dennis rodman is plannning to speak to ISIS leaders

[Trill Clinton]

i hope they don't behead my niggahttp://i59.tinypic.com/11id6jb.png


Los Angeles, CA — With only a handful of reporters present on Monday at the Los Angeles International Airport (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Los_Angeles_International_Airport), Dennis Rodman announced his intentions to leave the United States to speak with leaders of ISIS (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islamic_State_of_Iraq_and_the_Levant) face to face.

“I know a lot of people won’t understand what I’m doing, but it’s my decision,” Rodman told reporters. “I think if I could just talk with the leaders of ISIS they would see the errors of their ways.”

“I wish him the best of luck,” Rodman’s agent, Paul Horner, told reporters. “Dennis is a wordsmith, a really likeable guy. I think ISIS will listen to what the man has to say and hopefully change for the better.”

Rodman told reporters he is not joining ISIS, or fighting along side them, but is only there to talk with their top leaders.

“I’ve been following ISIS for months now. There’s a lot of things they are doing that just ain’t cool. I’ll tell them what I think and maybe they’ll change their methods,” Rodman said. “I think my basketball skills will help a lot too, boxing people out of the paint at times when it counts, like the 4th quarter. I was thinking about getting a sweet ISIS tattoo to let them know that I mean business.”

73-year-old Caitlin Dewey, an avid Fox News (http://www.foxnews.com/) viewer told reporters she is confused by Rodman’s actions.

“I don’t know what he thinks he’s going to accomplish over there. He might as well be a pug trainer, no one is going to listen to him,” Dewey said. “The Washington Post (http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/middle_east/al-qaeda-disavows-any-ties-with-radical-islamist-isis-group-in-syria-iraq/2014/02/03/2c9afc3a-8cef-11e3-98ab-fe5228217bd1_story.html) calls ISIS a radical group of Muslim extremists, but that’s a load of malarkey. Personally I think they are a bunch of dirty hippies. They need to take a shower and stop injecting the pot is what they need to do.”

The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, or ISIS, is an unrecognized state and a Sunni (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunni_Islam) jihadist group (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Jihadist_organizations) in the Middle East, active in Iraq and Syria. It has been designated as a foreign terrorist organization by the United States, the United Kingdom, Australia, Canada, Indonesia and Saudi Arabia, and has been described by the United Nations and Western and Middle Eastern media as a terrorist group. The United Nations (http://www.un.org/en/) and Amnesty International (http://www.amnestyusa.org/) have accused the group of numerous human rights violations. (http://tonyblairfaithfoundation.org/religion-geopolitics/reports-analysis/report/exposing-momentum-isis)

Last month ISIS beheaded U.S. journalist James Foley (http://www.military.com/video/operations-and-strategy/terrorism/isis-beheads-us-journalist-james-foley/3739192455001/)who attempted to “talk” with the militant group. Rodman made headlines early in the year, when he traveled to North Korea to play basketball and meet with leader, Kim Jong-un (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Jong-un). After the trip Rodman told fans (http://ftw.usatoday.com/2014/03/dennis-rodman-on-north-korea-if-you-dont-want-me-to-go-back-there-ever-again-i-wont-go-back), ‘If you don’t want me to go back there ever again, I won’t go back’.


http://nationalreport.net/dennis-rodman-isis/

[Koolaid_Man]

LMFAO. ..I hope this ain't the big one for my nigga. I don't think they would hurt Dennis because then all the hood niggas will be signing up to fight ISIS. They don't want a bunch of hoods chasing them. Lol.

If Dennis is successful this will make a global mockery of all politics. It's like Chris Rock once said when he was joking about Jesse Jackson freeing hostages in Kosovo. He said Jesse would tell the captors: "If you really want white people to hate you just hand them boys over to me a black man." Lol

[Trill Clinton]

LMFAO. ..I hope this ain't the big one for my nigga. I don't think they would hurt Dennis because then all the hood niggas will be signing up to fight ISIS. They don't want a bunch of hoods chasing them. Lol.

If Dennis is successful this will make a global mockery of all politics. It's like Chris Rock once said when he was joking about Jesse Jackson freeing hostages in Kosovo. He said Jesse would tell the captors: "If you really want white people to hate you just hand them boys over to me a black man." Lol


real talk, we just have that charisma and charm that wins people over. thats how we had a group of ex ball players in n korea walking around with diplomatic immunity, meanwhile just a hundred yards away, some american geek was working like a slave in a sweatshop. peopled in non european countries fucc with us the long way.

and yea, if dennis is able to go there and come back with his head intact, frost kings will indeed be pissed off.

[hyhy]

hes crazy.. RIP

ISIS probably captured on of his family members and hes going there to replace whoever they have captured.. Since ISIS is trying to target something other than the government to arouse the public attention, this is probably a good way to go.

[DD]

He's already been to North Korea so this aint no thang for him

[Malik Hairston]

1- This would be a nice way for Rodman to cap off his life/career, tbh

2- "Injecting the pot"? :lol

[Splits]

2- "Injecting the pot"? :lol

"an avid Fox News (http://www.foxnews.com/) viewer" says it all...

[313]

RIP in pieces Dennis

[The Gemini Method]

Rodman done lost his head...

[Captivus]

Well...if he goes with some of his friends..he might get results..

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02772/Kim-and-Rodman_2772852b.jpg

[Bill_Brasky]

Further proof Rodman is an alien

[daslicer]

Wow is this real I really thought this was out of the Onion.

[Splits]

Wow is this real I really thought this was out of the Onion.

It's satire.

[SupremeGuy]

He would get his head chopped off, tbh.

[Sean Cagney]

He would get his head chopped off, tbh.

I would not doubt it at all, you think you can reason with those crazy fucks? NO. They don't care who he is, he is American to them.

[spurraider21]

:lmao national report
:lmao OP

[Sigz]

lol

[phoenix219]

It's satire.

Yup,

National Report is just another Onion, but they are sneakier, and they trick people and everyone on facebook is ignorant and thinks its real news. :D

[kobe4life]

This would work if God was sent down to talk to ISIS. God could easily convince this terrorist group to stop being a network of evil and transition it to a peaceful organization.

[Splits]

INDIAN MAN CLAIMS HE’S 179 YEARS OLD (http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/indian-man-claims-hes-179-years-old/)
http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/oldman-460x307.png

Vârânasî| A retired cobbler from northern India, Mahashta Mûrasi, claims he was born in January 1835, making him not only the oldest man on earth, but the oldest to have ever lived, according to the Guiness World Records.

According to indian officials, the man was born at home in the city of Bangalore on January 6th 1835, and is recorded to have lived in Vârânasî since 1903. He worked as a cobbler in the city until 1957, when he retired at the already venerable age of 122.

“I have been alive so long, that my great grand-children have been dead for years” explains Mr Mûrasi. “Somehow death forgot about me… And now there’s hardly any hope left. Look at the statistics, nobody dies past 150, even less at 170. At that point, I guess I’m immortal or something. I might as well enjoy it!”

The man’s birth certificate and identity cards all seem to confirm his version, but unfortunately no medical examination can confirm his saying for now. The last doctor Mister Mûrasi visited died in 1971, so there is little information available about his previous medical files.

[phoenix219]

INDIAN MAN CLAIMS HE’S 179 YEARS OLD (http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/indian-man-claims-hes-179-years-old/)


http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/oldman-460x307.png

Vârânasî| A retired cobbler from northern India, Mahashta Mûrasi, claims he was born in January 1835, making him not only the oldest man on earth, but the oldest to have ever lived, according to the Guiness World Records.

According to indian officials, the man was born at home in the city of Bangalore on January 6th 1835, and is recorded to have lived in Vârânasî since 1903. He worked as a cobbler in the city until 1957, when he retired at the already venerable age of 122.

“I have been alive so long, that my great grand-children have been dead for years” explains Mr Mûrasi. “Somehow death forgot about me… And now there’s hardly any hope left. Look at the statistics, nobody dies past 150, even less at 170. At that point, I guess I’m immortal or something. I might as well enjoy it!”

The man’s birth certificate and identity cards all seem to confirm his version, but unfortunately no medical examination can confirm his saying for now. The last doctor Mister Mûrasi visited died in 1971, so there is little information available about his previous medical files.




Whether its true or not, thats a great story. :D

[lefty]

INDIAN MAN CLAIMS HE’S 179 YEARS OLD (http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/indian-man-claims-hes-179-years-old/)


http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/oldman-460x307.png

Vârânasî| A retired cobbler from northern India, Mahashta Mûrasi, claims he was born in January 1835, making him not only the oldest man on earth, but the oldest to have ever lived, according to the Guiness World Records.

According to indian officials, the man was born at home in the city of Bangalore on January 6th 1835, and is recorded to have lived in Vârânasî since 1903. He worked as a cobbler in the city until 1957, when he retired at the already venerable age of 122.

“I have been alive so long, that my great grand-children have been dead for years” explains Mr Mûrasi. “Somehow death forgot about me… And now there’s hardly any hope left. Look at the statistics, nobody dies past 150, even less at 170. At that point, I guess I’m immortal or something. I might as well enjoy it!”

The man’s birth certificate and identity cards all seem to confirm his version, but unfortunately no medical examination can confirm his saying for now. The last doctor Mister Mûrasi visited died in 1971, so there is little information available about his previous medical files.



He doesnt watch TV, imo

[Agloco]

i hope they don't behead my niggahttp://i59.tinypic.com/11id6jb.png


Los Angeles, CA — With only a handful of reporters present on Monday at the Los Angeles International Airport (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Los_Angeles_International_Airport), Dennis Rodman announced his intentions to leave the United States to speak with leaders of ISIS (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islamic_State_of_Iraq_and_the_Levant) face to face.

“I know a lot of people won’t understand what I’m doing, but it’s my decision,” Rodman told reporters. “I think if I could just talk with the leaders of ISIS they would see the errors of their ways.”

“I wish him the best of luck,” Rodman’s agent, Paul Horner, told reporters. “Dennis is a wordsmith, a really likeable guy. I think ISIS will listen to what the man has to say and hopefully change for the better.”

Rodman told reporters he is not joining ISIS, or fighting along side them, but is only there to talk with their top leaders.

“I’ve been following ISIS for months now. There’s a lot of things they are doing that just ain’t cool. I’ll tell them what I think and maybe they’ll change their methods,” Rodman said. “I think my basketball skills will help a lot too, boxing people out of the paint at times when it counts, like the 4th quarter. I was thinking about getting a sweet ISIS tattoo to let them know that I mean business.”

73-year-old Caitlin Dewey, an avid Fox News (http://www.foxnews.com/) viewer told reporters she is confused by Rodman’s actions.

“I don’t know what he thinks he’s going to accomplish over there. He might as well be a pug trainer, no one is going to listen to him,” Dewey said. “The Washington Post (http://www.washingtonpost.com/world/middle_east/al-qaeda-disavows-any-ties-with-radical-islamist-isis-group-in-syria-iraq/2014/02/03/2c9afc3a-8cef-11e3-98ab-fe5228217bd1_story.html) calls ISIS a radical group of Muslim extremists, but that’s a load of malarkey. Personally I think they are a bunch of dirty hippies. They need to take a shower and stop injecting the pot is what they need to do.”

The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, or ISIS, is an unrecognized state and a Sunni (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunni_Islam) jihadist group (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Jihadist_organizations) in the Middle East, active in Iraq and Syria. It has been designated as a foreign terrorist organization by the United States, the United Kingdom, Australia, Canada, Indonesia and Saudi Arabia, and has been described by the United Nations and Western and Middle Eastern media as a terrorist group. The United Nations (http://www.un.org/en/) and Amnesty International (http://www.amnestyusa.org/) have accused the group of numerous human rights violations. (http://tonyblairfaithfoundation.org/religion-geopolitics/reports-analysis/report/exposing-momentum-isis)

Last month ISIS beheaded U.S. journalist James Foley (http://www.military.com/video/operations-and-strategy/terrorism/isis-beheads-us-journalist-james-foley/3739192455001/)who attempted to “talk” with the militant group. Rodman made headlines early in the year, when he traveled to North Korea to play basketball and meet with leader, Kim Jong-un (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Jong-un). After the trip Rodman told fans (http://ftw.usatoday.com/2014/03/dennis-rodman-on-north-korea-if-you-dont-want-me-to-go-back-there-ever-again-i-wont-go-back), ‘If you don’t want me to go back there ever again, I won’t go back’.


http://nationalreport.net/dennis-rodman-isis/

:lmao National Report? :lmao



Wow is this real I really thought this was out of the Onion.

Onion, National Report, The Daily Currant, The Daily Mash.........

It did trick a lot of folks in here tho.

[mudyez]

BTW.: If Tim Wiese can become a Wrestler, Dennis Rodman can become the next Secretary-General of the United Nations.

That said, Rodman already has been a Wrestler (not sure what that tells us about Wiese).

[wanggi]

Nobody can dehead someone who is no head.

[cd98]

Is this Onion article?

[Leetonidas]

You can tell Trill and Kool thought this was real because they haven't posted since someone pointed out the site is satirical :lol

[Trill Clinton]

I'm embarrassed I posted a satire article. Srs.

[SupremeGuy]

I would not doubt it at all, you think you can reason with those crazy fucks? NO. They don't care who he is, he is American to them.Not just an American, but a flamboyant, drunk, sexually ambiguous American. lol

[SupremeGuy]

You can tell Trill and Kool thought this was real because they haven't posted since someone pointed out the site is satirical :lol:lol

[Franklin]

INDIAN MAN CLAIMS HE’S 179 YEARS OLD (http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/indian-man-claims-hes-179-years-old/)


http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/oldman-460x307.png

Vârânasî| A retired cobbler from northern India, Mahashta Mûrasi, claims he was born in January 1835, making him not only the oldest man on earth, but the oldest to have ever lived, according to the Guiness World Records.

According to indian officials, the man was born at home in the city of Bangalore on January 6th 1835, and is recorded to have lived in Vârânasî since 1903. He worked as a cobbler in the city until 1957, when he retired at the already venerable age of 122.

“I have been alive so long, that my great grand-children have been dead for years” explains Mr Mûrasi. “Somehow death forgot about me… And now there’s hardly any hope left. Look at the statistics, nobody dies past 150, even less at 170. At that point, I guess I’m immortal or something. I might as well enjoy it!”

The man’s birth certificate and identity cards all seem to confirm his version, but unfortunately no medical examination can confirm his saying for now. The last doctor Mister Mûrasi visited died in 1971, so there is little information available about his previous medical files.



I think the ancient Chinese Daoist legend Zhang Sanfeng lived the longest in human history, maybe Sanfeng is still living a reclusive life somewhere in china as we speak, which if true would set his age mark at 500+ tbh. And it's bullshit the scientists couldn't verify his age, just test his bone age imho. I've been a firm believer of immortality and that's the biggest reason why I chose to be a celibate. I thought celibacy was the prerequisite for a long healthy life (like how it worked for Sanfeng) but this Indian dotard, if truly as old as he claims, would expectantly bring a new dimension to my research tbh.

[hater]

:lmao

[Sean Cagney]

Not just an American, but a flamboyant, drunk, sexually ambiguous American. lol

True.....

[Obstructed_View]

If ISIS beheads a black guy, you'll see boots on the ground pretty damn quick.