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View Full Version : NBA: The Team With the Best Drugs Wins



PlayNando
07-27-2013, 02:06 AM
From 2003-2007, the San Antonio Spurs medical staff dominated the competition, developing amazing drugs and clinical procedures to harness and enhance the power of the athlete. New drugs and genetic therapies were developed to cure injuries, boost muscle mass, and increase stamina.

However, other teams's medical staffs began to catch up and, as a result, the Spurs started to sink behind, until RC started to really dole out the money for high-tech doctors and geneticists in 2010. This resulted in the 2011 regular season title and the 2012 WCF appearance and culminated with the 2013 NBA Finals Appearance with a rejuvenated Tim Duncan.

New anti-aging drugs were developed and specifically encoded in order to match Tim Duncan's genetic profile. In real years, Duncan is 37, but medical science has decreased his biological age to 29.

Unfortunately, the Heat have the best medical staff in the NBA these days. Miami is often known as the Steroid Capital of the United States. Immense quantities of steroids are generated each day for the Heat players and other drugs are also ingested. The Heat medical staff have developed drugs which dramatically increase muscle mass in their players, particularly LeBron James and Dwayne Wade. We can see the results with D-Wade's jaw and LeBron's steroid head and forehead. The Heat have created the first superplayer of our day in LeBron James as he continues to morph into a beast and a medical experiment in action.

The times ahead will be interesting. Can the Spurs medical staff continue to de-age Tim Duncan? How good can the Heat medical staff make LeBron?

LeBron is the first real superstar that is almost purely the result of medical science. That's not to say that Kobe, etc. didn't benefit from rampant PED abuse, but they would have been great players, regardless. LeBron thrives off of his artificial muscles and his beastly body of muscle.

Interesting times lie ahead.

Bynumite
07-27-2013, 02:23 AM
No drug in the world can save Nando de Scrub.

PlayNando
07-27-2013, 02:53 AM
No drug in the world can save Nando de Scrub.
Aw, that hurt. :(

Waaaaaaaaa................

GTFO.

Vash StampedE
07-27-2013, 04:15 AM
I don't buy that because if that's so, you should have gotten playing minutes last season. So quit smoking those.

Thread
07-27-2013, 05:23 AM
Can the Spurs medical staff continue to de-age Tim Duncan?

Prescribe an aspirin & a layup drill.

Rogue
07-27-2013, 07:54 AM
There's no elixir that could cure the TOSB syndrome imho.

You're a trend setter, you set the trend.

PlayNando
07-27-2013, 01:31 PM
So much butthurt in this thread, tbh, per par. Welcome to Spurstalk.