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lefty
12-16-2013, 03:32 AM
Dallas Cowboys Release Jerry Jones

SPORTS NEWS (http://www.theonion.com/features/sports-news/) • Ecstasy Of Defeat (http://www.theonion.com/channels/ecstasy-of-defeat/) • Sports (http://www.theonion.com/channels/sports/) • Football (http://www.theonion.com/channels/football/) • ISSUE 45•39 (http://www.theonion.com/issue/4539/) • Sep 24, 2009
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IRVING, TEXAS—In an attempt to cut the franchise's losses and "move forward in a positive direction," the Dallas Cowboys severed ties with controversial owner Jerry Jones Monday, ending their tumultuous 20-year relationship with the divisive figure.
According to sources within the Cowboys organization, the decision to release Jones was influenced by the lack of any playoff victories in more than 12 years, the owner's distracting sideline antics, and his selfish, "me first" attitude, which many said was having a cancerous effect on the clubhouse.
"We value Jerry's contributions to the Cowboys over the past two decades, but it has become painfully clear that we just don't share the same priorities," Cowboys public relations director Richard Dalrymple said. "This wasn't an easy choice to make, but we're confident it is a decision that can only make our team better."
"Losing to our NFC East rivals the Giants in our brand-new stadium was really the last straw," added Dalrymple, who said Jones "insisted" that the $1.2 billion facility would solve all of the team's problems. "The Cowboys need to focus on winning, and we can't do that with Jerry's incessant ego-boosting publicity stunts, or this opulent sports venue that's devoted more to himself than achieving postseason success."
Cowboys officials called Jones Sunday night to inform him he was being cut from the team, ordering the 66-year-old owner to clean out his luxury box and remove his personal belongings from the premises immediately. Jones, who was reportedly stunned to be removed from his ownership duties, issued a statement on his website thanking himself for all his hard work and years of service.
"Well, damn, looks like the 'Boys couldn't handle Double J anymore," the blog post read in part. "I'll never forget my time in the Big D, and how I single-handedly won three Super Bowls. Don't worry, Jerry Jones will land on his feet somewhere, and when he does, Dallas better watch out."
Jones' questionable conduct on and off the field almost certainly played a role in sealing the troubled owner's fate. Although some members of the Cowboys' management have reportedly contemplated Jones' termination for the past several years, sources said his recent association with known criminals as well as a perceived lack of character and poor leadership qualities provided ample reasons for his release.
Ultimately, team officials said that Jones had become an embarrassment to the storied franchise.
"Between the opportunistic condemnations of game plans, the uninformed evaluations of draftees, and the paranoid delusions that players and coordinators were scheming against him, it's no wonder the Cowboys have had enough," NFL Today commentator Boomer Esiason said. "Maybe his absence will finally give the team a chance to start living up to its full potential."
"Just watching the Cowboys practice without Jones leering at them, you can tell that morale has already greatly improved," Esiason continued. "They seem so loose and relaxed and their faces are just lighting up with smiles. This is the first time Tony Romo has had fun since he put on the Cowboys uniform."
Former Cowboys head coach and Fox Sports analyst Jimmy Johnson speculated that the team's real motivation for cutting Jones was that the aging owner, who turns 67 in October, is well past his prime and would have continued to cost the ball club too much money.
"His skills have really diminished the past few years, and he just can't make the moves that he used to," said Johnson, adding that the rest of the NFL was passing Jones by every day. "When you get older you start to slow down, and as you try to compensate, you wind up making poor decisions."
"He had to eat more than $9 million dollars of salary cap just to get rid of Terrell Owens," Johnson added. "In this economy? What was he thinking?"
Though his publicist would not say whether the former Cowboys owner was entertaining offers from any other teams, an anonymous NFL source told reporters that, immediately after Jones cleared waivers Tuesday, Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis offered him a record-setting three-year $120 million deal

bus driver
12-16-2013, 09:23 AM
Now if they can only get rid of romo; the world will be right again



ugh; this whole season is a nightmare or this article is a great dream

Spur-Addict
12-16-2013, 10:09 AM
"Ecstasy of defeat" :lol

AchillesHeel
12-16-2013, 11:22 AM
should have removed the original date of the article before posting it, tbh

lefty
12-16-2013, 11:25 AM
^
Yes yes

td4mvp2k
12-16-2013, 12:48 PM
should have removed the original date of the article before posting it, tbhlol

Trainwreck2100
12-16-2013, 01:33 PM
should have removed the original date of the article before posting it, tbh

simply reading the article tells you it's old as shit

Killakobe81
12-16-2013, 01:36 PM
Maaaan ... last night was hard loss to take.
Ifi was a bandwaggonner I surely would jump off.
We need to get some REAL young defenders in house.
No more large extension for players over 30 ...

ThaBigFundamental21
12-16-2013, 08:42 PM
Only the Dallas Cowboys would refuse to run the ball after the first quarter, after having gouged Green Bay to the tune of over 8 yards a carry. Dallas started throwing deep pass after deep pass in the 2nd quarter. I immediately started bitching to my buddy. He called me a fag and told me stop freaking out. At halftime I said it should be 34-3 not 26-3 but we stopped running the ball. I said we were going to choke, he laughed and made fun of me. Long story short, I was right, he is wrong. I can't believe Romo will get blamed for this shit. Obviously he played a part.....It's not hard for a Defense to sit back and wait for the pass when you have all but held up a sign with your play call for the opposing team to see. Yesterday was an all time NFL low for bad coaching. I don't give a fuck what anyone says. THAT WAS HORRID. Simply amazingly bad NFL coaching. Garrett, Callahan, and Kiffin had better get fired. There is no way you can go away from the run like that when you are having massive success and have a lead that big. You bleed the clock and stick to what got you that big lead. Over 300 yards of offense in the first half, but Dallas somehow goes away from the formula. Only in Dallas.