Michele Bachmann won’t seek re-election

[coyotes_geek]

Say hello to Fox' new political commentator...


Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann said early Wednesday that she will not run for re-election in 2014.

"After a great deal of thought and deliberation, I have decided next year I will not seek a fifth congressional term," Bachmann said in the eight-and-a-half-minute video. "After serious consideration, I am confident that this is the right decision."

link (http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/ticket/michelle-bachmann-won-t-seek-election-084832215.html)

[George Gervin's Afro]

There's a village in Minnesota that is going to miss her..

[boutons_deux]

Michele Bachmann's 5 Wildest Predictions, including Slavery, Sharia and More


1. Obama will impose Sharia law

As the leader of a group of House Republicans that sought an investigation (http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/bachmann-obama-spit-constitution-muslim-brotherhood-penetrated-government) into Muslim-American staffers of the Obama administration, Bachmann repeatedly warned that administration officials and President Obama himself are determined to impose Sharia law in the US and around the world (http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/bachmann-warns-obama-may-be-aiding-rise-global-sharia-law) and take away the freedom of speech, religion, press and assembly (http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/bachmann-obama-lift-islamists-impose-sharia).

2. Obama creating slavery, reeducation camps

At a 2010 conservative summit, Bachmann maintained that the first years of the Obama administration was part of an effort to turn “our country into a nation of slaves (http://coloradoindependent.com/57145/bachmann-calls-for-constitutional-conservative-takeover-to-free-nation-of-slaves).” Ironically, Bachmann had signed (http://www.motherjones.com/mojo/2011/07/bachmann-pledge-slavery-family-leader) a Religious Right group’s candidate pledge which said that African-American families were better off under slavery than “after the election of the USA’s first African-American president.” She also warned that Obama will create “re-education camps for young people” by expanding AmeriCorps, an organization of which her own son is a member (http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2009/08/12/55795/bachmann-teach-son/), and might use the Census to put people into internment camps (http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2009/06/25/47650/bachmann-fox-census/).

3. God will repeal Obamacare

After leading an unsuccessful prayer effort (http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/remembrance-bachmann-things-past-praying-stop-healthcare-reform) to stop Congress from passing Obamacare, she has consistently guaranteed (http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/bachmann-guarantees-repeal-obamacare) that the law will be rescinded. If not, Bachmann has claimed that the law will “literally kill (http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-politics/wp/2013/03/21/bachmann-obamacare-literally-kills-people/)” people, institute “death panels (http://politicalcorrection.org/blog/200912230001),” deny health care to conservatives (http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/article/2013/may/20/fact-checking-michele-bachamann-irs-and-health-car/) and government critics (http://www.startribune.com/blogs/83350677.html) and establish school “sex clinics (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/01/bachmann-sex-clinics-will_n_306292.html)” with abortion services. Earlier this month she told James Dobson that “God is going to answer our prayers (http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/bachmann-god-going-answer-our-prayers-and-repeal-obamacare)” and compel Obama to repeal the health care law.

4. Schools will turn kids gay

Bachmann began her political career by working in education issues, and as Religious Right activist, she naturally thought that public schools will teach kids to be gay, warning (http://www.thebachmannrecord.com/thebachmannrecod.html) that soon “all schools will begin teaching homosexuality” and “little K-12 children will be forced to learn that homosexuality is normal, natural, and perhaps they should try it,” even suggesting that schools will use Elton John music in the Lion King to turn kids gay. “It’s part of Satan I think to say that this is “gay.” It’s anything but gay,” Bachmann said at a conference hosted by the far-right group EdWatch, “If you’re involved in the gay and lesbian lifestyle, it’s bondage. It is personal bondage, personal despair and personal enslavement.”

5. God backed her presidential bid

While on the campaign trail (and after (http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/bachmann-lord-called-her-run-criticize-obamacare)), Bachmann invoked God (http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/michele-bachmann-gop-congresswoman-2012-presidential-race-calling-article-1.142302) as a supporter of her presidential bid, and she also called on God to put together her campaign operations (http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/bachmann-ask-god-assemble-and-anoint-my-campaign). Of course, she finished last (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iowa_Republican_caucuses,_2012#Republican_caucuses ) among major contenders in the Iowa caucus with just over 6,000 votes, and her campaign team was plagued by infighting (http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/bachmann-ask-god-assemble-and-anoint-my-campaign) and is currently under investigation for campaign violations (http://www.salon.com/2013/05/19/fbi_reportedly_joins_bachmann_campaign_finance_pro be/).

http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/michele-bachmann-s-5-wildest-predictions-obama-creating-slavery-and-sharia-schools-turning-k

[boutons_deux]

CONGRESS’S AVERAGE I.Q. EXPECTED TO RISE IN 2015

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/boro-bachmann-iq.jpg

The average I.Q. of a member of the House of Representatives is expected to rise sharply in 2015, experts said today.

The experts, who indicated that they were “cautiously optimistic” about the development, said that the gains were most likely to be made in the Midwest.

The expected rise in I.Q. could mean that the average congressperson would have a greater grasp of basic concepts in math and science, including the law of evolution, as well as addition and subtraction.

The last time a branch of the federal government experienced such a significant increase in average I.Q., experts said, was the executive branch in 2009.


http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/05/congress-average-iq-expected-to-rise-in-2014.html?mbid=nl_Borowitz%20(130)

[boutons_deux]

Reliving The Crazy: Michele Bachmann’s Greatest Hits

1) Barack Obama Has ‘Anti-American Views’

One MSNBC appearance in October 2008 all but sealed Bachmann’s reputation — as a paranoid wacko to liberals and a fearless hero to the tea party crowd.

“Absolutely. I’m very concerned that he may have anti-American views,” she said (http://blogs.suntimes.com/sweet/2008/10/rep_michele_bachmann_tells_chr.html) of candidate Barack Obama. “That’s what the American people are concerned about.”

And members of Congress should be investigated for having anti-American views, she added. “I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out, are they pro-America or anti-America?”

2) Obamacare Allows Abortion Field Trips For 13-Year-Olds

Referring to patient privacy protections in the Affordable Care Act, Bachmann wondered if young teenagers could go get abortions during school days.

“Does that mean that someone’s 13-year-old daughter could walk into a sex clinic, have a pregnancy test done, be taken away to the local Planned Parenthood abortion clinic, have their abortion, be back and go home on the school bus that night?” she said on the House floor. “Mom and Dad are never the wiser.”

3) Census Data Can Put You In Internment Camps

In a June 2009 Fox News interview, Bachmann linked the census to Japanese internment camps.

“Between 1942 and 1947,” she said, “the data that was collected by the Census Bureau was handed over to the FBI and other organizations at the request of President Roosevelt, and that’s how the Japanese were rounded up and put into internment camps. I’m not saying that that’s what the administration is planning to do. But I am saying that private personal information that was given to the Census Bureau in the 1940s was used against them to round them up in violation of their constitutional rights.”

4) Iraq Should Reimburse America For Being Liberated

During a debate while running for the Republican nomination for president, Bachmann said Iraq and Libya should reimburse the United States for being liberated.

“Cutting back on foreign aid is one thing. Being reimbursed by nations that we have liberated is another,” she said. “We should look to Iraq, and Libya, to reimburse us for part of what we have done to liberate these nations.”

5) Founding Fathers ‘Worked Tirelessly’ To End Slavery

In a Jan. 2011 speech, Bachmann credited the Founders with ending slavery, even though it was abolished generations after they died.

“We know there was slavery that was still tolerated when the nation began,” she said. “We know that was an evil and it was scourge and a blot and a stain upon our history. But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States.”

6) HPV Vaccine Leads To ‘Mental Retardation’

While running for president, Bachmann said she has reason to believe the human papillomavirus (HPV) vaccine has “dangerous consequences” such as mental retardation.
“There’s a woman who came up crying to me tonight after the debate. She said her daughter was given that vaccine,” she told on Fox News. “She told me her daughter suffered mental retardation as a result. There are very dangerous consequences.”

7) People Keep Urging Me To Impeach Obama

Just this month, Bachmann floated the possibility of impeaching President Obama.

“As I have been home in my district, in the 6th District of Minnesota,” she said on Capitol Hill, “there isn’t a weekend that hasn’t gone by that someone says to me, ‘Michele, what in the world are you all waiting for in Congress? Why aren’t you impeaching the president? He’s been making unconstitutional actions since he came into office.’”

http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2013/05/reliving-the-crazy-michele-bachmanns-greatest-hits.php

Are there any Dem politicians, in number and/or craziness, that compare to Bachmann, Gohmert, the Repug Rape Caucus, OK Senators, etc, etc? of course not

[CosmicCowboy]

She may be crazy as a loon but I'd still like to break her over like a shotgun and load both barrels.

[boutons_deux]

CC, typical conservative, a sexist pig arrested at adolescence with fantasies of what manhood is.

[CosmicCowboy]

boutons, typical liberal jackoff living with his mother.

[CosmicCowboy]

I have to admit I always got off on getting "good" girls to do bad, bad things. :lol

[Th'Pusher]

I have to admit I always got off on getting "good" girls to do bad, bad things. :lol
Like what? Getting her to snowball with you?

[CosmicCowboy]

Like what? Getting her to snowball with you?

No problem as long as it's mine.

[Th'Pusher]

No problem as long as it's mine.
:wow gotta say I was mot expecting that response...

[DarrinS]

What's with Minnesota and their crazy ass politicos?

[Wild Cobra]

LOL...

Boutons...

LOL...

She never said Obama would impose Sharia law. Where do you find that nonsense? How can anyone be so stupid as to believe it?

And you have the audacity to call Bachmann stupid...

[TeyshaBlue]

:wow gotta say I was mot expecting that response...

*bulk erasing brain*

[Wild Cobra]

CC, typical conservative, a sexist pig arrested at adolescence with fantasies of what manhood is.
I can't resist...

What do you think manhood is?

[boutons_deux]

MB wasn't an isolated fringe fool. The House Repugs put her on the House Intelligence committee! :lol

[baseline bum]

She may be crazy as a loon but I'd still like to break her over like a shotgun and load both barrels.

Psycho bitch sex can be awesome, but you have to talk to them before and after.

[Wild Cobra]

MB wasn't an isolated fringe fool. The House Repugs put her on the House Intelligence committee! :lol

How does that support your lie that she said Obama supports Sharia Law?

Most the bad stuff people say is twisting what she really says. Yes, she says a great deal of politically incorrect remarks. She does say more than she knows at times. She's just not a good liar like most politicians are.

[Spurminator]

The Onion delivers as usual...

http://www.theonion.com/articles/michele-bachmann-god-wants-me-to-earn-7-figures-fo,32618/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=standard-post:headline:default

Michele Bachmann: ‘God Wants Me To Earn 7 Figures For A Lobbying Firm’

NEWS (http://www.theonion.com/features/news/) • Politics (http://www.theonion.com/channels/politics/) • News (http://www.theonion.com/channels/news/) • ISSUE 49•22 (http://www.theonion.com/issue/4922/) • May 29, 2013
http://o.onionstatic.com/images/22/22241/original/700.jpg?9572
Bachmann said the Lord and Savior urged her to consider the considerable financial benefits offered by live speaking gigs.?

WASHINGTON—Saying that it’s the Lord’s will, Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann announced on her website Wednesday that she has decided not to seek reelection in 2014 because God wants her to earn millions of dollars working for a high-powered lobbying firm.
According to Bachmann, God spoke to her directly after many days of intense prayer and ultimately told the exiting Congresswoman that there is no reason she should only make $174,000 per year when she could easily earn up to eight times that amount in the private sector.

“This was a difficult decision for me, but God said this is a highly lucrative opportunity and I need to capitalize on my fame now before my high media profile diminishes,” said Bachmann, adding that the Supreme Being commanded her to “strike while the iron’s hot” and work for a conservative lobbying group like FreedomWorks or the John Birch Society or whichever one offers her the most money. “I would love to stay on and represent Minnesota’s 6th congressional district, but who am I to ignore God’s plan, which He said could earn me over $10 million next year and over $20 million the following year if I invest wisely, which God wants me to do as well.”

“God also wants me to make a lot of money on the speaking circuit,” Bachmann added.

During the announcement, Bachmann said that in addition to working for a lobbying firm, the Lord and Savior urged her to sign a book deal with a multi-million-dollar advance, become a regular contributor to Fox News, and hire a television agent in case there is money to be made either by producing television shows or being the star of a reality program that centers around her.

Bachmann confirmed that in her numerous conversations with the Lord, she argued that she was most useful fighting for the people of Minnesota, but that God made it clear he wants the congresswoman to be very, very wealthy and to relentlessly leverage her brand for monetary profit. According to Bachmann, at one point God said to her, “If you don’t do this now you are shooting yourself in the foot. Because if you lose the upcoming election and are forced out of public service, you will be seen as a liability, and no one is going to pay good money for a liability.”

Bachmann said that as much as it hurts her to leave Congress, it would hurt her more to disappoint God.

“When it comes down to it, the Lord said in a vision, ‘Madam Congresswoman, I want you to be anti-gay, anti-immigration, and anti-gun control, but I want you to promote those values from a position where you can command seven- or eight-figure sums, preferably while living in a locale with sufficient tax breaks,’” Bachmann said toward the end of her announcement. “Jesus was with Him, too, and He wholeheartedly agreed. Then Jesus said I would be doing a great disservice to myself and the people I love if I don’t buy a new Mercedes. The silver one with the convertible top I’ve had my eye on for some time.”

[baseline bum]

The Onion delivers as usual...

http://www.theonion.com/articles/michele-bachmann-god-wants-me-to-earn-7-figures-fo,32618/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=standard-post:headline:default

Michele Bachmann: ‘God Wants Me To Earn 7 Figures For A Lobbying Firm’

...


:rollin

Fucking love The Onion :lol

[Drachen]

I think westboro couldn't be more wrong... God obviously loves fags. MN passed same sex marriage act and now Bachmann is quitting congress and possibly leaving the state. He is retracting his plagues. God's got some mad gay love.

[ElNono]

I'm not even sure this is good news or bad news for the GOP...

[DUNCANownsKOBE]

What's with Minnesota and their crazy ass politicos?

What's the difference between Bachmann's views and your views?

[Jacob1983]

You guys will laugh now but she will have the last laugh. This crazy woman will probably wind up having her own show on FOX News and will probably at least 100,000 a year on FOX News. Just think of all the redneck GOP groups that will pay her money to speak in public.

[DUNCANownsKOBE]

No one's laughing at her. We're laughing at the GOP for investing so much in a heinous cunt who never gave two shits about the GOP and was only in it for herself, leaving a path of destruction with retarded comments that made people realize the tea party is a loony group of bible thumpers.

[ElNono]

You guys will laugh now but she will have the last laugh. This crazy woman will probably wind up having her own show on FOX News and will probably at least 100,000 a year on FOX News. Just think of all the redneck GOP groups that will pay her money to speak in public.

That's cool for her, as it was cool for Palin... but if you're the GOP, I'm not sure that's a really enticing prospect. These are the kind of people the party should really run as far away as possible from, tbh.

[DUNCANownsKOBE]

I'm also laughing at right wingers like DarrinS and WC who agree with virtually everything she says but sanctimoniously call her crazy knowing it makes them seem credible because the rest of the country thinks she's crazy.

[Jacob1983]

Extremists are popular and successful in America. She will find work somewhere and probably be successful. Some group will want to hear the crazy shit that comes out of her mouth. The GOP is fucked and it will probably take them a decade or two to repair the damage that Bush and other neo-cons did to the party. The outlook for Democrats isn't that great either. Both political parties are pathetic and jokes in America but it's how we roll in America. 3rd parties have no chance because Democrats and Republicans say so. When Republicans and Democrats make the rules and basically shut 3rd parties out completely, then you're basically stuck with tweedledee and tweedledum.

[ElNono]

Sure, Jacob.. they're both crap. If the Dems would have a Bachman-like presidential candidate, I would also argue he/she needs to GTFO.

[boutons_deux]

Maddow shot MB in back, like a retreating Iraq Army. :lol

The Repug's Hoot-Smawley act fixed the Depression until FDR screwed it up?

MB, if elected President, said she would close the US Embassy in Tehran! :lol

[coyotes_geek]

I'm not even sure this is good news or bad news for the GOP...

Depends where she goes from here. Lobbyist = good for GOP because she's out of the public eye. Fox News contributor = bad for GOP because her nutjob-ness is still on display to all.

[boutons_deux]

good news, because in a very red district, she almost lost to a newcomer Dem. So now a less insane, ingnorant candidate can take over.

[DUNCANownsKOBE]

Yeah I agree with boutons on this. The less morons like her and Louie Gohmert they have in congress, the less retarded the GOP looks.

[LnGrrrR]

No problem as long as it's mine.

Can't.... unread...

[spursncowboys]

Can't.... unread...
:lol

[boutons_deux]

Yeah I agree with boutons on this. The less morons like her and Louie Gohmert they have in congress, the less retarded the GOP looks.

Repug leadership knows this, and are trying to get rid of the extreme assholes like Akin, King/IA, etc, etc who they know put off the independents in the Prez race.

[DUNCANownsKOBE]

Repug leadership knows this, and are trying to get rid of the extreme assholes like Akin, King/IA, etc, etc who they know put off the independents in the Prez race.
:lol King is one of my favorites since he went on that rant about how it's legal to rape and kidnap a 13 year old girl.

[LnGrrrR]

Less extreme morons and assholes in government is a good thing.

[ElNono]

Depends where she goes from here. Lobbyist = good for GOP because she's out of the public eye. Fox News contributor = bad for GOP because her nutjob-ness is still on display to all.

Exactly what I was thinking :toast

[TeyshaBlue]

Can't.... unread...

I know. That made parts of me completely disappear!

[baseline bum]

I'll miss things like her comparison of taxation to the holocaust.

[DUNCANownsKOBE]

I'll miss things like her comparison of taxation to the holocaust.
I like when she implied swine flu outbreaks were related to a democrat being in office.

[baseline bum]

Maddow shot MB in back, like a retreating Iraq Army. :lol

The Repug's Hoot-Smawley act fixed the Depression until FDR screwed it up?

MB, if elected President, said she would close the US Embassy in Tehran! :lol




Cracks me up when Republicans hate on FDR. LOL Republicans' whole campaign in 1940 was about appeasing Hitler and how FDR was going to have us going into Europe to fight a war Europeans should be fighting. How FDR was wrong to be sending weapons and food to England and risking our ships against the Germans' U-boats.

It's kind of an embarrassment the nation was so isolationist that FDR couldn't get into the war until Pearl Harbor despite the Luftwaffe's constant terrorist bombing over England for almost two years and occupation of France. I mean how did we let one of our greatest historic allies go down without doing shit?

[Jacob1983]

Didn't FDR hold Japanese Americans hostage in camps?

[baseline bum]

Didn't FDR hold Japanese Americans hostage in camps?

Yes, and that was shady as fuck since a lot of families lost their homes and businesses in addition to their freedom. Tells you what a jerkoff the Bill of Rights really is.

[TheProfessor]

Yes, and that was shady as fuck since a lot of families lost their homes and businesses in addition to their freedom. Tells you what a jerkoff the Bill of Rights really is.
Not to mention the Supreme Court of the United States was totally fine with it (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Korematsu_v._United_States) at the time.

[Th'Pusher]

Not to mention the Supreme Court of the United States was totally fine with it (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Korematsu_v._United_States) at the time.
Has Korematsu v US decision been used as precedent for any other unseemly discrimination since?

[TheProfessor]

Has Korematsu v US decision been used as precedence for any other unseemly discrimination since?While not specifically reversed, I think Korematsu is regarded as one of the more shameful low points of the Supreme Court, and will never be cited in support of compulsory exclusion. However, the basic idea (that the needs of a country at war outweigh the rights of an individual or group) is still embraced by the Court, e.g., the material support statute.