Awkward Moments

[I. Hustle]

What are some awkward experiences you've had?

For example: After my wife gave birth to my first daughter we were in her room waiting for the masseuse to come in and give her the post birthacy ( I don't know the name) massage.
I walked out to get something and when I walked in the chick giving my wife her massage says "Hustle?! It's me Marini!" (names have been changed to protect the innocent... and exploit those that do not post as often). I gave the "Oh shit" face and then was pleasantly surprised when all she did was mention that we went to school together and left out the boning stories from post high school drunkeness.

[DarrinS]

About ten years ago, me and a coworker get on the elevator (10th floor) to go out to lunch. Being the practical joker, he had hit the 8th floor button and simultaneously let out a SBD fart. I hadn't noticed that he hit the 8th floor button, so when the doors opened and he hopped out, I was like WTF? Then, the smell hit me. So, there I am, by mysellf in an elevator with the ass cloud of death. Needless to say, the doors opened on another floor and I was the only one in there. I don't know if that's awkward, or just embarassing.

[Avante]

I was a junior in high school my best buddy had his license and drove dads car to school. One day after school here's giving me a ride home, up ahead walking home was the amazingly foxy Vicki Burns....

Dave...wanna see if she wants a ride?
me....sure.
Dave...ok. I 'll pull up and you ask her.
me...ok.

So Dave pulls up, I lean out the window...

me...hi Vicki, want a ride?
Vicki...ok.

So I open the door and skoot over next to Dave.

They just look at each other.

[Big Empty]

I was at the Luke Bryan and Jason Aldean concert when they came and got so fucked up i pissed my pants. I pissed my pants in the bathroom stall i never unbutton my pants. I just stood infront of the toilet and pissed. i didnt even realized i pissed myself till i tried to button my pants and they are already on. Then I went to get another beer and was walking all close behind people to hide the piss stain going all the way down the left side of my leg. I made it back inside the dark concert to my date and it dried enough so noone noticed. I was scot free!!! The next day sober, i was getting alot of text messages laughing at me. I didnt realized I snapped a pic of it and sent a mass text to people thinking it was funny smh

[lebomb]

I was bangin this girl from Spain at my crib, and because of all the wine we consumed pre-sex...... I was raw doggin it. Well, I pull out just in time to skeet all over her tummy. I dash to the bathroom to grab a towel, and when I got back to her the skeet was gone. I was like :wtf ......... either she wiped it on my curtains or bed somewhere, she stuffed it up her vag (I hoped the hell not), or she ate it.