Former BestMen, Any Tips?

[OnlyOneGinobili]

My best friend will be getting married on the fifth of august, and I've been chosen to be the best man. First off, I'm nervous as hell... but the only real thing that I'm worrying about is the bestman speech. Is there any words of advice, tips...or anything else that would be useful to me?

Thanks Guys.

[ShoogarBear]

You've seen that ad where the drunk best man gets up and starts talking about all the groom's exes?

Don't do that.

[OnlyOneGinobili]

yeah.. I'll be sure not to drink before my speech, well maybe a beer to atleast calm my nerves.

[3rdCoast]

I was a bestman and I did good(or so i was told).

I did not write a speech in advance.I thought it up as I went along. My speech was about 2 minutes long and made everyone laugh. Keep it real. Simple as that.

[OnlyOneGinobili]

I wanted to make my humurous because thats what most people know me for. Does the speech need a body. An ice breaker... then honoring the families of the bride and groom, and then talk about the bride and groom, then end it?

[OnlyOneGinobili]

any kind of tips, or help.. or maybe even a whole prewritten speech would be f'in great.

[3rdCoast]

Dude, I went up there and basically said that My bro could not have a made a better choice and that all of our families were bad ass. have fun and i love all yall. later.


that was it in a nutshell.

[OnlyOneGinobili]

yeah... but there are gonna be alot of people at this wedding, and the bride and groom have paid alot of money for this thing. And I'm gonna kick off the reception, I want it to be good... I dont want to set the mood to dull.

[Aggie Hoopsfan]

For the toast...

1. Funny opening
2. Serious reflection
3. Congrats

Don't forget the most important part though - bachelor party.

Lots and lots of strippers. Lots and lots of alcohol. Protection.

[3rdCoast]

yeah... but there are gonna be alot of people at this wedding, and the bride and groom have paid alot of money for this thing. And I'm gonna kick off the reception, I want it to be good... I dont want to set the mood to dull.

My bros wedding cost 20K and I kicked it off too. short and sweet

[OnlyOneGinobili]

Alright.. Any more tips anyone can give me? I'm gonna keep this topic at the top

[3rdCoast]

are you scared or what? like nervous to talk in front of large groups of people?

[OnlyOneGinobili]

Yeah dude, I am... not that anyone cares, but I have a bit of a social anxiety problem, so if I can give this speech without a hitch, it will make the night much more enjoyable.

[TNT21]

Having done this before, if you have to, write yourself cheat cards or on your hand, which will no doubt be sweaty. Just write down key words you would like to touch on.

If all else fails yell "LETS START THIS MOTHAFUCKA OFF RIGHT", then head for the bar!

[Summers]

I'm not a dude, but...

For your nerves, keep this in mind: nobody is there to see you. They're there because they love the bride and groom, so no pressure. It's not going to be nationally televised, so all you have to do is speak from your heart for a few minutes, not put on a well-rehearsed performance.

I agree with AHF's formula. Say something nice about the bride and groom, congratulate them, maybe expound upon why you think they're a nice couple and how you know they'll be happy forever. Do not resort to tacky jokes about the bride's past sexual activity (or the groom's for that matter)--remember their grandmothers are there. Tell them you're happy for them and you're honored to have been chosen as best man. If you can't think of a funny ice-breaker just be honest and say, "To be honest, I'm very nervous and it's hard for me to speak in public and I wasn't sure what to say and I couldn't think of any jokes to tell..." That will immediately warm everyone up because everyone can identify with being nervous about speaking publicly.

Keep it short and simple and honest.

[OnlyOneGinobili]

Thanks Summer, good advice.

but I can use all I can get. And I know its not about me... a person with a social problem like me, doesnt really care who people are there for... we care that at some point all eyes will be on you. It doesnt matter how much you tell yourself to be calm, and its not your wedding... you feel the same way.

[scott]

Only 1 thing that must be done.

Vegas Bachelor Party.

[MannyIsGod]

I was a groomsman at my best friends wedding, and I gave a speech after his brother - the best man - did. Basicaly, I didn't have any thing thought up or I didn't have a formula to it, I just did my best to congulate them. They liked it, and thats all that matters. Just be true man, and it'll be fine.

[scott]

Oh yeah, make sure not to say anything about the Vegas Bachelor Party while you are giving your speech.

[Guru of Nothing]

Thanks Summer, good advice.

but I can use all I can get. And I know its not about me... a person with a social problem like me, doesnt really care who people are there for... we care that at some point all eyes will be on you. It doesnt matter how much you tell yourself to be calm, and its not your wedding... you feel the same way.

Is this a fear of public speaking kind of deal?

I used to feel the same way, but I got over it with proper diet and exercise.

Seriously! Eat right, take your vitamins, exercise, get plenty of rest, and very importantly, don't drink alcohol in the days leading up to the speech.

That worked for me. Your mileage may vary.

It could be that simple.

[King]

I was best man for my brother's wedding, and gave the speech. I assume you've known this guy for a while, and I assume you guys have lots of funny/good stories - all guys do. Stupid things you've done, funny things, etc. Just think about those. Just talk like you're talking to your friends. Easier said than done, I know, but just try to think of some stories you guys have, and it should come easy.

Try this site: http://www.thebestmanspeech.com/

Edit -- just make sure not to dog the groom and/or bride -- or anyone, for that matter. Have fun, but don't make anyone look bad.

[SequSpur]

When is this wedding again?

Be funny, be caring, make the groom look good.

Piece of cake.

[Guru of Nothing]

Oh yeah, make sure not to say anything about the Vegas Bachelor Party while you are giving your speech.


Scott, TESTIFY!

Didn't you once state on these boards that you overcame public anxiety (I'm using terms loosley here to keep the conversation moving)? I seem to recall you attacked your demons head on, literally forcing yourself into situations that required you to speak in front of others.

Personally, I never confronted my "demons," but through correct nutrition and exercise (and aging too, I suspect), I no longer have a fear of speaking in front of others; although, it's not something I really ever have to do.

Nowadays, my biggest fear is speaking my mind.

[ShoogarBear]

I was at one wedding where the best man started off telling what was apparently going to be an inappropriate story about the groom's past conquests. Just when everyone was about to start getting uncomfortable he stopped and said, "oh, wait, no, sorry it's Bob who got married, I'm sorry, I keep getting you and George all mixed up", and cracked everyone up.

[AlamoSpursFan]

Keeping in mind the age old tradition that the Best Man's job is to get the groom-to-be LAID!

And then if you get married and the friend you were best man for is in turn YOUR best man, make DAMN SURE his dumb ass doesn't tell your wife-to-be that YOU got HIM laid, so he's going to return the favor. Stupid, loud-mouth, ruined my bachelor party son of a...

But I digress.

You not only have to give a toast at the wedding, but also at the rehearsal dinner (which nobody bothered to tell me until they were all looking at me waiting for the FREAKING toast) so I stammered something about how I'd known the loudmouth in question all of my life and I couldn't think of anyone better to marry him than the broad he was 18 months from divorcing.

[Flea]

Just keep it short and sweet. Compliment them both and predict a long happy future together. The longer you stay up there the more uncomfortable you will feel and the more it will show. Good Luck!

[CosmicCowboy]

I hate speaking in public but have to do it every other month because I am chairman of a volunteer organization that has 400 people in it. Microphones suck. My advice...all the above suggestions about content are great...just say what works for you and them...with your fear of speaking I suggest that you not just wing it...know what you are going to say and rehearse it in your mind...you don't need to do it out loud but mentally put yourself in that situation and think about the exact words you are gonna use. If you are going to be drinking at the wedding then mentally rehearse it ahead of time when you are drinking...when the time comes then take a couple of deep breaths before you start...since you will be nervous you will have a tendency to rush it so you can get it over...don't...take your time and pause occasionally...remember to keep breathing...you are really talking to/about your friends...look at them and not the crowd...talk like you are talking to them...don't say uhhhh or "ya know?" while you are collecting your thoughts on what you are gonna say next...just pause and breathe instead...

after you are done smile at everyone, excuse yourself to the restroom and then puke you guts out if you need to...

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

I usually do my best speaking with a microphone in one hand and a drink in the other. If I smoked I'd hold a cigarette in the hand with my glass of scotch and I'd look like freaking Dean Martin.

I don't know why having something in my hands tends to calm my nerves, but it does. And I actually prefer speaking through a microphone, I heard some people say they don't. Hearing my voice over a loudspeaker allows me to separate myself from it all a little bit.

DON'T go up there drunk, but I think having A drink to calm the nerves a bit is ok.

I think being rested and nutritionally balanced is good as Guru mentioned. I try avoid caffeine before public speaking events because it sometimes makes my mind work faster than my mouth and that tends to mess things up a bit.

My best, best man speech was for a friend of mine who stayed single 'til the age of 35. I spoke about how picky he was when it came to women and how I thought he'd always be single. Then I unfurled the list of things he looked for in a woman and the list was on a scroll like 8 feet long. Then I went on to read some of them and compare his list to the woman he married. I made up some crazy-azz things and people thought it was hilarious. But I finished very seriously, telling the couple how special I thought they both were and how glad I was that a man with such high standards could actually find himself the perfect girl.

[Shelly]

I usually do my best speaking with a microphone in one hand and a drink in the other

You too, huh? I found that's the perfect way to liven up my reading of the PTA's treasurer report to the 3 parents that bother to show up.

[CosmicCowboy]

http://www.beaurivage.com/images/entertainment/ron_white.jpg

that works for me too!

[SpursWoman]

I like public speaking. :)

[FromWayDowntown]

I just gave my first best man speech in April. I didn't write anything until I got to the reception. I spent all of his wedding day just thinking about our friendship at various times, places, ages, and events. I didn't really speak to any of those particularly, but it reminded me of the overview of my friendship, which was enough to make the speech heartfelt and true, which was great.

I like the idea of opening with something funny -- in my case, my friend has an odd last name and his bride's maiden name was a little less odd. I opened by saying that if she had ever dreamed of finding an easier last name, she had missed the boat in choosing my friend -- it got a laugh. I then thanked her parents for the great time everyone was having and followed that up with a shout to my friend's parents for years and years of allowing us to be who we are.

In toasting my friend, I started by ribbing him a bit about small foibles ("Some of you might find this hard to believe, but I knew Bob when he actually had hair . . . . " things like that -- reminiscence of an embarrasing story about him as a kid) and then moved into the more emotional stuff.

On the whole, it worked out to be about 4-5 minutes.

If you're single and you give a good speech, you've created a perfect ice breaker with bridesmaids and single attendees, so keep that in mind -- it worked for me!

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

You too, huh? I found that's the perfect way to liven up my reading of the PTA's treasurer report to the 3 parents that bother to show up.


:lol Can I go?!!

[Jimcs50]

Here is a speech you can give, I gave it at tlong's wedding.

True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...

:)

[SpursWoman]

Here is a speech you can give, I gave it at tlong's wedding.

True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...

:)


:lmao :lmao :lmao


You owe me a new keyboard, fucker. :lol :lol :lol

[scott]

GoN, yes.

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

Here is a speech you can give, I gave it at tlong's wedding.

True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...

:)


:lmao

What SW said!! :lol

[Jimcs50]

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.

:lol

[Shelly]

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.

:lol

looks at the promise ring sadly...

[OnlyOneGinobili]

bump

[SpursFanDan]

Nevermind, The wedding is off. Thanks for all of your help though guys.

[SpursWoman]

What?!?!?!?

[SpursFanDan]

yeah pretty crazy... I'm not going to go into details, because its my best friend.. but they called it off.

[scott]

You should have the Vegas Bachelor Party anyway... I'm going to one in August, it promises to be off the chain.

[SpursFanDan]

Yeah.. this bachelor party probably would of taken place at D&B's... no vegas.