This weeks future Darwin Award winner...

[benefactor]

...is this dumb bitch.
https://s2.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/26QXlpW_IkbMCLQzCzJm4w--/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3M7cT04NTt3PTQwMA--/http://l.yimg.com/os/publish-images/lifestyles/2014-07-21/6379cc40-1106-11e4-bcb6-efa0f914c309_shoplifted-dress-illinois.png

Danielle Sexton reportedly swiped a multicolored leopard print dress with a black waistband from Morties, a store in her native West Frankfort. After the owner's son, Kert Williams, posted a note about the theft and a description of the woman on his Facebook page, people quickly began pointing him toward Sexton's selfie, which she had just set as her new profile pic. Williams passed the information along to the police, who arrested her.

"It's almost too good to be true," Williams says about how Sexton was nabbed. He reports that Sexton also made off with a shirt, some jewelry, and a pair of sunglasses. Instead of laying low after her shoplifting spree, Sexton put the dress on immediately, posted pics online, and went out. "She came in here at 3, she was arrested by 6, she was in jail by 9," Williams adds. Police also discovered that Sexton had an outstanding warrant for an arrest in another county.
https://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/clothing-store-thief-caught-when-she-posts-stolen-dress-selfie-on-instagram-183827802.html

She needs to be sterilized upon release from prison tbh.

[boutons_deux]

Man killed in first fatal Texas alligator attack in two centuries

The area is marked by signs reading ‘No Swimming: Alligators.’

http://www.rawstory.com/2015/07/man-killed-in-first-fatal-texas-alligator-attack-in-two-centuries/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TheRawStory+%28The+Raw+Story% 29

[benefactor]

A 22-year-old man who was drinking and celebrating the Fourth of July tried to launch a firework off the top of his head, killing him instantly, authorities said Sunday.

Devon Staples and his friends had been drinking and setting off fireworks Saturday night in the backyard of a friend's home in eastern Maine, said Stephen McCausland, a spokesman for the state Department of Public Safety.

Staples, 22, of Calais, a small city on the Canadian border, placed a reloadable fireworks mortar tube on his head and told his friends he was going to light it, McCausland said. But his friends urged him to stop.

"Apparently, he thought that was a great idea," McCausland said. "His friends they thought dissuaded him from doing it, and the next thing they knew, he ignited the fireworks and he was killed instantly."

Staples's brother Cody told the Daily News of New York that he was a few feet away when his brother lit the firework and was the first to come to his side after it exploded.

"There was no rushing him to the hospital. There was no Devon left when I got there," said 25-year-old Cody Staples, who called it an accident.
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/police-man-shoots-off-firework-top-head-dies-32231780

[Blake]

"There was no rushing him to the hospital. There was no Devon left when I got there...

gotdamn

[The Gemini Method]

Definitely lost his head on that one.

[wontstartdumbthreads]

gotdamn

you must have held a firecracker over your dignity

[SnakeBoy]

Man killed in first fatal Texas alligator attack in two centuries

The area is marked by signs reading ‘No Swimming: Alligators.’

http://www.rawstory.com/2015/07/man-killed-in-first-fatal-texas-alligator-attack-in-two-centuries/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TheRawStory+%28The+Raw+Story% 29




That's actually a funny story. Dude's last words were "Fuck that alligator" before he jumped in the water.

[RandomGuy]

Definitely lost his head on that one.

He should have waited and let cooler heads prevail.

[The Gemini Method]

He should have waited and let cooler heads prevail. too bad he had a mind melt...

[RandomGuy]

too bad he had a mind melt...

His parents always said he was headed in the wrong direction.

[RandomGuy]

too bad he had a mind melt...

He had half a mind to not light it...

[The Gemini Method]

His parents always said he was headed in the wrong direction. But in a more serious note, his mom is wanting to sue or have stricter warning labels on illegal fireworks or something another. Just plain stupid-- as is this whole situation. Blowing things out of proportion if you ask me.

[Drachen]

That guy want very headstrong. That's why he lost his head just as things got explosive. That's why he'll never be the head of a major corporation.

[Blake]

But in a more serious note, his mom is wanting to sue or have stricter warning labels on illegal fireworks or something another. Just plain stupid-- as is this whole situation. Blowing things out of proportion if you ask me.

Nice work.

[CavsSuperFan]

Crocodile attacks Australian teen who jumped into river on dare

BRISBANE, Australia – An Australian teen who was attacked by a crocodile after jumping into a crocodile-infested river on a dare was recovering from serious wounds to his arm, officials said Monday, as authorities recovered the body of another man who also may have been attacked by a crocodile in nearby waters.

Lee de Paauw, an 18-year-old from Queensland state, was at a hostel in the northern Queensland town of Innisfail around 2:30 a.m. on Sunday when he started bragging that he could swim in the river, a known habitat for aggressive saltwater crocodiles, said Sophie Paterson, a British backpacker who was at the hostel.

She and several others egged him on, though none of them thought he'd actually get in the water, Paterson said.

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2017/03/20/crocodile-attacks-australian-teen-who-jumped-into-river-on-dare.html

[SpursforSix]

Crocodile attacks Australian teen who jumped into river on dare

BRISBANE, Australia – An Australian teen who was attacked by a crocodile after jumping into a crocodile-infested river on a dare was recovering from serious wounds to his arm, officials said Monday, as authorities recovered the body of another man who also may have been attacked by a crocodile in nearby waters.

Lee de Paauw, an 18-year-old from Queensland state, was at a hostel in the northern Queensland town of Innisfail around 2:30 a.m. on Sunday when he started bragging that he could swim in the river, a known habitat for aggressive saltwater crocodiles, said Sophie Paterson, a British backpacker who was at the hostel.

She and several others egged him on, though none of them thought he'd actually get in the water, Paterson said.

http://www.foxnews.com/world/2017/03/20/crocodile-attacks-australian-teen-who-jumped-into-river-on-dare.html

Not even worthy of a nomination. It's surely stupid but not even close to what the top 5 will be.

[CavsSuperFan]

Not even worthy of a nomination.

Ahh come on! Salt water crockies are vicious

[SpursforSix]

Ahh come on! Salt water crockies are vicious

Nomination denied.

Two things. 1) people do stupid dares and shit all the time. I'm pretty sure he was probably drunk. Everyone has plenty of stories about dumb ass friends that did something that could have killed them and.... 2) he lived.
He put his money where his mouth was. He jumped in there and swam with the crocs (like he said he'd do) and lived to tell about it. He's probably a local legend now.

[I. Hustle]

Nomination denied.

Two things. 1) people do stupid dares and shit all the time. I'm pretty sure he was probably drunk. Everyone has plenty of stories about dumb ass friends that did something that could have killed them and.... 2) he lived.
He put his money where his mouth was. He jumped in there and swam with the crocs (like he said he'd do) and lived to tell about it. He's probably a local legend now.

Can you imagine all that Aussie tang he's getting?

[SpursforSix]

Can you imagine all that Aussie tang he's getting?

He took a big ass risk that should pay off. Hopefully (for him), there isn't some video of him high pitching screaming like a bitch. Hopefully, it's just some manly, "ow" while his punching the crocs in the head.

[Blake]

Ahh come on! Salt water crockies are vicious

I second the denial. Dude is still alive. Not even missing a limb.

[I. Hustle]

He went from swimming with crocs to swimming in skanks. Aussie's love that kind of stuff. Probably never has to pay for a Foster's again.

[SpursforSix]

yeah...he'll be allright...unless he keeps up the stupid shit


Local newspaper the Cairns Post said De Paauw escaped the croc’s grip on his left arm by punching it in the head with his right arm.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/image/8367544-3x2-700x467.jpg

[SpursforSix]

ha...this sums it up...

De Paauw has since revealed he accepted the dare to impress a young British backpacker.

“I just wanted to show the backpacker. I got her number and her name is Sophie,” he told Nova FM’s Fitzy and Wippa this morning.

Mr De Paauw said he had jumped in the water and was swimming back to a jetty “when the croc grabbed my arm, dragged me back out and started rolling”.
“It took me out about six metres from the wharf. I hit it once on the nose, it loosened a bit.

“I got another hit in and it was right on its eye. I was lucky because it just dropped me.”

Lee de Paauw, 18, was dared to jump into the croc-infested river. Picture: AAP/FacebookSource:AAP




The backpacker in question, Sophie Paterson, told The Courier-Mail that Mr De Paauw was bragging about how he wasn’t afraid to swim in the croc-infested waters (http://www.couriermail.com.au/) — so the group dared him to do it.
“It all happened very fast, pretty much as soon as he jumped in, there was splashing and screaming,” the 24-year-old said.

“There was blood everywhere and he just wouldn’t stop screaming.’’
Friends helped pull him from the water. The group was reportedly drinking at the time of the attack.

The victim was taken to Innisfail District Hospital where he was stabilised, before being taken to Cairns Hospital for surgery.






http://cdn.newsapi.com.au/image/v1/4ba3978c77aef823100a02fb98f15cde

British backpacker Sophie Paterson,

[I. Hustle]

A better pic and bigger boobs and I would swim through rat infested NIOSA to take a stab at her.