot.

Riots happen by all races WC and whites are no exceptions. Lol 50 years.

[scott]

Austin petitions White House to allow it to Secede from Texas:

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/peacefully-grant-city-austin-texas-withdraw-state-texas-remain-part-united-states/TDD212hQ

[scott]

Petition to deport anyone who wants to secede from the United States

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/deport-everyone-signed-petition-withdraw-their-state-united-states-america/dmQl1bXL

:lol

[Spurminator]

:lol

[Winehole23]

Texas’ secession from the U.S. won’t come anytime soon.


Or at least, the state Republican Party won’t lead it.


With the spirit of Texas President Sam Houston over the room, state party executives voted Saturday in Austin not to poll March primary voters on declaring Texas independence.


Austin Republican Mike Goldman’s voice rose as he quoted Houston’s opposition to Confederate secession and implored the party’s state committee to avert “brother fighting brother on whether they are a Texan first or an American first.”
http://www.star-telegram.com/opinion/opn-columns-blogs/bud-kennedy/article48266980.html

Read more here: http://www.star-telegram.com/opinion/opn-columns-blogs/bud-kennedy/article48266980.html#storylink=cpy