If you're an NBA Scout

[RsxPiimp]

And you were given a task to give your honest to goodness scouting report for some of the players below behind closed doors, how would you describe their game, skill, personality, demeanor etc?


Kobe
Duncan
Kawhi
Lebron
Dwight
Durant
Rose
Parker
Ibaka
Deron Williams

[FuzzyLumpkins]

Kobe - TOSB
Duncan - GPFOAT
Kawhi - bustin out
Lebron - late maturity
Dwight - dumb but hardworking and athletic
Durant - dumb, ugly, half assed defender. greatest shooter of his generation.
Rose - gimp
Parker - pimp
Ibaka - jump shooting weakside defender
Deron Williams - selfish and fat

[spurraider21]

Kobe has some snitch in him. Not in a bad way, but like if he's in trouble one day he'll totally fuck you over

[baseline bum]

Kobe - Let this fuck nigga shoot as much as he wants
Duncan - 5
Kawhi - Nigga pickpocket the ball with dem hands
Lebron - He went to Cleveland for the kids :cry
Dwight - Likes underage pussy, put coach's daughter in a tube top courtside
Durant - Beware the whistle
Rose - Sweep the leg
Parker - Dribble, dribble, dribble Enrique
Ibaka - Ebola some scary shit
Deron Williams - Nigga can't run 10 feet without huffing

[DMC]

And you were given a task to give your honest to goodness scouting report for some of the players below behind closed doors, how would you describe their game, skill, personality, demeanor etc?


Kobe
Duncan
Kawhi
Lebron
Dwight
Durant
Rose
Parker
Ibaka
Deron Williams

Kobe: Solid player in the mold of Jordan, selfish to a flaw, unwilling to share the ball or the spotlight with his team. Has a huge chip on his shoulder that's unwarranted because he was raised wealthy. Personifies the "White Men Can't Jump" quote about preferring to look good losing than to win and not shine in the process. As much a detriment to his team as an asset even in his glory days. Ex teammates bash him, plays in a premier city on a premier team but struggles to get good help to stick around because of his acidic personality.

Duncan: Solid footwork, best inside game in the game. Heady defender, great court awareness, underrated passing skills, great hands. Has some mental hangups where shot mechanics are concerned, needs more arc on his shot. Once had a bank shot that was unstoppable, has since shifted to a line drive shot at the front of the rim that often barely catches iron, but teams tend to give him that shot so he takes it. Knows his weaknesses, adapts his game to his teammates abilities. Great leader, leads by example. Well respected around the league.

Kawhi: Big hands, hard worker, gets results. Lacks confidence but gaining in that department by leaps and bounds. Handles are a bit suspect, but he's developed an outside shot and a jab step that clears space for the shot. Good 3pt shooter. Can shoot in transition on the pull up. Lockdown perimeter defender, gets a lot of deflections and some lead to steals. Still finding his role on the team, even his coaches have no idea how good he will be.

Lebron: Total package; handles, shooting, passing, defending, great teammate. Best player on the planet. Hasn't found a team yet though. Lacks killer instinct, shies away from clutch moments unless they are forced upon him. Only player in the game that can make a non-playoff team a title contender.

Dwight: Athletic, tall, agile, fast. Good rim protector, rebounder. Mental midget, easy to shake mentally, poor FT shooter, stays in foul trouble, victim mentality. Jovial to a flaw, lacks "next level" mentality, should be a larger factor on a team. Needs to get over himself, will never win a ring as a starting center as he's a liability in late game situations.

Durant: Best shooter in the game, average to poor defender. His shot is unstoppable due to his range and his size. Can finish at the rim. Good handles. Good passing skills. Still poking around looking for someone to tell him he's the leader. On the right team could be a perennial title contender. Needs to be the focal point of the offense.

Rose: Best PG in the game when he's healthy. Dangerous shooter, crazy handles, athletic finisher, good court awareness. Health issues have kept him sidelined.

Parker: Best finishing PG in the game, insane handles and uncanny ability to know where the rim is at full speed in traffic, and to get the ball through the limbs and to the rim. Could be a spotlight player on a premier team but chose to stay in the Spurs system. Has a narrow cone where court vision is concerned, lacks trust in non-tenured teammates. Over-dribbles at times, looks for his shot, has a bit of a chip on his shoulder as well.

Ibaka: Underutilized offensive player, drifts too far from the rim but can hit from outside. Aggressive defender, intimidating shot blocker, good on the break, good finisher and rebounder. Has potential that's untapped due to the jostling for alpha male on the team. Needs to play for a better coach.

Deron Williams: Shell of his former self, but at one time was the smoothest PG in the game. Had it all. Mentally regressed to being just an overpaid role player.

[spurraider21]

damn only DMC actually bothered putting time into it :lol

[Clipper Nation]

Kirby - terrible shot selection, terrible teammate, selfish, snitch bitch, team cancer, you have to win games in spite of this faggot's presence....

[StrengthAndHonor]

Tim- World class leadership. Still have a good amount of game left in him. Still a game changer.



Kobe- Cash cow. Wouldn't be able to offer anything other than star appeal and generate funds through marketing. A real PITA even at this stage of his career. Possibly good for 15-20 mins, but would not give any of assets due to a career ending injury. Not even a late 1s round pick. Think Olajuwon Post Rockets career,


Rose- Fragile. Appears to associate himself with various people that has questionable character, high risk asset. I wouldn't bank on his game to elevate his team to greater heights.


Deron Williams- Heard he lost his confidence. His legs are done and he never found his jumper again. Coach and a franchise killer. See Kenny Anderson.

[RsxPiimp]

Kobe has some snitch in him. Not in a bad way, but like if he's in trouble one day he'll totally fuck you over

:lol

[Captivus]

Kobe: Solid player in the mold of Jordan, selfish to a flaw, unwilling to share the ball or the spotlight with his team. Has a huge chip on his shoulder that's unwarranted because he was raised wealthy. Personifies the "White Men Can't Jump" quote about preferring to look good losing than to win and not shine in the process. As much a detriment to his team as an asset even in his glory days. Ex teammates bash him, plays in a premier city on a premier team but struggles to get good help to stick around because of his acidic personality.

Duncan: Solid footwork, best inside game in the game. Heady defender, great court awareness, underrated passing skills, great hands. Has some mental hangups where shot mechanics are concerned, needs more arc on his shot. Once had a bank shot that was unstoppable, has since shifted to a line drive shot at the front of the rim that often barely catches iron, but teams tend to give him that shot so he takes it. Knows his weaknesses, adapts his game to his teammates abilities. Great leader, leads by example. Well respected around the league.

Kawhi: Big hands, hard worker, gets results. Lacks confidence but gaining in that department by leaps and bounds. Handles are a bit suspect, but he's developed an outside shot and a jab step that clears space for the shot. Good 3pt shooter. Can shoot in transition on the pull up. Lockdown perimeter defender, gets a lot of deflections and some lead to steals. Still finding his role on the team, even his coaches have no idea how good he will be.

Lebron: Total package; handles, shooting, passing, defending, great teammate. Best player on the planet. Hasn't found a team yet though. Lacks killer instinct, shies away from clutch moments unless they are forced upon him. Only player in the game that can make a non-playoff team a title contender.

Dwight: Athletic, tall, agile, fast. Good rim protector, rebounder. Mental midget, easy to shake mentally, poor FT shooter, stays in foul trouble, victim mentality. Jovial to a flaw, lacks "next level" mentality, should be a larger factor on a team. Needs to get over himself, will never win a ring as a starting center as he's a liability in late game situations.

Durant: Best shooter in the game, average to poor defender. His shot is unstoppable due to his range and his size. Can finish at the rim. Good handles. Good passing skills. Still poking around looking for someone to tell him he's the leader. On the right team could be a perennial title contender. Needs to be the focal point of the offense.

Rose: Best PG in the game when he's healthy. Dangerous shooter, crazy handles, athletic finisher, good court awareness. Health issues have kept him sidelined.

Parker: Best finishing PG in the game, insane handles and uncanny ability to know where the rim is at full speed in traffic, and to get the ball through the limbs and to the rim. Could be a spotlight player on a premier team but chose to stay in the Spurs system. Has a narrow cone where court vision is concerned, lacks trust in non-tenured teammates. Over-dribbles at times, looks for his shot, has a bit of a chip on his shoulder as well.

Ibaka: Underutilized offensive player, drifts too far from the rim but can hit from outside. Aggressive defender, intimidating shot blocker, good on the break, good finisher and rebounder. Has potential that's untapped due to the jostling for alpha male on the team. Needs to play for a better coach.

Deron Williams: Shell of his former self, but at one time was the smoothest PG in the game. Had it all. Mentally regressed to being just an overpaid role player.

:toast

[RsxPiimp]

Kobe: Solid player in the mold of Jordan, selfish to a flaw, unwilling to share the ball or the spotlight with his team. Has a huge chip on his shoulder that's unwarranted because he was raised wealthy. Personifies the "White Men Can't Jump" quote about preferring to look good losing than to win and not shine in the process. As much a detriment to his team as an asset even in his glory days. Ex teammates bash him, plays in a premier city on a premier team but struggles to get good help to stick around because of his acidic personality.

Duncan: Solid footwork, best inside game in the game. Heady defender, great court awareness, underrated passing skills, great hands. Has some mental hangups where shot mechanics are concerned, needs more arc on his shot. Once had a bank shot that was unstoppable, has since shifted to a line drive shot at the front of the rim that often barely catches iron, but teams tend to give him that shot so he takes it. Knows his weaknesses, adapts his game to his teammates abilities. Great leader, leads by example. Well respected around the league.

Kawhi: Big hands, hard worker, gets results. Lacks confidence but gaining in that department by leaps and bounds. Handles are a bit suspect, but he's developed an outside shot and a jab step that clears space for the shot. Good 3pt shooter. Can shoot in transition on the pull up. Lockdown perimeter defender, gets a lot of deflections and some lead to steals. Still finding his role on the team, even his coaches have no idea how good he will be.

Lebron: Total package; handles, shooting, passing, defending, great teammate. Best player on the planet. Hasn't found a team yet though. Lacks killer instinct, shies away from clutch moments unless they are forced upon him. Only player in the game that can make a non-playoff team a title contender.

Dwight: Athletic, tall, agile, fast. Good rim protector, rebounder. Mental midget, easy to shake mentally, poor FT shooter, stays in foul trouble, victim mentality. Jovial to a flaw, lacks "next level" mentality, should be a larger factor on a team. Needs to get over himself, will never win a ring as a starting center as he's a liability in late game situations.

Durant: Best shooter in the game, average to poor defender. His shot is unstoppable due to his range and his size. Can finish at the rim. Good handles. Good passing skills. Still poking around looking for someone to tell him he's the leader. On the right team could be a perennial title contender. Needs to be the focal point of the offense.

Rose: Best PG in the game when he's healthy. Dangerous shooter, crazy handles, athletic finisher, good court awareness. Health issues have kept him sidelined.

Parker: Best finishing PG in the game, insane handles and uncanny ability to know where the rim is at full speed in traffic, and to get the ball through the limbs and to the rim. Could be a spotlight player on a premier team but chose to stay in the Spurs system. Has a narrow cone where court vision is concerned, lacks trust in non-tenured teammates. Over-dribbles at times, looks for his shot, has a bit of a chip on his shoulder as well.

Ibaka: Underutilized offensive player, drifts too far from the rim but can hit from outside. Aggressive defender, intimidating shot blocker, good on the break, good finisher and rebounder. Has potential that's untapped due to the jostling for alpha male on the team. Needs to play for a better coach.

Deron Williams: Shell of his former self, but at one time was the smoothest PG in the game. Had it all. Mentally regressed to being just an overpaid role player.
Was expecting the trolls would flood the thread but props to this post old man.:toast

[Thread]

Duncan: tall, gay, pussy whipped, short 1, pussy whipped, asshole like Lincoln Tunnel, short 1, Battier owned, pussy whipped.

[kobe4life]

The Great Satan- Strengths are that he's super athletic, great ball handling skills, and great court vision. Weakness is that he doesn't show up during the playoffs and always disappears during big moments only to be bailed out by teammates such as Ray Allen,Miller, Wade, etc. Another problem with The Great Satan is he can't win without bail outs and needs a stacked roster to win a title.

God- Doesn't have any weaknesses is basically a Jordan Clone except a better version since he has a 3 point shot while Jordan didn't.

Kawhi- Great hands and long arms with a decent post up game along with being an above average defensive player. Weakness is terrible handles, not good at creating his shot, and that he's autistic.

Dwight- Used to be super athletic but now is above average, above average defensive player, still a great rebounder. Weakness he has no jump shot, ugly post game, and doesn't have a good work ethic since that was the reason why he left LA because he couldn't match God's great work ethic.

[RsxPiimp]

Duncan: tall, gay, pussy whipped, short 1, pussy whipped, asshole like Lincoln Tunnel, short 1, Battier owned, pussy whipped.

:lmao

[RsxPiimp]

The Great Satan- Strengths are that he's super athletic, great ball handling skills, and great court vision. Weakness is that he doesn't show up during the playoffs and always disappears during big moments only to be bailed out by teammates such as Ray Allen,Miller, Wade, etc. Another problem with The Great Satan is he can't win without bail outs and needs a stacked roster to win a title.

God- Doesn't have any weaknesses is basically a Jordan Clone except a better version since he has a 3 point shot while Jordan didn't.

Kawhi- Great hands and long arms with a decent post up game along with being an above average defensive player. Weakness is terrible handles, not good at creating his shot, and that he's autistic.

Dwight- Used to be super athletic but now is above average, above average defensive player, still a great rebounder. Weakness he has no jump shot, ugly post game, and doesn't have a good work ethic since that was the reason why he left LA because he couldn't match God's great work ethic.
:lol one of your best post. At least you're consistent with your schtick

[313]

Kobe- old and cripple. He might give you 15-20 a game next season but at what cost?
Duncan-even in old age, his game has aged like a fine wine. He's a great team leader, has great defensive awareness, but lacks the lateral quickness to always be in the right spot. His line drive shot is spotty at best but he's still dependable in the post. Would start for a lot of teams today.
Kawhi-he keeps improving every year thanks to his work ethic and the Spurs great training staff. Uses his length and athleticism to disrupt the passing lanes, and provide great help D. His on ball defense is good when facing someone around his size. Small quick guards can blow by him. Which isn't a fault to him, because there are only a handful of guys who have the tools to stay in front of the Westbrook and Monte ellis' of the world. On the offensive end, he has an elite mid range game, decent three point shot and is strong enough to finish at the rim at will. Ball handling is shaky, but he'll improve.
Lebron-loser
Dwight- clown loser
Durant- beta, bitter, pussy, loser
Rose- assuming he can stay healthy, he's as athletic as anyone in the league. He's still not a great three point shooter from what we've seen in the world cup, but he makes up for it on other areas. He's as athletic as Westbrook, without the wrecklessness and more mature.
Parker- below average defender, but shows flashes every once in a while. Not much of a 3poiint shooter but can hit from the corner. Great mid range game, and elite finisher at the basket. Doesn't involve others in offense enough sometimes due to tunnel vision. Good team leader aside Duncan and Manu.
Ibaka- can hit the three from the corner. Can hit the 18 footer. Can't recall ever seeing him post up. Elite help defender/shot blocker. Average post defender. Good teammate.
Deron Williams-washed up

[Thread]

:lmao

I still got it!!!

[AlexJones]

Duncan: tall, gay, pussy whipped, short 1, pussy whipped, asshole like Lincoln Tunnel, short 1, Battier owned, pussy whipped.

lol

[cd021]

Kobe- A talent scorer with "killer instinct" late in close games. Missed most of last season and has unusually high mileage for 36 year old. Difficult teammate but craves winning. High volume shooter difficult to play alongside at times and to coach. Poor defender at this point in his career. Capable play-maker when he sets his mind to it but almost never happens.

Duncan-Highly skilled and well rounder, virtually no flaws to his game. Terrific passer, high basketball I.Q, strong rebounding and all time great defensive player. One of the great post players in the history of the game. One of the 5 greatest players in NBA history.

Kawhi-Long and athletic wing. Strong defender, plays the passing lane very well. Rapidly improving on offense. Good 3pt shooter and above average mid range game. Very good rebounder for position as well.

Needs to continue to improve on getting to the basket in the half court and showing more consistency in free throw shooting. Passive at times on offense.

Lebron-Freak athlete at 6'9. Terrific play maker and defender. Since improving his jumper and adding a post game his scoring efficiency and overall efficiency has shot up to near historic numbers.


Dwight- Terrific athlete and rim protector limited post skill but effective in p&r situations. Great rebounder but horrible free throw shooter. Immaturity issues and desire to be loved and appreciated put former team ,Orlando, through hell.

Following back surgery hasn't quite returned to the high level of the '11-12 season.

Durant

Rose-Explosive athlete,

Parker-Quick PG guard, uses speed to knife his way into the lane. Finishes at rim very well, crafty and aggressive on offense.

Improved jump shot has turned him into all star.

Ibaka-Athletic rim protector. Defensive anchor. Non existent post game and interior scoring. Very good floor spacing big man but needs to be set up. Reliant on others to create shots for him. Capable of being shut down by mobile forwards who can recover to contest his jumpers.

Deron Williams-Rapidly decline in production. Still capable of big nights but fewer and farther in between.

[SupremeGuy]

Kobe has some snitch in him. Not in a bad way, but like if he's in trouble one day he'll totally fuck you over:lmao

[Thread]

Kobe has some snitch in him. Not in a bad way, but like if he's in trouble one day he'll totally fuck you over

Like Amy.

tee, hee.

[spurraider21]

Like Amy.

tee, hee.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMatvWAgBoM

[Thread]

^Amy snitched as well, 21. Just take your lumps, sassafras. You've nary other choice.

Amy

[AchillesHeel]

I am not an NBA scout.

[spurraider21]

^Amy snitched as well, 21. Just take your lumps, sassafras. You've nary other choice.

Amy
not sure where you're getting that from. we have nary a quote from amy

[ambchang]

Kobe - Over estimation of own's abilities, can be baited into taking horrible shots. Ball stopper on offense. Tunnel visioned. Provides no effort defensively anymore, but still capable of spectacular highlight plays on that end once in a while. Plays for his own glory rather than the benefit of the team.


Duncan - Limited athleticism, but great positioning, especially on defense. Great help and positional defender, still a volume rebounder. Great passer, both kick out and interior passing. Settles for jump shots too often, still capable in the low post, but is using his teammates on offense much more for the benefit of the team.

Kawhi - Athletic wingman who can be highly disruptive on defense. Capable of lock down defence using his speed, wingspan, strength, intelligence and positioning. Good pull up shooter, capable of creating own shot, not a particularly great passer, especially off the dribble. Learning to take over the game.

Lebron - Physically dominant, involves teammates, great court vision, evolved into a very effective outside shooter. Great postup game, unstoppable driving to the basket and in the open.

Dwight - Athletic freak, but low basketball IQ. Uses his athleticism to play defense, can be exploited and confused with good passing. Horrible low post player considering physical attributes, mediocre passer, abhorrent outside shooter. Extremely sensitive, can be baited into losing compusure rather easily.

Durant - Great pure shooter, dominant scorer, can score anywhere on the court. Great passer, can drive to the basket. Tend to hold on to the ball too long (can be due to unimaginative offensive sets), but can also suffer from not demanding the ball more. Passive at times. Underrated defender on the perimeter due to questionable positioning and lack of attention to details. Too skinny to defend the post.

Rose - Questionable upon return from injury. Used to have unstoppable drives to the basket, can handle the ball in traffic, fantastic speed. Score first point guard who can also create for teammates if necessary. Not a particularly strong outside shooter. Had the athletic attributes to be a dominant defender, but mostly conserves energy to run team offense.

Parker - Great finishing around the basket, underrated mid-range shooter, score first PG who have trouble seeing the whole court. Great speed in the open court. Bothered by length. Can be exploited on defense due to size.

Ibaka - Athletic help defender, decent post defender, but can be exploited with strength. Underutilized finisher, but cannot create own shots. Very good mid range shooter, especially for a big man. Can be baited on defense. Doesn't necessarily make the best defensive decision as he tends to go after every blocked shot.

Deron Williams - Lost quickness due to inability to keep in shape, seems to require set offenses to maximize strength. Questionable shot selection at times. Becoming a horrible defensive player.

[Thread]

not sure where you're getting that from. we have nary a quote from amy

Amy

[spurraider21]

Amy
saying it in bold won't make it true.

[Thread]

saying it in bold won't make it true.

Amy

[Thread]

Amy

& Arn

[Kool Bob Love]

& Arn

The Fuck is wrong with you b?

[Thread]

The Fuck is wrong with you b?

Just checkin' assholes.

[Biernutz]

Amy


http://i210.photobucket.com/albums/bb270/systime/bag_zps1df11680.jpg