There is a God and I can ...

[Avante]

...prove it.

I went out to mow my backyard, I couldn't get my mower to turnover, I yanked and yanked and yanked, it would sputter, sputter and sputter, so after at least 30 yanks it's...fuck it~~~ It's also about 150 degrees outside, sweat pouring off me, it's blinding me. So I go back in the house, whoever invented AC....thank you. I dunk my head in the sink, towel off and grab a beer, then look to the Heavens..

God, here's your chance, you want me you got me, all I need from You is to show me a sign, so when I go back out there if You start that mower for me I'm yours.

So I head back out into the Sahara, put down my ice cold Bud after one last long hit and look one more time to the Heavens as I approach the mower, I grab the.......BAM!!!!!!!!!..started right up and purred like a kitten. If that isn't proof of His existence what is?

[ChumpDumper]

There is no God.

This thread proves it.

[Avante]

There is no God.

This thread proves it.

Well if He can do it once He can do it again.

God, you almost got me, I'm almost there, if just maybe You could show me just one more sign, ok? How about zappng this little shit, ok? Do we really need a ChumpDumper, what good are they?

[DeadlyDynasty]

I saw a Coral Snake when I was mowing my lawn a couple weeks ago...I ran like a bitch in the other direction.

[ChumpDumper]

Well if He can do it once He can do it again.

God, you almost got me, I'm almost there, if just maybe You could show me just one more sign, ok? How about zappng this little shit, ok? Do we really need a ChumpDumper, what good are they?You seriously prayed to God to kill me?

So much for ignoring me. Barely lasted a couple hours.

[Avante]

I saw a Coral Snake when I was mowing my lawn a couple weeks ago...I ran like a bitch in the other direction.

I wish I lived someplace where that could happen, very cool~~~~~~~

[Avante]

You seriously prayed to God to kill me?

So much for ignoring me. Barely lasted a couple hours.

Of course not stupid, this is just another troll job, sheesh~~~~~~~~~~~~

[ChumpDumper]

Not even four hours.

You need to pray for the ability to back up your short, fat mouth.

[Clipper Nation]

Well if He can do it once He can do it again.

God, you almost got me, I'm almost there, if just maybe You could show me just one more sign, ok? How about zappng this little shit, ok? Do we really need a ChumpDumper, what good are they?
Chump's still alive, guess your god either doesn't exist, or - like everyone else - tunes your annoying ass out :lol

[Rogue]

I used to doubt it but I've been a firm believer of its existence since I got the obsession with Scarlett. Basically you can't expect anything so distinctive and exquisite to be made in the world of mortals, she must be made in the heaven and sent to us as a gift from God tbh

[Avante]

Not even four hours.

You need to pray for the ability to back up your short, fat mouth.

Dude, I work you so hard and you don't even see it, hahahaha!!!!!!!

[Avante]

Chump's still alive, guess your god either doesn't exist, or - like everyone else - tunes your annoying ass out :lol

I don't know so far He's batting 500. Ruth had a lifetime 342.

[ChumpDumper]

Dude, I work you so hard and you don't even see it, hahahaha!!!!!!!Yeah, you say you're ignoring me and then you don't ignore me.

That'll show me!

[Avante]

I used to doubt it but I've been a firm believer of its existence since I got the obsession with Scarlett. Basically you can't expect anything so distinctive and exquisite to be made in the world of mortals, she must be made in the heaven and sent to us as a gift from God tbh

I know exactly what you mean, when my Judy walked in the backdoor of that bar it was as if God had sent down an angel.

[Avante]

Yeah, you say you're ignoring me and then you don't ignore me.

That'll show me!

How sad is it to tell somebody you are ignoring them and they...STILL....follow you around? Talk about one desperate leg humper, wow~~~~~~

[Trill Clinton]

...prove it.

I went out to mow my backyard, I couldn't get my mower to turnover, I yanked and yanked and yanked, it would sputter, sputter and sputter, so after at least 30 yanks it's...fuck it~~~ It's also about 150 degrees outside, sweat pouring off me, it's blinding me. So I go back in the house, whoever invented AC....thank you. I dunk my head in the sink, towel off and grab a beer, then look to the Heavens..

God, here's your chance, you want me you got me, all I need from You is to show me a sign, so when I go back out there if You start that mower for me I'm yours.

So I head back out into the Sahara, put down my ice cold Bud after one last long hit and look one more time to the Heavens as I approach the mower, I grab the.......BAM!!!!!!!!!..started right up and purred like a kitten. If that isn't proof of His existence what is?


God is good all the time!!!

[ChumpDumper]

How sad is it to tell somebody you are ignoring them and they...STILL....follow you around? Talk about one desperate leg humper, wow~~~~~~How sad is it that you can't ignore me after saying you're ignoring me? Talk about a desperate attention whore, wow~~~~~~

[Avante]

How sad is it that you can't ignore me after saying you're ignoring me? Talk about a desperate attention whore, wow~~~~~~

When will you ever figure it out moron?

[Avante]

God is good all the time!!!

Yes He is bro.

[Spur|n|Austin]

There is no God.

This thread proves it.

:lmao

[Woo Bum-kon]

Meanwhile in Africa and Oklahoma...

[cute_spursfan]

there is a god. most non-believers are just puppets of satan.

god bless all of you.

mwah

[Avante]

there is a god. most non-believers are just puppets of satan.

god bless all of you.

mwah

What convinced you of His existence?

[cute_spursfan]

i grew up an athiest. much like you, i asked for signs and got one the night i had a near-death experience

i never questioned GOD..... thereafter

[ChumpDumper]

So god tried to kill you?

Damn, what an emo deity.

[Avante]

i grew up an athiest. much like you, i asked for signs and got one the night i had a near-death experience

i never questioned GOD..... thereafter

It's when you see the effect He has on those who "finally" come to Him, how much better their life is with Him in it. He changes lives.

[Suspect]

I woke up and looked to the Heavens and PRAYED that Avante would never post again

welp

[J.T.]

I saw a Coral Snake when I was mowing my lawn a couple weeks ago...I ran like a bitch in the other direction.

Buy a gun, pansy. I've shot three rattlesnakes already this summer, including one in my garage last week. Additionally, I was walking my dog maybe like three weeks back. It had just rained, and I was on the sidewalk on a bridge going over a ditch. Saw a 4ft rattler moseying through the water and high grass, with two crows hopping backwards near him. After about 10 seconds of watching this, he struck one of the crows while the other one flew off. You don't get to see that National Geographic shit every day. Wish I could have filmed it.

[Trill Clinton]

there is a god. most non-believers are just puppets of satan.

god bless all of you.

mwah

once you recognize the truth and accept it, then live it, the truth will set you free. congratulations on finding jesus christ, my friend.

[AussieFanKurt]

Interesting story!!!!!!!!

[ohmwrecker]

I cannot accept a god that has nothing better to do than start Avante's lawn mower.

[exstatic]

Buy a gun, pansy. I've shot three rattlesnakes already this summer, including one in my garage last week. Additionally, I was walking my dog maybe like three weeks back. It had just rained, and I was on the sidewalk on a bridge going over a ditch. Saw a 4ft rattler moseying through the water and high grass, with two crows hopping backwards near him. After about 10 seconds of watching this, he struck one of the crows while the other one flew off. You don't get to see that National Geographic shit every day. Wish I could have filmed it.

How primitive IS your damn phone?

[exstatic]

I cannot accept a god that has nothing better to do than start Avante's lawn mower.

[Avante]

once you recognize the truth and accept it, then live it, the truth will set you free. congratulations on finding jesus christ, my friend.

You seem to be on another level around here Trill, and you believe.

[Avante]

I cannot accept a god that has nothing better to do than start Avante's lawn mower.

I think He really wants me, He knows the power I possesse. How I can gather the masses.

[ohmwrecker]

I think He really wants me, He knows the power I possesse. How I can gather the masses.

He needs someone to hold his shit bucket.

[Avante]

He needs someone to hold his shit bucket.

So you think God shits in a bucket? And He has somebody hold it while He's shitting. No wonder we don't get along you're a fucking idiot. So tell me moron where do they dump this bucket in paradise? Where do they make shit buckets in Heaven? Do you think at all before posting?

[ohmwrecker]

So you think God shits in a bucket? And He has somebody hold it while He's shitting. No wonder we don't get along you're a fucking idiot. So tell me moron where do they dump this bucket in paradise? Where do they make shit buckets in Heaven? Do you think at all before posting?

Do you know what a metaphor is? I think they are widely used in blues music.

[ChumpDumper]

So you think God shits in a bucket? And He has somebody hold it while He's shitting. No wonder we don't get along you're a fucking idiot. So tell me moron where do they dump this bucket in paradise? Where do they make shit buckets in Heaven? Do you think at all before posting?If anything, god shits directly on central California.

[DUNCANownsKOBE]

I think He really wants me, He knows the power I possesse. How I can gather the masses.
Is that why he made you a 280 pound pre-beetus fatass?

[ChumpDumper]

And short.

[DUNCANownsKOBE]

I thought he said he was 6'2"

Did he also lie about that :lol

[Avante]

Do you know what a metaphor is? I think they are widely used in blues music.

Then there's simply stupidity which seems to be widely used by you.

Wdwu0I_vhXk

[Avante]

Is that why he made you a 280 pound pre-beetus fatass?

He didn't make me a 278 pounder I did. If not for the wreight training I'm probably more around 260ish. Large frame, big boned. Was 245 when I left HS.

[Avante]

I thought he said he was 6'2"

Did he also lie about that :lol

Yep, 6-2.

[silverblk mystix]

So you think God shits in a bucket? And He has somebody hold it while He's shitting. No wonder we don't get along you're a fucking idiot. So tell me moron where do they dump this bucket in paradise? Where do they make shit buckets in Heaven? Do you think at all before posting?


:lmao


Before reading this quote by Avante - I never really knew what the term;

"slap someone silly"

meant....


After reading this...I know. He slapped this midget silly!

:lmao

[ChumpDumper]

I thought he said he was 6'2"

Did he also lie about that :lolYes, he lied about that too.

[ohmwrecker]

Then there's simply stupidity which seems to be widely used by you.

Deflecting from the fact that you don't understand metaphors.

[Avante]

Deflecting from the fact that you don't understand metaphors.

That coming from an idiot talking about God shitting in a bucket, hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Angel..excuse me GOD but can we talk?
GOD...YES MY SON.
Angel...we are running low on toilet paper could you maybe ya know zap some more?
GOD...NO PROBLEM MY SON, CONSIDER IT DONE.
Angel...thanks God! One last thing, what do we do with those buckets of shit?
GOD...(ZAP!)...DONE TAKEN CARE OF MY SON
Angel...anything you can't do?
God...OF COURSE NOT I'M GOD

[ohmwrecker]

lol still doesn't get it

lol thinks I literally meant a bucket of shit

lol calls me an idiot

[Avante]

lol still doesn't get it

lol thinks I literally meant a bucket of shit

lol calls me an idiot

I get it guy, you said something stupid and know it. And now you're trying to worm out from under it.

Look guy it's real obvious you suck at this back and forth ...my dick is bigger than yours...bullshit, so why not bail out, ok? Stick to what you know this ain't it, trust me.

[silverblk mystix]

I get it guy, you said something stupid and know it. And now you're trying to worm out from under it.

Look guy it's real obvious you suck at this back and forth ...my dick is bigger than yours...bullshit, so why not bail out, ok? Stick to what you know this ain't it, trust me.



:lmao

[ohmwrecker]

I get it guy, you said something stupid and know it. And now you're trying to worm out from under it.

Look guy it's real obvious you suck at this back and forth ...my dick is bigger than yours...bullshit, so why not bail out, ok? Stick to what you know this ain't it, trust me.

So, you want me to leave you alone? You want me to stop shitting in your bucket? <---metaphor.

I would apologize for hurting your feelings, but your personality makes it impossible for me to show you any sympathy at all. You are a gigantic baby.

[ohmwrecker]

:lmao

cocksucking sycophant.

[silverblk mystix]

I got slapped silly! Silly - I tell you!!!


:lmao

[ohmwrecker]

I can see why you two get along so well.

[silverblk mystix]

I am drowning here...help!!!!

[Avante]

So, you want me to leave you alone? You want me to stop shitting in your bucket? <---metaphor.

I would apologize for hurting your feelings, but your personality makes it impossible for me to show you any sympathy at all. You are a gigantic baby.

What is your trip about shitting in a bucket, where were you raised, Arkansas?

How in the hell is an obvious midget like you going to hurt my feelings? Like I said....jousting ain't for you...ok? Gigantic baby??? You're not showing any sympathy...???? Dude, that shit sucks, ok?

Look, why not watch how it's done maybe take some notes, ok? As of right now I do feel guilty slapping you around, you can't defend yourself worth a damn. This...you're a gigantic baby....hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If this were a fight that'd stop it on cuts, look at yourself blood all over the place.

[ChumpDumper]

God shits on central California.

[ohmwrecker]

What is your trip about shitting in a bucket, where were you raised, Arkansas?

How in the hell is an obvious midget like you going to hurt my feelings? Like I said....jousting ain't for you...ok? Gigantic baby??? You're not showing any sympathy...???? Dude, that shit sucks, ok?

Look, why not watch how it's done maybe take some notes, ok? As of right now I do feel guilty slapping you around, you can't defend yourself worth a damn. This...you're a gigantic baby....hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You and your little monkey are the only ones who believe any of this shit and I have a feeling that, deep down, you don't really believe it either.

[ohmwrecker]

God shits on central California.

He did at least once apparently.

[Avante]

You and your little monkey are the only ones who believe any of this shit and I have a feeling that, deep down, you don't really believe it either.

How many times/ways can someone be wrong inside a couple hours? Dude, you suck at this, get another gig, ok?

Somebody pull me off this midget, cat is defenseless.

[Avante]

He did at least once apparently.

Yep, and we call it Huron.

[ChumpDumper]

Yep, and we call it Huron.Is that your next screen name?

[ohmwrecker]

How many times/ways can someone be wrong inside a couple hours? Dude, you suck at this, get another gig, ok?

Somebody pull me off this midget, cat is defenseless.

You're probably gonna have do more than stroke your own dick and wait for mystik to catch to convince anyone else that you are winning whatever this is . . . You are the only one who is thinks we are participating in a debate. I am just hanging around for entertainment value.

[ohmwrecker]

Is that your next screen name?

Chump understands metaphors.

[Avante]

You're probably gonna have do more than stroke your own dick and wait for mystik to catch to convince anyone else that you are winning whatever this is . . . You are the only one who is thinks we are participating in a debate. I am just hanging around for entertainment value.

Trust me, you have been very entertaining, I have never laughed so hard. You remind me of a banty rooster with a hardon, small but serious, and that's funny.

[ohmwrecker]

Trust me, you have been very entertaining, I have never laughed so hard. You remind me of a banty rooster with a hardon, small but serious, and that's funny.

I have been anything but serious here.

[silverblk mystix]

Help Chumpie - save me! I am getting shit on mercilessly here!!!!



:lmao

[ChumpDumper]

No need. When you trot out the shtick tribute and reassuring emoticons, it's as good as a white flag.

[ohmwrecker]

I'm a sycophantic nut hugger who laughs at my own jokes because no one else will and I really value my online friendship with Avante. We're Pals!

I can do it too. It's not that hard.

[AussieFanKurt]

with avante being the ultimate deflector of points, why even talk to him

[Avante]

with avante being the ultimate deflector of points, why even talk to him

Go shit in a bucket, ok?

[FuzzyLumpkins]

I believe in meiosis, combustion, surface tension, gravity, electron flow, weak nuclear force, calcification, respiration, evaporation, psychosis, conservation of mass/energy, strong nuclear force, and all manner of things. I do not believe in things that those truths invalidate.

[CuckingFunt]

I thought he said he was 6'2"

Did he also lie about that :lol

He said he was 6' 2". Then he confessed that he was only about 5' 8". Then he said that confession was a lie and that he was really 6' 2".

[Avante]

He said he was 6' 2". Then he confessed that he was only about 5' 8". Then he said that confession was a lie and that he was really 6' 2".

That was a case of too many too concerned with my size. While nobody seems to care about anyone elses dimensions. So I had some fun with it.....obviously.

High school sprinter/footballer, ran track for football. Too big to be much of a sprinter but it did help my football. Left HS at 245, after years and years of lifting....6-2 278. Large frame, big boned. Yep..a hunk.

[ChumpDumper]

That was a case of too many too concerned with my size. While nobody seems to care about anyone elses dimensions. So I had some fun with it.....obviously.

High school sprinter/footballer, ran track for football. Too big to be much of a sprinter but it did help my football. Left HS at 245, after years and years of lifting....6-2 278. Large frame, big boned. Yep..a hunk.The Fresno fatty.

[ohmwrecker]

6-2 278. Large frame, big boned. Yep..a hunk.

lol swoll

[RandomGuy]

...prove it.

I went out to mow my backyard, I couldn't get my mower to turnover, I yanked and yanked and yanked, it would sputter, sputter and sputter, so after at least 30 yanks it's...fuck it~~~ It's also about 150 degrees outside, sweat pouring off me, it's blinding me. So I go back in the house, whoever invented AC....thank you. I dunk my head in the sink, towel off and grab a beer, then look to the Heavens..

God, here's your chance, you want me you got me, all I need from You is to show me a sign, so when I go back out there if You start that mower for me I'm yours.

So I head back out into the Sahara, put down my ice cold Bud after one last long hit and look one more time to the Heavens as I approach the mower, I grab the.......BAM!!!!!!!!!..started right up and purred like a kitten. If that isn't proof of His existence what is?

Post hoc, ergo propter hoc.


Post hoc ergo propter hoc, Latin for "after this, therefore because of this", is a logical fallacy (of the questionable cause variety) that states "Since that event followed this one, that event must have been caused by this one."

Congratulations.

Is all your proof based on logical fallacies, or just this one thing?

[Avante]

Post hoc, ergo propter hoc.



Congratulations.

Is all your proof based on logical fallacies, or just this one thing?

God works in mysterious ways, today my mower wouldn't start again, it's not getting any gas. I knew better than to bug the big Guy again. So I loaded the mower into the back of my truck and headed off to some mower repair joint. When I got there I ran into a guy who owed me some money from football season, now I'm 50 bucks richer. God works in mysterious ways.

[Twisted_Dawg]

Invest a $1.98 and let God get on to helping all the suffering people in the world

http://img0.fastenal.com/productimages/5100156.jpg

[Avante]

Invest a $1.98 and let God get on to helping all the suffering people in the world

http://img0.fastenal.com/productimages/5100156.jpg

It's been years since I asked for His help, He came through then also. I think it's only fair He helps out once in awhile since this was His idea.

[DJR210]

I saw a Coral Snake when I was mowing my lawn a couple weeks ago...I ran like a bitch in the other direction.

Red and yella, kill a fella?

[Avante]

So there I am at the bank (mortgage) standing in line. There are 10 tellers and all have these little containers for suckers. Thing is only one actually has any suckers in it. I want a sucker, but what are the odds of me ending up at that teller? He read my mind, yep, I walked out of there with a sucker sticking out of my mouth and a big grin.

[Sportcamper]

So there I am at the bank (mortgage) standing in line. There are 10 tellers and all have these little containers for suckers. Thing is only one actually has any suckers in it. I want a sucker, but what are the odds of me ending up at that teller? He read my mind, yep, I walked out of there with a sucker sticking out of my mouth and a big grin.

Saaay Whaaat....:lmao

[mouse]

There's a huge bowl of suckers in this topic.

[BobaFett1]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Coral_009.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3c/Coral_009.jpg

[Avante]

All of you have or had grand parents. I',m betting they believed in God. And in their last days that belief comforted them. I also belive none of you.."God bah humbug"...have ever told those old folks they are stupid to believe in God....right?

I will never understand what anyone gains living a life without any faith in anything. Especially when they see so many others happy as hell believing in their God.