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Calispursfan11
08-16-2013, 09:35 AM
After years of cookie-cutter fundamentals, there finally emerged a new and intriguing type of NBA player, the African born specimen. Bred from deep within the forests of Africa and not necessarily gifted with basketball knowledge or fundamentals, but effective on primal rage and physical superiority alone, this new type of player regularly wreaked havoc upon his less physically gifted opponents. With this in mind, I have been thinking, who are the top NBA spearchuckers of all time? I have listed my top 5 below.

1. Hakeem Olajuwon - Not just the greatest spearchucker of all time but easily within the top 5 players of all time, the Dream is the best African born player to ever suit up.

http://muslimathlete.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/hakeem-olajuwon.jpg

2. Dikembe Mutombo - often questioned about his actual age, Mutombo remained an effective shot blocker until his last days as an NBA player.

http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2009/0422/nba_g_mutombo_400.jpg

3. Steve Nash - This NBA talent picked up his point guard agility from his days running free as a feral child and swinging from vine to vine in the rain forests to escape South African predators.

http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images_root/slides/photos/002/069/671/144637541_7d913fb41c_display_image.jpg?1332863094

4. Manute Bol - His astounding size made him a god among men on the Court just by standing there and his three point shot was impeccable.

http://www.globalwhisperer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/bolhospitalized2.jpg


5. Serge Ibaka - the definition of African physical superiority is undoubtedly able to chuck spears two to three times as far as his American born counterparts.

http://www.athlebrities.com/post-images/athlebrities/2011/08/serge_ibaka_athlebrities_chairty.jpg

monosylab1k
08-16-2013, 09:45 AM
I, for one, am deeply shocked and offended.

Spur-Addict
08-16-2013, 09:53 AM
Most of the league is filled with Africans, I don't know what the OP is talking about.

Calispursfan11
08-16-2013, 09:54 AM
I, for one, am deeply shocked and offended.

Mono, you know you appreciated the effort brah.

irishock
08-16-2013, 09:54 AM
Steve is #2 tbh

Calispursfan11
08-16-2013, 09:54 AM
Most of the league is filled with Africans, I don't know what the OP is talking about.

Not to be difficult brah, but I am talking "African Born" as in the motherland tbh.

monosylab1k
08-16-2013, 09:59 AM
tbh gotta get the great DeSagana Diop in there. Dominated the older, gayer, less African Tim Duncan in that Game 7 OT imho.

DMC
08-16-2013, 10:01 AM
Op needs to be more acidic and racist. There's no way he can ever "fit in" like he's struggling too hard to do without more overt racism. He should start an "alpha male" thread as well, and continue being totally original.

spurraider21
08-16-2013, 11:51 AM
DMC needs to make a dramatic thread about how he's leaving Spurstalk every night before he shuts off his computer

Calispursfan11
08-16-2013, 02:51 PM
tbh gotta get the great DeSagana Diop in there. Dominated the older, gayer, less African Tim Duncan in that Game 7 OT imho.

I forgot about Diop. He is definitely honorable mention and makes it into the top 5 if I don't include Nash but I am going with African born, not skin color so Desegna's gotta settle for Honorable Mention.

http://www.nba.com/bobcats/photos/100808_diop_main.jpg

Calispursfan11
08-16-2013, 02:53 PM
Steve is #2 tbh

You have an argument here, but if we're basing it somewhat upon the amount of time spent in Africa, then Nash doesn't quite cut number 2...

Calispursfan11
08-16-2013, 02:54 PM
DMC needs to make a dramatic thread about how he's leaving Spurstalk every night before he shuts off his computer

Haha. I lol'd

AchillesHeel
08-16-2013, 02:55 PM
You have an argument here, but if we're basing it somewhat upon the amount of time spent in Africa, then Nash doesn't quite cut number 2...

Dirk has spent more time in africa, tbh. He should be listed.

elmanutres
08-16-2013, 02:55 PM
no wonder spurstalk can't be taken seriously. But god dam that was funny 5/5

Calispursfan11
08-16-2013, 03:02 PM
Dirk has spent more time in africa, tbh. He should be listed.

By jove Heel, you're right!

http://thebiglead.fantasysportsven.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/dirk-nowitzki-married-in-africa.jpg

DMC
08-16-2013, 07:42 PM
DMC needs to make a dramatic thread about how he's leaving Spurstalk every night before he shuts off his computer

At least it wouldn't be unoriginal.

JoeTait75
08-16-2013, 07:45 PM
tbh gotta get the great DeSagana Diop in there. Dominated the older, gayer, less African Tim Duncan in that Game 7 OT imho.

My boi. Had a game when he was in Cleveland in which he outplayed Pao Gasol. From then on he was "the Gasol stopper."

JoeTait75
08-16-2013, 07:48 PM
Top 5 Africans, IMO:

1.) P.W. Botha

2.) Gary Player

3.) The bad guy from Lethal Weapon II

4.) The white South African maitre 'd at Boma in Disney World (I think his name was Hendrik or some shit)

5.) Ian Smith

ShowtimeFan
08-16-2013, 08:03 PM
Ah, memories of getting dunked on by Diop my senior year of HS. Doesn't help when at 6'3", I was the tallest guy on my team.

lefty
08-16-2013, 08:17 PM
RIP Manute

Rogue
08-17-2013, 01:11 AM
Hamady N'Diaye also deserves a nomination here if Dessagana "Bill Russell" Diop does. N'Diaye still has a lot to prove but he's already a beast in China's basketball league, a defensive freak averaging 10+ rebounds plus 3+ blocks in limited time (36 min at most, because he has to sit out for an entire quarter every match, due to league's rules). Dude's still young and I wouldn't be surprised if he makes a strong return to the NBA like Birdman did. Dude's the best defensive big in chinese league tbh.

Calispursfan11
08-17-2013, 08:33 PM
Tbh guys, there is no denying that Africa has produced some of the most brilliant basketball talent in the league throughout NBA history. This densely populated continent deserves props. Without his experience as a feral toddler, Nash would lack the dexterity to compete in this league, especially with the natural disadvantages that come with being white tbh. He has no one but mother Africa to thank for this gift. God bless the homeland.

Venti Quattro
08-17-2013, 09:29 PM
Djimon Hounsou should be in this list. He was fantastic in Blood Diamonds.

TDMVPDPOY
08-18-2013, 01:54 AM
no luol deng?

lefty
08-18-2013, 04:12 AM
This hungry Nigerian imo is the GOAT ... screw Hakeem



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxr7s-mttBw

Calispursfan11
08-18-2013, 09:34 AM
no luol deng?

Absolutely should be on there. Forgot about the British African sensation tbh.

Calispursfan11
08-18-2013, 09:38 AM
Djimon Hounsou should be in this list. He was fantastic in Blood Diamonds.

I also liked Digimon in Gladiator and the triumphant slave revolt flick Amistad.

Rogue
08-18-2013, 08:59 PM
Africa aint just niggas' homeland imho. Our common ancestors originated from Africa so that continent is home to us all in this sense.

Calispursfan11
08-19-2013, 02:43 PM
Africa aint just niggas' homeland imho. Our common ancestors originated from Africa so that continent is home to us all in this sense.

This is true Rogue, as confirmed in the crowning achievement "Tomb Raider: Cradle of Life" featuring Angelina Jolie's natural breasts prior to the mastectomy and implants. Peace my nigga.

Lincoln
08-19-2013, 05:02 PM
You're trying to hard to fit in.

Rogue
08-19-2013, 05:22 PM
Lincoln mah nigga, you checked the latest posts in your Hey Thread thread yet?