Hello Sam. I want to play a game.

["Jigsaw"]

You see, for years you have been operating under the assumption that you are actually a great GM, and people want to play in such a shithole like Methlahoma. You traded your second best player for dust chips, you got your alpha male re-injured, and apparently are pushing to end his fucking career.
419168683466838016

You haven't learned from your mistakes, but we are going to change that today. What you see before you is the average intelligent looking Oklahoman who hasn't had his meth fix in about a week. You will be placed in a room with 100 of these zombies, Mitchell included, which they can all smell the meth on you. You have 60 seconds to shit out all of the meth in your body before you become lunchmeat. Getting your salad tossed by 100 Mitchells will not be pleasant. Live or die Samuel, make your choice.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/05/30/article-2152149-135E24C8000005DC-271_306x345.jpg

[thunderup]

OP is a male secretary faggot.

[Brazil]

:lol

[elmanutres]

OP is a male secretary faggot.

Is that all you fucking got

[jeebus]

:cry I know you are but what am I? :cry

[RD2191]

:lmao

[Robz4000]

:lol

[Thread]

Getting your salad tossed by 100 Mitchells will not be pleasant.

I'm willing to test that opine.

[Budkin]

:lmao oh man 10/10

["Jigsaw"]

I'm willing to test that opine.
You have something brown on your upper lip.

[Thread]

^That's Midgee juice from Toosie Rolls.

[Bulaien999]

Fucking gold

[Jodelo]

:lmao

[Rogue]

Jigsaw has to be mono's troll tbh, no one else wouldn't done just a terrific job pwning methhead fans tbh.

[KaiRMD1]

This ol' sport :lmao

[timtonymanu]

:lmao

[irishock]

Could be DJohn2oo8

[J.T.]

This troll had potential until the "about a week" line. Jigsaw wouldn't calculate an elaborate plan to kidnap someone and put them through this trial and leave out a detail such as the approximate length of time that had elapsed between the most recent meth fix of each of these one hundred tweakers. Unless you were approximating the time lapse for the entire hundred. Which makes sense, except that seeing one hundred meth-starved tweakers at once versus one, then ninety-nine more is a means to the same end and inevitably pointless from a torture perspective. Even if you were constricted, you'd at least have a chance against one person. Maybe not a very good chance, but one nonetheless. There would be faint hope quickly replaced by overwhelming fear that quickly transitions into overwhelming despair and then ultimately shock as you are eaten alive. On paper that sounds worse, but what the paper doesn't explain is that since the victim is so swiftly eaten alive in this scenario, he never really processes the whole "well gee, that was kind of fucked up to give me hope and take it away like that." It's just "oh shit" followed by death.

And if that doesn't convince you enough, there are holes in the resolution to this trial as well. Jigsaw says the tweakers can smell the meth on Presti. Meaning it's on his person. When you're high on something, the subject-verb agreement switches. When you have drugs stored inside of you, such as the in the context of a drug mule, which this situation most closely resembles being that Presti has an indeterminate amount of meth confined in his rectum, the preposition "in" would be used in place of "on." This is all simple grammar that John Kramer surely would have known being that he was a civil engineer, as any diehard Saw fan or experienced Wikipedia researcher would know. Obviously he was pretty good at it given all of the elaborate traps he has constructed in his day, meaning he probably went to college to study engineering. And he is white, which, you know, means he is genetically predisposed to understand his own fucking language.

Thirdly, the resolution of this trial is impossible, and we all know John Kramer doesn't design unbeatable traps. It's not a game if you can't win. Basic common sense tells you that most Jigsaw victims awaken restricted somehow. So let's say the restraints release at the instant the timer starts. That's at least five seconds wasted while Presti processes that he is free and begins taking action. What if he doesn't need to shit? Hard to imagine he wouldn't need to with an indeterminate amount of meth lodged in his anal cavity, but sometimes you're just not "feeling it." Also, what of the one hundred tweakers. The general logic of the situation tells you that one hundred people can overrun a single person in far less than sixty seconds. So this trap, in its core construction, is not beatable. This troll is not Jigsaw, which explains the quotation marks, I guess.

So that means it's either Amanda or Hoffman. Smart money's on Hoffman, because he's a cop and we all know people become cops because they can't get into college. Especially men. The police force is literally filled with ex-jocks and meatheads who couldn't count to potato with a calculator and a map of Idaho. And Amanda was a common junkie bitch before we met her. Maybe she dropped out of school at some point, who knows. But a junkie wouldn't fumble the subject-verb agreement between the different contexts of possessing, using and storing drugs. It would have become so common to her it was like a second language.

Game over pal, you're Mark Hoffman.

[Reck]

^ Mind melt.

Who wrote that shit? :lol

[thunderup]

That faggot djohn should stick to posting random twitter feeds than trying to troll and talk shit. It's a shame big dog thunderup has him exhausting all his accounts only to fail miserably.

[Rogue]

Could be DJohn2oo8
my nigga djohn doesn't hate Methlahoma Thunder this bad imho, and this Jigsaw troll doesn't even sound like MJ (a confirmed djohn's troll) to begin with, tbh.

[J.T.]

^ Mind melt.

Who wrote that shit? :lol

I did, obviously I couldn't copy-paste a response to this particular thread from somewhere else on the internet. The first post is pretty specific.