Koolaid_Man
12-07-2013, 01:39 PM
:lmao I thoroughly thoroughly enjoyed reading this: :toast (and you will too)
Mostly, though? The issue with the Spurs is San Antonio, Texas. What do you know about San Antonio? Big city? Pretty big. Nice city? Well, it built a huge outdoor mall along its biggest ditch, planted a 750-foot phallus in the '60s, and welcomes a lot of people to an old stone building where a couple of hundred Texans died a couple of hundred years ago. Who are the people there? What are their politics? I mean, they're Texan, for what that's worth. But they seem somehow more upright than other urban Texans — closer to the land, maybe, less prone to fits of misdirected world domination. Austin has burnt orange and SXSW; Houston has outer space and Enron and the Bush clan; Dallas has Dallas. San Antonio doesn't even have a decent stereotype to its name. If someone told a San Antonio joke, you wouldn't get it.
:lmao
San Antonio leads the parade of cities about which no one outside a two-state radius will ever bother to form much of an opinion. Jacksonville. Minneapolis. If you put the 1996 Bulls in Sacramento, Clyde Drexler jerseys would've outsold Jordan's.
:lol
There's no national San Antonio narrative, so the Spurs have to carry it all. The last guy they employed who wanted any part of that job was Dennis Rodman, until Pop ran him off (http://www.reddit.com/r/NBASpurs/comments/16j8tx/a_chapter_from_dennis_rodmans_book_on_his_time_in/) to win titles in Chicago — an improvement, Rodman wrote, over "that white-ass, conservative-ass city" in south Texas.
:lmao
If the Spurs win this year, I imagine their fans will celebrate responsibly with a couple of Bud Limes and Taco Cabana take-out, then get up the next day and drive to work and tell each other, gosh, this one just might be the most special yet. And the great thing is, because none of the rest of us really care to share it, they can keep it all for themselves.
http://deadspin.com/no-one-notices-the-spurs-because-no-one-notices-san-ant-512104565
Mostly, though? The issue with the Spurs is San Antonio, Texas. What do you know about San Antonio? Big city? Pretty big. Nice city? Well, it built a huge outdoor mall along its biggest ditch, planted a 750-foot phallus in the '60s, and welcomes a lot of people to an old stone building where a couple of hundred Texans died a couple of hundred years ago. Who are the people there? What are their politics? I mean, they're Texan, for what that's worth. But they seem somehow more upright than other urban Texans — closer to the land, maybe, less prone to fits of misdirected world domination. Austin has burnt orange and SXSW; Houston has outer space and Enron and the Bush clan; Dallas has Dallas. San Antonio doesn't even have a decent stereotype to its name. If someone told a San Antonio joke, you wouldn't get it.
:lmao
San Antonio leads the parade of cities about which no one outside a two-state radius will ever bother to form much of an opinion. Jacksonville. Minneapolis. If you put the 1996 Bulls in Sacramento, Clyde Drexler jerseys would've outsold Jordan's.
:lol
There's no national San Antonio narrative, so the Spurs have to carry it all. The last guy they employed who wanted any part of that job was Dennis Rodman, until Pop ran him off (http://www.reddit.com/r/NBASpurs/comments/16j8tx/a_chapter_from_dennis_rodmans_book_on_his_time_in/) to win titles in Chicago — an improvement, Rodman wrote, over "that white-ass, conservative-ass city" in south Texas.
:lmao
If the Spurs win this year, I imagine their fans will celebrate responsibly with a couple of Bud Limes and Taco Cabana take-out, then get up the next day and drive to work and tell each other, gosh, this one just might be the most special yet. And the great thing is, because none of the rest of us really care to share it, they can keep it all for themselves.
http://deadspin.com/no-one-notices-the-spurs-because-no-one-notices-san-ant-512104565