theinstitute
07-09-2005, 08:10 AM
in the Middle East? Geez...it only took a couple of years to get them to start acting like professional athletes over here.
http://www.thebrushback.com/jihadistrefuses_full.htm
Jihadist Refuses To Report To Training Camp Without New Contract
RAWALPINDI , PAKISTAN --Mohammed al-Saref, a Pakistani jihadist, recently signed with the terror group Mujadeen Martyr Brigade to join the battle against the infidels in Afghanistan , Pakistani and Kashmir . However, al-Saref shocked the MMB last week when he declared that he would not report to his training camp in the lawless tribal region of Pakistan until the group reworked his deal.
“I would like a new deal, a new arrangement for myself,” al-Saref announced on Saturday in an interview with Al-Jazeera. “The current contract is unfair to me. I am a very good and loyal mujadeen warrior and I deserve to be compensated for my work. Therefore, I will not be reporting to camp in Rawalpindi . Sorry but I’m just trying to do what’s best for me and my family.”
Al-Saref said he was willing to sit out for an extended period of time if he demands are not met.
“God willing I will not have to sit out for too long,” he said. “Nobody wants to crush the infidel crusaders more than me. But fair is fair. If they will agree to sit down to the negotiating table and talk, I feel we can reach some sort of acceptable compromise. If they refuse, I will have no choice but to hold out. Suicide bombing is dangerous work, and I won’t do it for free.”
The news of the hold out was shocking to the terrorist community, in part because al-Saref’s deal was just signed last year and in part because the deal was comparable to the ones signed by other noted militants.
“This is crazy,” said one militant, who asked not to be identified. “His deal was actually quite lucrative. The MMB provided him with food, shelter, and clothing, and also promised a monthly stipend to his family after his martyrdom operation. Also he received a company car to pack with explosives. If that’s not enough, he gets to spend eternity being fed grapes and figs by beautiful young virgins. What else does he want, an ivory backscratcher?”
Inzamam Khan, who runs the terror training camp, stated in no uncertain terms that he would not negotiate with al-Saref and that the terror group was prepared to go on without him. Training camp is scheduled to get underway at the end of July and it’s business as usual, according to Khan.
“There will be no meetings, no negotiations,” Khan told reporters Monday. “Al-Saref signed the deal with us in good faith. It is a good deal, a fair deal, and the same deal that every jihadist gets. We can go on without him. There are millions of idealistic young men who are willing to take the sword of Allah and vanquish the crusaders. It’s fun. You get to wear scary black bandanas over your face, make cryptic videotapes for airing on CNN, blow things up, and ultimately commit suicide while taking dozens of innocent bystanders with you. Most people would do this for free. It beats the heck out of working for a living.”
When asked exactly what he was looking for in his new contract, al-Saref said it was a combination of money and security.
“What I would like is some guaranteed money,” said al-Saref. “That way I know that my family will be taken care of when I am martyred. Under the current conditions, the Mujadeen Martyr Brigade may choose to discontinue their monthly stipend at will. How is this fair? May I terminate my end of the contract at will? No I can’t. Once I pledge my allegiance to the MMB I am theirs forever. That is unjust. I am a proud mujadeen warrior and I deserve to be paid my fair market value. ”
Al-Saref’s demands have caused an uproar in the terrorist community, since most terrorists believe jihad is a sacred duty and not something to be done for profit. Even if he does report to training camp, al-Saref has lost the respect of his fellow militants.
What al-Saref is doing is inexcusable,” said Ahmed Shah, member of the Mujadeen Martyr Brigade. “Jihad is a holy duty that all Muslim men must undertake. We must crush the infidels and drive them out of our lands! This is not about money or material wealth. It is about Islam! If he comes back here he will not be welcome. Death to him. He is a no good sell out. He is not a team player. And between you and me, he is overrated. Just because he played hurt in the Super Bowl and gained 100 yards, he thinks he’s the best receiver in football. Oh, wait a minute. That’s Terrell Owens. Well he’s overrated, too, for that matter.”
http://www.thebrushback.com/jihadistrefuses_full.htm
Jihadist Refuses To Report To Training Camp Without New Contract
RAWALPINDI , PAKISTAN --Mohammed al-Saref, a Pakistani jihadist, recently signed with the terror group Mujadeen Martyr Brigade to join the battle against the infidels in Afghanistan , Pakistani and Kashmir . However, al-Saref shocked the MMB last week when he declared that he would not report to his training camp in the lawless tribal region of Pakistan until the group reworked his deal.
“I would like a new deal, a new arrangement for myself,” al-Saref announced on Saturday in an interview with Al-Jazeera. “The current contract is unfair to me. I am a very good and loyal mujadeen warrior and I deserve to be compensated for my work. Therefore, I will not be reporting to camp in Rawalpindi . Sorry but I’m just trying to do what’s best for me and my family.”
Al-Saref said he was willing to sit out for an extended period of time if he demands are not met.
“God willing I will not have to sit out for too long,” he said. “Nobody wants to crush the infidel crusaders more than me. But fair is fair. If they will agree to sit down to the negotiating table and talk, I feel we can reach some sort of acceptable compromise. If they refuse, I will have no choice but to hold out. Suicide bombing is dangerous work, and I won’t do it for free.”
The news of the hold out was shocking to the terrorist community, in part because al-Saref’s deal was just signed last year and in part because the deal was comparable to the ones signed by other noted militants.
“This is crazy,” said one militant, who asked not to be identified. “His deal was actually quite lucrative. The MMB provided him with food, shelter, and clothing, and also promised a monthly stipend to his family after his martyrdom operation. Also he received a company car to pack with explosives. If that’s not enough, he gets to spend eternity being fed grapes and figs by beautiful young virgins. What else does he want, an ivory backscratcher?”
Inzamam Khan, who runs the terror training camp, stated in no uncertain terms that he would not negotiate with al-Saref and that the terror group was prepared to go on without him. Training camp is scheduled to get underway at the end of July and it’s business as usual, according to Khan.
“There will be no meetings, no negotiations,” Khan told reporters Monday. “Al-Saref signed the deal with us in good faith. It is a good deal, a fair deal, and the same deal that every jihadist gets. We can go on without him. There are millions of idealistic young men who are willing to take the sword of Allah and vanquish the crusaders. It’s fun. You get to wear scary black bandanas over your face, make cryptic videotapes for airing on CNN, blow things up, and ultimately commit suicide while taking dozens of innocent bystanders with you. Most people would do this for free. It beats the heck out of working for a living.”
When asked exactly what he was looking for in his new contract, al-Saref said it was a combination of money and security.
“What I would like is some guaranteed money,” said al-Saref. “That way I know that my family will be taken care of when I am martyred. Under the current conditions, the Mujadeen Martyr Brigade may choose to discontinue their monthly stipend at will. How is this fair? May I terminate my end of the contract at will? No I can’t. Once I pledge my allegiance to the MMB I am theirs forever. That is unjust. I am a proud mujadeen warrior and I deserve to be paid my fair market value. ”
Al-Saref’s demands have caused an uproar in the terrorist community, since most terrorists believe jihad is a sacred duty and not something to be done for profit. Even if he does report to training camp, al-Saref has lost the respect of his fellow militants.
What al-Saref is doing is inexcusable,” said Ahmed Shah, member of the Mujadeen Martyr Brigade. “Jihad is a holy duty that all Muslim men must undertake. We must crush the infidels and drive them out of our lands! This is not about money or material wealth. It is about Islam! If he comes back here he will not be welcome. Death to him. He is a no good sell out. He is not a team player. And between you and me, he is overrated. Just because he played hurt in the Super Bowl and gained 100 yards, he thinks he’s the best receiver in football. Oh, wait a minute. That’s Terrell Owens. Well he’s overrated, too, for that matter.”