If The Sex Is Bad Do You End The Relationship?

[Koolaid_Man]

You ever feel like everyone around you seems to be climaxing and having orgasms all the time except you? I'm here to tell you that real-life sex can almost never measure up to the passion portrayed in the movies....sex in the real world isn't perfect and people don't talk about the fact that it's likely that in an odd position you'll fart or the love of your life could have smelly vagina or halitosis.

but what if the sex is just horrible...After you've tried talking and the sex still isn't working, what then? should you stay or go?

I would first recommend you try mutual masturbation...ladies be resolved to teach your man guide his hands and tongue around your flower...fellas get a banana and show your wife how you like it sucked...:lol still not working try a sex therapist..



Whenever you're considering a breakup or divorce you need to weigh every element of the relationship and not just the sex.... you can't have everything in life...If you have a wonderful relationship and you love each other and you have kids but the sex isn't great, maybe you can live with that. If his equipment isn't satisfying you may not have a choice...you should explain to him that he needs to improvise if possible...if all else fails it may be best to break up if you're not being satisfied...white guys need to learn how to be more passionate in bed...instead of spending all that time be racists maybe if they dedicated some of the time to learning to love things would change...

I vote to leave his ass :lol

[DeadlyDynasty]

I can hold on if she's a sugarmama

[silverblk mystix]

I have never been in a relationship with bad sex- that is what dating is for. If she wasn't great the first few times we had sex- because I held up my end- I cut her loose.Period.

[Koolaid_Man]

I have never been in a relationship with bad sex- that is what dating is for. If she wasn't great the first few times we had sex- because I held up my end- I cut her loose.Period.

so you're not into teaching? sometimes super skinny girls (as in boney) need to be taught..sometimes their bones get in the way...I just need enough to hold onto...but if she can blow I will work with her...

[Koolaid_Man]

I can hold on if she's a sugarmama

you be slanging that pipe right? that's the only way a you gone get a SM...

[DeadlyDynasty]

you be slanging that pipe right? that's the only way a you gone get a SM...
Of course I was back then...why else would a 36 y/o career woman be dating a 26 y/o paramedic?:lol

[Avante]

There is no relationship unless the sex is totally amazing. The three best lays I ever had I ended up marrying them. Actually got married for that reason that's why the first two didn't work out.

[silverblk mystix]

so you're not into teaching? sometimes super skinny girls (as in boney) need to be taught..sometimes their bones get in the way...I just need enough to hold onto...but if she can blow I will work with her...

If they had potential - I taught fast - a few dates and they improved - then I kept them around until the day they started teaching me things....:wow


Some were experts already...they were fun too...

[djohn2oo8]

Theire is no relationship unless the sex is totally amazing. The three best lays I ever had I ended up marrying them. Actually got married for that reason that's why the first two didn't work out.

Imagine that.

[cute_spursfan]

sex should not be the main focus in the relationship..........................

[silverblk mystix]

sex should not be the main focus in the relationship..........................


You are seriously misinformed lol.

[cute_spursfan]

You are seriously misinformed lol.

so, sex is placed above love,trust,support, and any other componant that makes a relationship?

[djohn2oo8]

You are seriously misinformed lol.

I don't know how they do it in prison, but in the real world, that's called being fuck buddies. Though I could see how it could be construed as a relationship in Prison. AMIRITE??

[djohn2oo8]

so, sex is placed above love,trust,support, and any other componant that makes a relationship?

Nope.

[silverblk mystix]

so, sex is placed above love,trust,support, and any other componant that makes a relationship?


Yes.

If you want a successful relationship...if what you want is this;

Love : You will discover that what people label "love" is just a code word to get what they want- be it security, sex, material things, etc...


Trust: Is a code word that people use to blame others when they don't get what they want.


Support = "Do what I say or I will punish myself until you feel bad about it"


You don't really want the truth because any man in here - if he is honest - will say - yes - SEX first and if no SEX- then the rest is bullshit.

Don't ask no questions and I won't tell you no lies....lol.

[johnsmith]

Yes.

If you want a successful relationship....

LOL!!!!!

I sure hope no one listens to you.

[DeadlyDynasty]

Yes and No, CSF. If the sex is unspectacular than it's human nature to think or fantasize about other people. Sometimes those thoughts manifest themselves into actually cheating. People have needs.

[HarlemHeat37]

He has a point, though, tbh..

All of that is important, obviously, but if you lack sex, cheating will inevitably occur, tbh..

From my experience, it's easier to regulate a woman with a good fuck + inconsistent love and trust, rather than strong love and trust with a shitty sex life..

[silverblk mystix]

He has a point, though, tbh..

All of that is important, obviously, but if you lack sex, cheating will inevitably occur, tbh..

From my experience, it's easier to regulate a woman with a good fuck + inconsistent love and trust, rather than strong love and trust with a shitty sex life..

yes.


And how long would any man stay....for example...let us say he finds a girl who looks like a supermodel, acts like mother theresa - but doesn't want to have sex?

Only an idiot would stay. Give me an avg girl who wants sex rather than a supermodel who doesn't want sex.

[SupremeGuy]

I don't understand why you'd even be with someone if the sex is so bad...

[silverblk mystix]

LOL!!!!!

I sure hope no one listens to you.

If you are honest and if you like sex (I can't say if you like women - because - well that is your business) but anyhoo - if you have a significant other and you are having sex - believe you me - you are paying for it. Dearly.

[FuzzyLumpkins]

If the sex is bad then what is the point?

I get there is some notion of tradition but I have had all manner of friends and roommates over the years who are women. If I don't want to fornicate then she isn't going to be my girlfriend. If I really love her then she can be my friend for life. It's the same thing but now I can go find someone I do want to sleep with.

Don't get me started on marriage: God's license to bang.

[cute_spursfan]

Yes.

If you want a successful relationship...if what you want is this;

Love : You will discover that what people label "love" is just a code word to get what they want- be it security, sex, material things, etc...


Trust: Is a code word that people use to blame others when they don't get what they want.


Support = "Do what I say or I will punish myself until you feel bad about it"


You don't really want the truth because any man in here - if he is honest - will say - yes - SEX first and if no SEX- then the rest is bullshit.

Don't ask no questions and I won't tell you no lies....lol.

seems like you have a hardened heart over love. or @ the very least, the true meaning of love!!!!
i hope you find your very own cinderella someday

[HarlemHeat37]

Can 2 people truly love each other without a strong sexual connection, though?..

I've been in relationships where the lust eventually fizzled and I thought I loved those girls, but I got over them relatively quickly after the break-up..

My ex and I love each other and we still fuck once a week or every 2nd week(we had sex 3-4 times a week when we were officially together) and the sex has actually progressively improved, surprisingly..I love her to death, too, tbh, but I doubt either of us would feel as strongly if we couldn't wear each other out:lol..

[cute_spursfan]

^^ ok but long-term speaking, when you cant get your shit up anymore, sex jumps out the window...#justsayin boo boo

[Koolaid_Man]

Can 2 people truly love each other without a strong sexual connection, though?..

I've been in relationships where the lust eventually fizzled and I thought I loved those girls, but I got over them relatively quickly after the break-up..

My ex and I love each other and we still fuck once a week or every 2nd week(we had sex 3-4 times a week when we were officially together) and the sex has actually progressively improved, surprisingly..I love her to death, too, tbh, but I doubt either of us would feel as strongly if we couldn't wear each other out:lol..

Listen..I think a person can cheat and truly love the other person...but if you a guy you gotta find a way to rock that pussy...mainly with your dick if you cant then you better be a dam good ass and pussy eater....

[Koolaid_Man]

He has a point, though, tbh..

All of that is important, obviously, but if you lack sex, cheating will inevitably occur, tbh..

From my experience, it's easier to regulate a woman with a good fuck + inconsistent love and trust, rather than strong love and trust with a shitty sex life..


excellent analysis...

[Koolaid_Man]

^^ ok but long-term speaking, when you cant get your shit up anymore, sex jumps out the window...#justsayin boo boo

excellent analysis

[DeadlyDynasty]

seems like you have a hardened heart over love. or @ the very least, the true meaning of love!!!!
i hope you find your very own cinderella someday
How old are you? I'm not inquiring in a CubanSucks kinda way, just kind of curious b/c you seem to be a scoach naive about it.

[djohn2oo8]

Ehh. If I'm in a relationship with her and love her and all that, then we can work it out. If we're just fuck buddies, and the first one or two times she is bad at it, she won't get a call back.

[Koolaid_Man]

Upon my HS graduation one of my presents from my parents was the hook-up on a cruise with my girlfriend...this vacation opened my eyes to serious relationship issues that can occur...while on the cruise we meet a group of white people from NYC...didn't know them but sat a table with them...they befriended us as this lone interracial couple I suppose....I remember it vividly...they were 3 couples all the men claimed they were big shot Wall Street execs...and asked me my profession..I told them I was off to college soon and so on and so forth....they asked if they could hang out with us and do some excursions and I was ok with it...then one day at the dinner table one of the guys start talking sex....so this fucking clown with his wife right at the table in front of everyone says :"I love my wife but I can't please her" :lmao and I did everything in my power not to fucking choke on my food...so I gather myself and ask "why" whats the problem...and he says I get tired my stomach hurts and I give out....:lmao I couldn't hold it any longer I was dam near on the floor and my girl kicked me to stop...so I stopped and his friends was like yeah he has a hard time but he's trying...and his wife was just sitting there holding his hand...and looking at me...they trip his wife acted like she wanted to fuck me but never asked...I suspect she was nervous...but I didn't pursue it...we exchanged email addresses but I've never heard from them...I suspect they've long since divorced....but it was sad...dude looked visibly shaken that he couldn't please her and he seemed like a real cool guy too...that was a crazy experience for a young Kool...

[silverblk mystix]

seems like you have a hardened heart over love. or @ the very least, the true meaning of love!!!!
i hope you find your very own cinderella someday

Sorry, to burst your bubble - but I've got news for you....

The true meaning of love is to be in a state of NON-delusion....where things are what they are...here are a few non-delusional relationship facts;

That fuzzy feeling you call "falling in love" "he makes me feel so happy" "she gives me goose bumps" "he's THE one!"
Is nothing but pure desire- pure sexual desire - masquerading as "love" That is it. Get rid of the delusion and be honest and it is there - pure desire. But we like to lie to ourselves. "True love - is just admitting that this "feeling" is just sex. Guys admit this to themselves first. This is part of the reason guys can have sex "without strings" easier than women - because we admit it is lust - just sex- whereas a woman needs to lie to herself to feel justified and not feel like a "slut" which society has programmed her to feel like if she has sex without strings/emotions.

This is your TRUE meaning of love. :lol

[cute_spursfan]

How old are you? I'm not inquiring in a CubanSucks (http://www.spurstalk.com/forums/member.php?u=10874) kinda way, just kind of curious b/c you seem to be a scoach naive about it.

im 23..

[DeadlyDynasty]

im 23..
False alarm, CubanSucks.

I'm 67, so forgive my bitterness about the subject. You single?

[Koolaid_Man]

False alarm, CubanSucks (http://www.spurstalk.com/forums/member.php?u=10874).

I'm 67, so forgive my bitterness about the subject. You single?

WTF

[cute_spursfan]

Sorry, to burst your bubble - but I've got news for you....

The true meaning of love is to be in a state of NON-delusion....where things are what they are...here are a few non-delusional relationship facts;

That fuzzy feeling you call "falling in love" "he makes me feel so happy" "she gives me goose bumps" "he's THE one!"
Is nothing but pure desire- pure sexual desire - masquerading as "love" That is it. Get rid of the delusion and be honest and it is there - pure desire. But we like to lie to ourselves. "True love - is just admitting that this "feeling" is just sex. Guys admit this to themselves first. This is part of the reason guys can have sex "without strings" easier than women - because we admit it is lust - just sex- whereas a woman needs to lie to herself to feel justified and not feel like a "slut" which society has programmed her to feel like if she has sex without strings/emotions.

This is your TRUE meaning of love. :lol

:lol thanks for the chuckle.
i think you're wrong, frankly.
but, i guess after so many break-ups and heartaches, one must look at love
from a different angle in order to pacify their hurt ...

[cute_spursfan]

False alarm, CubanSucks (http://www.spurstalk.com/forums/member.php?u=10874).

I'm 67, so forgive my bitterness about the subject. You single?
you bet'cha i am.

[djohn2oo8]

:lol thanks for the chuckle.
i think you're wrong, frankly.
but, i guess after so many break-ups and heartaches, one must look at love
from a different angle in order to pacify their hurt ...

Don't listen to him. He's a corrections officer.

[Koolaid_Man]

im 23..

fresh meat on da line...plus I eat sushi :lol

[AussieFanKurt]

Without a doubt.. sex has to be good or its a waste of time really. It is an important part, extremely important

[silverblk mystix]

:lol thanks for the chuckle.
i think you're wrong, frankly.
but, i guess after so many break-ups and heartaches, one must look at love
from a different angle in order to pacify their hurt ...

You got it all wrong!

When you see "love" non-delusionally - it improves everything. You can be honest and stop playing games. You and your "love" understand that this is a true relationship where you do things without camouflaging them and labeling them as some kind of "love" "trust" "devotion" "support" etc...

You say to your partner, "I leave you free to follow your inclinations, free to live your life as you please"

And your partner says the exact same thing to you...

Both are free to do as they wish and as they see fit.

Of course- you have to take a long time to get to know this person BEFORE you arrive at that and if you don't take that time...then you live with the consequences.

Been happily married 11 years and see things non-delusionally and so does she.

[CuckingFunt]

sex should not be the main focus in the relationship..........................

It probably shouldn't be the only focus, but sexual compatibility is up there with trust, honesty, respect, communication, and all that other stuff as one of the most important aspects of a successful relationship. If you care about the person you're with, both parties should attempt to make the sex better. If the bad sex is the result of something that can't be solved -- two people who have massively different likes or incompatible dislikes or whatever -- and you'll never find a compromise that works for both people, or if a non-monogamous sex life isn't an option, best to walk away before things get too serious. If bad sex isn't an issue right away, it will be at some point.

[Rogue]

Sex and love are two different things. You can love someone more than you own life without any sex involved. It's pure admiration of someone's beauty and personality. Sex is kind of like a college degree that opens the door for you, but it's not always necessary for someone to be successful in his/her career (like my goddess Scarlett)

[Avante]

Sex is the glue that holds it all together. There can be $$$$ problems, problems at work, things that are bothering you. Then after a great sexual encounter with the one you love al those problems just seem to evaporate, for awhile anyway, because after great sex everything is so serene and good. You feel lucky to be alive.

[Avante]

Sex and love are two different things. You can love someone more than you own life without any sex involved. It's pure admiration of someone's beauty and personality. Sex is kind of like a college degree that opens the door for you, but it's not always necessary for someone to be successful in his/her career (like my goddess Scarlett)

Total 100% absolute...bullshit~~~~~~~

[Rogue]

Sex is the glue that holds it all together. There can be $$$$ problems, problems at work, things that are bothering you. Then after a great sexual encounter with the one you love al those problems just seem to evaporate, for awhile anyway, because after great sex everything is so serene and good. You feel lucky to be alive.
Sex is the glue yeah, good metaphor. It helps strengthen the relationship but that ain't the only thing, because i can bind two things together with a string or something else. Sex is a condiment to relationship but it ain't something that a longterm relationship can depend on imho. there will be less and less fun in sex as you and your spouse grow older, and her beauty will fade away too. My point is that you don't need to have sex or any carnal pleasure to love someone. Pure love doesn't require no condition, it comes all naturally and genuinely.

[Koolaid_Man]

you cats getting deep in here

[Koolaid_Man]

It probably shouldn't be the only focus, but sexual compatibility is up there with trust, honesty, respect, communication, and all that other stuff as one of the most important aspects of a successful relationship. If you care about the person you're with, both parties should attempt to make the sex better. If the bad sex is the result of something that can't be solved -- two people who have massively different likes or incompatible dislikes or whatever -- and you'll never find a compromise that works for both people, or if a non-monogamous sex life isn't an option, best to walk away before things get too serious. If bad sex isn't an issue right away, it will be at some point.

what if I liked Oral sex and you don't but the vaginal sex is really great...then what? a deal breaker?

[Spur-Addict]

If a woman is bad at oral, and shows no signs of improvement, then it is unlikely to go far unless her body is immaculate. I do 90% of the work during sex anyways, so I only ask of one thing, great oral.

[Riddler]

Total 100% absolute...bullshit~~~~~~~

Now I see why you got divorced TWICE.

[mrsmaalox]

If it's a sex only relationship then, yes, I've ended it-----but I don't do those any more. In an emotional relationship I've never had bad sex, because it's, well, emotional.

[silverblk mystix]

If it's a sex only relationship then, yes, I've ended it-----but I don't do those any more. In an emotional relationship I've never had bad sex, because it's, well, emotional.


Not for the guy...

[cute_spursfan]

well, damn! apparently i dont know a damn thing 'bout the love or sex

:lol

[cute_spursfan]

If a woman is bad at oral, and shows no signs of improvement, then it is unlikely to go far unless her body is immaculate. I do 90% of the work during sex anyways, so I only ask of one thing, great oral.
can great oral substitute for bad sex???

[silverblk mystix]

can great oral substitute for bad sex???

Great oral --- is --- great sex...:lol

[lebomb]

Its all about how well you toss her salad...........

[Spur-Addict]

can great oral substitute for bad sex???

I define bad sex, as bad oral. As I do everything else. I am very aggressive sexually. I am not the sort of guy who has expectations of a woman "getting on top", or "putting on a show". I prefer to create the show, so that removes issues of complacency. I feed off genuine positive sexual reaction (and in generating those reactions), and in that way, there is no bad sex unless I have no motivation.

Certainly in the process of sex they are compelled through genuine enjoyment to be more active, but I do not judge that action. But to answer your question in the sense that you are asking, yes. I have a much better orgasm by way of great oral sex in comparison to standard penetration.

[CuckingFunt]

But to answer your question in the sense that you are asking, yes. I have a much better orgasm by way of great oral sex in comparison to standard penetration.

Could be 'cause you're not letting the girl do anything during sex.

[I. Hustle]

Sex is the glue that holds it all together. There can be $$$$ problems, problems at work, things that are bothering you. Then after a great sexual encounter with the one you love al those problems just seem to evaporate, for awhile anyway, because after great sex everything is so serene and good. You feel lucky to be alive.

http://www.essence.com/sites/default/files/images/2012/12/01/happy-couple-24_400x295_89.jpg

[Spur-Addict]

Could be 'cause you're not letting the girl do anything during sex.

Certainly in the process of sex they are compelled through genuine enjoyment to be more active, but I do not judge that action. In these times I have ejaculated. Also, there have been times when I have done absolutely nothing but lay there and let her ride way to bliss. But whenever I have ejaculated due to action of my partner outside of oral, it has not been superior to the physical reaction to oral. It is not due to me restricting their ability. Perhaps I haven't encountered someone who was good enough to generate that sort of physical reaction. I have not ruled that out.

[mrsmaalox]

Not for the guy...

I don't think that's necessarily true all the time. I'm not talking about separating sex and love----I'm perfectly capable of doing that. What I mean is that I need just a little more than the possibility of sex to make me want to be with someone; they need to have some qualities that attract me (smile, sense of humor, intelligence, attentiveness to me). That is what I consider "emotional". I have to at least already like someone before I have sex with them and I think many guys feel the same way.

[I. Hustle]

I don't think that's necessarily true all the time. I'm not talking about separating sex and love----I'm perfectly capable of doing that. What I mean is that I need just a little more than the possibility of sex to make me want to be with someone; they need to have some qualities that attract me (smile, sense of humor, intelligence, attentiveness to me). That is what I consider "emotional". I have to at least already like someone before I have sex with them and I think many guys feel the same way.

I'm married so my brain is now wired to believe this way. HOWEVER, before the Hustle got married... there were only a few qualities that I had to have. Is the ass nice? Does she have a nice rack? Is she purty? Does she want my junk? You know, just the meaningful qualities.

[CuckingFunt]

I have to genuinely like, respect, trust, feel comfortable, and be physically attracted to someone before I sleep with them. I do not have to be in love with them.

I do, however, have to enjoy sleeping with someone in order to be truly in love with them. I can love people and care for them deeply without there being physical chemistry. I cannot be in love with someone or commit myself to a relationship if it's lacking.

[silverblk mystix]

I don't think that's necessarily true all the time. I'm not talking about separating sex and love----I'm perfectly capable of doing that. What I mean is that I need just a little more than the possibility of sex to make me want to be with someone; they need to have some qualities that attract me (smile, sense of humor, intelligence, attentiveness to me). That is what I consider "emotional". I have to at least already like someone before I have sex with them and I think many guys feel the same way.

So you agree that guys are the opposite...now I ain't saying guys are correct in doing this - nor am I saying that this is something that guys should be proud of -

but just look at the post after yours- by Hustle -

this is what I'm saying - for a guy - we can look at sex and enjoy it - even if there is no love and other emotional baggage - it is ONLY sex. If the woman gets all wrapped up in these "emotional" demands...guys will tell her whatever she wants to hear...but it is only to get what they want.

I will go as far as to say - a guy will have sex with a woman he HATES -- if she is hot enough - and I doubt seriously that a woman would do the same.

Just to clarify - I am talking about men here - not these e -gang metrosexuals that hang out here and pretend to speak for men - those are another "caliber" of men. :lol

[silverblk mystix]

I'm married so my brain is now wired to believe this way. HOWEVER, before the Hustle got married... there were only a few qualities that I had to have. Is the ass nice? Does she have a nice rack? Is she purty? Does she want my junk? You know, just the meaningful qualities.

Very true post here.

[Koolaid_Man]

I have to genuinely like, respect, trust, feel comfortable, and be physically attracted to someone before I sleep with them. I do not have to be in love with them.

I do, however, have to enjoy sleeping with someone in order to be truly in love with them. I can love people and care for them deeply without there being physical chemistry. I cannot be in love with someone or commit myself to a relationship if it's lacking.


in all honesty I don't need to sleep with you..I just wanna FUCK

[CuckingFunt]

in all honesty I don't need to sleep with you..I just wanna FUCK

In all honesty, neither is going to happen. So you might as well move on to a new fixation.