Texans

[ObiwanGinobili]

it's an oldie but a goodie.

You know you're from Texas if:)

1. You measure distance in hours. :tu
2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to A/C" in the same day.
3. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.
4. Stores don't have shopping carts; they have buggies.
5. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
6. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixin to go to the store. :oops
7. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.
8. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. :lol
9. You carry jumper cables in your car .....for your OWN car.
10. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.
11. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco
12. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
13. You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.------ OH YEAH!!! :)
14. The local paper covers national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for sports. :smokin
15. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
16. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
17. You find 100. degrees F "a little warm."
18. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and Christmas.
19. You know whether another Texan is from southern, middle, or northern Texas as soon as they open their mouth.
20. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more. :tu
21. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin wal-martin" or off to "Wally World."
22. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.
23. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop ... it's a Coke regardless of brand or flavor

[ObiwanGinobili]

dude my mother inlaw calls it a buggy.
infact she'll only shop at the new HEB becuase they have the best buggy's. The old "gucci" HEB has the crappy buggys. They ain't gucci no more.

[Solid D]

You forgot:
Business is spelled with a "d".

I've got some bidness to 'tend to.

Same goes for doesn't, isn't, wasn't.

Doedn't it seem odd that the letter "s" idn't used when talkin' to people.

[sa_butta]

it's an oldie but a goodie.

You know you're from Texas if:)

5. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
6. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixin to go to the store. :oops
9. You carry jumper cables in your car .....for your OWN car.
14. The local paper covers national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for sports. :smokin

20. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more. :tu

23. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop ... it's a Coke regardless of brand or flavorThese I can relate too, so true.:lol

[sa_butta]

dude my mother inlaw calls it a buggy.
infact she'll only shop at the new HEB becuase they have the best buggy's. The old "gucci" HEB has the crappy buggys. They ain't gucci no more.you talking the one on broadway, that is old but it is still gucci. All the rich old folk go there.

[ObiwanGinobili]

new h-e-b


you mean the ghetto h-e-b?


yes the ghetto HEB.
but i stopped calling it ghetto when they rebuilt it.
yeah, it's still ghetto located.. but it's soo prettY! :angel and it has that awesome tortilla machine! and better parking......

[ObiwanGinobili]

:makemyday

the old super k got bought by h-e-b and they're gonna move the gucci one into their and make it a central market


:owned



take that messcans


shit.
word was flying for awhile that Target wanted it for a Super Target. damn that woulda been cool.

It;s gonna be an HEB market? I thought they were going to use it for a distribution center?

BTW- they still need a new $ theater. there somethign truly not right about not having a $1.00 show in town.

[ObiwanGinobili]

2 h-e-bs

one for the white people = gucci
one for the "others" = ghetto
hahahaha

so funny because the 'ghetto' heb is the most newest badass h-e-b in the state
and the 'gucci' heb is old as shit now

man, the old ghetto heb was the most ghetto of ghetto heb's ever.

it out ghetto'd the superK in goliad.

[ObiwanGinobili]

my 1st apat. was across from VHS - I went to the playhouse almost every day.
tuesdays were 50 cents.

I think I saw Con-Air 8 times .

[ObiwanGinobili]

i always thought that living in victoria made my life more pathetic then a deaf dumb mental patient in a straightjacket.........

but then i met a guy named Vincent from Beeville.. he said on saturdays they would "peel out" for fun.
yeah. peel out. :wtf

[ObiwanGinobili]

don't you mean 'memorial high school - senior campus"?


excuse me.
i'm old school.

I still refer to them as Stroman aka i'll never go to college
and VHS aka home of the victoriawhores.

[ObiwanGinobili]

and fields to go to to park cars in a circle and build a fire and get blitzed


muddin.
muddin while drunk.
muddin while drunk in the field next to Aloe.
muddin while drunk in the field next to Aloe after you shot out the only light with a bebe gun.

[ObiwanGinobili]

they used to sell these raffle tix that were like $100 each. WTF?
thats how they got people to buy them. they were victoriawhores.

[ObiwanGinobili]

me cbf and mookie went to st blow


:lmao :lmao



were you guys there when that chick was standing up in the back of someone's pick up and she fell out and died?

[samikeyp]

14. The local paper covers national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.

This is a bad thing? :lol


18. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and Christmas

also referred to as "kinda hot, hot, damn hot and August." :)

[ObiwanGinobili]

yeah jennifer

that was sad.

last day of school before xmas break

about 8 kids died in a 2 year span at one point...


yeah that sucked.

there were alot of kids that died for like 3 or 4 years.... a couple were suicides.
I know of a hanging, a shot gun to the head and an auto-erotic asphixiation.

[SWC Bonfire]

A Texas Visitor's guide:

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road". I drive a pickup truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They ARE pigs, cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-20 and I-10 go east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.

4. So you have a $60,000 dollar car. We're impressed. We have quarter-million dollar cotton strippers that we drive 3 weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawdads. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That is applied to everyone, regardless of age.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Pace Picante Sauce.

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

13. High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.

15. Colleges? They come outta school with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.

16. We have more folks in the Navy, Army, Marines, and Air Force than any other state, so "Don't Mess with Texas." If you do, it will get your butt whipped by the best.

17. Always remember what our great president & governor Sam Houston once said: "Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas."

[ObiwanGinobili]

my little brother is going to memorial now and the football team is Forcing them to sell twenty $20 raffle tickets or else they don't get a uniform


ok.
now thats fucked up.

anythign good on the raffle?
Atzenhoffer used to donate a car for the victoriadore raffle.. but that wa before the oldman died... his son in law is an asswipe.

[ObiwanGinobili]

A Texas Visitor's guide:

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road". I drive a pickup truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

9. We open doors for women. That is applied to everyone, regardless of age.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

17. Always remember what our great president & governor Sam Houston once said: "Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas."

:lmao :lmao

[ObiwanGinobili]

it's not even a raffle ticket-- it's a fucking coupon for area businesses (buy one get one bullshit)

wth? the only people who are gonna buy it is the parents.
so why don't they cut the bullshit and just say" you need to pay for your own uniform casue we're cheap ass bitches"??

[1369]

my 1st apat. was across from VHS

When I moved to Victoria, I lived in the little yellow house on the corner of Stayton and Navarro right next to the railroad tracks. House evidently just got indoor plumbing, because they closed off the back porch and made it into the bathroom/utility area. I'm 5'9" and had to stoop to take a leak and you had to stand so close to the shower head it just about beat you to death.

Oh, and being jolted from bed every evening from UP humping cars was a treat too.

[ObiwanGinobili]

When I moved to Victoria, I lived in the little yellow house on the corner of Stayton and Navarro right next to the railroad tracks. House evidently just got indoor plumbing, because they closed off the back porch and made it into the bathroom/utility area. I'm 5'9" and had to stoop to take a leak and you had to stand so close to the shower head it just about beat you to death.

Oh, and being jolted from bed every evening from UP humping cars was a treat too.

when I 1st moved to victoria I lived with my mom (i was a minor) and I lived in the big blue house on the corner of DeLeon and Goowin Ave. right across fro mthat old old as train engine. It has 2 story wrap around porches. Ans was not originaly built with indoor plumbing either.
All the bathrooms were built on enclosed ends of the porches, so the floors sloped like a porch. Also ther was no duct work.
but atleast the house was always cool fro mthe high ceilings and transoms.

and who doesn't love the train coming buy like a tornado at 11:55 pm, 3:17am and whenever you need to be at work on time? :rolleyes

[ObiwanGinobili]

oh. and that apt. on Miori cost me $300 a month.
but if i had rented that little gray house on navarro RIGHT NEXT TO THE TRACKS then I would've only had to pay $250.

but i had just spent years 1 block from the train.. why would I want to move even closer?

[Horry For 3!]

23. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop ... it's a Coke regardless of brand or flavor
I call it soda. :tu

[JoeChalupa]

I call cocaine "soda".

[ObiwanGinobili]

i call it coke. but i drink DP. but i call DP coke.

[Horry For 3!]

i call it coke. but i drink DP. but i call DP coke.
DP Coke? lol

[SWC Bonfire]

I call it soda. :tu

It is permissible to call a coke a soda water, but never a "pop".

[samikeyp]

17. Always remember what our great president & governor Sam Houston once said: "Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas."

Amen. :)

[ObiwanGinobili]

someone told me that when Texas signed the documents that made us part of the USA , they had somehting written in that if we ever got too much for the feds to control they have the right to break us up into smaller states.

anyone else ever hear this?

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

someone told me that when Texas signed the documents that made us part of the USA , they had somehting written in that if we ever got too much for the feds to control they have the right to break us up into smaller states.

anyone else ever hear this?

Kinda sorta.

Snopes Is Your Friend! (http://www.snopes.com/history/american/texas.asp)