D-Ho Timeline

[timvp]

Do I got this right . . .

-Becomes a star almost instantly.

-Orlando fan gets worried that he will eventually want to leave like Shaq and everyone else.

-D-Ho tells Orlando that he's different and that is love for God and the city will keep him around.

-Continues to improve, the city of Orlando rallies around him because of his promises.

-Steals Shaq's nickname. Tells Orlando it's just a coincidence.

-Stan Van Gundy builds a team around him that fits flawlessly. All his strengths are magnified while his weaknesses are camouflaged.

-Is so anti-clutch offensively that he get's carried to the Finals by Hed:lol Turk:lolglu of all players.

-The horribleness of his Finals squad wasn't easy to instantly spot due to the horribleness of the eventual champions.

-It turns out the only reason they made the Finals was because the Celtics were dealing with injuries.

-The next year, Celtics bend over the Magic.

-D-Ho suddenly starts talking about the allure of the big market.

-Starts his passive-aggressiveness that sours the city of Orlando and ruins the chemistry of a successful team.

-Loses in the first round to the Hawks because he couldn't exploit single coverage by Jas:loln C:lolllins

-Instead of working to improve his game, he starts really pushing for a trade. Introduces a wishlist that consists of only the Nets.

-Goes to the Magic and asks them to fire Stan Van Gundy, the guy who created the perfect storm around him.

-Denies that he went to the Magic to get Stan Van Gundy fired.

-Stan Van Gundy tells reporters that the Magic told him D-Ho wants him fired.

-Caught in a lie, D-Ho sticks to his story even though it's clearly not true.

-His teammates tired of him, as does his coach, and the Magic begin to suck.

-The Magic tell him they will trade him but not to a team on his wishlist of one.

-Orlando mentions the Lakers as a possibility but he says No because he doesn't want to go down the same path as Shaq even though he stole his nickname.

-D-Ho panics and agrees to stay another year in Orlando.

-A couple days later, wants to undo that decision.

-Turns out to be too late to undo it.

-Suddenly suffers a serious back injury that forces him to miss the rest of the season.

-Sticks to his trade demand while only increasing his wishlist by one or two teams. Still doesn't have Lakers on his wishlist.

-Gets traded to the Lakers for pennies on the dollar.

-Claims that he loves the Lakers and how happy he is.

-Ends up stealing Shaq's nickname and copying his career path.

-Says his back injury is so serious that he can barely walk.

-Magically is ready to play 40 MPG from Day 1 of the regular season.

-Looks perplexed as to how to play basketball when the team isn't constructed to fit his strengths and weaknesses.

-Kobe runs the ship as an alpha dog and D-Ho cowers like a beta.

-Says how much he wished things ended differently with the Magic. Comes close to an apology.

-Magic vs. Lakers gameday.

-The Magic have a scrub team.

-Employ Hack-a-Ho.

-Howard can't shoot free throws or figure out how to defend without a set system around him.

-Magic beat the Lakers, scoring 40 in the final quarter while he repeatedly bricked at the line.

-Howard is so mad he walks off the court without shaking the hands of his ex-teammates.

-Despite having Kobe playing better than he has in years on his team, D-Ho has the Lakers sub-.500.

-D-H:lol





I didn't think it'd be possible for the Lakers to find a more Laker-ish player than Kobe by they succeeded.

[Gutter92]

I think you forgot to include the part where he is nearing Shawn Kemp levels of illegitimate children, tbh...

[Arcadian]

:lmao

Bynum > Howard

2011-12 Lakers > 2012-13 Lakers

Howard = bitch

Howard = will never crack the top 100 players of all time

:lol Howard

:lol Lakers

:lol Bitches

[Juggity]

:lol Bargain bin Shaq.

[Gutter92]

:lol 8-9

:lol "Steve Nash will fix it!!"

[Gutter92]

lol @ Lakers being better with an injured Bynum than with a healthy Dwight :lol

[Gutter92]

:lol @ being a bigger liability than Shaq late in the 4th quarter

[Gutter92]

:lol @ not learning from the 2004 mistake, stacking "superstars" one one team = guaranteed ring :lol

[Gutter92]

:lol @ the Laker fans for the first few weeks after they got Dwight :lol

[AaronY]

He ripped off Shaq again the other day when he dunked then looked at his hand in shock while running down the court like Shaq used to

[Gutter92]

:lol @ the absence of the aforementioned faggots from the forum

[Gutter92]

:lol @ going with pringles over col. sanders on the sideline...

[AaronY]

kQM1TntcAMk

[NRHector]

:lol @ D'Antoni being outcoached by a rookie Coach

[ElNono]

The worst part is that D'Antoni doesn't have the balls to sit him when he's hacked like that and hack-a-ho prevents the Kobester from going hero-mode in the 4th until the last 2 mins. Vaughn just completely exposed that shit.

Obviously, something is going to have to give in. Kobe has to have his hero-mode 4th quarters, so it's either sitting Dwight or firing the coach and bringing one in that will do it.

[NRHector]

The worst part is that D'Antoni doesn't have the balls to sit him when he's hacked like that and hack-a-ho prevents the Kobester from going hero-mode in the 4th until the last 2 mins. Vaughn just completely exposed that shit.

Obviously, something is going to have to give in. Kobe has to have his hero-mode 4th quarters, so it's either sitting Dwight or firing the coach and bringing one in that will do it.

Pop was a great mentor

[Juggity]

He ripped off Shaq again the other day when he dunked then looked at his hand in shock while running down the court like Shaq used to

I guess he's buying into the Kobe theory of idol imitation: "Take everything that they did well and replicate it clumsily"

[baseline bum]

Damn, LJ going HAM on Bible Kemp.

[baseline bum]

The worst part is that D'Antoni doesn't have the balls to sit him when he's hacked like that and hack-a-ho prevents the Kobester from going hero-mode in the 4th until the last 2 mins. Vaughn just completely exposed that shit.

D'Antoni doesn't have anyone to replace him in his 7-man rotation tbh.

[TDMVPDPOY]

heard his trying out to be a clown in some LA circus...

his starting to be like shaq now, should just stfu

[Clipper Nation]

:lol Dwight Coward
:lol Not even the best center in LA

[Splits]

Magic make it personal by beating, embarrassing Howard in upset win

One by one, the Orlando Magic walked over to the Lakers bench, and embraced the amiable big man who left them in August. One by one, they chatted with him and laughed with him and showed how much they missed him. And then, one by one, they said goodbye and good luck to their old friend Earl Clark.

The other amiable big man who went from Orlando to Los Angeles three months ago was already gone, down the tunnel and into the locker room, without so much as a handshake. Dwight Howard fled the court Sunday night, upstaged by the organization he paralyzed and the team he abandoned, in a game that will sting far more than the other eight the Lakers have already lost. The final score, 113-103, might as well hang on the Magic marquee all season.


Read More: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2012/writers/lee_jenkins/12/03/lakers-magic-dwight-howard/index.html#ixzz2DycRPZAP

[midnightpulp]

A very accurate recording of events. :tu

[Leetonidas]

when you put it like that.... :lmao

[BillMc]

Are we really so sure Dwight has the Hall of Fame locked up? I guess all those DPOY will make it certain...

[scanry]

Damn, LJ going HAM on Bible Kemp.

Without any protection whatsoever. Damn. :lol

[JRHernandez88]

Lol D-Ho
Lol George Hill @ the buzzer
Lol Lakers
Lol Laker fans
Lol AA 30
Lol Clippers are better

[AaronY]

http://i1006.photobucket.com/albums/af181/sxdrgsvlnce/Android%20Forums%20stuff/BUMP.jpg

[racm]

:lol Hack-a-Ho
:lol worse than the Dubs

[Kamnik]

Do I got this right . . .

-Becomes a star almost instantly.

-Orlando fan gets worried that he will eventually want to leave like Shaq and everyone else.

-D-Ho tells Orlando that he's different and that is love for God and the city will keep him around.

-Continues to improve, the city of Orlando rallies around him because of his promises.

-Steals Shaq's nickname. Tells Orlando it's just a coincidence.

-Stan Van Gundy builds a team around him that fits flawlessly. All his strengths are magnified while his weaknesses are camouflaged.

-Is so anti-clutch offensively that he get's carried to the Finals by Hed:lol Turk:lolglu of all players.

-The horribleness of his Finals squad wasn't easy to instantly spot due to the horribleness of the eventual champions.

-It turns out the only reason they made the Finals was because the Celtics were dealing with injuries.

-The next year, Celtics bend over the Magic.

-D-Ho suddenly starts talking about the allure of the big market.

-Starts his passive-aggressiveness that sours the city of Orlando and ruins the chemistry of a successful team.

-Loses in the first round to the Hawks because he couldn't exploit single coverage by Jas:loln C:lolllins

-Instead of working to improve his game, he starts really pushing for a trade. Introduces a wishlist that consists of only the Nets.

-Goes to the Magic and asks them to fire Stan Van Gundy, the guy who created the perfect storm around him.

-Denies that he went to the Magic to get Stan Van Gundy fired.

-Stan Van Gundy tells reporters that the Magic told him D-Ho wants him fired.

-Caught in a lie, D-Ho sticks to his story even though it's clearly not true.

-His teammates tired of him, as does his coach, and the Magic begin to suck.

-The Magic tell him they will trade him but not to a team on his wishlist of one.

-Orlando mentions the Lakers as a possibility but he says No because he doesn't want to go down the same path as Shaq even though he stole his nickname.

-D-Ho panics and agrees to stay another year in Orlando.

-A couple days later, wants to undo that decision.

-Turns out to be too late to undo it.

-Suddenly suffers a serious back injury that forces him to miss the rest of the season.

-Sticks to his trade demand while only increasing his wishlist by one or two teams. Still doesn't have Lakers on his wishlist.

-Gets traded to the Lakers for pennies on the dollar.

-Claims that he loves the Lakers and how happy he is.

-Ends up stealing Shaq's nickname and copying his career path.

-Says his back injury is so serious that he can barely walk.

-Magically is ready to play 40 MPG from Day 1 of the regular season.

-Looks perplexed as to how to play basketball when the team isn't constructed to fit his strengths and weaknesses.

-Kobe runs the ship as an alpha dog and D-Ho cowers like a beta.

-Says how much he wished things ended differently with the Magic. Comes close to an apology.

-Magic vs. Lakers gameday.

-The Magic have a scrub team.

-Employ Hack-a-Ho.

-Howard can't shoot free throws or figure out how to defend without a set system around him.

-Magic beat the Lakers, scoring 40 in the final quarter while he repeatedly bricked at the line.

-Howard is so mad he walks off the court without shaking the hands of his ex-teammates.

-Despite having Kobe playing better than he has in years on his team, D-Ho has the Lakers sub-.500.

-D-H:lol





I didn't think it'd be possible for the Lakers to find a more Laker-ish player than Kobe by they succeeded.

This totaly made my day! Thanks man!

[Bill_Brasky]

:lol Bible Kemp
:lol One post move
:lol Gasol settling for jumpers and not playing in the post where 7 footers belong
:lol wasting one of Kobe's better years
:lol Kobe beginning to realize that Dwight is lazy

[whitemamba]

:lol Dwight Coward
:lol Not even the best center in LA


ban

[whitemamba]

This totaly made my day! Thanks man!

maybe u should go blow him as a sign of gratitude :lol

[Drachen]

I am just waiting for his new movie about being a sorcerer who helps a little kid named "Alakazam" and his rap album named "Dwight-Chi"

[Drachen]

Also, I feel like the timeline should include going to a porn star's house where she is "meeting" with an old member of N'sync, then pulling down his pants crying and begging her to take him back.

[resistanze]

He's just so fucking corny. I don't get why people are so suprised Shaq constantly takes shits on him.

[Banzai]

17 Laker related threads.

[Mugen]

You forgot the part where he got cuckolded by det guy from NSYNC over a porn star :lol

http://technorati.com/sports/article/porn-star-mary-carey-says-dwight/

[Mugen]

Also, I feel like the timeline should include going to a porn star's house where she is "meeting" with an old member of N'sync, then pulling down his pants crying and begging her to take him back.

haha damn beat me to it

[baseline bum]

Damn, Mugen... and Mary Carey is ugly as fuck :lol


Nothing, however, quite compares to this story, which involves Howard, porn-star Mary Carey and former 'NSYNC'er Chris Kirkpatrick:

“Dwight’s a cool guy. For a month, we like talked on the phone, and he was always trying to give me prayers to get me out of porn and give me Bible verses to read. So then, I was going to go visit him when I was in Orlando, but I went over to this other guy’s house instead, Chris Kirkpatrick from N’Sync. And then Dwight started calling, and calling, and calling me, because he knew I was with Chris Kirkpatrick, so eventually at 3 in the morning, Chris was like don’t answer Dwight’s calls.

“I get a text from Dwight at 3 in the morning — I’m outside Chris’s house. I’m like oh my god, what do I do? I was like, I got Dwight here and I got Chris in the other room and I’m talking to them back and forth. So finally I had to just pull Dwight in the bathroom and tell him he needs to go home. I was like I’m really sorry, I really like you, but this isn’t the time or place. When I pull him in the bathroom, he pulls his pants down, I was like, whooa. Yeah, and so I ran and started screaming …

“Well if it wasn’t for the Chris thing at the time, I really liked Dwight and maybe I would have furthered this. But I was at the guy’s house I was dating so it was inappropriate. So he totally thought he totally offended me. So I saved — he and I used to talk on instant messenger, on AOL — so he was apologizing; ’sorry, that was out of character for me,’ blah blah blah. I saved all the instant messages and I’ve been putting them all in a book. So I’ve got a lot of evidence. I’ve got an evidence file.”

[TDMVPDPOY]

does dho think his eddy curry, pullin his pants down and tellin ppl to touch it?

[ClipperLuva]

Add another to the timeline, losing to bearded hardon while bean struggled to right the ship. shitty ft shooting and all

[midnightpulp]

Damn, Mugen... and Mary Carey is ugly as fuck :lol

:lol

Dwight was sprung on this beast:

http://images.buddytv.com/btv_2_1216440_1_434_593_0_/mary-carey--attends-.jpg

[Spurs9]

:lol

Dwight was sprung on this beast:

http://images.buddytv.com/btv_2_1216440_1_434_593_0_/mary-carey--attends-.jpg

Looks like a man tbh

[Mugen]

:lol gettin cuckolded by dis nigga

http://www.perfectpeople.net/photo-picture-image-media/Chris-Kirkpatrick-344x400-21kb-media-1212-media-87728-1077654300.jpg

[midnightpulp]

:lol gettin cuckolded by dis nigga

http://www.perfectpeople.net/photo-picture-image-media/Chris-Kirkpatrick-344x400-21kb-media-1212-media-87728-1077654300.jpg

:lmao

[Capt Bringdown]

Howard is Kevin Willis on steroids.
Hall of Famer? fuggetaboutit.

[Arcadian]

We can now add to this timeline: Swept in round 1 by the Spurs, putting out of its misery "the nightmare he just couldn't wake up from." :lol

[AaronY]

Fuck that OP is hilarious..

[Arcadian]

I know, I can't believe no one had bumped it since December...

[Trainwreck2100]

-Loses in the first round to the Hawks because he couldn't exploit single coverage by Jas:loln C:lolllins


:lmao owned by a homosexual :lmao

[AaronY]

Muscular, handsome (no homo), famous, wealthy superstar..couldn't even close the deal with a junkie porno actress..Lol..

[racm]

Muscular, handsome (no homo), famous, wealthy superstar..couldn't even close the deal with a junkie porno actress..Lol..

And he looks like a total doofus at the FT line