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Halberto
01-27-2014, 02:02 PM
Unbelievable



WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report (http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/))—Dr. Stephen Hawking’s recent statement that the black holes he famously described do not actually exist underscores “the danger inherent in listening to scientists,” Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minnesota) said today.Rep. Bachmann unleashed a blistering attack on Dr. Hawking, who earlier referred to his mistake on black holes as his “biggest blunder.”

“Actually, Dr. Hawking, our biggest blunder as a society was ever listening to people like you,” said Rep. Bachmann. “If black holes don’t exist, then other things you scientists have been trying to foist on us probably don’t either, like climate change and evolution.”

Rep. Bachmann added that all the students who were forced to learn about black holes in college should now sue Dr. Hawking for a full refund. “Fortunately for me, I did not take any science classes in college,” she said.

Bachmann’s anti-Hawking comments seemed to be gaining traction on Capitol Hill, as seen from the statement by Rep. Lamar Smith (R-Texas), Chairman of the House Science Committee, who said, “Going forward, members of the House Science Committee will do our best to avoid listening to scientists.”

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2014/01/stephen-hawkings-blunder-on-black-holes-shows-danger-of-listening-to-scientists-says-bachmann.html

boutons_deux
01-27-2014, 02:06 PM
no, for this crazy bitch and widely applauded, world-renowned astrophysicist, it's perfectly believable. There's no "danger" in listening to MB.

Wild Cobra
01-27-2014, 02:13 PM
A satire article...

Can you show me actual quotes of what Bachmann said?

Hawkings admitted his biggest blunder. This is fact...

boutons_deux
01-27-2014, 02:27 PM
A satire article...

Can you show me actual quotes of what Bachmann said?

Hawkings admitted his biggest blunder. This is fact...

Do Your Own Research -- (c) WC

Black holes should be redefined, says Stephen Hawking in new paper

In the paper, "Information Preservation and Weather Forecasting for Black Holes (http://arxiv.org/pdf/1401.5761v1.pdf)," Dr. Hawking proposes a solution to this paradox: instead of devouring information and energy permanently, black holes release it back into the universe in a garbled, unrecognizable form.

Now Dr. Hawking proposes a shifting boundary, the "apparent" horizon, which fluctuates according to quantum effects.

"There are no black holes," the paper concludes, "in the sense of regimes from which light can't escape to infinity."

http://www.theverge.com/2014/1/25/5344544/stephen-hawking-says-there-are-no-black-holes

baseline bum
01-27-2014, 02:41 PM
My nigga Hawking, shitting on the firewall hypothesis with CPT invariance

5bueZoYhUlg

Wild Cobra
01-27-2014, 02:45 PM
Do Your Own Research -- (c) WC

Black holes should be redefined, says Stephen Hawking in new paper

In the paper, "Information Preservation and Weather Forecasting for Black Holes (http://arxiv.org/pdf/1401.5761v1.pdf)," Dr. Hawking proposes a solution to this paradox: instead of devouring information and energy permanently, black holes release it back into the universe in a garbled, unrecognizable form.

Now Dr. Hawking proposes a shifting boundary, the "apparent" horizon, which fluctuates according to quantum effects.

"There are no black holes," the paper concludes, "in the sense of regimes from which light can't escape to infinity."

http://www.theverge.com/2014/1/25/5344544/stephen-hawking-says-there-are-no-black-holes




Yes. Hawkings admitted his past work was wrong. However, where is an actual quote of Bachmann's words?

This was a satire article in the OP!

Spurminator
01-27-2014, 05:01 PM
The Borowitz Report is what the Onion would be if it was written by an angry, humorless person.