Rules of North Korean Basketball

[Juggity]

Link (http://deadspin.com/5988085/north-korea-invented-its-own-totally-different-way-of-scoring-basketball-games)

Chinese media report that North Korea has developed its own scoring system for the game: three points for a dunk, four points for a three pointer that doesn't touch the rim, and eight points for a basket scored in the final three seconds. (This rule is ... intriguing? The endings of North Korean basketball games must be cutthroat!) A missed free throw means minus-one point.


:lmao I would definitely pay to see the NBA put on an exhibition game using these rules. The idea of the eight-point shot is ridiculous.

Clippers vs. Thunder seems like it would be an entertaining matchup using these rules.

[baseline bum]

LOL Dwight Howard would be worse than Bonner.

[Clipper Nation]

DeAndre Jordan, Dwight, and the entire Nuggets roster would barely see the court with that -1 point for a missed freebie rule :lol

[irishock]

If a FT miss is -1 then a FT make should be +2.

[Reck]

LOL jam up in this bitch.

A match between Korea and China would be epic. Loser gets hanged. :lol

[Venti Quattro]

A match between Korea and China would be epic. Loser gets hanged. :lol

Or gets dropped with missiles

[Seventyniner]

They're all ridiculous rules, but the 8-pointer is in its own stratosphere of ludicrous.

How do they verify a shot didn't hit the rim? What is the precise definition of a dunk?

[Brunodf]

five points for a half court basket.

[Venti Quattro]

Do their scores run up to 300? Team USA should never engage North Koreans in a close battle then.

[irishock]

Anthony would probably have more value than any other player with the 8 point rule

[baseline bum]

The dunk should really be the one worth 8 points tbh. If some dude is 5'3" and hasn't eaten in a month and can still dunk, I mean damn, give the nigga some love on the scoreboard.

[Venti Quattro]

The dunk should really be the one worth 8 points tbh. If some dude is 5'3" and hasn't eaten in a month and can still dunk, I mean damn, give the nigga some love on the scoreboard.

:cry :cry Dear Leader hoisted me up in the air so I could make the dunk :cry :cry

[lefty]

Those rules :lmao

[baseline bum]

:cry :cry Dear Leader hoisted me up in the air so I could make the dunk :cry :cry

:cry Then they threw me and my kids in the gulag when I exercised the opt-out in my contract :cry

[Venti Quattro]

:cry Then they threw me and my kids in the gulag when I exercised the opt-out in my contract :cry

:cry I tried to crossover to South Korea but my brittle ankles got broken :cry

[Grit and Grind]

Dwight would retire from B-Ball if those rules came to the NBA

[Mao Zedong]

Socialist basketball is exciting. I decide who wins, of course.

[ffadicted]

what in tha...

[Latarian Milton]

and they should change the foul limit to 3 something, so that teams won't commit fouls on players like DH and DeMonkey abusively

[BobaFett1]

ww 3 hoops game

[irishock]

I decide who wins

Meh, not really unique since the NBA is the same way.

[PingPong]

http://i.imgur.com/aNHknHV.jpg

[Mao Zedong]

Meh, not really unique since the NBA is the same way.

Stalin, Stern and me go way back.

[BobaFett1]

Stalin, Stern and me go way back.

^ this

[SupremeGuy]

:cry :cry Dear Leader hoisted me up in the air so I could make the dunk :cry :cry:rollin

[cheguevara]

I don't get it. Isn't American Football rules as crazy as that? 7 point touchdown? 3 point field goal?

:lmao :lmao

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

League Commish Antoine Walker?

[Brunodf]

Socialist basketball is exciting. I decide who wins, of course.
Just like Stern

[lefty20]

I don't get it. Isn't American Football rules as crazy as that? 7 point touchdown? 3 point field goal?:lmao :lmaoTouchdowns are worth 6pts not 7. You can't assume the 7th pt as teams have the option to go for 2pts or they can pull a Romo and fuck up the PAT.

[Juggity]

Some of the greatest games in NBA history Re-Scored according to NK basketball rules (http://deadspin.com/5989049/some-of-the-greatest-games-in-nba-history-re+scored-under-north-korean-rules?post=58065783) :lol


Pistons at Celtics, Game 7 Eastern Conference Finals, 1987


Standard Result:
Celtics 117, Pistons 114 (http://www.basketball-reference.com/boxscores/198705300BOS.html)
North Korean Result:
Celtics 131, Pistons 130
An already close matchup turns heartbreaking for the Pistons, as Joe Dumars nails a meaningless eight-pointer at the buzzer with the Pistons down by nine. The Celtics wisely did not risk the nine-point play by contesting. Larry Bird had a legendary game with 44 points (37 standard scoring), while Dumars added 43 points (35 standard scoring) in the loss. The Pistons actually led Boston in North Korean bonus points 27 to 22, but missed 11 free throws to the Celtics eight. And that, right there, was the game.
Bulls at Cavaliers, Game 5 Eastern Conference First Round, 1989 ("The Shot")


Standard Result:
Bulls 101, Cavaliers 100 (http://www.basketball-reference.com/boxscores/198905070CLE.html)
North Korean Result:
Bulls 126, Cavaliers 117
In real life, Michael Jordan put up 44 points in one of the best games of his early career, but his three scores in the last three minutes (+18 points), three-point swish in the third (+1 point), and four missed free throws (-4 points) brought his North Korean total to 59. No dunks for Air Jordan this game, but he did have one spectacularly missed slam that went flying into the stands.
Craig Ehlo got an even bigger bump, adding three "endgame" scores of his own (+16 points over his standard total, as two of those were real-life threes) and one swish (+1 points) to his already team-leading 24 points, bringing the awkward-looking sixth man up to 41 North Korean points for the night.
The last possession would have played out very differently. This time down one, the Cavs' only hope is to foul and pray the shooter misses both free throws. "The Shot" no longer exists, and possibly incites a brawl for running up the score.
Lakers at Pacers, Game 4 NBA Finals, 2000

Standard Result:
Lakers 120, Pacers 118, OT (http://www.basketball-reference.com/boxscores/200006140IND.html)
North Korean Result:
Lakers 157, Pacers 142

I chose to ignore the fact that this game wouldn't have gone into overtime with North Korean scoring, because that would be boring and those last five minutes are what make it a classic. North Korea rules do not mention overtime, so I had to make one final assumption that scores in the last three minutes of overtime would count for eight point, same as in the last three minutes of regulation.
In these six minutes of crazy time, the Pacers had three baskets (+17 points, as one was a standard three-pointer), while the Lakers had six (+36 points). A 21-year old Kobe Bryant supplied four of those, ending the game with a North Korean total of 53 points (on just 28 standard). This knocked Shaquille O'Neil out of the team lead: even with five dunks (+5 points) and an endgame score (+6), his seven missed free throws dropped him to a total of 40 North Korean points (36 standard).
Reggie Miller got totally jobbed, as he added five swishes (+5 points) and went 11 of 12 from the line (-1 points), but did not score within the final three minutes of the 4th or OT, leaving him with just 39 for the night. Miller's buzzer-beating three attempt at the end of overtime is one of the greatest what-if moments in basketball history, but even if he had made it, the Pacers would still have North Korean lost.