Kyle Anderson Facts

[Nathan89]

Kyle Anderson uses dial up internet and thinks it's too fast.

[Nathan89]

When Kyle Anderson finishes his breakfast it is lunch time.

[100%duncan]

Stop

[Fireball]

It takes him 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes ...

sorry, could not resist

[littlecoyotecoin]

Stop

I don't know. I kinda like it.

[Cowboys_Wear_Spurs]

After Kyle finishes a drive to the basket, its halftime.

[littlecoyotecoin]

It takes him 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes ...

sorry, could not resist

More, please.

[Prime Time]

Kyle Anderson came third in a two-man race.

[Seventyniner]

Kyle Anderson got lapped in a 100-meter sprint.

[SpurAddict561]

Kyle Anderson lost to the tortoise by a hare.

[smaka]

Stop
You said stop, but Kyle Anderson didn't even need to stop because he hasn't even started yet.

[Cowboys_Wear_Spurs]

Anderson needed a pet he could keep up with, so he bought a Sloth.

[Prime Time]

Anderson said the game of basketball is played within three-dribbles. By the third dribble, the game is probably over.

[littlecoyotecoin]

You said stop, but Kyle Anderson didn't even need to stop because he hasn't even started yet.

LOL, This could be the beginning of something wonderful.

[spursparker9]

Have your finger at the "fast forward" button when Kyle is subbing in

[Prime Time]

Kyle Anderson is still waiting for the draft.

[kev]

Kyle suffers from post-mature ejaculation.

[spursparker9]

.

[celldweller]

Kyle Anderson was born on Monday, September 20 through Friday, September 24, 1993.

[AFBlue]

Ironically, Kyle Anderson's favorite movie is Speed.

[littlecoyotecoin]

Ironically, Kyle Anderson's favorite movie is Speed.

The one where the bus speed could not drop below 5?

[mudyez]

Stephen Hawkins tried to make a Spurstalk account to participate in the "Kyle Anderson Facts" thread.

Timvp and Kori wouldn't let him.

[Brox6]

Kyle Anderson won a horse racing riding a donkey.

[Russ]

Kyle Anderson got lapped by a zombie.

[littlecoyotecoin]

Stephen Hawkins tried to make a Spurstalk account to participate in the "Kyle Anderson Facts" thread.

Timvp and Kori wouldn't let him.

Coincidentally, Stephen Hawking tried to join too, to study Kyle.

[Dex]

It takes Kyle Anderson two hours to make Minute Rice.

[mudyez]

Once Bonner drove to the basket while beeing defended by Anderson.

He missed the layup though.

[Nathan89]

100% of Kyle Anderson's college turnovers came from the 10 second violation.

[littlecoyotecoin]

Coincidentally, Stephen Hawking tried to join too, to study Kyle.

Theoretically, if a Kyle Anderson twin was sent on an inter-galactic faster than light journey, and returned to his twin on Earth, they would be the same age.

[mudyez]

100% of Kyle Anderson's college turnovers came from the 10 second violation.

...which shows that he is still living in the year 2001 before the 10-second-violation was changed to a 8-second-violation.

[Mel_13]

Kyle Anderson only dates blondes.

[littlecoyotecoin]

Chuck Norris once tried to kick Kyle Anderson into a higher gear, but Chuck's foot broke.

[littlecoyotecoin]

Kyle Anderson doesn't always drink beer, but when he does, it evaporates.

[littlecoyotecoin]

After safe driver discounts, Flo has to pay Kyle for insurance.

[Captivus]

Kyle is waiting for Spurstalk to approve his user since 2009.

[Nathan89]

Kyle Anderson's first endorsement was the US Postal Service.

[Chinook]

Kyle Anderson only dates blondes.

Subtle.

[Seventyniner]

Kyle Anderson can't step in the lane for fear of a 3-second violation.

[EP Money Man]

When they tell Kyle Anderson to haul buns, it takes him two trips.

[littlecoyotecoin]

Drying paint and rusting fences get impatient around Kyle.

[Sec24Row7]

Kyle Anderson isn't waiting for the next Song of Ice and Fire book to come out.

[littlecoyotecoin]

Kyle Anderson isn't waiting for the next Song of Ice and Fire book to come out.

Joey Crawford will give Kyle a technical for smiling.

[Dverde]

Elderly drivers honk at him to speed up.

[Spursfanfromafar]

Kyle Anderson is more talented and richer than the idiots here.

[Kindergarten Cop]

Kyle suffers from post-mature ejaculation.

:rollin

[littlecoyotecoin]

Kyle Anderson is more talented and richer than the idiots here.

Congratulations, you placed!

http://tinyurl.com/qg45r7t

[littlecoyotecoin]

If Kyle were a graphical representation of a first order rate of reaction of an aqueous solution in delta M/delta t, he would be indistinguishable from the x-axis!

LOL, oh shit, busting a gut over here!

[smaka]

Kyle Anderson goes on a slow break.

[Mikeanaro]

Kyle Anderson is slower than this SpursTalk offseason.

[littlecoyotecoin]

:rollin

That one was pretty good, heh heh.

[littlecoyotecoin]

When refs make a late call on Kyle, they're still early.

[100%duncan]

Kyle Anderson is more talented and richer than the idiots here.
:lol

[AFBlue]

Fact: Kyle Anderson still has his actual baby fat.

[Boomersgold]

Matt Bonner regularly beats Kyle Anderson in races.

[Nathan89]

Kyle Anderson has been pronounced dead on 5 occasions due to an undetectable heart beat.

[Clipper Nation]

Kyle Anderson is getting traded to the Clippers for CJ Suxcox and Jared Dudley :downspin:

[Quiet Strength]

Kyle Anderson never makes it to the restroom in time

[SouthernFried]

Kyle will create a network dilemma...how to run replays in fast motion.

Btw...I love this guy.

[AFBlue]

Kyle's favorite shows are animal documentaries due to the grotesque overuse of slow-motion cinematography.

[Seventyniner]

Kyle Anderson is getting traded to the Clippers for CJ Suxcox and Jared Dudley :downspin:

This thread is for jokes about Kyle Anderson being slow, not you being slow.

[TampaDude]

Kyle Anderson's birthday is September 20, 1993...which means he was the first baby born in 1994.

[Captivus]

Kyle Anderson's coast to coast actually ends halfcourt.

[UZER]

Internet explorer complains that Kyle Anderson is too damn slow.

[xmas1997]

Grass watches Kyle Anderson grow.

[tp2021]

Kyle Anderson shows up after practice with donuts.

[tp2021]

Kyle Anderson is the last player to leave the gym after practice.

He's also the last one to show up.

[SpurPadre]

By the time Anderson completes his first NBA drive to the basket, Bonner will already be in pumpkin mode missing playoff threes.

[tp2021]

When Kyle plays a back-to-back, he means weekends.

[tp2021]

Kyle Anderson: Centerpiece.

[SpurPadre]

He wishes he was the hero snail in the animated movie Turbo.

[tp2021]

Kyle Anderson is so slow,

How slow IS he?

He's so slow, Manu's hair can cover him.

[tp2021]

By the time Kyle Anderson finishes eating his grapes, Pop is there with a glass.

By the time Kyle Anderson finishes his beer, RC is on the news.

[Big Empty]

Kyle Anderson is so slow,

How slow IS he?

He's so slow, Manu's hair can cover him.lmfao!!! good ones yall damn!

[tp2021]

Kyle Anderson is so slow, Charles Barkley beat him in a race running backwards.

[tp2021]

Kyle Anderson is working on his first book, "24 Seconds or More"

[xmas1997]

The only person slower than Kyle Anderson is Paul Gasol.

[SpurPadre]

He thinks the Chariots of Fire's slow-motion beach scene is so fast that he has to keep rewinding it so he can make out what's going on.

[tp2021]

Kyle Anderson gives new meaning to "Late first round pick"

[xmas1997]

He is so slow, when he time travels into the past, he is actually going into the future.

[tp2021]

Pop only lets Kyle Anderson inbound the ball if Devin Brown is the alternative.

[BanditHiro]

Kyle Anderson is so slow, he can't even beat white slow nonathletic Euros who play soccer in a foot race.

[TheyCallMePro]

I beat Kyle Anderson in a game of one on one.

He forfeited because he couldn't make it from the bleachers to the court. And I got bored waiting for him.

[TheGoldStandard]

Kyle Anderson hates the eagles song Life in the Fast Lane

[RD2191]

Kyle Anderson hates the eagles song Life in the Fast Lane
:lol

[beirmeistr]

Kyle's favorite sonh is Slow Ride.

[TXstbobcat]

Kyle once lost a race to a 1 legged dog on tranquilizers.

[tim_duncan_fan]

Kyle Anderson is looking forward to playing with Rasho Nesterovic more than anybody else.

[Nathan89]

Kyle Anderson gets a 5 o'clock shadow once a year.

[tim_duncan_fan]

Kyle Anderson's favorite app:

http://techguygadgets.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/snake.jpg

[beirmeistr]

When Kyle dances under a strobe light, he looks like a statue.

[jsandiego]

During this year's March Madness, Kyle Anderson was fouled going to the hoop...

...we're still waiting to see if he gets the 'And-1'.

[SnakeBoy]

Kyle Anderson isn't slow, he's just very thorough.

[SouthernFried]

Kyle isn't slow, he's just trying to make it fair.

[xmas1997]

Kyle isn't slow, he's just misunderstood.

[SnakeBoy]

In the first game of the season Kyle will grab a defensive rebound. Then he will take the ball down the court and kick it to Patty for a corner 3.

[Nathan89]

Birds often land on Kyle Anderson.

[xmas1997]

Birds often land on Kyle Anderson.

:lmao
Good one.

[tim_duncan_fan]

Chuck Norris fell asleep waiting for Kyle Anderson.

[superbigtime]

Kyle Anderson is often mistaken for a mannequin.

[superbigtime]

Kyle's little brother is actually older.

[FireMicoHalili]

Kyle Anderson still thinks the Heat are the NBA Champs.

[Prime Time]

Standing in line behind Kyle Anderson is also known as a hunger strike.

[skulls138]

Kyle Anderson hates helping people paint for fear of being painted.

[skulls138]

Molasses - "Damn".

[Brox6]

Taylor Swift once wrote a song about her failed relationship with Kyle Anderson, that song was never released because Taylor is still hoping Kyle will go back to her.

[hooperflash]

Kyle Anderson is so slow that when he was lost in a grocery store for a week , he died of starvation.

[j1nsa]

the janitor will give him the keys to at&t center so he can lock up on game nights.

[AFBlue]

We merely adopted the slow. Kyle was born in it.

[xmas1997]

Kyle is so slow it looks like he is going backwards, he makes snails feel respected.

[Uriel]

Vladimir and Estragon are still waiting for Kyle Anderson.

[xmas1997]

Kyle is so slow, he got lost going around in a circle.

[Nathan89]

Kyle Anderson said the best thing about walking through a park is watching the color of the leaves change.

[xmas1997]

He is so slow he could run for president.

[still.focused]

Some of these are actually witty/humorous

[xmas1997]

Kyle is so slow, he has to speed up, to stop.
And they have to measure his progress, with stakes in the ground.

[buujness]

Vladimir and Estragon are still waiting for Kyle Anderson.:lol

[Nathan89]

Kyle Anderson has nightmares about the crosswalk countdown.

http://dc.metblogs.com/archives/images/2007/09/Crosswalk.jpg

[RD2191]

Kyle Anderson has nightmares about the crosswalk countdown.

http://dc.metblogs.com/archives/images/2007/09/Crosswalk.jpg
:lmao

[tim_duncan_fan]

Kyle thinks Tony and Eva will last forever.

[hooperflash]

Anyone know how long Kyle's Mom was in labor , damn :(

[SpursRock20]

Kyle Anderson just recently finished celebrating the Cubs last championship.

[SpurPadre]

His video camera records moving images at 240 frames per second.

[Nathan89]

Kyle Anderson's mom had to take on another job to pay for his water bill.

[Spurs_Be_Beastin']

If Kyle Anderson was a Pokemon he'd be SlowBro, the evolved form of Slowpoke.
Slow, but still very powerful.

[SilverSpur]

Kyle Anderson lost a race with molasses going up hill in the winter.

[TampaDude]

"Let's take a look at Kyle Anderson's last shot on Phantom Cam."

"We don't have that play on Phantom Cam."

"Oh...just run the replay at normal speed, then. Same thing."

[xmas1997]

Kyle is slower than a tortoise on valium.

[Nathan89]

It's impossible for Kyle Anderson to jump to his death.

[AFBlue]

Kyle's favorite place in SA is Natural Bridge Caverns...absolutely awed by those stalagmites. :wow

[SpursRock20]

"Let's take a look at Kyle Anderson's last shot on Phantom Cam."

"We don't have that play on Phantom Cam."

"Oh...just run the replay at normal speed, then. Same thing."
:lol

[jkid12456]

Kyle Anderson shoots and releases the ball for the game winner 10 seconds before the clock finishes.

[jkid12456]

Kyle Anderson is so slow that when he grabs a defensive rebound, Patty is already all the way in the corner for a three.

[jkid12456]

Kyle Anderson's idol is the tortoise from the hare and the tortoise story

[jkid12456]

When Kyle Anderson gets pushed by someone, refs dont call a foul, cuz his fall was too slow to actually look like a legit fall.

[jkid12456]

When Kyle Anderson watches Patty Mills buzz on the court, he gets so dizzy and faints.

[RD2191]

When Kyle Anderson watches Patty Mills buzz on the court, he gets so dizzy and faints.
:lol

[jkid12456]

In those hollywood sport movies, where there is an epic slo-mo moment for a game winner, that's the same speed as Kyle Anderson in reality.

[jkid12456]

You cannot slo-mo Kyle Anderson on video, it just breaks the law of the physical universe.

[jkid12456]

Pop has to slo-mo practise tapes just for Kyle Anderson.

[jkid12456]

When Kyle Anderson scores, the announcer makes fun and calls his name for a 10 second duration.

[j1nsa]

Kyle Anderson will star in The Six Million Dollar Man movie! it will have very little editing(fast fowarding some scenes to make it look like he is actually jogging). it will run in real time. this will be a boring ass movie lasting 6 hours with an intermission.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-D99_UBhaU

[jkid12456]

Kyle Anderson doesn't throw the ball to pass, his teammates just furiously run up to him and grab the ball off him.

[jkid12456]

When he read the hare and the tortoise story, he got inspired and took it literally, and now moves like a tortoise for the rest of his life.

[jkid12456]

"Slow and steady" is x10 faster than what Kyle thinks "slow and steady" is.

[jkid12456]

In school when the teacher says, "Slow and steady wins the race", the classmates pointed to Kyle Anderson and said "Like him, Miss?".
The teacher replied, "Not that slow!"

[hooperflash]

Kyle Anderson is so slow , he posts a thread even though it's been posted 5 times already.

[xmas1997]

Kyle Anderson is so slow, when he gets called for flopping, the game has been over for an hour.

[stxspurs]

kyles gf asked him to take it slow....he replied "thats the only way i know how."

[stxspurs]

kyle Anderson....invented the slow clap.

[xmas1997]

Kyles gf asked him a question, by the time he replied, she had been interred.

[stxspurs]

kyle Anderson doesnt complain about slow internet connection

[stxspurs]

kyle anderson slows his roll.

[stxspurs]

walking dead zombies are too fast for Slowmo

[tholdren]

Kyle Anderson can only watch NASCAR durung rain delay

[stxspurs]

kyles favorite song is Slow ride

[stxspurs]

Fun fact # 463
Kyle has a pet sloth.

[tholdren]

Kyle anderson is eagerly awaiting the prequel to Fast and Furious

Kyle Anderson's highschool nemesis is Ridgemont High

Kyle Anderson has to mentally prepare to eat at McDonalds

Tracy Chapman will be found nowhere on Kyle Anderson's Ipod

[wildcardX]

http://s02.tcuniverse.com/vkmedia_store/2014/07/XKZbGU7HGnfSdEkM/sizes/clean/pic_086_clean_790.jpg

Kyle Anderson jumping off a sinking ship.

[Captivus]

http://s02.tcuniverse.com/vkmedia_store/2014/07/XKZbGU7HGnfSdEkM/sizes/clean/pic_086_clean_790.jpg

Kyle Anderson jumping off a sinking ship.

:lol

[Nathan89]

http://s02.tcuniverse.com/vkmedia_store/2014/07/XKZbGU7HGnfSdEkM/sizes/clean/pic_086_clean_790.jpg

Kyle Anderson jumping off a sinking ship.

:lmao

[Sean88888]

Kyle Anderson loves Nickelback

[jkid12456]

Kyle Anderson loves Nickelback
:lol

[xmas1997]

.

[32fastest]

Kyle Anderson uses a rotary phone.

[32fastest]

Kyle Anderson texts like this.

http://i630.photobucket.com/albums/uu22/Fastest32/t9texting.png (http://s630.photobucket.com/user/Fastest32/media/t9texting.png.html)

[Kidd K]

Stop

Kyle Anderson's top speed?

[TampaDude]

Kyle Anderson's top speed?

:lol

[BatManu20]

486564281614217216

[LongtimeSpursFan]

Kyle Anderson is so slow he looks for breaking news in the history books.

[moisaenz]

Is he really that slow??

[Prime Time]

Is he really that slow??
These are facts, after all.

[spurraider21]

We merely adopted the slow. Kyle was born in it.
raised by it. molded by it

[tim_duncan_fan]

In the demo I just played for NBA Live 2015, Kyle Anderson can't move without the turbo button.

[littlecoyotecoin]

These are facts, after all.


:toast

[barakz21]

raised by it. molded by it

Well played! :rollin

[DrSteffo]

When Kyle Anderson has sex, rigor mortis is a real concern

[FlAVaK]

Looks like someone invented a special clock for Kyle:

https://www.slow-watches.com/?setStore=us

[Dex]

Kyle Anderson drives a Dodge Stratus.

[Old School 44]

It's also sad about his family, his brother's not too bright, his sister gets around, and his mom's in porn.
Together they're known as slow-mo, slow-bro, slow-ho and slow-blow.

[Dex]

It's also sad about his the family, his brother's not to bright, his sister gets around, and his mom's in porn.
Together they're known as slow-mo, slow-bro, slow-ho and slow-blow.

:lol

[wildbill2u]

Fun fact # 463
Kyle has a pet sloth.

His pet sloth takes Kyle Anderson for a walk and has to wait on him.

[Old School 44]

The Spurs don't have to worry about Kyle's diet. He can't eat fast food.

[wildcardX]

If Kyle Anderson had only tried to be a superhero:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbO1Iwhvb74