Wife wanted to cuddle; hubby wanted to watch sports

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

Thursday, August 4, 2005
Wife wanted to cuddle; hubby wanted to watch sports
Associated Press

PANAMA CITY, Fla. -- A man who got angry with his wife because she wanted to cuddle after sex when what he really wanted to do was watch sports on television was sentenced to death for killing her with a claw hammer.

Christopher Offord, 30, was sentenced Wednesday by Circuit Judge Dedee Costello, who said the brutality of the crime outweighed any mental problems Offord may have had.

"The defendant struck his wife approximately 70 individual blows after spending a happy interlude with her," the judge said. "Her desire to cuddle after sex does not justify the extremely violent, brutal response of the defendant."

Offord pleaded guilty to first-degree murder in the 2004 slaying of Dana Noser, 40, at his apartment.

He confessed to a bartender at a sports bar before his arrest. He told investigators that his wife had been nagging him to come back to bed.

Offord did not speak in court but said in a jailhouse interview in June: "I figured I killed her so I deserve to die."

http://sports.espn.go.com/sports/news/story?id=2124333

[sa_butta]

70 times, Damn. That is a sports nut.
Im sure he will be taking it in the ass now in jail.

[iminlakerland]

wtf thats insane!

[Horry For 3!]

Crazy shit. I watch sports 24/7 but i'd never kill someone over sports. That is just fucked up.

[tw05baller]

70 times, one for every time the other team got a point

[bigzak25]

i expected to come into this thread to relate, but that is just horrible and sad. :(

if the shithead had done his job properly, she would have been sound asleep anyway.

[ShoogarBear]

Laker fan.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

I wonder if he did the SportsCenter "da-da-da da-da-da" when he finished.

/Window seat to hell, please.

[iminlakerland]

Laker fan.


uhhh NO!

[David Bowie]

That's just crazy. I also remembr reading something about a couple who were into S&M play, and the dude was a Spurs fan. And he would cane his partner for every point the Spurs scored. Good thing hte Spurs are a low scoring team.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

That's just crazy. I also remembr reading something about a couple who were into S&M play, and the dude was a Spurs fan. And he would cane his partner for every point the Spurs scored. Good thing hte Spurs are a low scoring team.

God, the Phoenix series must've sucked for him. Or maybe it was a good thing.

[ShoogarBear]

And he would cane his partner for every point the Spurs scored.

:lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao

Gives the expression "Robert Horry for three!" new meaning . . .

[Trooper 2112]

Damn, poor woman. 70 individual blows with a fuckin hammer! Hopefully that wasnt a
slow death

[SpursWoman]

:(

[1Parker1]

:lol And I thought that couple who named their child Parker Duncan Ginobili were Sports Fanatics.

I wonder what game the guy was watching...........:spin

[usckk]

Figure skating.

[1Parker1]

Figure skating.

:lol

[tlongII]

I believe there's a lesson in there for women who date younger men.

[SpursWoman]

I believe there's lesson in there for women who date younger men.


Be glad I'm not a cuddle-demander? :drunk

[ShoogarBear]

Okay, guys and gals, be honest: what would you have done if your sweetie wanted to cuddle during the OT of Game 5 vs. Pistons?

[1Parker1]

Given him a good kick in the you know what......to remind him of my priorities :princess.

[atlfan25]

Morons, they couldn't cuddle while he watched sports? I thought marriage was about compromise.

[Jekka]

Okay, guys and gals, be honest: what would you have done if your sweetie wanted to cuddle during the OT of Game 5 vs. Pistons?

Your "sweetie" should know better than to try that shit in the first place. There's time for victory (or cheer yourself up) sex after the game - hold it in until then.

[SpursWoman]

Morons, they couldn't cuddle while he watched sports? I thought marriage was about compromise.


I concur. :)

[ShoogarBear]

So then, 1P1 and Jekka, it sounds like you are showing some sympathy for Mr. Offord's position, then?

:eyebrows

[atlfan25]

Since he didn't want to cuddle with her, he will have to cuddle with Big Zeke now.

[Spurminator]

My wife (to be, at the time) tried to cuddle on the couch with me while we were getting our asses beat by the Lakers in 2002, and I snapped... Like, "Jesus, not now, damn!"

It's a wonder she still married me.

[Jekka]

So then, 1P1 and Jekka, it sounds like you are showing some sympathy for Mr. Offord's position, then?

:eyebrows

:lol More like advice to SOs of rabbid sports fans.

[bigzak25]

Your "sweetie" should know better than to try that shit in the first place.
There's time for victory (or cheer yourself up) sex after the game - hold it in until then.



so that's why you and manny always dissappear for a while after the games at the gtgs...:lmao

[timvp]

My wife (to be, at the time) tried to cuddle on the couch with me while we were getting our asses beat by the Lakers in 2002, and I snapped... Like, "Jesus, not now, damn!"

It's a wonder she still married me.

:lmao

[samikeyp]

Okay, guys and gals, be honest: what would you have done if your sweetie wanted to cuddle during the OT of Game 5 vs. Pistons?

that is why there is a TV in the bedroom. :)

[timvp]

Oh and it's a big plus to a sports fan as a wife. Kori would probably kill me if I wanted to cuddle during an important Spurs game or NFL game or something.

It comes in handy the most when I can talk to her about whether the Spurs are going to re-sign Devin Brown or whether Jamal Lewis is going to be a good fantasy pick, rather than the BSing you have to do with other girls about their day shopping or an inspiring Oprah show or whatever.

[Jekka]

so that's why you and manny always dissappear for a while after the games at the gtgs...:lmao

Dammit - I thought we were being discreet! :lol

[1Parker1]

Oh and it's a big plus to a sports fan as a wife. Kori would probably kill me if I wanted to cuddle during an important Spurs game or NFL game or something.

It comes in handy the most when I can talk to her about whether the Spurs are going to re-sign Devin Brown or whether Jamal Lewis is going to be a good fantasy pick, rather than the BSing you have to do with other girls about their day shopping or an inspiring Oprah show or whatever.


Hey! I know my basketball (ok, not football) and I know my Oprah and shopping too.....so don't generalize! :princess

[timvp]

I outlaw Kori from watch Montel Williams, Oprah, Maury Povich and other shows of that nature because they usually make her sad.

I put an adult lock on to block them :)

[ObiwanGinobili]

Okay, guys and gals, be honest: what would you have done if your sweetie wanted to cuddle during the OT of Game 5 vs. Pistons?

!st off.. My sweetie has the same love for the Spurs as I do.
So anysex during game times goes on infront of the tv in a position where I can get a good view.
therefore: after sex cuddling would also happen infront of the TV.

[2Blonde]

!st off.. My sweetie has the same love for the Spurs as I do.
So anysex during game times goes on infront of the tv in a position where I can get a good view.
therefore: after sex cuddling would also happen infront of the TV.
That's when you fight over who gets the best viewing position or set the DVR on pause til your done so you don't miss any of the game. :smokin

...2Blonde

[bigzak25]

you guys/gals are animals...if my wifey wanted to cuddle during a big game, my 1st question would be how she found me...:lmao

[CosmicCowboy]

!st off.. My sweetie has the same love for the Spurs as I do.
So anysex during game times goes on infront of the tv in a position where I can get a good view.
therefore: after sex cuddling would also happen infront of the TV.
:lmao

thats a great visual. I guess the baby was conceived during one of those late night rodeo road trip games?...:lol

[Kori Ellis]

Hey! I know my basketball (ok, not football) and I know my Oprah and shopping too.....so don't generalize!

I'm into shopping too. But I don't do Oprah :vomit

[ObiwanGinobili]

:lmao

thats a great visual. I guess the baby was conceived during one of those late night rodeo road trip games?...:lol


close but no cigar!

Thu Feb3 @ L.A. Lakers W 103 - 91 :elephant


:lol :lol :lol :lol

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

That's what halftime is for. Let's just put it this way. I didn't listen to Al and Hubie during halftime of Game 7.

[ShoogarBear]

That's what halftime is for. Let's just put it this way. I didn't listen to Al and Hubie during halftime of Game 7.
I wouldn't be able to concentrate at halftime of game 7 of the Finals with the Spurs down by a point.

[Ginofan]

I outlaw Kori from watch Montel Williams, Oprah, Maury Povich and other shows of that nature because they usually make her sad.

I put an adult lock on to block them :)

Dude, how does a MoPo paternity test episode make you sad? "I'm a thousand percent sure he's the dad" "You are NOT the father of that baby!" Good stuff man!

[JoeChalupa]

When the wife wants to cuddle I never say no.
Cuddling almost always leads to a little somethin' somethin'.

[Spursy]

!st off.. My sweetie has the same love for the Spurs as I do.
So anysex during game times goes on infront of the tv in a position where I can get a good view.
therefore: after sex cuddling would also happen infront of the TV.


Can you saaaay "Doggie style"

[Samr]

You know you're a real man if...........

[baseline bum]

Okay, guys and gals, be honest: what would you have done if your sweetie wanted to cuddle during the OT of Game 5 vs. Pistons?

I would push her head down in my lap so that she couldn't talk to me.

[baseline bum]

Oh and it's a big plus to a sports fan as a wife. Kori would probably kill me if I wanted to cuddle during an important Spurs game or NFL game or something.

It comes in handy the most when I can talk to her about whether the Spurs are going to re-sign Devin Brown or whether Jamal Lewis is going to be a good fantasy pick, rather than the BSing you have to do with other girls about their day shopping or an inspiring Oprah show or whatever.

You're a lucky man, LJ. Even worse than cuddling during games is when your girl wants you to explain the game. At least there's no illegal d anymore. That was the nightmare question when you had your girl in your arms during a Spurs playoff game.

.... It's because he was below the free-throw line while his man was beyond the arc.....

... Geez ho, what're you watching? He was in the lane for more than 3 seconds and not within an arms length of any opposing player!

Or before 2000 there was the whole "he's doubling off the ball! Call that shit, ref!"

[Trooper 2112]

I would push her head down in my lap so that she couldn't talk to me.
:lol

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

http://www.emeraldcoast.com/specialonlineupdate/offord1.html

Here's the court order.

[MaNuMaNiAc]

If anything, the brutality of the murder, and the reason for it are even more proof of his insanity, not proof that he's not insane!... that's insane! lol

[ObiwanGinobili]

I don;t think that everyone who has uncontrollable anger is "insane".
hearing voices, talking to god, seeing things, thinking you're from melmac and are king of the ants... thats insane.
But there are plenty of just plain fucked up people who do fucked up things that are perfectly sane.

[Sportcamper]

The neighbors said that, “He was such a kind & thoughtful man...Never too busy to say hello, how is your day”.....
http://i.a.cnn.net/si/2005/more/08/05/sex.sports.murder.ap/p1_offord.jpg

[ObiwanGinobili]

http://i.a.cnn.net/si/2005/more/08/05/sex.sports.murder.ap/p1_offord.jpg


holy shit :wow
wahst up with this guy? is there a manual at the prison on "How to Look Like the Son of Satan"??

[Sportcamper]

If the guy was really that much against cuddling you would think that he would keep a Stun-Gun in the nightstand....

[tlongII]

If the guy was really that much against cuddling you would think that he would keep a Stun-Gun in the nightstand....


I agree. No need to bludgeon the woman with a claw hammer.

[TheTruth]

my ex wanted to cuddle one time....just...one...time....

[Sportcamper]

http://www.askmen.com/toys/movies_250/pictures_250/289b_movies.JPG
Must reach Stun-Gun...Must reach Stun-Gun...

[Slomo]

^^^ :lmao

[Spurminator]

That's what halftime is for. Let's just put it this way. I didn't listen to Al and Hubie during halftime of Game 7.

Nothing gets on my wife's nerves more than me trying to get intimate with her during halftime/commercial breaks.

[ShoogarBear]

holy shit :wow
wahst up with this guy? i

Laker fan.

[ObiwanGinobili]

Nothing gets on my wife's nerves more than me trying to get intimate with her during halftime/commercial breaks.

:lol
weird..... maybe it's because she doesn't want sex that only lasts as long as the commercials? :lol